NC-17 | Baby Come Around, Keep on Comin' Around
Title: Baby Come Around, Keep on Comin' Around
Rating: um, hard R, Light NC-17? Things of the sexual variety but not real graphic
Words: 3,200
Summary: After that one day in the bathroom, they only see each other at lunchtime. Jensen wants more.
Notes: Title from Marc Broussard's "Come Around." For logans_mom00 who so lovingly donated through help_haiti for fic. It's the sequel to this, which was the Texts From Last Night fic where Jensen unplugs Jared's alarm, Jared pisses on his clothes, they bitch at each other a bunch, and then Jared fucks him against the wall. Hee.
Beta: Thanks to itskaylie for the semi-quick turnaround :-P
Over the past five weeks, Jensen has perfected the lunchtime ride from his office to the apartment to an average of nine minutes. In the beginning he raced the clock to make sure there was enough time between his arrival and departure to still get back to work on time. Now he thrives on the speed just to get there faster. For something he’s never expected to deal with, and he’s still not even sure how to.
He’s beaming when he steps inside because, today, it’s more like seven and a half. And Jared’s already in the kitchen, downing a glass of water. But not for long because Jensen stalks over, pulls it away, and shoves him into the counter. He ignores Jared’s complaints, his groans of pain. Though he does smile when they turn into groans of another variety and they’re kissing messily with hands spreading over clothes, yanking, unfastening, and disrobing.
And when Jared has him in hand and starts stroking, he’s thanking whoever up above gave him that green light at Sixth.
*
When Jensen gets home in the evening, Jared’s never there. It’s troubling, but he’s gotten used to the routine.
Steve’s around; microwaving some mess of mismatched foods, snarking on whatever happened at work that day, and not commenting on Jared’s sudden disappearance.
Jensen tells himself he doesn’t care, because he gets Jared at lunchtime. The best time.
*
One day, Jared bites particularly hard and leaves a mark. Jensen kind of likes it: thinks of it as proof that he and Jared are fucking even if they don’t do anything but. Proof that Jared exists, even if everything in the apartment says otherwise.
The guy’s room stays shut all day long. He’s up early to run, showers, and rushes out the door before Jensen even rises for work. He’s never around on the weekends, usually comes home later than Jensen can manage to stay up. If it weren’t for the daily blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, and fucking, Jensen would begin to think Jared didn’t live there anymore. It’s a little disturbing.
But he doesn’t ask because it’s seriously the best sex he’s had. Ever. And if he’s learned anything in his 31 years of living, it’s that beggars can’t be choosers.
Jensen just keeps going with Jared and when the guy sucks on that blemish on his neck, Jensen’s body thrills with it: going hot then cold and hot again. He’s so hard it’s nearly painful, but he pulls on Jared’s hips, drags their dicks together. He grins at way Jared’s mouth breaks open against his skin, and at how he can feel Jared moan against him as they start moving together, faster, insistent.
Yeah, Jensen’s not going to ask.
*
Jensen’s had a shit week at work, and he’s dying with the noose around his neck as he walks through the door well past seven. His hands can’t loosen the tie fast enough.
Steve is insisting everyone’s hitting the bar that night. Jensen groans, mumbles his tired refusal, and lands face first in bed. There’s no way he can manage anything but sleep at this moment.
Then he smiles, because as he breathes, he can smell Jared in his sheets. And he can remember how just hours earlier, he had Jared scrambling, rumbling with want but seemingly scarred in such a good way at how Jensen’s tongue had assaulted his dick.
Next he knows, the room’s pitch black and he’s still in his suit, tie around his neck, and even the shoes are still in place. He grumbles and rolls over, trying to get out of his jacket, but it’s useless because he doesn’t really want to move.
Twenty minutes later and he realizes his impromptu nap was enough to refresh him and there’s likely no hope to fall back asleep.
Another two minutes and his phone beeps from within his pants pocket with a slew of texts from Steve and Chris and Aldis, all begging him to join them. From not being able to fall back to sleep and receiving another three harassing texts, he realizes one thing. Resistance is futile, and he changes.
*
His first stop is the bar, and it’s an absolute beeline. He downs half the Corona before he takes a breath because among the crowd in their corner of the place, where his friends and many others are, sits one Jared Padalecki.
Jensen takes in the group again, catches Jared’s eye for half a second and then turns and guzzles the rest of his beer before ordering another.
And a shot.
It’s after that, that he can muster the courage to head over there. Not even sure why he’s nervous. It’s not unrealistic for him to be there with his friends. Jared’s just Steve’s old coworker; there’s no reason why he has dibs over Jensen.
“Hey,” Jensen offers up to Jared, so casual it’s actually quite obvious how hard he’s trying.
“Hey.”
Jensen nods as he takes a large gulp of beer.
Jared looks the other way.
“You fucker!” In an instant, Jensen’s covered in sloppy, sweaty Chris, and has his voice obnoxiously yelling in his ear. “Where the fuck you been all night?!”
Jensen laughs uncomfortably as he extracts himself. “Had shit to do.”
“That shithead sacked. Out,” Steve adds with a loud snore, joining the conversation and Jensen’s space, pulling in close on the otherside and edging Jared away from the whole thing.
He elbows Steve away with a grumbled, “Dude, space.”
“Hey, what’s that?” Chris asks and then pokes into Jensen’s neck.
“Ohh,” Steve laughs. “You getting’ ass and keepin’ mum?”
Jensen flinches away from the finger, which keeps poking at the mark Jared left three days ago. It’s a shock from the hickey down into his belly with the memory, but then he’s steadying his brain and curling an eyebrow. “What d’you care?”
Chris cuts in. “That why you blowin’ me off for lunch now? No more of my fried steak. Just tube steak? Fat sausage? Manbeef?”
His eyes flicker to Jared, and he’s actually surprised to find him watching the whole exchange. More surprising are the steady eyes that stare at Chris and Steve each until Jared rolls them and moves away.
*
Jensen is stuck in Chris’s diatribe about the restaurant business. Everyone in their group is good and drunk with dozens of bottles littering the area. But Chris really takes the cake. Or the case, as it were.
“You know how much they actually charge for strawberries? It’s fucking brutal. You’d think there was a shortage or something.”
“Shit’s not in season,” Steve drops in.
Jensen’s not even caring to contribute. At this point, quite a few beers and a couple more shots in, he’s more interested in tracking Jared’s movements to the bar. Jared’s finishing his beer while waiting for the bartender’s attention, and Jensen’s about ten times more interested in that than anything else so far.
Jared turns slightly and Jensen knows he’s caught. Knows it by the tiny smile at the edge of Jared’s lips that can’t be hidden when he drinks from his bottle. When Jensen looks again, he’s still watching. And Jensen feels it from his toes up to his head, especially as he heads over.
Jensen puts his empty on the bar and tosses a quick glance at Jared, who’s still smirking. And then Jensen is, too, when Jared orders him a beer as well.
But he flinches when Jared’s thumb grazes Jensen’s neck, grazes Jared’s mark, his brain corrects, and he relaxes at the small touch. “That looks pretty bad,” Jared says with a low chuckle.
He reaches up to rub at the spot and hides a tiny smile. “It felt pretty good. If that’s any consolation.”
“Pretty big consolation,” Jared returns as he hands Jensen’s beer over and then he’s going back to the group.
*
Jensen’s on his back in bed, staring at the blank ceiling, cursing himself for even bothering with going out because all it’s gotten him is a hard-on the strength of a cement block, and nothing to do but take care of it himself.
As he strokes himself, he curses Jared. For being there, for watching him, for egging it all on with touching him in public. For not coming home and finishing what he started.
He imagines how Jared can take him whole. That wide mouth and deep, wet cavern surrounding him as Jared blows him.
He thinks about Jared’s long dick pounding his ass. The large hands holding him in place as he gives it to Jensen, makes him take it.
Then he’s mesmerized with the memories of fingering Jared open, pushing in and up as Jared squirms, until he surrenders and practically begs for Jensen to just fuck him.
With Jared broken and pleading in his ears, Jensen rises a few inches from the mattress, runs his fist for a few quick pumps, and then he comes, painting his own chest. He wishes for a moment that it were Jared’s.
*
That next Monday, the smart thing would be to not go home for lunch. But, well, Jensen’s not always smart.
So he finds Jared, yet again, and they have sex in his room. This time, the come on his body is Jared’s.
*
Tuesday, it happens again, but this time, Jared collapses beside him, bits of body touching, and he’s not moving away like he normally does. He just stays there and then his hand rests at Jensen’s hip and pats.
Jensen’s huh sounds more like a hmm and Jared smirks, “Right?”
He doesn’t respond but with a smile, and he considers this progress.
*
For the next few Fridays, everyone goes out. Even Jensen, and Jared, too.
Each time, it goes on much the same. Lots and lots of liquor. Even more harassment from Chris. Why don’t you come by the restaurant anymore? You can bring your cockfriend. Taunting from Steve. How’s Captain Stabbin’ doing? And lots of leers from Jared.
That are returned and appreciated and smiled at.
One night, Jared drops a few fingers across Jensen’s back when they’re standing close, even when they’re not in the same conversation. But they withdraw the minute Steve steps up and all but begs Jensen to reveal the identity of his new “dick partner.”
Jensen can sense Jared turning away and he pushes Steve away.
Jared doesn’t last much longer, leaving with little excuse to anyone, and Jensen goes home alone. And finishes himself. And drunkenly sighs while thinking of Jared.
Yet again.
*
For the first few days of the new week, Jensen finds post-its in his room. All from Jared, all excusing him from being there. Jared’s got a new schedule, and Jensen tells himself he understands, but his brain says differently, and he finally makes it to Chris’s restaurant.
*
At the bar, he’s not shocked that Jared’s not there. But he is when the guy shows up close to last call, already drunk out of his mind, swaying, trailing a bunch of people he knows Jared hangs out with.
Even more shocking is when Jared crowds him at the bar, breathy and low with, “You mad at me?”
Jensen looks for a second with furrowed eyebrows then turns back to the bartender to order. “No. I thought. You had … had the new schedule.” Even Jensen knows how lame he sounds when he says it, knows Jared doesn’t believe that he believes it either.
“I was there yesterday.”
His eyes can’t find Jared’s fast enough and they course his whole face. Jared’s drunk, that’s for sure, but he’s also looking a little wounded. “I thought you didn’t want … thought you were stopping it.”
Jared slips just an inch or so closer, but Jensen feels it like the world is turning and he’s dizzy. “I really did have to work over lunch. I wanted to be there.” Jared turns his head enough to slide closer and nose Jensen’s cheek. It’s alarming in public, but Jensen’s sure that no one can see them from this angle, and he’s suddenly thankful for the fact that his friends hole themselves up in the far corner every week. “Know how hard it is to work when … when you’re hard?”
“Oh, fuck,” Jensen murmurs. He feels it all stir up, and wonders how quick he could go right now, with Jared in his ear and talking like that after having not touched each other for a week.
Jared pulls back to look at Jensen and he looks concerned, even his voice is, and the quick switch jostles Jensen. “I didn’t mean to … I’m sorry. If you thought I was … that I was avoiding it.”
He doesn’t know what to say and instead turns to the bar for his beer, drinking it to quickly wet his suddenly dry throat.
“Shit, Jensen, you know.”
With a shake of his head, Jensen swallows hard. “No, what?”
Jared’s face shows all the struggle to admit to it, but the words tumble quickly. “I like you. For a while. Since before … you know.”
He thinks he’s going to faint. Between all the shots and beer he’s inhaled, and now Jared in his space and saying these things, he can’t take it. “You’re shitting me.”
There’s a short laugh. “No, Jensen.”
He finally manages to ask what he’s always wondered. “Why’re you always gone?”
Suddenly, Steve and Chris are attacking Jensen, pulling on his shoulder and head, laughing hysterically. And Steve shouts, “You gettin’ the last round, right?”
Jared nearly frowns, but he distinctly nods at the guys and says, “That,” and leaves.
*
Monday, Jensen has a plan. He’s not sure it’s a good one, but it’s what he feels he has to do.
When he opens the door, he smiles at Jared. It’s not a predatory or harsh smirk like it normally is. It’s small and almost secret. “Hey,” he says, not even sure where to start.
Jared seems to sense the change in mood and he does the same: small smile, quiet Hey in return.
Jensen takes off his jacket but makes a show of putting it on the back of the couch then leaning against it. “I think we should, that maybe,” he starts fumbling, but then he rights himself. Tells himself it’s like a business meeting. Present his side and be prepared to counter any disagreements. Jensen crosses his arms and looks just beyond Jared’s head to a spot on the wall. “We should probably talk. About Friday.”
Jared stares for a moment then turns to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. “Yeah, no. That’s … I mean, it wasn’t a big deal. Whatever,” he rambles on. “I didn’t mean, like, anything crazy. Just, you know, I wasn’t ditching you. I don’t really wanna stop this,” and he ends with a smirk that seems tenser than Jensen is at the moment. “Sex is good. You know.”
He swallows and shifts, tightening his arms at his chest. “I don’t mean like that. I mean that, when you said that? I was shocked because - ”
“No, dude, I didn’t mean that. It’s fine. I’m not like pining or anything.”
Jensen’s eyebrows go high and he’s not sure if Jared knows how obvious it is that he’s lying.
“You’re a good looking guy and I just meant I liked doing this, and, you know, that’s it. I’m fine.”
He waits for Jared to stop and they’re watching each other for a while. Jared starts to head to the bedroom but Jensen stops him when he says, “I was shocked because I like you.”
Jared turns back and stares. “Shut the fuck up.”
Jensen chuckles and rubs at his forehead. “Nah. I just … I never asked before because it was already a weird situation. And you’re never here.”
He nods and gives a short, “Yeah.”
“Why’re you never here?”
Jared seems guilty as he looks away and then up to the ceiling. He heaves a long sigh and sounds just as bad as he looks. “No offense?” Jensen raises his hands in agreement. “Your friends are dicks.”
Jensen snorts. “You live with one of them.”
“Yeah, and he’s a dick.” Jared laughs nervously. “I mean, whatever, you get … something out of it. But, think about it. Every time at the bar? They’re like jumping on you and harassing you. I don’t exactly want to be on that end of things, too.”
Jensen thinks about it, and yeah, he kind of hates that about his friends. But he also has some really great times with them - both sober and not.
“Jensen, I’m sorry. I just. I don’t like hearing them give you shit, I don’t really wanna hear it, too. So, I just stay away.”
“No. Right. I know,” Jensen returns lamely. He’s not sure where to really go with this, but then he’s alarmed when Jared’s in the living room again and grabbing his own jacket, tugging it on, and frowning. “Wait, where’re you going?”
His mouth twitches between a careful smile and a frown. “Stay here any longer and I’ll probably end up being late.”
Jensen notes that it’s nearly 12:45, close to him having to leave, too. And it sucks that Jared’s already gone and they hadn’t even gotten to any of the good stuff. But the fact that they’ve actually talked seems to be pretty good.
*
That night, he’s nervous as hell, but he leaves a note on Jared’s desk.
He doesn’t think it’s a big thing to look into his own place. He’d been considering it for a while, had just been saving money by splitting rent three ways.
He falls asleep as he’s nearly convinced himself it has nothing to do with Jared.
*
It’s 12:17am when his door creaks and his bed bends, and Jared’s right there.
“You really moving?”
He snuffs out a breath and cracks his eyes open. “Thinkin’ it.”
“Really?”
“Better late than never,” he mumbles. Jared’s eyes are shining but his mouth is twisted, and Jensen groans, because he’s not even sure how to respond to Jared’s cautious gaze. “Don’t get too excited.”
“You sound hot all sleepy.” Jared smirks and Jensen rolls his eyes closed. “Hey,” he says gently as he moves closer, face just before Jensen’s. When Jensen opens his eyes, Jared’s hovering and softly smiles. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Jensen returns much the same way.
Jared’s eyes are roaming for a bit, taking in all of Jensen’s face and then he says, “You wanna do this?”
Jensen’s not sure that he’s not actually dreaming this, but he figures he can go along with the vision for a bit, and smiles back. “Yeah, I do.”
The kiss is slow, and almost alarming because it never has been before. He’s used to Jared’s frantic kisses, but he wants to get used to this one, too.
It’s sex for the first time in ten days, and Jensen’s not ashamed that he’d counted, because it’s lazy and takes time, and when he comes, Jared’s mouth is on his, swallowing his quiet moans, and it feels pretty damned good.
And when they rest back in bed, Jared alongside him to sleep and not rushing off to his room, Jensen completely forgets about all his pathetic wanting. Because now he has.
Rating: um, hard R, Light NC-17? Things of the sexual variety but not real graphic
Words: 3,200
Summary: After that one day in the bathroom, they only see each other at lunchtime. Jensen wants more.
Notes: Title from Marc Broussard's "Come Around." For logans_mom00 who so lovingly donated through help_haiti for fic. It's the sequel to this, which was the Texts From Last Night fic where Jensen unplugs Jared's alarm, Jared pisses on his clothes, they bitch at each other a bunch, and then Jared fucks him against the wall. Hee.
Beta: Thanks to itskaylie for the semi-quick turnaround :-P
Over the past five weeks, Jensen has perfected the lunchtime ride from his office to the apartment to an average of nine minutes. In the beginning he raced the clock to make sure there was enough time between his arrival and departure to still get back to work on time. Now he thrives on the speed just to get there faster. For something he’s never expected to deal with, and he’s still not even sure how to.
He’s beaming when he steps inside because, today, it’s more like seven and a half. And Jared’s already in the kitchen, downing a glass of water. But not for long because Jensen stalks over, pulls it away, and shoves him into the counter. He ignores Jared’s complaints, his groans of pain. Though he does smile when they turn into groans of another variety and they’re kissing messily with hands spreading over clothes, yanking, unfastening, and disrobing.
And when Jared has him in hand and starts stroking, he’s thanking whoever up above gave him that green light at Sixth.
*
When Jensen gets home in the evening, Jared’s never there. It’s troubling, but he’s gotten used to the routine.
Steve’s around; microwaving some mess of mismatched foods, snarking on whatever happened at work that day, and not commenting on Jared’s sudden disappearance.
Jensen tells himself he doesn’t care, because he gets Jared at lunchtime. The best time.
*
One day, Jared bites particularly hard and leaves a mark. Jensen kind of likes it: thinks of it as proof that he and Jared are fucking even if they don’t do anything but. Proof that Jared exists, even if everything in the apartment says otherwise.
The guy’s room stays shut all day long. He’s up early to run, showers, and rushes out the door before Jensen even rises for work. He’s never around on the weekends, usually comes home later than Jensen can manage to stay up. If it weren’t for the daily blowjobs, handjobs, fingering, and fucking, Jensen would begin to think Jared didn’t live there anymore. It’s a little disturbing.
But he doesn’t ask because it’s seriously the best sex he’s had. Ever. And if he’s learned anything in his 31 years of living, it’s that beggars can’t be choosers.
Jensen just keeps going with Jared and when the guy sucks on that blemish on his neck, Jensen’s body thrills with it: going hot then cold and hot again. He’s so hard it’s nearly painful, but he pulls on Jared’s hips, drags their dicks together. He grins at way Jared’s mouth breaks open against his skin, and at how he can feel Jared moan against him as they start moving together, faster, insistent.
Yeah, Jensen’s not going to ask.
*
Jensen’s had a shit week at work, and he’s dying with the noose around his neck as he walks through the door well past seven. His hands can’t loosen the tie fast enough.
Steve is insisting everyone’s hitting the bar that night. Jensen groans, mumbles his tired refusal, and lands face first in bed. There’s no way he can manage anything but sleep at this moment.
Then he smiles, because as he breathes, he can smell Jared in his sheets. And he can remember how just hours earlier, he had Jared scrambling, rumbling with want but seemingly scarred in such a good way at how Jensen’s tongue had assaulted his dick.
Next he knows, the room’s pitch black and he’s still in his suit, tie around his neck, and even the shoes are still in place. He grumbles and rolls over, trying to get out of his jacket, but it’s useless because he doesn’t really want to move.
Twenty minutes later and he realizes his impromptu nap was enough to refresh him and there’s likely no hope to fall back asleep.
Another two minutes and his phone beeps from within his pants pocket with a slew of texts from Steve and Chris and Aldis, all begging him to join them. From not being able to fall back to sleep and receiving another three harassing texts, he realizes one thing. Resistance is futile, and he changes.
*
His first stop is the bar, and it’s an absolute beeline. He downs half the Corona before he takes a breath because among the crowd in their corner of the place, where his friends and many others are, sits one Jared Padalecki.
Jensen takes in the group again, catches Jared’s eye for half a second and then turns and guzzles the rest of his beer before ordering another.
And a shot.
It’s after that, that he can muster the courage to head over there. Not even sure why he’s nervous. It’s not unrealistic for him to be there with his friends. Jared’s just Steve’s old coworker; there’s no reason why he has dibs over Jensen.
“Hey,” Jensen offers up to Jared, so casual it’s actually quite obvious how hard he’s trying.
“Hey.”
Jensen nods as he takes a large gulp of beer.
Jared looks the other way.
“You fucker!” In an instant, Jensen’s covered in sloppy, sweaty Chris, and has his voice obnoxiously yelling in his ear. “Where the fuck you been all night?!”
Jensen laughs uncomfortably as he extracts himself. “Had shit to do.”
“That shithead sacked. Out,” Steve adds with a loud snore, joining the conversation and Jensen’s space, pulling in close on the otherside and edging Jared away from the whole thing.
He elbows Steve away with a grumbled, “Dude, space.”
“Hey, what’s that?” Chris asks and then pokes into Jensen’s neck.
“Ohh,” Steve laughs. “You getting’ ass and keepin’ mum?”
Jensen flinches away from the finger, which keeps poking at the mark Jared left three days ago. It’s a shock from the hickey down into his belly with the memory, but then he’s steadying his brain and curling an eyebrow. “What d’you care?”
Chris cuts in. “That why you blowin’ me off for lunch now? No more of my fried steak. Just tube steak? Fat sausage? Manbeef?”
His eyes flicker to Jared, and he’s actually surprised to find him watching the whole exchange. More surprising are the steady eyes that stare at Chris and Steve each until Jared rolls them and moves away.
*
Jensen is stuck in Chris’s diatribe about the restaurant business. Everyone in their group is good and drunk with dozens of bottles littering the area. But Chris really takes the cake. Or the case, as it were.
“You know how much they actually charge for strawberries? It’s fucking brutal. You’d think there was a shortage or something.”
“Shit’s not in season,” Steve drops in.
Jensen’s not even caring to contribute. At this point, quite a few beers and a couple more shots in, he’s more interested in tracking Jared’s movements to the bar. Jared’s finishing his beer while waiting for the bartender’s attention, and Jensen’s about ten times more interested in that than anything else so far.
Jared turns slightly and Jensen knows he’s caught. Knows it by the tiny smile at the edge of Jared’s lips that can’t be hidden when he drinks from his bottle. When Jensen looks again, he’s still watching. And Jensen feels it from his toes up to his head, especially as he heads over.
Jensen puts his empty on the bar and tosses a quick glance at Jared, who’s still smirking. And then Jensen is, too, when Jared orders him a beer as well.
But he flinches when Jared’s thumb grazes Jensen’s neck, grazes Jared’s mark, his brain corrects, and he relaxes at the small touch. “That looks pretty bad,” Jared says with a low chuckle.
He reaches up to rub at the spot and hides a tiny smile. “It felt pretty good. If that’s any consolation.”
“Pretty big consolation,” Jared returns as he hands Jensen’s beer over and then he’s going back to the group.
*
Jensen’s on his back in bed, staring at the blank ceiling, cursing himself for even bothering with going out because all it’s gotten him is a hard-on the strength of a cement block, and nothing to do but take care of it himself.
As he strokes himself, he curses Jared. For being there, for watching him, for egging it all on with touching him in public. For not coming home and finishing what he started.
He imagines how Jared can take him whole. That wide mouth and deep, wet cavern surrounding him as Jared blows him.
He thinks about Jared’s long dick pounding his ass. The large hands holding him in place as he gives it to Jensen, makes him take it.
Then he’s mesmerized with the memories of fingering Jared open, pushing in and up as Jared squirms, until he surrenders and practically begs for Jensen to just fuck him.
With Jared broken and pleading in his ears, Jensen rises a few inches from the mattress, runs his fist for a few quick pumps, and then he comes, painting his own chest. He wishes for a moment that it were Jared’s.
*
That next Monday, the smart thing would be to not go home for lunch. But, well, Jensen’s not always smart.
So he finds Jared, yet again, and they have sex in his room. This time, the come on his body is Jared’s.
*
Tuesday, it happens again, but this time, Jared collapses beside him, bits of body touching, and he’s not moving away like he normally does. He just stays there and then his hand rests at Jensen’s hip and pats.
Jensen’s huh sounds more like a hmm and Jared smirks, “Right?”
He doesn’t respond but with a smile, and he considers this progress.
*
For the next few Fridays, everyone goes out. Even Jensen, and Jared, too.
Each time, it goes on much the same. Lots and lots of liquor. Even more harassment from Chris. Why don’t you come by the restaurant anymore? You can bring your cockfriend. Taunting from Steve. How’s Captain Stabbin’ doing? And lots of leers from Jared.
That are returned and appreciated and smiled at.
One night, Jared drops a few fingers across Jensen’s back when they’re standing close, even when they’re not in the same conversation. But they withdraw the minute Steve steps up and all but begs Jensen to reveal the identity of his new “dick partner.”
Jensen can sense Jared turning away and he pushes Steve away.
Jared doesn’t last much longer, leaving with little excuse to anyone, and Jensen goes home alone. And finishes himself. And drunkenly sighs while thinking of Jared.
Yet again.
*
For the first few days of the new week, Jensen finds post-its in his room. All from Jared, all excusing him from being there. Jared’s got a new schedule, and Jensen tells himself he understands, but his brain says differently, and he finally makes it to Chris’s restaurant.
*
At the bar, he’s not shocked that Jared’s not there. But he is when the guy shows up close to last call, already drunk out of his mind, swaying, trailing a bunch of people he knows Jared hangs out with.
Even more shocking is when Jared crowds him at the bar, breathy and low with, “You mad at me?”
Jensen looks for a second with furrowed eyebrows then turns back to the bartender to order. “No. I thought. You had … had the new schedule.” Even Jensen knows how lame he sounds when he says it, knows Jared doesn’t believe that he believes it either.
“I was there yesterday.”
His eyes can’t find Jared’s fast enough and they course his whole face. Jared’s drunk, that’s for sure, but he’s also looking a little wounded. “I thought you didn’t want … thought you were stopping it.”
Jared slips just an inch or so closer, but Jensen feels it like the world is turning and he’s dizzy. “I really did have to work over lunch. I wanted to be there.” Jared turns his head enough to slide closer and nose Jensen’s cheek. It’s alarming in public, but Jensen’s sure that no one can see them from this angle, and he’s suddenly thankful for the fact that his friends hole themselves up in the far corner every week. “Know how hard it is to work when … when you’re hard?”
“Oh, fuck,” Jensen murmurs. He feels it all stir up, and wonders how quick he could go right now, with Jared in his ear and talking like that after having not touched each other for a week.
Jared pulls back to look at Jensen and he looks concerned, even his voice is, and the quick switch jostles Jensen. “I didn’t mean to … I’m sorry. If you thought I was … that I was avoiding it.”
He doesn’t know what to say and instead turns to the bar for his beer, drinking it to quickly wet his suddenly dry throat.
“Shit, Jensen, you know.”
With a shake of his head, Jensen swallows hard. “No, what?”
Jared’s face shows all the struggle to admit to it, but the words tumble quickly. “I like you. For a while. Since before … you know.”
He thinks he’s going to faint. Between all the shots and beer he’s inhaled, and now Jared in his space and saying these things, he can’t take it. “You’re shitting me.”
There’s a short laugh. “No, Jensen.”
He finally manages to ask what he’s always wondered. “Why’re you always gone?”
Suddenly, Steve and Chris are attacking Jensen, pulling on his shoulder and head, laughing hysterically. And Steve shouts, “You gettin’ the last round, right?”
Jared nearly frowns, but he distinctly nods at the guys and says, “That,” and leaves.
*
Monday, Jensen has a plan. He’s not sure it’s a good one, but it’s what he feels he has to do.
When he opens the door, he smiles at Jared. It’s not a predatory or harsh smirk like it normally is. It’s small and almost secret. “Hey,” he says, not even sure where to start.
Jared seems to sense the change in mood and he does the same: small smile, quiet Hey in return.
Jensen takes off his jacket but makes a show of putting it on the back of the couch then leaning against it. “I think we should, that maybe,” he starts fumbling, but then he rights himself. Tells himself it’s like a business meeting. Present his side and be prepared to counter any disagreements. Jensen crosses his arms and looks just beyond Jared’s head to a spot on the wall. “We should probably talk. About Friday.”
Jared stares for a moment then turns to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. “Yeah, no. That’s … I mean, it wasn’t a big deal. Whatever,” he rambles on. “I didn’t mean, like, anything crazy. Just, you know, I wasn’t ditching you. I don’t really wanna stop this,” and he ends with a smirk that seems tenser than Jensen is at the moment. “Sex is good. You know.”
He swallows and shifts, tightening his arms at his chest. “I don’t mean like that. I mean that, when you said that? I was shocked because - ”
“No, dude, I didn’t mean that. It’s fine. I’m not like pining or anything.”
Jensen’s eyebrows go high and he’s not sure if Jared knows how obvious it is that he’s lying.
“You’re a good looking guy and I just meant I liked doing this, and, you know, that’s it. I’m fine.”
He waits for Jared to stop and they’re watching each other for a while. Jared starts to head to the bedroom but Jensen stops him when he says, “I was shocked because I like you.”
Jared turns back and stares. “Shut the fuck up.”
Jensen chuckles and rubs at his forehead. “Nah. I just … I never asked before because it was already a weird situation. And you’re never here.”
He nods and gives a short, “Yeah.”
“Why’re you never here?”
Jared seems guilty as he looks away and then up to the ceiling. He heaves a long sigh and sounds just as bad as he looks. “No offense?” Jensen raises his hands in agreement. “Your friends are dicks.”
Jensen snorts. “You live with one of them.”
“Yeah, and he’s a dick.” Jared laughs nervously. “I mean, whatever, you get … something out of it. But, think about it. Every time at the bar? They’re like jumping on you and harassing you. I don’t exactly want to be on that end of things, too.”
Jensen thinks about it, and yeah, he kind of hates that about his friends. But he also has some really great times with them - both sober and not.
“Jensen, I’m sorry. I just. I don’t like hearing them give you shit, I don’t really wanna hear it, too. So, I just stay away.”
“No. Right. I know,” Jensen returns lamely. He’s not sure where to really go with this, but then he’s alarmed when Jared’s in the living room again and grabbing his own jacket, tugging it on, and frowning. “Wait, where’re you going?”
His mouth twitches between a careful smile and a frown. “Stay here any longer and I’ll probably end up being late.”
Jensen notes that it’s nearly 12:45, close to him having to leave, too. And it sucks that Jared’s already gone and they hadn’t even gotten to any of the good stuff. But the fact that they’ve actually talked seems to be pretty good.
*
That night, he’s nervous as hell, but he leaves a note on Jared’s desk.
He doesn’t think it’s a big thing to look into his own place. He’d been considering it for a while, had just been saving money by splitting rent three ways.
He falls asleep as he’s nearly convinced himself it has nothing to do with Jared.
*
It’s 12:17am when his door creaks and his bed bends, and Jared’s right there.
“You really moving?”
He snuffs out a breath and cracks his eyes open. “Thinkin’ it.”
“Really?”
“Better late than never,” he mumbles. Jared’s eyes are shining but his mouth is twisted, and Jensen groans, because he’s not even sure how to respond to Jared’s cautious gaze. “Don’t get too excited.”
“You sound hot all sleepy.” Jared smirks and Jensen rolls his eyes closed. “Hey,” he says gently as he moves closer, face just before Jensen’s. When Jensen opens his eyes, Jared’s hovering and softly smiles. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Jensen returns much the same way.
Jared’s eyes are roaming for a bit, taking in all of Jensen’s face and then he says, “You wanna do this?”
Jensen’s not sure that he’s not actually dreaming this, but he figures he can go along with the vision for a bit, and smiles back. “Yeah, I do.”
The kiss is slow, and almost alarming because it never has been before. He’s used to Jared’s frantic kisses, but he wants to get used to this one, too.
It’s sex for the first time in ten days, and Jensen’s not ashamed that he’d counted, because it’s lazy and takes time, and when he comes, Jared’s mouth is on his, swallowing his quiet moans, and it feels pretty damned good.
And when they rest back in bed, Jared alongside him to sleep and not rushing off to his room, Jensen completely forgets about all his pathetic wanting. Because now he has.