R | A Most Awesome Teenage Life | 1/2
Title: A Most Awesome Teenage Life
Rating: R for language
Words: 8,500
Summary: After four weeks of being grounded, Nathan wisens up to what's really going on around him.
Notes: Maaaaaaassive timestamp for A Most Awesome Coach aka soccer!fic. Written for 13chapters under help_haiti. And thanks to neros_violin for looking at a bunch of questionable scenes and assuring me teenage angst is in. Jesus H. Christ. This got unearthly long as I got more excited to tell this story. IDEK what I'm doing, but I kind of love it. NATHAN FTW!
Jessica Murray is hot. She’s also a cheerleader. And if that isn’t enough, she tends to go for skirts and short shorts every day of the week. Her lips are always plump and glossy. The blue of her eyes is crystal clear and never fails to distract any guy in the vicinity. And the way she not-so-subtly tosses her auburn hair is mesmerizing.
She’s the typical all-American girl who seems to be hiding a tiny wild streak, just waiting for it to be dragged out of her. And everyone wants to be the one to do it. Even Nathan. Especially Nathan.
After soccer practice, he spends his wait time talking to Jessica and her friend, Katie Kennedy, joking with them both. Sometimes he gets a kick out of bantering with Katie just to make Jessica laugh, and those moments become the highlights of his entire existence. When her lips spread wide and make way for perfect, bright white teeth.
The car horn doesn’t deter him from continuing his conversation. He knows it’s his dad, knows Jensen has parent-teacher conferences and his dad made arrangements to pick him up at a decent time. But he still keeps going, mocking their science teacher, talking about an upcoming game, or even asking what Jessica’s favorite new song is. Nathan keeps going, keeps their attention and nearly thrives on it, loving how Jessica slyly leans closer to him as they talk and how her eyes seem to brighten as he makes her laugh.
But the horn keeps going and he finally rolls his eyes with a sigh.
“God, like it could be any louder,” Jessica laughs with a tiny huff.
Nathan pales for a second, looks at Katie and catches her careful smile, and then shrugs. “Yeah, whatever. He’s on the rag or something.”
“That’s … wait, you know …”
Katie pipes up easily. “That’s your dad, right?” When Nathan gives an odd glance, she goes on with a comfortable smile. “I saw him at your last game.”
Nathan tries to smile, but he can’t get over how Jessica looks awkward for a moment. Then he thinks about Katie’s comment, going over the fact that the soccer team doesn’t exactly draw big crowds when playing at the same time as football. “You saw the game?”
“Yeah. You had the winning goal in the last two minutes? Best game all year.”
He’s about to respond but he hears the distinct sound of a car door and he has nightmares of his dad coming over to talk to the girls and embarrassing him further. “I gotta go. I’ll catch you all tomorrow?” he says with a smirk as he backs away. They all share a wave, and as Nathan nears his dad, he grumbles. “Couldn’t wait just one more minute?”
His dad is standing, leaning against the open door of the sedan, giving a smart look. “Waited a good five. Six is my limit.”
Funny, his dad is trying to be funny. But he really isn’t. Nathan throws himself into the front seat and sighs with a shake of his head when it’s obvious his dad is trying to get a good look at the girls. “Can we go before you absolutely ruin my high school career?”
There’s a quick look as his dad starts the car and easily smiles. “I’d go for the blonde.”
Nathan looks at Jessica and Katie, spending an extra second on the second girl and thinking about how she’d seen his soccer game and even knew he had the game winning goal. She’s a funny girl, athletic, easy going. But she’s not Jessica, isn’t feminine like Jessica, doesn’t make his stomach flip like Jessica does, and she’s such a regular friend-type-of-girl that he can’t believe his dad is bringing it up. Nathan looks forward, not wanting to make it obvious that he’s looking at them. “What d’you know?” he asks, but it comes out lighter than he’d initially intended. “You’ve been with a guy for like ten years.”
His dad ruffles a hand over his hair, as he always does. And it’s annoying, like it always is. “I had your mom, didn’t I? And there were girls before that.”
Nathan pulls his shirt up, the collar hiding half his face so he can stew in the fear of where this discussion could go. “Uh, no, we’re not doing this.”
“Doing what?” he asks with a squeeze at Nathan’s shoulder.
Nathan shrugs from it. “We’re not talking about you having sex with women. It’s bad enough I know you do it with Jensen.”
His dad just laughs a loud, bellowing kind of noise and Nathan does is damnedest to not smile with it.
*
At his game on Saturday, Nathan scores two goals, doing nothing to discourage the idea that he’s one of the best players on the field, even though he’s the only 15-year-old on the varsity squad. He hears his dad - and sometimes Jensen - cheering for him throughout the game. His teammates heartily thump his back and head for each of the goals. And when the game is over, he gets an odd notion when he sees Katie in the stands with a few other girls he’s seen around school. Not ones that are in Jessica’s circle, but they are familiar.
When he meets up with his dad and Jensen, she catches his eye again and Nathan gives a short smile and wave. Which she returns with a simple smile and her own wave. Her fingers clamp down into the symbol for ‘two’ then a thumbs up and goofy grin. Nathan chuckles with a nod before being pulled by his dad’s arm around his neck. “Not too bad, buddy.”
“Yeah, it was a good game,” he returns with an aww-shucks sound to his voice.
Jensen trails behind and offers playfully, “Know when you missed that corner shot? Your ankle was all janky,” and he even lightly kicks at Nathan’s foot.
Nathan laughs and nearly trips under the weight of his father and in trying to avoid Jensen again. “Stop it, guys. C’mon.”
His dad yanks him back close and shakes him. “What’re you afraid of? Gonna embarrass you in front of your girlfriend?”
“Who’s the girlfriend?” Jensen asks with interest.
“There’s no girlfriend,” Nathan huffs.
“It’s the blonde over there. Ponytail and black hoodie,” his dad says to Jensen without caring for Nathan’s insistence.
“She’s not my girlfriend!”
Jensen looks and makes a hmm noise.
“Yeah, she’s cute,” his dad says with a nod.
Nathan’s cheeks flare up and he’s about to say more, but Jensen cuts in with, “Yeah, she is. Looks like a nice girl.”
“Could do a lot worse,” his dad adds.
“Yeah, like one of you,” Nathan huffs and moves away from them and on to the car.
*
During lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Nathan meets with Coach Caruthers to help him inventory gym equipment. It’s not much, but he learned early on that it got him in the soccer coach’s face enough to get an extra dose of attention. He’s pretty sure that attention is part of what got him on varsity. It’s a gift he doesn’t ignore, and only takes advantage of to play as hard as he can.
In the equipment room, he’s on the floor and sorting through netted shirts, putting blues to his left and reds to his right, powered on by his iPod and bopping his head.
He feels the flick at his ear before he sees Katie looming over him, and he flinches and stares up at her. She says something but it’s lost in the driving beats of the music, so she laughs and makes motion of removing the earbuds. He does and frowns. “What’s up?”
“Never saw you as the emo-kid-in-the-closet-case before.”
“I’m not,” he says plainly. “What’re you doing here?”
“Caruthers said you need a hand.”
Nathan looks around. He’s nearly done, pretty much just taking his time to get things in order before heading off to speech. With a shrug, he grabs the blues and hands them over. “They go up top on the left.”
Katie takes them and shuffles to the side, trying to not step on him as she reaches up high, just barely reaching. Nathan’s kind of impressed. Even he thinks it’s a tall shelf and he’s … well, tall, thanks to his dad. He stands to put the reds to the upper left and when he turns back, Katie’s dribbling a basketball.
He moves in to snatch it away with a smirk and dribbles in front of her as they play around, each trying to grab it back. “Since when do you help Caruthers out?”
“Since now.” She’s awkward in her answer, but he figures it’s because they’re not exactly friends. They had biology together freshman year, but didn’t talk much. They joke around with Jessica, but he’s there for Jessica, not to listen to Katie, and she hardly talks about herself anyway.
When she shoots the ball into the garbage can behind him, nothing but rim, he’s surprised, and it comes out in his, “Nice shot,” and smile.
She shrugs. “Got nothing better to do.”
Nathan gets the ball out and starts dribbling again. He bounce-passes it over as he asks, “Shootin’ hoops in the closet?”
Just as easily as before, she shoots the ball in. “I’m not the one hanging in here alone.”
“You are now,” he laughs as he dribbles the ball again and passes it.
“Yeah, but I’m with you,” she shoots back with a smart smile.
Nathan’s distracted watching her shoot and make it once again. “Fair enough.” He passes the ball but she shoots it right back at him this time and moves away from the corner, where a wide basket holds half a dozen volleyballs. He tosses the ball in, and now she’s recovering it and throwing it back to him a few times over. As they go on, he asks carefully, “You close with Jessica?”
Katie shrugs. “I guess. She lives across the street. Her parents give me rides.” He makes a hmm noise that prompts her to ask, “Why?”
“Nothin’,” he says, making an awkward face as he shoots at the volleyballs again. “Don’t really see you two being that good-a friends.”
“Why’s that?”
He shrugs and fights saying it, but does. “You guys aren’t exactly the same.”
“Neither are you.”
Tucking the ball under his arm, Nathan looks at her and catches how she’s the one that’s awkward now. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I dunno,” she says with raised eyebrows, and leans against the basket. Her eyes are glued to her hand trying to palm a volleyball. “You like her, right?”
He flushes, not wanting to admit it, but Katie just might be the best ‘in’ to Jessica that he could ever get. “A lotta people like her,” he finally says as he shoots again.
“You’re not exactly the same type.”
How plainly she says it, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, hits him and he stares. Then he gives her an annoyed glance and is thankful when the bell rings. He pops the ball towards the basket, and Katie easily grabs it before it can fall in. She hops up and sets it right in the middle of the top shelf, nestled among the netted shirts. Nathan’s mouth quirks at that but then he shakes his head and moves through the doorway. “See ya later,” he mutters as he heads down the hallway.
*
A few days pass and Nathan doesn’t see Jessica, or Katie for that matter, after practice. He’s dribbling his soccer ball in the lawn next to the parking lot where Jensen always gets him. Since he’s on his own, he thinks for a second of asking Jensen to come out of the car, maybe play a quick game. They haven’t done that in a long while. Not since before high school soccer started and his life became school, practice, homework, sleep. He’s smiling, just thinking it over, remembering all the hours Jensen played with him as he grew up, playing late into dark evenings with the back lights on, not just being there but challenging and teaching. He knows he wouldn’t be where he is without Jensen and it makes him grin.
Soon enough, Jensen pulls up and is all smiles. “Hey, kiddo.”
Nathan rolls his eyes but smiles, because it’s exactly what Jensen’s been calling him for years. He doesn’t ask about playing, just bats the ball over and Jensen catches on, kicking it right back. They go on for a while and Nathan isn’t lost on the wave of enjoyment they both get here. Jensen has never been anything but supportive with the sport, and he has a feeling it was Jensen’s extra prodding that helped ease the decision of Nathan moving in with his dad so he could go to a better school. Play for a team that was higher ranked and got more attention compared to the one in his mom’s neighborhood, not to mention hope for college scholarships.
He’s smiling madly thinking of it all, and especially so when he cuts a quick path around Jensen - who’s still speedy, even in his forties - and smacks the ball into a nearby makeshift goal.
And then he really beams when he hears, “There’s our soccer star,” and sees Jessica and Katie heading his way.
“Hey there,” he says happily as he drags the ball back and over his toe so he can pop it into the air.
Jessica smiles at the motion and goes as far as to clap for him. “I should really talk to the team and get them to start cheering you on.”
She’s so goddamn pretty right there, in a blue cardigan, long white tank, and short black shorts. And the way she’s smiling at him and goading him with playful tones, he can’t ignore how his stomach turns over and his heart beats a little faster. “I don’t know. You might be a bit of a distraction.”
Jensen chuckles and they all look at him, like he’s only just appeared. Nathan blushes a bit at the thought that Jensen’s watching him flirt, but then Jessica laughs and he’s fairly pleased with the situation.
Her laugh turns into a giggle and she leans into Katie with a shoulder nudge, and he mentally pats himself on the back for that one.
Smirking, Jensen thumbs to the car and leaves them alone. Nathan’s grateful for the moment, even if Jensen’s not all that far away, at least he’s not right there. Just to show off, Nathan starts bumping the ball on his knee, keeping it afloat with constant moves but he’s interrupted when Jessica reaches out for the ball and holds tight. She smiles at him then watches the ball spin within her hands. “You know, Rich Graham’s having people at his lakehouse. A bunch of people are going for the weekend.”
Nathan tries to temper his smile, but the way his cheeks burn tell him he’s not doing a very good job. Rich Graham is captain of the football team - getting invited, especially by Jessica, isn’t something to sneeze at. Surprisingly, his voice comes out rather smooth. “Like a sleepover, huh?”
She laughs and nudges Katie again, which reminds him that she’s there. And quiet. And not looking anywhere near them. “Yeah, something like that. You should come.”
He bites into his lower lip before letting a full smile out. “Yeah, alright, cool. I’ll talk to my dad.”
Jessica nods and hands the ball over with a flip of her hands and smiles slyly. “My mom thinks I’m staying at Katie’s. You should say you’re with her brother.”
Nathan looks at Katie, not missing how she’s rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “My brother’s seven. Doubt that’ll help your cause.”
He smiles at them both and then looks over his shoulder when both the girls are practically staring at Jensen, leaning against the car. His arms are crossed and he’s facing away to not look like he’s eavesdropping, but Nathan has a feeling he is. In the last year and a half of living with the guy, he’s learned that Jensen’s incredibly sneaky. Unlike his dad who is just obvious. And annoying. And embarrassing. In an instant, Nathan’s thankful it’s Jensen that picked him up today.
“Who’s that?” Jessica asks as she stares at the car.
“That’s … uh,” and he stalls, unsure that he wants to say my dad’s boyfriend, not knowing how that would sit with Jessica or Katie. Nathan flushes, from his hair down to his fingers and he’s so nervous. He has no intention to disrespect what Jensen really is in his life, but there’s no way he can say it now. A few steps towards the car and he lamely says, “Family friend. I’ll be there tomorrow.”
It seems to be enough and Jessica waves with flirty fingers as he jogs to Jensen’s car. He’s beaming so hard, body pumping with adrenaline on the invitation but he gets a chill at the stern look on Jensen’s face, not to mention the one high eyebrow.
“What?” Nathan asks when he stops by the passenger door.
Jensen shakes his head and says evenly, “Don’t even think about it.”
“About what?”
He leans against the car, staring at Nathan. “Your little weekend getaway.”
Nathan feels his lungs catch, now knowing Jensen heard it. He looks back to where the girls are walking away, wondering how in the hell he could actually hear it all. Sure, he figured Jensen was trying to, but he didn’t think they were that loud. “It’s just a day thing. I wasn’t gonna stay the night,” he tries to ease. Jensen shakes his head and gets in, starting up the car before Nathan’s got his seat belt on. “What if you dropped me off? Dad would let you do it.”
He snorts and doesn’t respond to any possible scenario Nathan cooks up - including washing both their cars for a month, cooking and cleaning up after dinner, and taking out the trash. “You’re already supposed to take out the trash,” Jensen points out.
Running a hand through his hair, he puts on his most innocent face. “What else can I do? You have no idea how big this is.”
“More like … you don’t how big this isn’t.”
Nathan rolls his eyes at Jensen’s snort, wondering when things changed. Usually Jensen is the easy going one, working his dad over just right to let him do more than would normally be possible. Like staying with them for school, reworking schedules to get him to soccer camps over the years, going for early driving lessons. Nathan tries for begging, turning to Jensen and talking animatedly, pushing his hands everywhere. “Jensen, it’s Jessica Murray. She’s, like, the hottest girl in my class. She asked me to go to the party.”
Jensen shakes his head with a small smile and it cuts Nathan off for a few bitter seconds of trying to argue more. Jensen finally stops him with a simple, “Wait until six, alright?”
“For what?” he asks in a huff.
“Your dad’ll be home then.”
He waits, and they talk. Well, kinda.
“ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE?” Nathan hears Jensen chuckling from the next room and he yells out, “Shut up! You’re not helping!”
His dad makes a noise between a huff and a laugh, and says, “Didn’t know I’d see the day, but Jensen’s right.”
“Oh, my God! It’s not a big deal. Just a bunch of kids hanging out for the day!”
“Yeah, unsupervised. C’mon, Nathan!” his dad yells right back, losing patience for Nathan’s anger. “You think I’m that stupid? I’ve been to those parties.”
Nathan marches to the doorway of the next room and motions between Jensen and his dad. “Will you tell him what this is? That it’s the biggest thing I’m gonna do this year?!”
Jensen shakes his head, trying so hard to not get involved, even when it’s obvious that he’s listening to the whole fight.
“Jessica Murray! If I don’t go - ”
His dad shakes his head with a sigh and smacks his stack of papers on the counter. “It’s not the end of the world. Christ, Nathan. You’re acting like a little kid. It’s not life or death.”
“Yes! Yes it is! It’s life or death for me in high school. I’mma be ostracized.”
Jensen passes through and his one piece of input is, “You really just say ‘Imma be ostracized’?”
“What of it?” he shoots back.
Jensen raises his hands and lets Jared jump in to yell, “Hey! Watch your attitude.”
“Do you even know what I’m going through. Hottest girl in school asked me to a party.”
“Yeah, and?”
“Oh, right, you like dick, you wouldn’t know.”
It stops there. Both Jensen and his dad staring and each cocking their heads to the side. His dad silently closes space between them, seething, and Jensen steps in and pushes him from Nathan.
Nathan shakes, but he’s balling fists in hopes they don’t notice. It slipped out, he wants to tug it back into his mouth, but he’s here and he’s finishing it. Or at least isn’t backing down, because he goes quiet and watches his dad take deep, loud breaths as Jensen keeps pushing him away and murmuring, coaxing him to relax and step back and go to their room. Nathan’s eased by Jensen stepping in; it’s a comforting feeling and one he’s had for a good long time. Jensen’s always alleviated things between him and his dad, wedged himself in and calmed his dad before anything ever got bad. But Nathan will admit that it’s never been this bad. Jensen looks at him, silent and still. Nathan releases a breath and says, “Thank you.”
Jensen walks closer, nearly looking him straight in the eye. He barely has an inch on Nathan and it’s never bothered Nathan before. But he feels like curling into himself because this is worse than his dad yelling at him. Because Jensen’s never, ever reprimanded him, never looked at him like this. “Go to your room.” Nathan’s eyebrows knit together and Jensen adds, “I’ll be there in a minute. Close the door.”
It takes some time for him to accept that that’s all Jensen’s going to say right here, and he finally turns away and heads to his room. He spends a good twenty minutes laid out on his bed, hearing Jensen talking to his dad, but he can’t discern Jensen’s side. On the other hand, he can hear a good amount of things his dad is yelling. Nathan’s being dragged over the coals and his dad sounds bitter at the fact that they took him in and this is how he treats them. It digs into Nathan’s chest, burrows there with pain, and he’s nearly frightened when his bedroom door opens. There’s a small bit of relief that it’s Jensen, but he’s still edgy because Jensen’s obviously not ready to make nice.
Jensen moves toward the bed and crosses his arms. It’s quiet and Nathan gets nervous, sitting up against the headboard and waiting for something to be said. Jensen’s face breaks but it’s not in anger, it’s closer to sadness. “What were you thinking?”
The way the words break, how disappointed Jensen sounds rips into Nathan, and he thinks he’s going to cry. He only drops his head, afraid of what other wrong words could come out.
Jensen shakes his head and his voice is still broken. “We joke around all the time, I know that. But it’s still your dad. And I’m … I’m not your … not your parent, or whatever. But you can’t talk to us like that.”
“I didn’t mean it,” he says quickly. “It just slipped out. I’m sorry. So sorry.”
The eyes are still on Nathan, but they soften for a moment and then Jensen’s shaking his head. He takes a long breath and moves to the door before glancing over his shoulder. “You’re grounded for two weeks.”
“What the fuck?” leaks from his mouth and he clamps it closed instantly, and keeps his mouth shut when he catches Jensen’s angry glare. He’s been grounded before, one day here and there, for missing curfew or not cleaning after himself even when he’s been pestered for far too long to do so. But it’s never gone on during soccer and he panics. “What about soccer?”
“What about a month?”
He feels moisture in his eyes and he wills it away. He pathetically asks, “Soccer?”
Jensen looks away, licking his lips before carefully saying, “I’m picking you up after practice. Right after. No visiting with friends.”
Nathan nods, accepting that it could be way worse and Jensen’s giving him an inch here.
“Stuck to your room. No TV or games.”
His face falls a bit but he nods again. And then he gets downright miserable when Jensen moves to the desk and snatches the iPod. “Wha - ” he starts to whine, but snaps his mouth shut at Jensen’s sharp glare.
The door closing feels and sounds ominous. As does the silence of no TV or music to put him to sleep.
*
He’s woken by quick pounding on his door, and he’s ready to curse it, but figures that based on the fight from the night before, it’s better than a bucket of water or being strangled. When he opens the door, his dad won’t look him in the eye, just grumbles, “S’almost nine.”
“Yeah, okay,” Nathan mumbles, wiping his eyes, and pushing down the pangs of guilt.
After a quick shower and dressing in his normal game-day track pants and a soccer tee, he finds his dad and Jensen in the kitchen. They’re settled around the short end of the L-shaped counter, drinking coffee and going through the paper, like they do on these game days. Nathan is usually up earlier to join them, or they at least get him up for breakfast. But they didn’t, and it stings.
Jensen’s the one to speak, sounding a little tight but not as upset as the night before. “You got your bag ready?”
“Yeah,” Nathan nods while pouring his own glass of orange juice. He wants to ask about breakfast, but won’t dare press his luck. He’s thankful in the car, however, when Jensen hands over a cereal bar. Then confusion takes him when Jensen backs out of the driveway. “What’re we? Isn’t Dad …”
Jensen takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes between the road and the rear view mirrors. “He’ll come later.”
“Shit,” he mumbles before he can think about it and is comforted only slightly that Jensen doesn’t comment on it.
Once the game starts, it’s obvious that Nathan is anything but focused. He mishandles passes, misjudges angles to shoot, and goes scoreless for the first time since his first game on varsity. His nerves that first day seemed to be at their highest, but they’re nothing compared to how out of it he is today. Coach Caruthers pulls him just five minutes into the second half and Nathan spends the rest of the day on the bench, completely aware he has no one to blame but himself.
After packing up his things, he searches the stands for Jensen and his dad, but he only sees Jensen ambling down the stairs. His stomach drops and he stalls from walking any closer.
“Tough game, huh?”
Nathan turns to Katie. She’s frowning in the softest way possible, and he scratches at his hair. “Yeah, just not my day.”
Jensen nears and Nathan looks at him nervously, wondering if Jensen’ll say something about not talking to friends, being grounded, or having to head straight home. Instead, he rests an easy hand at Nathan’s shoulder, says gently, “Bad breaks, buddy.”
He nods and chances a glance at Katie, who now has a soft smile and looks at Jensen to say, “Hi.”
Jensen smiles carefully and nods with a quiet, “Hi there.”
She turns to Nathan and asks, “You going to Rich’s tonight?”
Nathan visibly tenses, flashes a look at Jensen, and is about to answer. But Jensen speaks up. “Nah, we have some family stuff to do,” and his smile is easy enough that it’s convincing.
He stares at Jensen, practically gawking at him, in wonder that Jensen lied and covered up. It definitely eases the pang of regret for not being able to go.
Katie shrugs and gives an awkward smile. “Probably not missing anything, anyway.”
Jensen squeezes at the back of Nathan’s neck with care. Nathan tries to smile but he knows it’s a bad one. And he knows he sounds lame when he says, “Yeah, well, I just feel bad. Jessica invited me and everything.”
“She’ll be fine.”
He nods and glances at Jensen who nods and Nathan knows it’s the signal to leave. “Well, have fun tonight. Tell Jessica I’m sorry.”
She nods in return and Nathan barely waves as he and Jensen head to the car. “Thank you. For that.”
Jensen rings his arm around Nathan’s shoulders. “Yeah, don’t worry.” After a few steps, he says, “You handled it pretty well.”
“Didn’t want her telling everyone I was grounded over it.”
He chuckles and tucks him in a little closer. “Shit happens, Nathan.”
At the car, Nathan turns to him and frowns. “Dad didn’t come.”
Jensen plays with the keys, watching his fingers turn them over. “He’s pretty pissed, ya know?” he says rather easily but he does seem uncomfortable when he looks up.
Not wanting to rehash it, and not wanting Jensen to see how much it hurts to know that he hurt his dad, he gets into the car and looks out the window and stays quiet, until he can’t anymore. “I’m sorry. I just … I really wanted to go. I was pissed when he said no.”
“Yeah, we know.”
Nathan looks over. “How long he gonna be pissed?”
Jensen shrugs and keeps watching traffic. “I don’t know, Nathan.”
“Really wanted to go.” The sigh is loud in the car and Jensen chuckles at him.
“You know, it really isn’t the end of the world.”
“Feels like it.”
“Yeah. Always does.”
*
Monday after practice, he sees Jessica and she’s laughing as she nears him. But it’s different. It’s not flirty, it’s just there. And he’s even more confused when she says, “Man, you missed a good party.”
He tries not to frown, but he knows it happens. “Yeah, I had stuff with my dad.”
“That’s a real shame,” she says, shaking her head, and then she’s gone.
Nathan watches her, practically marching to her own beat. And he’s still watching when Jensen pulls up.
Come Tuesday, he’s smiling with Jessica, but it’s cut short when Jensen shows up, clearing his throat with purpose and catching their attention. “What’s with that?” Jessica asks quietly.
Nathan shakes his head with his mouth in a firm line. “I have to go.”
“Kinda early?”
He rubs a hand down the back of his head and tries to give a happy goodbye, but he knows it’s strangled.
On Wednesday, it’s close to the same thing, but Katie’s there and smiling carefully as Jessica hardly says a thing. And when Jensen’s car pulls up, she makes a quick exit.
Katie waves to Jensen with a smile and offers Nathan, “See ya tomorrow,” with an awkward smile.
Nathan’s silent the whole ride home, grunting in response to any of Jensen’s questions on his day or practice.
When he gets to the house, he slams the door open and stops for only a second when his dad is there, home early, and staring at him. He runs through the living and dining rooms. As he pounds up the stairs, he hears his dad yelling, “Hold on a minute!”
He’s in his room, throwing the backpack across the room and kicking the door shut, but his dad pushes it open. “What?!” Nathan yells at him.
His dad’s eyes are gentle for a second but then go hard. “Don’t you ‘what’ me! What’s your problem?”
“You make me stay home and ground me and now she won’t even talk to me!” Nathan kicks at his bed then shucks off his shoes and throws them into the corner with two loud bangs. “Had one chance and it’s gone!”
He’s shaking his head, but it’s obvious he’s not so mad anymore and he lets Nathan stew and bitch about how he can’t show his face at school anymore, and then he drops next to Nathan on the bed. “Jesus Christ, Nathan. You’re a drama queen.”
Nathan pushes himself up the bed and further away, grunting, “Shut up.”
His dad chuckles and leans forward, elbows to knees, hands twined together. “She won’t talk to you because you didn’t go to one party?”
“It was the party. And she invited me.”
“Nathan, some day, this is gonna be the dumbest thing you ever worried about.”
He crosses his arms tight and rolls his eyes. He wants to complain more, like he was always able to do, but he already feels like he’s pushing it. This is the most his dad has talked to him since Friday’s fight.
“You think maybe if she’s ignoring you after missing one thing that maybe she’s not that great a girl?”
Nathan flashes him his best ‘are you crazy’ face, and thinks Have you seen Jessica Murray?
His dad chuckles at the look and pats his knee as he stands up. “Chill out. Tomorrow’s another day.”
*
Katie shows up to the equipment room and offers help. They’re both terribly awkward, and he goes silent after pointing out that the baseball and softball bats need to be put back, along with all the flag football belts.
She doesn’t push it, but he can see that she keeps looking at him. A few times she asks about soccer, but it all sounds stilted, and he can’t manage a real answer and just mumbles in return.
Nathan shoots her another pissed off look and she shakes her head. Once she has the last yellow flag belt put in its place, she gives a cool, “I gotta get to class,” and leaves before the bell rings.
It pisses him off even more.
Part Two
Rating: R for language
Words: 8,500
Summary: After four weeks of being grounded, Nathan wisens up to what's really going on around him.
Notes: Maaaaaaassive timestamp for A Most Awesome Coach aka soccer!fic. Written for 13chapters under help_haiti. And thanks to neros_violin for looking at a bunch of questionable scenes and assuring me teenage angst is in. Jesus H. Christ. This got unearthly long as I got more excited to tell this story. IDEK what I'm doing, but I kind of love it. NATHAN FTW!
Jessica Murray is hot. She’s also a cheerleader. And if that isn’t enough, she tends to go for skirts and short shorts every day of the week. Her lips are always plump and glossy. The blue of her eyes is crystal clear and never fails to distract any guy in the vicinity. And the way she not-so-subtly tosses her auburn hair is mesmerizing.
She’s the typical all-American girl who seems to be hiding a tiny wild streak, just waiting for it to be dragged out of her. And everyone wants to be the one to do it. Even Nathan. Especially Nathan.
After soccer practice, he spends his wait time talking to Jessica and her friend, Katie Kennedy, joking with them both. Sometimes he gets a kick out of bantering with Katie just to make Jessica laugh, and those moments become the highlights of his entire existence. When her lips spread wide and make way for perfect, bright white teeth.
The car horn doesn’t deter him from continuing his conversation. He knows it’s his dad, knows Jensen has parent-teacher conferences and his dad made arrangements to pick him up at a decent time. But he still keeps going, mocking their science teacher, talking about an upcoming game, or even asking what Jessica’s favorite new song is. Nathan keeps going, keeps their attention and nearly thrives on it, loving how Jessica slyly leans closer to him as they talk and how her eyes seem to brighten as he makes her laugh.
But the horn keeps going and he finally rolls his eyes with a sigh.
“God, like it could be any louder,” Jessica laughs with a tiny huff.
Nathan pales for a second, looks at Katie and catches her careful smile, and then shrugs. “Yeah, whatever. He’s on the rag or something.”
“That’s … wait, you know …”
Katie pipes up easily. “That’s your dad, right?” When Nathan gives an odd glance, she goes on with a comfortable smile. “I saw him at your last game.”
Nathan tries to smile, but he can’t get over how Jessica looks awkward for a moment. Then he thinks about Katie’s comment, going over the fact that the soccer team doesn’t exactly draw big crowds when playing at the same time as football. “You saw the game?”
“Yeah. You had the winning goal in the last two minutes? Best game all year.”
He’s about to respond but he hears the distinct sound of a car door and he has nightmares of his dad coming over to talk to the girls and embarrassing him further. “I gotta go. I’ll catch you all tomorrow?” he says with a smirk as he backs away. They all share a wave, and as Nathan nears his dad, he grumbles. “Couldn’t wait just one more minute?”
His dad is standing, leaning against the open door of the sedan, giving a smart look. “Waited a good five. Six is my limit.”
Funny, his dad is trying to be funny. But he really isn’t. Nathan throws himself into the front seat and sighs with a shake of his head when it’s obvious his dad is trying to get a good look at the girls. “Can we go before you absolutely ruin my high school career?”
There’s a quick look as his dad starts the car and easily smiles. “I’d go for the blonde.”
Nathan looks at Jessica and Katie, spending an extra second on the second girl and thinking about how she’d seen his soccer game and even knew he had the game winning goal. She’s a funny girl, athletic, easy going. But she’s not Jessica, isn’t feminine like Jessica, doesn’t make his stomach flip like Jessica does, and she’s such a regular friend-type-of-girl that he can’t believe his dad is bringing it up. Nathan looks forward, not wanting to make it obvious that he’s looking at them. “What d’you know?” he asks, but it comes out lighter than he’d initially intended. “You’ve been with a guy for like ten years.”
His dad ruffles a hand over his hair, as he always does. And it’s annoying, like it always is. “I had your mom, didn’t I? And there were girls before that.”
Nathan pulls his shirt up, the collar hiding half his face so he can stew in the fear of where this discussion could go. “Uh, no, we’re not doing this.”
“Doing what?” he asks with a squeeze at Nathan’s shoulder.
Nathan shrugs from it. “We’re not talking about you having sex with women. It’s bad enough I know you do it with Jensen.”
His dad just laughs a loud, bellowing kind of noise and Nathan does is damnedest to not smile with it.
*
At his game on Saturday, Nathan scores two goals, doing nothing to discourage the idea that he’s one of the best players on the field, even though he’s the only 15-year-old on the varsity squad. He hears his dad - and sometimes Jensen - cheering for him throughout the game. His teammates heartily thump his back and head for each of the goals. And when the game is over, he gets an odd notion when he sees Katie in the stands with a few other girls he’s seen around school. Not ones that are in Jessica’s circle, but they are familiar.
When he meets up with his dad and Jensen, she catches his eye again and Nathan gives a short smile and wave. Which she returns with a simple smile and her own wave. Her fingers clamp down into the symbol for ‘two’ then a thumbs up and goofy grin. Nathan chuckles with a nod before being pulled by his dad’s arm around his neck. “Not too bad, buddy.”
“Yeah, it was a good game,” he returns with an aww-shucks sound to his voice.
Jensen trails behind and offers playfully, “Know when you missed that corner shot? Your ankle was all janky,” and he even lightly kicks at Nathan’s foot.
Nathan laughs and nearly trips under the weight of his father and in trying to avoid Jensen again. “Stop it, guys. C’mon.”
His dad yanks him back close and shakes him. “What’re you afraid of? Gonna embarrass you in front of your girlfriend?”
“Who’s the girlfriend?” Jensen asks with interest.
“There’s no girlfriend,” Nathan huffs.
“It’s the blonde over there. Ponytail and black hoodie,” his dad says to Jensen without caring for Nathan’s insistence.
“She’s not my girlfriend!”
Jensen looks and makes a hmm noise.
“Yeah, she’s cute,” his dad says with a nod.
Nathan’s cheeks flare up and he’s about to say more, but Jensen cuts in with, “Yeah, she is. Looks like a nice girl.”
“Could do a lot worse,” his dad adds.
“Yeah, like one of you,” Nathan huffs and moves away from them and on to the car.
*
During lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Nathan meets with Coach Caruthers to help him inventory gym equipment. It’s not much, but he learned early on that it got him in the soccer coach’s face enough to get an extra dose of attention. He’s pretty sure that attention is part of what got him on varsity. It’s a gift he doesn’t ignore, and only takes advantage of to play as hard as he can.
In the equipment room, he’s on the floor and sorting through netted shirts, putting blues to his left and reds to his right, powered on by his iPod and bopping his head.
He feels the flick at his ear before he sees Katie looming over him, and he flinches and stares up at her. She says something but it’s lost in the driving beats of the music, so she laughs and makes motion of removing the earbuds. He does and frowns. “What’s up?”
“Never saw you as the emo-kid-in-the-closet-case before.”
“I’m not,” he says plainly. “What’re you doing here?”
“Caruthers said you need a hand.”
Nathan looks around. He’s nearly done, pretty much just taking his time to get things in order before heading off to speech. With a shrug, he grabs the blues and hands them over. “They go up top on the left.”
Katie takes them and shuffles to the side, trying to not step on him as she reaches up high, just barely reaching. Nathan’s kind of impressed. Even he thinks it’s a tall shelf and he’s … well, tall, thanks to his dad. He stands to put the reds to the upper left and when he turns back, Katie’s dribbling a basketball.
He moves in to snatch it away with a smirk and dribbles in front of her as they play around, each trying to grab it back. “Since when do you help Caruthers out?”
“Since now.” She’s awkward in her answer, but he figures it’s because they’re not exactly friends. They had biology together freshman year, but didn’t talk much. They joke around with Jessica, but he’s there for Jessica, not to listen to Katie, and she hardly talks about herself anyway.
When she shoots the ball into the garbage can behind him, nothing but rim, he’s surprised, and it comes out in his, “Nice shot,” and smile.
She shrugs. “Got nothing better to do.”
Nathan gets the ball out and starts dribbling again. He bounce-passes it over as he asks, “Shootin’ hoops in the closet?”
Just as easily as before, she shoots the ball in. “I’m not the one hanging in here alone.”
“You are now,” he laughs as he dribbles the ball again and passes it.
“Yeah, but I’m with you,” she shoots back with a smart smile.
Nathan’s distracted watching her shoot and make it once again. “Fair enough.” He passes the ball but she shoots it right back at him this time and moves away from the corner, where a wide basket holds half a dozen volleyballs. He tosses the ball in, and now she’s recovering it and throwing it back to him a few times over. As they go on, he asks carefully, “You close with Jessica?”
Katie shrugs. “I guess. She lives across the street. Her parents give me rides.” He makes a hmm noise that prompts her to ask, “Why?”
“Nothin’,” he says, making an awkward face as he shoots at the volleyballs again. “Don’t really see you two being that good-a friends.”
“Why’s that?”
He shrugs and fights saying it, but does. “You guys aren’t exactly the same.”
“Neither are you.”
Tucking the ball under his arm, Nathan looks at her and catches how she’s the one that’s awkward now. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I dunno,” she says with raised eyebrows, and leans against the basket. Her eyes are glued to her hand trying to palm a volleyball. “You like her, right?”
He flushes, not wanting to admit it, but Katie just might be the best ‘in’ to Jessica that he could ever get. “A lotta people like her,” he finally says as he shoots again.
“You’re not exactly the same type.”
How plainly she says it, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, hits him and he stares. Then he gives her an annoyed glance and is thankful when the bell rings. He pops the ball towards the basket, and Katie easily grabs it before it can fall in. She hops up and sets it right in the middle of the top shelf, nestled among the netted shirts. Nathan’s mouth quirks at that but then he shakes his head and moves through the doorway. “See ya later,” he mutters as he heads down the hallway.
*
A few days pass and Nathan doesn’t see Jessica, or Katie for that matter, after practice. He’s dribbling his soccer ball in the lawn next to the parking lot where Jensen always gets him. Since he’s on his own, he thinks for a second of asking Jensen to come out of the car, maybe play a quick game. They haven’t done that in a long while. Not since before high school soccer started and his life became school, practice, homework, sleep. He’s smiling, just thinking it over, remembering all the hours Jensen played with him as he grew up, playing late into dark evenings with the back lights on, not just being there but challenging and teaching. He knows he wouldn’t be where he is without Jensen and it makes him grin.
Soon enough, Jensen pulls up and is all smiles. “Hey, kiddo.”
Nathan rolls his eyes but smiles, because it’s exactly what Jensen’s been calling him for years. He doesn’t ask about playing, just bats the ball over and Jensen catches on, kicking it right back. They go on for a while and Nathan isn’t lost on the wave of enjoyment they both get here. Jensen has never been anything but supportive with the sport, and he has a feeling it was Jensen’s extra prodding that helped ease the decision of Nathan moving in with his dad so he could go to a better school. Play for a team that was higher ranked and got more attention compared to the one in his mom’s neighborhood, not to mention hope for college scholarships.
He’s smiling madly thinking of it all, and especially so when he cuts a quick path around Jensen - who’s still speedy, even in his forties - and smacks the ball into a nearby makeshift goal.
And then he really beams when he hears, “There’s our soccer star,” and sees Jessica and Katie heading his way.
“Hey there,” he says happily as he drags the ball back and over his toe so he can pop it into the air.
Jessica smiles at the motion and goes as far as to clap for him. “I should really talk to the team and get them to start cheering you on.”
She’s so goddamn pretty right there, in a blue cardigan, long white tank, and short black shorts. And the way she’s smiling at him and goading him with playful tones, he can’t ignore how his stomach turns over and his heart beats a little faster. “I don’t know. You might be a bit of a distraction.”
Jensen chuckles and they all look at him, like he’s only just appeared. Nathan blushes a bit at the thought that Jensen’s watching him flirt, but then Jessica laughs and he’s fairly pleased with the situation.
Her laugh turns into a giggle and she leans into Katie with a shoulder nudge, and he mentally pats himself on the back for that one.
Smirking, Jensen thumbs to the car and leaves them alone. Nathan’s grateful for the moment, even if Jensen’s not all that far away, at least he’s not right there. Just to show off, Nathan starts bumping the ball on his knee, keeping it afloat with constant moves but he’s interrupted when Jessica reaches out for the ball and holds tight. She smiles at him then watches the ball spin within her hands. “You know, Rich Graham’s having people at his lakehouse. A bunch of people are going for the weekend.”
Nathan tries to temper his smile, but the way his cheeks burn tell him he’s not doing a very good job. Rich Graham is captain of the football team - getting invited, especially by Jessica, isn’t something to sneeze at. Surprisingly, his voice comes out rather smooth. “Like a sleepover, huh?”
She laughs and nudges Katie again, which reminds him that she’s there. And quiet. And not looking anywhere near them. “Yeah, something like that. You should come.”
He bites into his lower lip before letting a full smile out. “Yeah, alright, cool. I’ll talk to my dad.”
Jessica nods and hands the ball over with a flip of her hands and smiles slyly. “My mom thinks I’m staying at Katie’s. You should say you’re with her brother.”
Nathan looks at Katie, not missing how she’s rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “My brother’s seven. Doubt that’ll help your cause.”
He smiles at them both and then looks over his shoulder when both the girls are practically staring at Jensen, leaning against the car. His arms are crossed and he’s facing away to not look like he’s eavesdropping, but Nathan has a feeling he is. In the last year and a half of living with the guy, he’s learned that Jensen’s incredibly sneaky. Unlike his dad who is just obvious. And annoying. And embarrassing. In an instant, Nathan’s thankful it’s Jensen that picked him up today.
“Who’s that?” Jessica asks as she stares at the car.
“That’s … uh,” and he stalls, unsure that he wants to say my dad’s boyfriend, not knowing how that would sit with Jessica or Katie. Nathan flushes, from his hair down to his fingers and he’s so nervous. He has no intention to disrespect what Jensen really is in his life, but there’s no way he can say it now. A few steps towards the car and he lamely says, “Family friend. I’ll be there tomorrow.”
It seems to be enough and Jessica waves with flirty fingers as he jogs to Jensen’s car. He’s beaming so hard, body pumping with adrenaline on the invitation but he gets a chill at the stern look on Jensen’s face, not to mention the one high eyebrow.
“What?” Nathan asks when he stops by the passenger door.
Jensen shakes his head and says evenly, “Don’t even think about it.”
“About what?”
He leans against the car, staring at Nathan. “Your little weekend getaway.”
Nathan feels his lungs catch, now knowing Jensen heard it. He looks back to where the girls are walking away, wondering how in the hell he could actually hear it all. Sure, he figured Jensen was trying to, but he didn’t think they were that loud. “It’s just a day thing. I wasn’t gonna stay the night,” he tries to ease. Jensen shakes his head and gets in, starting up the car before Nathan’s got his seat belt on. “What if you dropped me off? Dad would let you do it.”
He snorts and doesn’t respond to any possible scenario Nathan cooks up - including washing both their cars for a month, cooking and cleaning up after dinner, and taking out the trash. “You’re already supposed to take out the trash,” Jensen points out.
Running a hand through his hair, he puts on his most innocent face. “What else can I do? You have no idea how big this is.”
“More like … you don’t how big this isn’t.”
Nathan rolls his eyes at Jensen’s snort, wondering when things changed. Usually Jensen is the easy going one, working his dad over just right to let him do more than would normally be possible. Like staying with them for school, reworking schedules to get him to soccer camps over the years, going for early driving lessons. Nathan tries for begging, turning to Jensen and talking animatedly, pushing his hands everywhere. “Jensen, it’s Jessica Murray. She’s, like, the hottest girl in my class. She asked me to go to the party.”
Jensen shakes his head with a small smile and it cuts Nathan off for a few bitter seconds of trying to argue more. Jensen finally stops him with a simple, “Wait until six, alright?”
“For what?” he asks in a huff.
“Your dad’ll be home then.”
He waits, and they talk. Well, kinda.
“ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO RUIN MY LIFE?” Nathan hears Jensen chuckling from the next room and he yells out, “Shut up! You’re not helping!”
His dad makes a noise between a huff and a laugh, and says, “Didn’t know I’d see the day, but Jensen’s right.”
“Oh, my God! It’s not a big deal. Just a bunch of kids hanging out for the day!”
“Yeah, unsupervised. C’mon, Nathan!” his dad yells right back, losing patience for Nathan’s anger. “You think I’m that stupid? I’ve been to those parties.”
Nathan marches to the doorway of the next room and motions between Jensen and his dad. “Will you tell him what this is? That it’s the biggest thing I’m gonna do this year?!”
Jensen shakes his head, trying so hard to not get involved, even when it’s obvious that he’s listening to the whole fight.
“Jessica Murray! If I don’t go - ”
His dad shakes his head with a sigh and smacks his stack of papers on the counter. “It’s not the end of the world. Christ, Nathan. You’re acting like a little kid. It’s not life or death.”
“Yes! Yes it is! It’s life or death for me in high school. I’mma be ostracized.”
Jensen passes through and his one piece of input is, “You really just say ‘Imma be ostracized’?”
“What of it?” he shoots back.
Jensen raises his hands and lets Jared jump in to yell, “Hey! Watch your attitude.”
“Do you even know what I’m going through. Hottest girl in school asked me to a party.”
“Yeah, and?”
“Oh, right, you like dick, you wouldn’t know.”
It stops there. Both Jensen and his dad staring and each cocking their heads to the side. His dad silently closes space between them, seething, and Jensen steps in and pushes him from Nathan.
Nathan shakes, but he’s balling fists in hopes they don’t notice. It slipped out, he wants to tug it back into his mouth, but he’s here and he’s finishing it. Or at least isn’t backing down, because he goes quiet and watches his dad take deep, loud breaths as Jensen keeps pushing him away and murmuring, coaxing him to relax and step back and go to their room. Nathan’s eased by Jensen stepping in; it’s a comforting feeling and one he’s had for a good long time. Jensen’s always alleviated things between him and his dad, wedged himself in and calmed his dad before anything ever got bad. But Nathan will admit that it’s never been this bad. Jensen looks at him, silent and still. Nathan releases a breath and says, “Thank you.”
Jensen walks closer, nearly looking him straight in the eye. He barely has an inch on Nathan and it’s never bothered Nathan before. But he feels like curling into himself because this is worse than his dad yelling at him. Because Jensen’s never, ever reprimanded him, never looked at him like this. “Go to your room.” Nathan’s eyebrows knit together and Jensen adds, “I’ll be there in a minute. Close the door.”
It takes some time for him to accept that that’s all Jensen’s going to say right here, and he finally turns away and heads to his room. He spends a good twenty minutes laid out on his bed, hearing Jensen talking to his dad, but he can’t discern Jensen’s side. On the other hand, he can hear a good amount of things his dad is yelling. Nathan’s being dragged over the coals and his dad sounds bitter at the fact that they took him in and this is how he treats them. It digs into Nathan’s chest, burrows there with pain, and he’s nearly frightened when his bedroom door opens. There’s a small bit of relief that it’s Jensen, but he’s still edgy because Jensen’s obviously not ready to make nice.
Jensen moves toward the bed and crosses his arms. It’s quiet and Nathan gets nervous, sitting up against the headboard and waiting for something to be said. Jensen’s face breaks but it’s not in anger, it’s closer to sadness. “What were you thinking?”
The way the words break, how disappointed Jensen sounds rips into Nathan, and he thinks he’s going to cry. He only drops his head, afraid of what other wrong words could come out.
Jensen shakes his head and his voice is still broken. “We joke around all the time, I know that. But it’s still your dad. And I’m … I’m not your … not your parent, or whatever. But you can’t talk to us like that.”
“I didn’t mean it,” he says quickly. “It just slipped out. I’m sorry. So sorry.”
The eyes are still on Nathan, but they soften for a moment and then Jensen’s shaking his head. He takes a long breath and moves to the door before glancing over his shoulder. “You’re grounded for two weeks.”
“What the fuck?” leaks from his mouth and he clamps it closed instantly, and keeps his mouth shut when he catches Jensen’s angry glare. He’s been grounded before, one day here and there, for missing curfew or not cleaning after himself even when he’s been pestered for far too long to do so. But it’s never gone on during soccer and he panics. “What about soccer?”
“What about a month?”
He feels moisture in his eyes and he wills it away. He pathetically asks, “Soccer?”
Jensen looks away, licking his lips before carefully saying, “I’m picking you up after practice. Right after. No visiting with friends.”
Nathan nods, accepting that it could be way worse and Jensen’s giving him an inch here.
“Stuck to your room. No TV or games.”
His face falls a bit but he nods again. And then he gets downright miserable when Jensen moves to the desk and snatches the iPod. “Wha - ” he starts to whine, but snaps his mouth shut at Jensen’s sharp glare.
The door closing feels and sounds ominous. As does the silence of no TV or music to put him to sleep.
*
He’s woken by quick pounding on his door, and he’s ready to curse it, but figures that based on the fight from the night before, it’s better than a bucket of water or being strangled. When he opens the door, his dad won’t look him in the eye, just grumbles, “S’almost nine.”
“Yeah, okay,” Nathan mumbles, wiping his eyes, and pushing down the pangs of guilt.
After a quick shower and dressing in his normal game-day track pants and a soccer tee, he finds his dad and Jensen in the kitchen. They’re settled around the short end of the L-shaped counter, drinking coffee and going through the paper, like they do on these game days. Nathan is usually up earlier to join them, or they at least get him up for breakfast. But they didn’t, and it stings.
Jensen’s the one to speak, sounding a little tight but not as upset as the night before. “You got your bag ready?”
“Yeah,” Nathan nods while pouring his own glass of orange juice. He wants to ask about breakfast, but won’t dare press his luck. He’s thankful in the car, however, when Jensen hands over a cereal bar. Then confusion takes him when Jensen backs out of the driveway. “What’re we? Isn’t Dad …”
Jensen takes a deep breath and keeps his eyes between the road and the rear view mirrors. “He’ll come later.”
“Shit,” he mumbles before he can think about it and is comforted only slightly that Jensen doesn’t comment on it.
Once the game starts, it’s obvious that Nathan is anything but focused. He mishandles passes, misjudges angles to shoot, and goes scoreless for the first time since his first game on varsity. His nerves that first day seemed to be at their highest, but they’re nothing compared to how out of it he is today. Coach Caruthers pulls him just five minutes into the second half and Nathan spends the rest of the day on the bench, completely aware he has no one to blame but himself.
After packing up his things, he searches the stands for Jensen and his dad, but he only sees Jensen ambling down the stairs. His stomach drops and he stalls from walking any closer.
“Tough game, huh?”
Nathan turns to Katie. She’s frowning in the softest way possible, and he scratches at his hair. “Yeah, just not my day.”
Jensen nears and Nathan looks at him nervously, wondering if Jensen’ll say something about not talking to friends, being grounded, or having to head straight home. Instead, he rests an easy hand at Nathan’s shoulder, says gently, “Bad breaks, buddy.”
He nods and chances a glance at Katie, who now has a soft smile and looks at Jensen to say, “Hi.”
Jensen smiles carefully and nods with a quiet, “Hi there.”
She turns to Nathan and asks, “You going to Rich’s tonight?”
Nathan visibly tenses, flashes a look at Jensen, and is about to answer. But Jensen speaks up. “Nah, we have some family stuff to do,” and his smile is easy enough that it’s convincing.
He stares at Jensen, practically gawking at him, in wonder that Jensen lied and covered up. It definitely eases the pang of regret for not being able to go.
Katie shrugs and gives an awkward smile. “Probably not missing anything, anyway.”
Jensen squeezes at the back of Nathan’s neck with care. Nathan tries to smile but he knows it’s a bad one. And he knows he sounds lame when he says, “Yeah, well, I just feel bad. Jessica invited me and everything.”
“She’ll be fine.”
He nods and glances at Jensen who nods and Nathan knows it’s the signal to leave. “Well, have fun tonight. Tell Jessica I’m sorry.”
She nods in return and Nathan barely waves as he and Jensen head to the car. “Thank you. For that.”
Jensen rings his arm around Nathan’s shoulders. “Yeah, don’t worry.” After a few steps, he says, “You handled it pretty well.”
“Didn’t want her telling everyone I was grounded over it.”
He chuckles and tucks him in a little closer. “Shit happens, Nathan.”
At the car, Nathan turns to him and frowns. “Dad didn’t come.”
Jensen plays with the keys, watching his fingers turn them over. “He’s pretty pissed, ya know?” he says rather easily but he does seem uncomfortable when he looks up.
Not wanting to rehash it, and not wanting Jensen to see how much it hurts to know that he hurt his dad, he gets into the car and looks out the window and stays quiet, until he can’t anymore. “I’m sorry. I just … I really wanted to go. I was pissed when he said no.”
“Yeah, we know.”
Nathan looks over. “How long he gonna be pissed?”
Jensen shrugs and keeps watching traffic. “I don’t know, Nathan.”
“Really wanted to go.” The sigh is loud in the car and Jensen chuckles at him.
“You know, it really isn’t the end of the world.”
“Feels like it.”
“Yeah. Always does.”
*
Monday after practice, he sees Jessica and she’s laughing as she nears him. But it’s different. It’s not flirty, it’s just there. And he’s even more confused when she says, “Man, you missed a good party.”
He tries not to frown, but he knows it happens. “Yeah, I had stuff with my dad.”
“That’s a real shame,” she says, shaking her head, and then she’s gone.
Nathan watches her, practically marching to her own beat. And he’s still watching when Jensen pulls up.
Come Tuesday, he’s smiling with Jessica, but it’s cut short when Jensen shows up, clearing his throat with purpose and catching their attention. “What’s with that?” Jessica asks quietly.
Nathan shakes his head with his mouth in a firm line. “I have to go.”
“Kinda early?”
He rubs a hand down the back of his head and tries to give a happy goodbye, but he knows it’s strangled.
On Wednesday, it’s close to the same thing, but Katie’s there and smiling carefully as Jessica hardly says a thing. And when Jensen’s car pulls up, she makes a quick exit.
Katie waves to Jensen with a smile and offers Nathan, “See ya tomorrow,” with an awkward smile.
Nathan’s silent the whole ride home, grunting in response to any of Jensen’s questions on his day or practice.
When he gets to the house, he slams the door open and stops for only a second when his dad is there, home early, and staring at him. He runs through the living and dining rooms. As he pounds up the stairs, he hears his dad yelling, “Hold on a minute!”
He’s in his room, throwing the backpack across the room and kicking the door shut, but his dad pushes it open. “What?!” Nathan yells at him.
His dad’s eyes are gentle for a second but then go hard. “Don’t you ‘what’ me! What’s your problem?”
“You make me stay home and ground me and now she won’t even talk to me!” Nathan kicks at his bed then shucks off his shoes and throws them into the corner with two loud bangs. “Had one chance and it’s gone!”
He’s shaking his head, but it’s obvious he’s not so mad anymore and he lets Nathan stew and bitch about how he can’t show his face at school anymore, and then he drops next to Nathan on the bed. “Jesus Christ, Nathan. You’re a drama queen.”
Nathan pushes himself up the bed and further away, grunting, “Shut up.”
His dad chuckles and leans forward, elbows to knees, hands twined together. “She won’t talk to you because you didn’t go to one party?”
“It was the party. And she invited me.”
“Nathan, some day, this is gonna be the dumbest thing you ever worried about.”
He crosses his arms tight and rolls his eyes. He wants to complain more, like he was always able to do, but he already feels like he’s pushing it. This is the most his dad has talked to him since Friday’s fight.
“You think maybe if she’s ignoring you after missing one thing that maybe she’s not that great a girl?”
Nathan flashes him his best ‘are you crazy’ face, and thinks Have you seen Jessica Murray?
His dad chuckles at the look and pats his knee as he stands up. “Chill out. Tomorrow’s another day.”
*
Katie shows up to the equipment room and offers help. They’re both terribly awkward, and he goes silent after pointing out that the baseball and softball bats need to be put back, along with all the flag football belts.
She doesn’t push it, but he can see that she keeps looking at him. A few times she asks about soccer, but it all sounds stilted, and he can’t manage a real answer and just mumbles in return.
Nathan shoots her another pissed off look and she shakes her head. Once she has the last yellow flag belt put in its place, she gives a cool, “I gotta get to class,” and leaves before the bell rings.
It pisses him off even more.
Part Two