Hey! I love the message of the poem, but I don't understand the topography (hard to believe I actually got an A in poetry & poetics...) can you explain?
1) I fixed it a bit you can tell. I originally was lazy and didn't feel like htmling the hell out of this figuring out how many " " = 1 space to put down to get this correct.
2) Now with this topography that I more or less like and is the original, it's sort of an idyllic skipping down stairs... falling off a cliff and back down again tripping?
Also, I suppose I like how the where the words begin and end that let you think or linger for a bit and the slight change in rhythm it might produce.
of course, I could all be pulling this out of my ass. (but really, I guess I just like where things are at)
Pulling things out of your ass is the best way to write poetry, especially free-verse. I like the idea of a child skipping down stairs, and more so the idea of a child narrating this piece: it makes it more honest, and somehow hits home a little more that way.
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll have to say it again: YOU MUST SUBMIT!!! to Unfettered Muse. There's a link in an earlier post on this community, and one on my LJ mainpage. I'm not the poetry editor, but this is good stuff and I can see it being published.
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1) I fixed it a bit you can tell. I originally was lazy and didn't feel like htmling the hell out of this figuring out how many " " = 1 space to put down to get this correct.
2) Now with this topography that I more or less like and is the original, it's sort of an idyllic skipping down stairs... falling off a cliff and back down again tripping?
Also, I suppose I like how the where the words begin and end that let you think or linger for a bit and the slight change in rhythm it might produce.
of course, I could all be pulling this out of my ass. (but really, I guess I just like where things are at)
Reply
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll have to say it again: YOU MUST SUBMIT!!! to Unfettered Muse. There's a link in an earlier post on this community, and one on my LJ mainpage. I'm not the poetry editor, but this is good stuff and I can see it being published.
Reply
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