Either Pam Beesley from The Office, so I'd be dating Jim Halpert or Fiona from Burn Notice. She's a badass, and gets to (got to) sleep with sexy ass Michael Weston. Poor Bert, don't tell him those are my reasons for being those characters! In all fairness, he'd probably want to be Michael Weston, so I'd still be sleeping with him!
ETA: I was
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