J2 AU | R | No Strings Could Secure You | Part Three

[dugindeep]

The few hours he has between leaving Jensen’s and having to work are spent watching the show, engrossed by the relationships and stories and characters. He’s in front of the computer, completely mesmerized by the whole thing - the sets, costumes, the world that’s been created, and most of all the acting. The way Jensen moves through each scene, how one tick of his shoulder shows insecurity, a flex of his jaw gives away controlled anger. Jared wonders if Jensen’s power on screen is now enhanced with the notion that he knows this man, has sat in his living room, and has shared conversations with him.

He’s pretty certain it is. Because in the middle of his viewing, Sandy’s calling and his voice is open and humored. He gets a little over-anxious with trying to pretend he’s not doing anything illegal and is just sitting around the house. He lays on a simple, happy tone to the conversation. “Hey there! How’re you doing?”

“It’s busy,” she sighs. “But it’s better than not, right?”

“Yeah, I hear ya. What’s up?”

“I talked to Sophia about the weekend and they said next weekend’s best.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. That’s great,” he returns with a push to his voice, like he’s really excited about having Chad and his girlfriend over. He’s not not looking forward to it, but it’s not really the highlight of his day. Getting back to the discs and the world his mind’s wrapped around is.

There’s a flurry of noise on her end and she’s distracted, as if her mind is following whatever’s happening in front of her but her mouth continues on. “I don’t know what we’ll make.”

Jared’s finger is tapping at the mouse and awaiting the moment he can start the show up again. His eyes are watching the movement and it’s making him more antsy. He chuckles and smiles. “You always find something good to make. I trust you.”

She pauses then asks oddly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” he asks easily.

“You sound … I don’t know. Weird.”

He sits up in the chair, alarmed by her words - had thought he was covering things up, not sounding out of sorts, but apparently she hears something different. He tries to level his voice out. “Weird?”

“Yeah, like ... goofy.”

Jared wants to smirk at the notion, that being goofy is weird and wrong. But he frowns as he thinks about all the engaging ways he drew her in when they first started dating, and how often they had laughed over inane conversations and mindless activities that filled the void of what generations before them did on dates - like going out to movies and concerts. His voice drops while his fingernails scratch out random lines in the desk. “I don’t know … I feel fine.”

She sighs again. “Okay. Well, I have to get back to the station. I just had a few minutes and wanted to hear your voice.”

He smiles gently, thinking fondly of her and willing some comfort through the lines. “I’d hug ya if I was there.”

There’s a pause, like she’s again critiquing the tone in his voice, but she eventually says, “Thank you. I’d love that when I see you next.”

His finger is finally allowed to restart the show and most of his conversation with her is forgotten, those odd, worried feelings replaced by Jensen and his on-screen brother fighting their way across the country. When he’s at work, exhausted by not napping at home like he usually does, he can’t stop thinking about Jensen and replaying every scene the guy appeared in. Jared is solidly focused on that man and can’t shake it. Or his character. Or the current plot arcs. Or the scenery. Everything, really. It all floods his mind and he’s startled by all the emotions. There’s wonder with where the story’s going mixed with anger at a particular character’s actions. He’s conflicted between the two brothers and how they are constantly at war with each other. But then he’s full of giddiness at even experiencing the whole thing.

Jeff notices it first, smirking but asking carefully, “Had a nice break today?”

Jared tries not to smile and fusses with laying his uniform out by his cot. He’s thinking mostly of his time spent at Jensen’s and the rest of his hours with the Supernatural discs, and it’s a bit thrilling to have these thoughts while standing among the people who contribute to stopping these very feelings. “Yeah, got a lot done around the house,” he finally lies, sounding distracted to make it a non-issue.

His boss is still eyeing him. “Sandy doing good?”

“Yeah,” he nods and looks up with a slight smile. “She’s fine.”

Chad sits on his cot, looking between Jeff and Jared. “Sophia said she’s picking up extra shifts? They going that crazy over there?”

Jared shrugs and sits on his own cot. “I guess so. Haven’t actually seen her too much lately.” He looks up to Jeff. “Between these schedules, ya know?”

The older man’s eyes crinkle in near-suspicion before he nods slowly. “You look tired, Pads. Maybe grab some shut-eye.”

He grins, “Not such a bad idea.”

Jared sleeps on and off, woken by random outbursts from the poker game in the corner. The one he doesn’t give a lick about because while his eyes are closed, he’s either visualizing or all-out dreaming about Supernatural and everything he’d seen on that screen. He can’t wait to get home to watch more, but knows he has to ration his viewings for when Sandy’s not home. But he’s dying to finish it up and run right back to Jensen to spill all these emotions running through his body. To share all his thoughts and theories on what’s been going on and what’s behind it all.

All the excitement means he gets little to no sleep during his twelve-hour shift, and he’s not the least bit disappointed that there’s no alarm. In the past he’d grumble about wasting so many hours at the Lounge with no action. Today, he’s glad he doesn’t have to face off with someone who feels the way he does now. Stimulated and excited by the media.

*

It’s when he gets home and finds Sandy cooking breakfast, as always, that he sobers up. Not so much so he can shield his feelings from her, but because it’s all knocked back into perspective. He loves her and has always said he’d do everything in his power to protect her. But that box of six discs hiding in a toolbox in the utility closet is doing anything but. It’s opening them both up for trouble and just the thought of either of them being imprisoned for it scares him. Having Sandy put away for his foolishness, or even him being sent to jail and leaving her behind, shocks the elation he’d been riding all day right out of his system and brings real life back to the forefront.

He suddenly remembers their phone call, how tired she’d sounded and what he’d offered her. Coming up behind her, his arms circle her waist and squeeze as he kisses the top of her head. She leans back in his embrace and closes her eyes, ignoring the eggs sizzling on the stovetop. He squeezes tighter, making playful “Mmm” noise and grins into her hair.

She makes a short sound, like a squelched giggle, and he feels it rumble against him. He tugs her in even tighter and does the sound again, going so far as to jimmy her in his hold and chuckle himself.

Sandy’s going with it and laughing, but only for a few, short moments, and then she’s pulling away. Her face seems confused, as if she doesn’t understand why he’d just done that or why she even had that response. Because he knows it’s been such a long time since they’ve laughed together. She eyes him with a strange glance before going back to the food she’s cooking. “You sure you okay?”

Leaning against the counter, he crosses his arms and ankles, feeling relaxed to be home and seeing her, but also because in just thirty minutes, she’ll be on her way to work and he’ll end up watching more Supernatural. His voice is light and there’s no effort to make it that way. He just feels good. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You’re acting so strangely today.” He cocks his head in question and she uses the spatula in her hand to motion at him, moving it up and down. “This. And the call earlier. You’re smiling and all happy. What have you been doing when I’m not here?”

It’s not accusatory, but it’s a little suspicious. He can hear it there. His mouth works silently as he watches her profile and runs any number of excuses through his mind. He finally settles on, “Just been sleeping really well.”

“Maybe too much?” she asks, her voice laced with doubt.

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

*

It’s over the next few days and hours-long marathons in between twelve-hour shifts with as little sleep he can squeeze in and still function that he’s able to complete Supernatural. He’s jumpy through his whole shift that evening, waiting until morning to rush over to Jensen’s so they can talk about it, so Jared can gush on and on about how magnificent it all was, and how he wants more and more. Anything Jensen can give him, he wants to take and indulge on.

But first, he has to travel across town to answer an alarm, and do the job he’s been paid to do for far too long, now that he thinks about it. The whole ride is spent thinking about what he could do with himself if he weren’t an agent and wondering how easy it would be to change trades. When he was in high school, he thought about building things - like construction and architecture, being able to use his hands to mold a structure and see it rise before his very eyes. The dream had died so quickly and so quietly when his father passed in Jared’s senior year that the first job out there became his only answer. And now it’s his greatest disappointment.

At the house, they uncover a rash of compact discs lining closets in every bedroom as well as multiple players. As if each of the three children and two parents had their own collection that filled every hour of every day. The children look a little lost, like they can’t believe they’ve been found out, but the parents are what really hit Jared. They’re stoic and standing tall, almost bold. He eyes them throughout the search, while he rummages through their dressers and desks and cabinets to find any proof of purchase for any of the multitude of items across the home. They’re steady in their gaze and he’s uncomfortable with it all.

At one point, he’s alone with the father, who’s handcuffed to the handle of a kitchen drawer, while Chad leads the mother outside. “You proud of yourself?” the man asks with just a slight tang of bitterness.

Jared glances up but goes back to his hunt. He thinks about it and takes in the man’s tone, the set of his jaw, and the steady pace of his words. He knows his answer, and is shocked to hear how clear the words tumble out, slow and steady himself. “Not much at all, honestly.”

“You even know what you’re taking away here?”

He thinks of the fact that at this very moment, in this house, a family is being divided and locked away. But, he really knows what the man’s asking of him. It burns in his throat as he considers what would happen if someone found the Supernatural discs in his home, how he and Sandy would be split up and taken away. It’s not the first time he’s considered it, but this is the first time it feels real, standing in the kitchen of a soon-to-be deserted home and conversing with the head of a split family. “Yeah, I got it,” he mumbles as he stands tall, deciding to halt his search for the time being.

“That music … it soars and it fills this home with love and joy and sorrow and so many feelings you’ve never experienced.”

The father can’t be but a decade older than Jared, but he’s speaking like it’s generational. Like Jared only knows one way to live because he’s young and naive. He realizes he always knew there were other things to experience life, ever since his grandfather told him all those stories. But he just went with what he was told, what his mother expected and expounded. And for all that could come from being found out, he wouldn’t trade it in for the emotions he’s had since he watched that first TV show. “Yeah, I got it,” he repeats with a little more pressure in his voice.

Jared moves to the pantry and whistles low when he steps inside, spotting all the cased DVDs lining the far wall. Everything dumps into his stomach and it’s the thrill of this many movies and TV shows combined with the horror of how much media this family owns and what that will do to the parents’ detention sentences. Either way, he walks forward, fingers swiping the spines of the cases, taking in the names of so many stories he’s never heard of, had never dreamed of wanting to know. They don’t mean anything to him - not knowing what kinds of things were ever created - but he imagines they must be good, based on how the family carries themselves to be cultured and well-educated. His fingers crawl their way through more boxes and then stop abruptly at the Supernatural box. He smirks a little, rubbing the pad up and down the spine before tipping it down so he can turn it over in his hands.

“See what you’re missing?”

When Jared turns around, the father is stretched as far as possible, his head barely tipping into view. But it’s enough that he sees the cocky smirk and a flip of his eyebrow. Jared chuckles, realizing that so many of these people they come across are full of moxie and heat for what they watch, what they love, what they believe in. And he wonders if he’ll ever get to that point.

“Jare, Propers’ll be here in ten. Let’s get pops - ” Chad halts in the doorway as he’s nudging the father out of the way. He whistles much like Jared did, but Jared thinks it’s more of an excited ‘we totally busted them’ kind of thing. Not awed like his had been. “Holy jackpot.” Jared chuckles uncomfortably, Supernatural still at his fingers when Chad comes up next to him. “What’s that? Got a good chick on the cover?”

“Nah, I uh,” Jared stumbles.

Chad stares at him with doubt strong in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Just … never seen so much,” he replies honestly. Then he shrugs oddly and tosses the box to the ground like he doesn’t care. But he does, because he feels a ripple of tension shock his spine at watching himself act so carelessly with the box. And it burns when Chad starts hauling armfuls of DVD cases out of the room, smirking the whole time and jabbering on about how this is the biggest crack they’ve ever made.

*

He’s tired and worn out when he returns home. Enough so that he gives Sandy a random kiss on the cheek and goes straight to bed. She checks on him, but for the first time in a week, he’s tired enough that he doesn’t need to fake sleeping. He just closes his eyes and it comes to him quicker than he hopes.

As it nears noon, he stirs lazily, but then bolts upright when he realizes the time. He runs through a quick shower and dresses before rushing out the door. He’s quick about it all, and even quicker when he knocks on Jensen’s front door.

Jensen answers with a crooked eyebrow. “Dude, what’s your deal?”

He frowns a little and tries to tamper the energy down. But now that he sees Jensen before him, he just can’t. His mouth turns into a bright smile when he forms the words that excuse his appearance and his mood. “I finished it.”

With a short nod, Jensen opens the screen door. “Alright, yeah. Just, you know, hold off on the banging on the door.”

Jared smirks and holds up a coffee carrier. “It wasn’t quite noon when I left. Didn’t know how serious you were about rules.”

A tiny smirk forms and Jensen breathes out a little loudly. He reaches for the carrier. “Just get in here. Jesus.”

They spend the afternoon talking about themes and subtext and characters and motivation behind all the plot arcs, and Jared’s beaming the entire time. The next day he considers running over to Jensen’s to talk more, as if they didn’t get to everything he wanted to discuss, but he fears being too antsy about the whole thing. So he waits one more day before arriving around ten in the morning with another coffee tray and a handful of donuts. Two days later, he brings a few breakfast sandwiches from the nearby coffee shop.

It continues this way, and when Sandy asks where he goes, he excuses it away as some new guy from work. A Proper he met on the job. And she’s kind of happy for him to be making new friends, but she’s still leery when he comes home and has a permanent smile on his face. Throughout this, he’s watching more and more Supernatural, courtesy of Jensen. They continue talking all about it. And he continues bringing beer and lunch or coffee and breakfast as if they serve as the entry fee.

Jensen’s grateful for the drinks and food, but he still gives Jared a hard time about it. Nearly a month into this strange relationship, Jensen’s eyebrow quirks. “It’s like you’re courting me.”

Jared smirks in return. “Whatever keeps me on your good side.”

The amusement falls from Jensen’s face. “You know what would do that,” he murmurs around his coffee cup.

“More beer,” Jared chuckles. But Jensen isn’t changing his stance and then he’s staring down at the cup in his hands. “What?”

Jensen shifts in his seat, placing his coffee on the table before him. “Look. I don’t mind you coming here and gushing about all this stuff. Yeah, it’s a little awkward for you to be, like, in love with my stuff. But nonetheless, I don’t mind it.”

“Yeah? I don’t …” Jared drifts off, not understanding where it’s leading.

His mouth quirks with difficulty. “But you rave about the show, and then you leave and go to work where you bust people for owning this stuff. It’s getting slightly uncomfortable that I’m sharing all the tricks of the trade, but then you put people away who are in the trade.”

Jared’s face drops, as does his stomach and every other happy bit of emotion inside of him. Because it absolutely makes sense, but he wishes there was an exception here in this house. He feels like he’s made an exception to be there, even if it’s his curiosity driving him there every time he visits. But he still feels like this was a give-and-take thing here in the living room where they can discuss things and engage each other. He sighs and slowly rises, suddenly feeling out of place. Even though it’s been a few weeks they’ve been doing this. “Guess I never thought of it that way.”

Jensen rises and collects the garbage on the coffee table. He mumbles, “Yeah, I bet not,” and then he’s in the kitchen to deposit the trash.

He goes through the living room to right things they’d messed with - a few trinkets on the side table that Jared’s fingers always play with, the pillows on the couch that had been pushed aside - and he puts the final season of Supernatural, the one he still has to watch, on top of the fourth season he’d brought with him to return.

Working a towel between his hands, Jensen sets in the doorway and watches Jared moving around. While he knows Jared knows he’s there - how his shoulders tensed when the floorboards creaked beneath his feet told him so - he doesn’t say anything. But the way Jared won’t look up and only at whatever he’s fussing with is the sign of where they’re at right now. Jared’s eyes sweep the room, still avoiding Jensen but seeking out his jacket. It’s near Jensen, and when Jared shuffles over to grab it, Jensen gets it first and tucks it into his grip. “I’m sorry.”

Jared finally looks him in the eye and Jensen’s slight frown eases him up. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine it’s easy for you to have an agent show up at your door all the time.”

They watch each other and Jared spots Jensen’s fingers curling around the jacket and how they squeeze and release along with his labored breathing. The hands drop and Jensen glances to his feet before he finds Jared’s face again. “Look, I’m sorry. It was rude for me to put that out there.”

“No, you’re absolutely right. It’s hypocritical of me to be here like this all the time.” He scratches at his chin and breathes deep. “No doubt annoying, too.”

Jensen’s mouth tightens but Jared thinks he sees the corner flip just so as the man fights a smile. “You bring good food.”

Jared can’t stop the tiny smile before it’s there, but he’s feeling a little better about it so he allows it to be real. “At least I get that right.”

The jacket’s handed over and Jensen moves over to the coffee table, picking up the Supernatural case. He puts it in the air between them without a word. Jared looks questioningly between Jensen and the box. “Lucifer just got out. You don’t wanna know the rest?”

He breathes deep, but this time happily, and closes the space between them to grab the box. “Of course I do,” he beams. He flips the case in his hands, like he has with the last four Jensen loaned him. His eyes coast through the description on the back and he’s mumbling the words to himself with a smile and two dimples. Jared looks up with the same big smile. “I’ll be back when it’s done.”

Jensen claps a hand at Jared’s back and smiles softly. “You can come earlier if you want.”

“I don’t want to impose.”

He’s shaking his head and the hand pats then swipes up and down a few times. “You won’t.”

Jared stares for a few moments and without even considering the implications or the complications of it, he reaches forward and envelops Jensen. Arms and hands winding around the man’s back and he’s surprised by how quickly Jensen returns it. “Thanks, man,” Jared mumbles as he thumps his palms at Jensen’s back.

As they pull back, Jensen’s hands hold Jared’s biceps and he’s smiling as well. “Don’t worry about it.” He playfully slaps Jared’s shoulder. “I forgot what it’s like to have a fan.”

*

Every other day or so, Jared makes his way to Jensen’s and they talk just as much as before, but it gets more animated as Jared runs a gamut of emotions with the sweeping final story arc of demons and angels and the devil all getting their part in tormenting the brothers. Jensen allows it all, smiling along with Jared and not once portraying a hint of annoyance. Their talk about Jared’s job versus his new habits is never brought up again, and even while Jared fears the day it’s discussed again, he’s thankful it here isn’t yet.

He continues on to work and battles the conflicting sensations of what media now does to him - the exhilaration of each new episode - with his career to stop people who feel that way. At one house, where a young couple is found with a whole library of compact discs and old-time records, he does his best to remain stoic. Just the way he’d been before he ever considered watching a single TV show. But it’s hard when faced with their nearly comforting looks that tell him they understand they were wrong and they’re breaking the law, but they’re fairly okay with the punishment. Like it’s worth it.

When he escorts them to the van to wait for the Propers, the couple is quietly murmuring loving, encouraging things. He hears the man tell the wife that they’ll still hear the music. She responds that it’ll never stop for her and she loves him. And as they continue going, leaning heads close to each other and the man starts recounting one of the early days of their relationship, Jared’s chest tightens.

“Remember the first night? At the apartment,” the husbands asks gently and with a smile.

“The one on Wilkshire?”

“That one,” he smiles again. “Remember I burned the chicken?”

She chuckles with emotion. “Yes. But the wine was spectacular.”

He nods. “And after dinner, we listened to the music and we danced?”

Her mouth breaks on an emotional smile and her eyes are shiny.

“Remember the song?” The husband begins to sing quietly and it’s all Jared can do to not break down right with them. Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover. Something in the way she woos me.

When the woman’s eyes fill with tears and she smiles making a few drops fall down her face, Jared feels his eyes warm. He turns away before they see it and he rubs his finger and thumb against his eyes, scrubbing palms up and down his face to steady it all.

“Pads! Get over here,” Jeff calls out.

Jared takes another steadying breath, rubs once more down his face, and joins his co-workers at the fire that’s destroying all the memories this couple has built. “Yeah,” he says tiredly.

His boss eyes him suspiciously. “You okay?”

He rubs a finger to the edge of his eye to take care of any moisture and he nods. “Yeah, I think it’s the smoke from the fire,” he lies.

The way all three look at him is unmistakable. There’s doubt and confusion there, especially when Chad speaks up. “What the hell are you talking about? We smoke everything. All the time.”

Jared rubs at his face once more, mostly to hide any worry that might flash across it while he thinks up another lie. “I don’t know. It’s really bugging me today. We’re usually inside longer.”

The Propers show up and Jeff orders Jake to help Chad this time, leaving Jared alone with him. The guy drops a few more CDs into the flames and won’t look at Jared while he gruffs, “Jared, what’s going on?”

“With what?” he asks while he stares down into the fire to avoid the accusation in his boss’s face.

“You been weird for months now. I don’t know what your deal is, but there’s something going on.”

He chances a glance up and sees the steady face and seeking eyes. The man is not happy in the slightest. Jared looks back down to the orange and red destroying media and his stomach rolls with the image. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”

There’s a long pause and Jared’s sure the guy’s letting it go. But when he looks up, Jeff is staring at him and finally says, “I think you do.” Jared stares back, praying that his face won’t betray a single thing coursing through his brain - which is anything from Jensen to his mother’s definitive support of the Freeze to Supernatural to the space movie he saw as a kid with his grandfather. Jeff’s voice goes hard. “And I think I do, too.”

Jared’s shaking his head, but Jeff raises a hand to silence him.

“You fix it. Or I will.”

*

Sandy calls out to him the second he’s through the door. “Jared? You hungry?”

He’s antsy and angry over the conversation with Jeff. It doesn’t help that once they’d returned to the station, the guys set out for their poker game and didn’t say much else to him for the remainder of their shift. He’s thankful none of them tried to fish for answers to how he was behaving, but it put him more on edge to be ignored. And Sandy’s immediate attention is making him even edgier. “Just gimme a second,” he yells back, but then he winces at the anger lacing his words.

When he’s in the kitchen, she offers him a small smile and he tries his best to give one, too, when he dips down to kiss her. “You okay?” she asks gently.

He huffs as he sits at the kitchen table. “Just a rough day.”

When she brings him a plate of eggs and toast, he’s downing a cup of coffee and not looking at her. She sits across from him and keeps the softness in her voice. “What happened? Jeff said - ”

Jared drops the fork at his plate with a loud clatter and he sighs. “What the hell?”

“Jared?”

“He called here?” he grits out angrily.

“Yeah, he just said to keep an eye on you.”

Jared bites out a laugh and shakes his head. He stands and decides to ignore his breakfast. “Yeah, that’s great.”

“Jared? He said you’d been rough today.”

“Whatever,” he grunts back as he goes to the bedroom.

Sandy follows but he’s ignoring her as he changes from his work pants and undershirt into jeans and a clean tee. “What happened? He said you’ve been acting weird.”

“Yeah. You know what I did today?” he asks with irritation, but it’s remarkably controlled. “I arrested two people. Like us. Young couple. Because they listen to music. The guy sang to her on the front lawn to comfort her through the whole thing.”

“Jared, I know you’re having a hard time right now. But it’s always been like this.”

He chuckles harshly. “Not like this. No.”

“It didn’t get to you before.”

Jared turns and can’t help how his voice booms through the room or how he angrily tosses his hands around. The shirt in his hand punctuates his emotion. “Yeah, you know why it’s getting to me? I’m putting people in jail. We break up families and send them to detention. And for what? Because they like the way something sounds? Or they watch a movie that makes them feel something?” He stops, chest heaving and mouth dry, and realizes all of what he said. He throws the shirt back into the closet and shouts again, “Jesus Christ!”

“What are you even talking about?” she asks. But this time, her voice is angry with him and not trying to console him. “This has always been your job. And they’re breaking the law, Jared. Everyone else in the world gets by without media. We get by just fine without it.”

His shoulders drop and he sighs. The words tumble out before he can stop them. “You get by without it.”

“What’re you talking about? We don’t have any - ” And here, her eyes widen, mouth breaks open and her voice pitches just enough to hit him in the chest. “You didn’t.” He stares back, almost issuing the dare for her to ask. “Tell me you didn’t.” His chin rises. “Jared! You told me you took care of it!”

“I took the disc out of this house like you asked me to.” Jared nearly smirks with how honest that statement is and how he’s hiding so much else.

But they’ve been together for years and she can read most every expression he ever gives her. She just usually lets them go; this time she doesn’t. “Are you bringing stuff here?” she nearly shrieks.

He breathes deeply and it serves as his answer.

Sandy steps forward and pounds a tight fist into his chest. “You … you! I cannot believe you!” He stays silent, giving her this moment, but he does grab her wrist so she won’t swing at him again. “What if someone finds it? We’ll both go to jail! I cannot believe you’d put me in trouble like that.”

The way her voice breaks at the end hits him and he instinctively pulls her in to hug. But she fights against him and he lets her go. “Sandy,” he tries, but she’s waving a hand at him.

Her voice gets hard as she issues her directives. “Do not even attempt to explain this one. I don’t want to know where it is. I want it all gone by the time I get home from work.”

He nods numbly and lets her leave for work, not bothering to argue more or explain anything away. He knows all this. That he shouldn’t have it, that he’s putting her at risk. But the way he’s been feeling these last two months and seeing how so many people he’s arrested are still thankful they even experienced media … it’s more for him right now than the danger of being caught.

*

When Jensen opens his door, his surprise is not in Jared’s presence, but more the way the guy looks fevered and aggravated. As he pushes the screen open, he asks carefully, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just a rough morning.” As soon as he’s in the foyer, he curses softly. “You know, I just ran right over here. Didn’t even think to bring anything.”

Jensen smirks and pats him on the back, leading him to the kitchen. “C’mon. I’ll make something.” He gets the coffee maker going and some butter into a pan before cracking a few eggs open. “So what’s the story?”

“Hmm?” Jared asks dumbly as he takes in Jensen’s kitchen. It’s clean and orderly, but he’s struck with the colors of blue and green across the walls considering how plain the living room looks. Stainless steel appliances and marble counters clash with the image of the tattered couch and armchair in the other part of the house. “Nice kitchen,” he murmurs, forgetting Jensen’s question.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Quite a change from the living room.”

Jensen looks over his shoulder quickly, then back down to the stove. “Yeah, well, I don’t spend much time in there.” There’s an odd pause in the room and he adds, “Aside from you visiting, I suppose.” Jensen continues at the stove, dropping bread into the toaster while minding the scrambling of eggs. “Never seen you this angry.”

Jared rubs a hand over his face again and finally plants himself into a kitchen chair. “Sandy knows.”

His hands stop and he breathes deep before turning towards Jared. “And?”

“I don’t know. We fought this morning. She says it should all be out of the house before she gets home.”

When Jared won’t look at anything but the walls, Jensen turns back to the stove and finishes up his cooking. “And?”

Jared tugs the final Supernatural case from the pouch on his hoodie and drops it onto the table with a loud noise. “I guess I go cold turkey.”

Jensen puts the plates down without a word, and it remains silent as they eat the quick breakfast and drink coffee. Even before Jensen’s done eating, he puts his fork down and leans back in the chair to watch Jared. The man’s just hunched over his plate, scooping eggs to his mouth and biting angrily at toast. Once Jared is done, too, Jensen puts the plates into the sink and then kicks at Jared’s foot before walking out the back end of the kitchen. “C’mere.”

He’s up and following but confusion floods him and his voice. “What’s going on?” It gets stranger when Jensen unlocks a door at the end of the hallway and leads Jared in. It’s a small office with nothing of note besides a desk and clichéd art on the walls - like pastel flowers and park benches - but then Jensen’s kneeling in the corner, pulling back a rug, and working another lock that’s bolted to the floorboards. It lifts seconds later and Jensen’s smirking again.

“What is that?”

Jensen scoots to the opening and steps down a ladder. “The living room.” And then he’s gone and Jared’s cautiously looking down the space that’s suddenly illuminated from within. Jensen’s face comes back into view. “You coming?”

He nods slowly and makes his way down the steps. As soon as he turns around, his stomach flips and his head whirls at the underground space fixed up the way Jared had imagined Jensen’s place would really look. Movies posters cover the walls, a giant flat screen TV anchors one corner while floor-to-ceiling shelves hold down the other side, full of movie cases. Likely the sum of all the media Jared’s seen in the last year of his career. “Holy shit,” he says with wonder before taking another step into the room.

With a chuckle, Jensen crouches before the shelves to find a movie. “Nice, huh?”

“Oh, man,” Jared wonders again, but he’s finally moving into the room and looking at everything to fully comprehend it. “Now this is exactly how I thought you’d live.”

Jensen turns to the entertainment center with a case in hand and fires up the system. “You think I’m gonna have something like this in the front of the house? For everyone to see?”

Jared nods, feeling dumb right here. “Alright, yeah.” They settle into the plush, dark couch, and Jensen gets through the menu screen. “What is this?”

His mouth quirks, “It’s a TV.”

Jared elbows Jensen and frowns. “Not that. What’re you putting on?”

He looks over and the smile is gentle but it’s contagious and Jared’s smiling, too. “Just a little something to cheer you up.”

There is nothing in this moment that Jared fully understands. Jensen has let him into his secret hiding place, where everything that his life is really about exists. Where he truly experiences life and all it has to offer in all the titles stacked up against the wall and shown in all the posters across the space. And he’s about to ask him about all that when a distinctive set of chords comes from the surround sound system and there’s text crawling up the screen. His eyes widen to Jensen’s without even looking at the TV. He knows what this is. It’s been years, so many years, but it was his first taste and he never truly put it out of his mind.

Jensen smirks again and leans back into the couch as he deposits the remote at the side table. His legs kick up to the ottoman and he crosses his arms. “It’s called Star Wars.”

Jared can’t take his eyes away from the man as so many emotions wash right over him. It occurs to him exactly what’s been happening over the last two months and in addition to Jared learning so much about this underground world, he’s gained Jensen’s trust. Enough so that they’re in his secret lair and Jensen’s giving him this moment that was cut short 22 years ago. Not too long into the movie, but long enough that Jared has been thinking hard about it, he looks back over to the guy. “Jensen,” he says with meaning.

He looks over and is still smirking. “You’re gonna miss something if you keep staring at me.”

“No. But, I mean …”

Jensen points at the screen again. “So there’s Obi Wan Kenobi. Old Ben, remember? He does the hand trick,” and Jensen swipes his hand into the air while his voice goes soft. “These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

Jared’s gaze softens while Jensen talks and he knows what the guy’s saying, explaining the few moments they just missed, but he can’t stop watching him with wonder and care for the fact that he’s been allowed this far into the man’s life.

“It’s a mind trick. He makes the agents think exactly what he wants him to.”

Suddenly, his eyes burn and his vision is blurry. A corner of his mind is embarrassed by this, but he’s pretty sure Jensen knows where it’s coming from and why, and the guy doesn’t say anything about it. He just smiles and pats a comforting hand to Jared’s head.

*

As the closing credits roll, Jared is flushed with excitement, can’t keep the words inside him. He’s raving about the droids and the action sequences, the tension between Leia and Han and Luke, and the creative life forms that pop up. He feels like a child as he gushes about it all, and Jensen’s even getting a bit excited by it and laughing, smiling bright, while he counters and responds to any and all of Jared’s statements. It’s the most Jared’s experienced Jensen creating and keeping the conversation going. It’s usually Jared’s questions and Jensen’s answers, but here it’s Jensen starting thoughts like, “There’s been this huge debate on whether Greedo shot first or Han did.”

“Do not tell me Han did first. I refuse to believe it.” Jensen’s grinning like he’s lost his mind, like Jared usually is. “Wait, no. Because Han’s pretty badass. I think he’d do it.”

“Han’s not even the best part. Leia and Luke get their own business going later. They get pretty hard. You liked this? You’ll love the next one.”

Jared pauses for a moment. “Next one?” he asks quietly.

Jensen laughs. “It’s a trilogy. There’re two more.”

“Oh, fuck me,” he says, but it’s with wonder and a touch of care.

An eyebrow raises and Jensen’s chuckling along with him. He pats at Jared’s knee as he rises. “We can watch that next time.”

Jared stands before him and his eyes smile for him, keeping with Jensen’s and portraying all the care he feels in this moment. “Next time?”

He shrugs awkwardly. “You can’t bring it home anymore. Just come here and we’ll watch stuff.”

The catch of breath in his lungs burns but it’s a good burn. And then his cheeks are stinging from smiling so hard and for so long. Jared reaches forward to hug Jensen and it’s full-bodied, from their waists up to the way his chin tucks against the side of Jensen’s neck. “You have no idea,” he murmurs. “Thank you so much.”

Jensen holds him back and eventually pats his palms at Jared’s back before pulling away. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, seriously,” Jared nods.

A hand comes up to hold the side of Jared’s head and Jensen’s look is soft and steady. Neither of them wavers from this contact - both with Jensen’s hand and their eyes. Jared feels it crackle between him and he’s grateful to have this friendship, these experiences, this connection with Jensen. Jared reaches for Jensen’s head much the same way. Jensen says gently, “You’re a really good guy, Jared. I haven’t done this for anyone before.”

Jared’s hand settles at Jensen’s shoulder and squeezes. “Have you had a lot ask before?”

He shrugs and his hand slips down to his neck and presses in a little. “No, not a lot. But I hadn’t ever really considered it before.”

His answer is on the heels of a sharp inhale. “Well, thank you for doing it now.”

Jensen taps at the side of Jared’s neck and moves around him with a smile. “C’mon. You should probably get to work soon.”

At the door, Jared hugs him again, hard and tight with their chests pressed together. Jared’s head dips down with his face on Jensen’s shoulder. “Thank you so much.”

When they pull back, Jensen’s gaze is gentle again and they share an awkward smile. “You’re gonna make me real uncomfortable one of these days.”

Jared chuckles as he opens the door and steps onto the porch. “Hopefully that’ll be never.”

*

There’s nothing that could surprise him more in the moment he returns home than his mother waiting in his living room. “I do have a key, you know,” she says sharply when he stares at her. “Stop looking at me like that, Jared. Come over here.”

He dumbly moves over and carefully hugs her, still worried about her presence here. “How are you?” he asks with a level voice.

She follows him into the kitchen where he deposits his keys and jacket. “I’d be better if my son had his head on straight.”

Jared’s mouth twists with her statement, but instead of replying he offers her something to drink. When they’re both seated at the table, he plays with the lip of his glass and cautiously looks to her. “So, what? Sandy call you?”

His mother replies short, but then starts rambling. “Yes. She’s worried about you. Thinks you’re going to quit your job. How in the heck are you going to support her if you do that? I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s so broken up and even she couldn’t tell me what your problem is.”

He shifts in his chair so he can hold the glass with both hands and stare down into it. “My problem is everyone calling each other to snitch on me.”

“Jared,” she reprimands. “Watch yourself. We just care.”

His mouth works and he even bites the inside of his mouth to not say it, but he does. “I just can’t do it anymore. Arrest people for doing nothing wrong.”

She blinks, breathes, and blinks again. But there’s no more emotion to her. “It’s the law, Jared.”

Jared sits back, putting his arms out like a challenge. “Well, maybe I don’t think it should be.”

“Since when?”

He holds his breath for a moment and finally just says it. Just so he can stop hiding and accept what he’s been doing with Jensen all these weeks. “Since I saw it. And liked it.”

She swallows down another sip of juice and carefully sets her glass down. Silently, she rises and walks to the front door. But he can still hear her instruction. “You don’t tell another soul about it. You go back into work and pretend it never happened.”

Turning in his seat, he sees her gathering up her jacket and purse and staring back at him. “Remember that movie grandpa tried to show me?”

There’s a quick flinch to her steely position, but it’s gone just as quickly. She crosses her arms. “He shouldn’t have shown you that.”

He gets up and walks to her, holding a careful smile. Not to be smug, but because he truly feels what he’s telling her. “I saw it today. The whole thing. It was incredible. I have no idea why you hid it from us all these years. Or why anyone does.”

“You know why,” she grits back.

There’s a power to his vision of the movie, and of all the Supernatural episodes he’s watched, not to mention the fact that he has Jensen’s friendship through it all. And it all fuels him so he can smile and talk about it the way he wants to. “Because you told me it was wrong? There’s nothing wrong with experiencing someone else’s creativity.”

“Oh, Jared,” she sighs with feeling. “There is so much wrong with that.”

He shakes his head to argue, but his smile is broad and bright. “I haven’t felt this great about myself in years, Mom. Years.”

Her breath is deep and loud as she reaches a hand out to his face and strokes gently. “Jared,” she murmurs. “Please, promise me you’ll stop. For you. For Sandy.”

Jared’s prepared to nod, to lie to her, but he wants to do anything but that. “It’s not in the house. Sandy’s fine.”

The other hand comes up to hold his face tight and close to her. “Jared, you listen to me. You get caught, you’ll go to jail. Sandy will not be fine. I won’t be fine.”

It’s a sobering thought, for sure, but one that he’s just not worried about anymore. He’s high on the energy of media now, and nothing stops him from considering the next time he’ll visit Jensen and watch more.

*

At work, Jeff’s even more leery than he was before. Jared can feel him tracing his every move, and when they answer a call, he insists that Jared stay with him instead of Jake. Jeff’s eyes don’t leave him while they cart boxes out to the lawn to burn an entire DVD collection as well as a hundred or so music discs.

Jared’s doing his best to remain controlled and in charge of his emotions so Jeff - or even Jake or Chad - doesn’t know a thing. But on the inside, it’s boiling just beneath the surface. The fire in his belly is bubbling just like the one at his feet because he doesn’t want to do this anymore. Can’t stand to destroy this family’s entertainment when he knows what it really does to people. It doesn’t damage their lives to escape for two hours within another world. It gives them things to talk about, to think about, ways to imagine how the world could work if given the chance - either emotionally or even with technology, like how he thinks about Star Wars and all the wonderful contraptions they had in their lives.

But he’s keeping it all in check and the dejection he feels at having to burn it all serves as a good cover to just look stoic. Jeff comments on it. “You don’t look as crazy as you have lately.”

His voice comes flat, “Crazy?” He drops more cases into the flames.

“You’ve been going from sparkling like an idiot in the station to near-crying out in the field.” Jared catches Jeff’s not-so-casual glance. “Any reason for that?”

“I’m fine,” Jared bristles back.

“Hmm,” his boss sounds out as he, too, puts more into the fire. They’re quiet for a bit as they watch the flames swallow up the media and wait for pieces to settle down before they can add more. “You’re like a shell now. Which might not be any better.”

He looks up and his eyes are near dead from the energy he’s using to not react too strongly. “How about you make up your mind on how you want me to act and I’ll do that.”

Jeff’s eyes scroll over his face and he turns to Jared. “I know what you’re doing. You better stop it before you get in too deep and we have to do something about it.”

Jared releases the last pieces in his hands, knowing that many of them don’t even make it into the fire. His breathing deepens, chest puffing up, and his eyes train on Jeff’s. “You go ahead and do what you think you have to,” he challenges but Jeff says nothing in return. “You don’t have any idea what’s really going on.”

“I’ve got enough of an idea to call it in.” This time, Jared remains quiet, his heart pumping feverishly and his fingers curling so tightly into his palms that the nails are piercing his skin. “You mind yourself or I just may have to.”

He looks down to the pile of media cases at his feet, the ones he tossed just moments ago. He sees a Supernatural case. Season Three, he thinks to himself, knowing it just by the positioning of the brothers on the cover. From the clothes on Jensen’s body. He smirks a little then looks back up to his boss with another flat face and harsh chuckle. “You do what you’ve gotta do.” He looks behind them to Chad handing the mother and father off to the Propers while Jake keeps two children in order. With a rough swallow, Jared murmurs, “I quit,” and walks off the lawn.

*

It’s early for him to be home, but it’s still way too quiet in the house. He doesn’t expect Sandy to be up at this time, but there’s a pit in his stomach that there’s something wrong. And there is when he finds a note on the kitchen table that explains away the discomfort in their house. I can’t be here until you’re straight. Please get help.

He tosses it back to the table, grabs a bottle of water, and goes to the bedroom. He collapses on the bed and takes rough, long sips from the bottle and everything crashes in his mind. He’s so overcome with how the media affects him that he’s quit his job. And Sandy quit him. He can’t exactly blame her. And truth be told, for a while now, he felt like their relationship just carried on and didn’t quite grow or move forward. It burns that he’s been abandoned, that she wouldn’t listen to him or consider what he was really experiencing. She’s been the most important woman in his life for the past four years. But he understands and forgives her in seconds.

The point of his job is harder to digest. Not just the fact that he quit with no back-up plan and no plans on income or how to go forward, but also that Jeff is obviously on to him. And in his anger of the evening and impulsive response to the challenge, he all but dared the man to show up on his doorstep. All of these worries and anxieties plague him when he falls asleep and he dreams of Sandy and their once-upon-a-time love. He dreams of her disappointment in finding out he’s watched media. He sees his mother and tears coursing her face. And he sees his co-workers barging through his home.

With a few hours of rest, Jared makes himself breakfast and eats it over the sink, staring out the kitchen window. He realizes, halfway through a piece of bacon with a nearly empty mug of coffee in his other hand, that the car parked across the way is in fact an unmarked Proper car with two agents he’s seen before. His heart races at the prospect of being followed, like a criminal. Which he is, but he doesn’t have anything in this house. He doesn’t own a single piece of media, so they can’t take him in. But the minute he decides to visit Jensen, it’s all over.

Jared spends the next few days in the house, only leaving for a trip to the grocery store and for a few runs around the neighborhood to burn nervous energy that’s blazing inside him. He wants to see Jensen, wants to watch more movies, wants to just get out and not worry about that unmarked car following him everywhere - which it already has done. Jogging down the pavement at not-quite-five miles per hour and having a car slowly pace him is unnerving and he can’t imagine having to deal with it for much longer.

It’s another five days when he cracks and finds Jensen’s phone number by making a few calls under the guise of still being a Media Agent. The nerves at hearing a ringing phone are more than he remembers having when he first showed up at Jensen’s house. He doesn’t know why this seems like it should be off-limits, but it sure feels that way.

Jensen’s voice comes through the line, rough and suspicious. “Hello?”

He swallows and breathes deep. “Hey, it’s me. It’s Jared.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jensen says easily, as if he’s relieved Jared’s on the line. “Haven’t seen you for a little while.”

“I know.” He sighs, not even sure what news to start with. “I quit,” tumbles out first.

“Wait, what?” he asks, shocked. “When? When did you quit?”

“Last week? I don’t even know the days anymore.”

“What happened? Do you have something else?”

“No, I uh,” and he pauses, not even sure what the sane reason is. Jared shakes his head, wishing he could do this in person, but is also thankful to keep his nerves from Jensen’s eyes. “I don’t know. It just happened. In the middle of a search. I couldn’t finish it.”

Jensen’s exhale is loud on the phone. “Jesus, Jared. You can’t just quit.”

His spits back a little angry, “You didn’t like me working there anymore than I did.”

“Yeah, but it was a job. Jesus. I can’t believe Sandy hasn’t killed you yet.”

Jared sighs again, resting his head in his hand. “She left.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Jensen replies on a sigh of his own.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Jared … shit.” Jensen breathes quickly and speaks even faster, like he has to get it out before he rethinks it. “Hey, just come over here. I’ll help you out.”

He rubs fingers into his forehead, knowing how screwed he is at this point in his life and he did it all himself. “I can’t. They’ve got a car on my house.”

“Oh, fuck. Jared. Just. I don’t know, come here and hide out.”

Tears burn his eyes and his stomach turns again. He can’t help how pathetic his voice sounds. “Jensen, if I come there, they’re following me.” There’s a silence, and Jared’s sure Jensen gets it, but he says it anyway and so he can remind himself why he can’t even chance seeing Jensen. Even if it aches to know it. “They’ll get you and all your stuff.”

Jensen’s sigh is long and loud on the phone. But his voice comes out nearly amused, just to poke more at Jared. “Man, when you do it, you really go out in style.”

Jared chuckles emotionally, tears breaking down his face and he wipes them away. When more fall, he lets them go because no one will know they’re there. And he appreciates the way he feels in this moment with Jensen on the other line. “Yeah, no kidding.”

“I wish I could help you,” Jensen says gently.

He chuckles again. “I wish you could, too.”

There’s grumbling and Jensen grits out, “Fuck, I did this.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yeah. I gave you that damned box. Lit the fuse, started the bomb, you know?”

Jared pauses, hating the guilt in Jensen’s voice. “No, man. You lit my spark. Aside from this right here, I haven’t felt better in ages.”

An angry laugh comes through. “Right, meanwhile your girl left you, you have no job, and you’re being followed.”

He cuts Jensen off and speaks seriously, pushing his emotion through the phone. “It’s worth it. I got you and your friendship. And everything else you gave me with those discs.”

“Shit, Jared,” Jensen whispers and Jared smiles at the sound of it. His chest burns for about the hundredth time since this whole thing started, but this time it feels like a good kind of punishment for the whole situation. And he can’t even rationalize it in his mind, but it’s there. This happiness that he has Jensen’s friendship and the memories of everything they’ve shared.

Days later, he’s woken in the middle of the night by pounding at his front door. He’s grumbling his way through the hallways and is more angered to find Jeff, Jake, and Chad on the other side of it. “What the hell?” he grunts out, rubbing a hand over his head before he can figure out they’re in work blues.

“You gonna make this easy?” Jeff asks, keeping strong eyes on Jared.

He sighs and pops the screen door open with a hard punch. He’s nervous as hell in the moment, but not as much as he would be if he actually had anything. Which he knows he doesn’t. Yes, he’s broken the law by having it in his house and in watching it with Jensen. But he never kept anything. The house is clear.

Jared starts a pot of coffee and tries to ignore Chad as he goes through the kitchen drawers and cabinets. But the clanking of doors and items being shoved around keep rattling him. “You’re wasting your time,” Jared yawns. “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

Chad eyes him with a scowl then looks through the pantry. “We’re here because there was an alarm.”

He finally pours himself a cup of coffee and looks over the lip of the mug. “That someone gossiped about, maybe? I don’t own anything.”

“We ever been wrong before?” Chad asks without looking away from his search.

“It’s always been wrong.”

He looks over his shoulder but doesn’t say anything, just goes back to looking for any paraphernalia. “You could just tell us where it is. Make this easy on everyone.”

Jared shoots back angrily, “I don’t have anything.”

Jeff appears in the doorway from the dining room, resting palms at the edges of the doorway. “You sure about that?”

He shoots his old boss an angry glare. “Positive.”

“Hmm,” he sounds with a grim smile. “We’ve been hearing about this for a while, Jared. You been watching lots of stuff.”

Jared leans back on the counter and decides to stay quiet, just sip his coffee and wait for them to come up empty and leave.

“Hey! Down here!” Jake calls out and Jared’s gaze flips between Jeff and Chad and they both smile at him.

“Looks like he found something.”

Jared’s following right behind them as they enter the bedroom and Jake’s hovering by Sandy’s dresser. He has a couple movie cases in his hand and a large grin on his face. The guy says, “Not much, but there’s this.”

He doesn’t recognize a single word on any of the boxes and he’s frantically looking between his three former co-workers and waiting for some joke to be turned out. “Those aren’t mine,” he says dumbly.

Chad’s eyebrow goes high. “You saying they’re Sandy’s?”

His breathing catches, not even sure what to say to save this situation. “No. She’s not even here. She left two weeks ago.”

Jeff steps forward. “Then they’re yours.” It’s not a question, and Jared doesn’t even think it’s a statement, more of a challenge. For Jared to bounce back and argue so they get the truth out of what he’s been up to. Jared’s seen it happen before, the way they interrogate and trap people. He’s not about to get into it here. Even with his heart beating hard against his ribcage and his breathing hitching every few seconds when he thinks about how badly this will likely end up going. “They yours?”

Jared stands tall and watches the three men watch him. “No.”

“You sure ‘bout that?”

“I’ve never owned anything.”

“Never?”

He shifts, but keeps his ground. “No.”

Jeff looks at the cases still in Jake’s hands. “Think maybe Sandy left them behind. Just to get at you?”

He knows they’re fishing for someone and that if they get Sandy involved he’ll surrender everything he knows to keep her safe. He really would, but he also thinks he can get around it. “She wouldn’t. She’s never seen a minute of media.”

“You know that as fact?”

Jared breathes deep, tiring already with the whole thing. “She told me. She wouldn’t lie.”

Jeff’s mouth quirks into a slow smile and he takes the cases from Jake’s hands. He looks at them, then up to Jared. “Funny you say that. She’s the one that told me you’ve been watching.”

He swallows. It’s so hard and rough in his mouth. He has no words and it’s taking all his energy to not react. To keep his face still and his eyes focused on Jeff. Jared licks his lips and sighs. “I don’t know where those came from. I don’t own anything.”

“But you’ve been watching?”

“I don’t own anything,” Jared repeats with a hard edge, not wanting the conversation to go any further.

Jeff looks back at Chad and Jake, who continue to watch the conversation, arms crossed and settled against the dresser. He turns to Jared. “Where you been watching?”

Jared stares back, willing his mouth to remain closed so he doesn’t give a single detail away. He’s not about to turn Jensen in, it’s the very last thing on his plan to get out of this. He wouldn’t dream of mentioning his name to any of the men in this room.

“Guys, why don’t you take these out to the van?” He hands the items over to Jake as they pass them, but them leaving isn’t making Jared feel any better. Jeff eyes Jared, sighs, and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his blues. He even leans back against Sandy’s dresser, like this is just as tough on him as it is for Jared. “You know, you work with us, this can be real easy for you.”

“I’m not saying anything. Except those aren’t mine.”

“They Sandy’s?”

Jared shakes his head. Jeff’s demeanor softens a bit, but still. This isn’t exactly the situation he wants to be in right here. “There’s no reason she’d own anything.”

The voice comes easily. “Then it’s yours.”

“Hell, no!” he harps back. “How many times’ve I got to say neither of us own anything.”

Jeff stands up to Jared and he huffs out, “How many times do I have to ask about you watching media?”

“What do you want?” Jared grits out.

“Tell me where you’re watching it,” Jeff grits right back.

“What else do you want?”

Jeff laughs and shakes his head. “Alright, kid. Why don’t you get your stuff? You’re coming with us.”

His inhale is sharp and almost hurts. This isn’t where he thought it’d go; this isn’t what he’s prepared to handle right now. He knows the minute he gets to the station he’s done for. There’s no turning back, there’s no way to get out. Jared’s guilty the second he goes with them. His mind flips and his stomach rights itself in a second, making everything spin and he’s lightheaded. Jared barely manages to say, “Let me get dressed.”

His old boss eyes him carefully, but finally nods and leaves the room.

Jared throws on jeans, a clean tee, and a hoodie. He’s pushing shoes on his feet and when he stands, it all crashes on him and his heart beats wildly, thumping against his chest and hard enough he hears it in his ears. He looks out the bedroom window to see the work van with Jeff, Chad, and Jake standing in front of it. It freaks him out again, but he calms for a second when he notes the unmarked car is gone. There’s nothing watching him anymore and it comforts him for just a second. Long enough for him to chance it and dash through the hallway, out the back door, through the yard, and out into the alleyway. He’s running so hard, pounding feet to the pavement, oxygen burning through his throat as he’s breathing so incredibly hard.

Part Four