R | In a Faraway Land, You'll Find Yourself | 3/5
They went on the next morning much like the last two, Sadie and Harley surging across the land to bring them as far as possible before nightfall. Along the way, Jensen pointed out things of interest - a forest of bare, twisted trees in one direction and then a sparkling brook that shined like nothing he’d ever seen in his life, perfectly reflecting the sun above. Jared slowed the steeds long enough to explain each of Jensen’s interests with an effortless smile and smooth voice.
Jensen was eased by it each time, slipping into comfort with Jared at his side.
Before long, the sun began to set and its shine drifted from the course ahead of them, but Jared, again, kept the steeds actively moving, though slower than the night before.
“What’re you doing?” Jensen asked a bit more anxiously than he had intended.
“Just getting a little farther,” he answered quickly, though assured. “If we get to the South Pass, we can be at the Palace by the next night.”
He looked around them, instantly worried for shadowhogs, and couldn’t ignore how his panic rose higher and higher the longer they went on. It spiked with every sound that he couldn’t pinpoint, and then he worried his lip between sharp teeth when he caught Jared’s eyes sweeping the area. “What is it?”
There was no answer, just Jared turning to a noise behind them. Jensen didn’t see a thing, but after last night’s attack, he knew better than to assume they were safe. Jared led Harley close to Sadie and he smacked at Sadie’s flank, shouting, “Get! Go, girl!” Before Jensen could protest, she darted away, leaving Jared behind.
Jensen couldn’t help but hold tight to her fur with white-knuckled fingers, burning with the pressure but unwilling to let up. He strained to look behind, and he could barely make out figures approaching Jared and Harley, even while Jared steered in the other direction to put distance between them and the chase.
“Stop! Go back!” Jensen shouted, tugging on Sadie’s mane. “Go back!”
As she sped back to Jared, Jensen stared in horror as a crew of shadowhogs closed in on Harley. Sadie’s quick speed and fierce snarls distracted half the pack, which separated then ran off. The other half jumped at Harley, biting and clawing at his legs. Harley kicked outward and spun away, but couldn’t shake them. With one more sharp kick out, Harley bucked under Jared, shooting him into the air. Jared crashed to the ground, shouting and rolling away from the shadowhogs the closed in on him.
Jensen directed Sadie as close as possible to snatch him. She batted some of the hogs away then reached with a large open paw and scooped Jared up with Jensen dragging him the rest of the way. He pulled him in front, holding him close and ignoring how little Jared protested and just fell into position. Jensen smacked at Sadie’s neck, shouting for her to chase down the rest and free Harley. His adrenaline kicked him out of fear and into determination as they moved in to save Harley.
Sadie jumped at the shadowhogs, kicking up dust and earth and all but pounding down on them. They stopped their assault long enough for Harley to spin out and line up with Sadie. Both steeds dug claws into the ground, sweeping back and baring rows of jagged teeth and fangs. Sadie and Harley continued snarling until the shadowhogs were forced to step back and then again as the steeds advanced with fierce growls and paws slashing through the air.
Jensen kept a strong arm around Jared, trying so hard at the moment to not focus on the press of his limp body. Instead, he held tight then yanked at Sadie’s mane, shouting, “Let’s go! Get!” and shifting along with her when she and Harley instantly backed off and dashed in the other direction.
Jensen couldn’t dare himself to look back for quite some time, but when he did, he was comforted with the sight that the shadowhogs were scattering across the field, moving further away. As the hand in Sadie’s hair eased up, so did she, slowing to an easy pace that kept them on the path but allowed both her and Harley to calm themselves from the attack.
He tucked his arm around Jared’s waist, holding him tight. “Hey, you okay?”
Jared shifted only enough to lean back into Jensen and mumbled, “I’m great.”
Jensen’s hand slid up to hold him better but he flinched at the dampness across the chest. When he pulled his hand away, it was soaked red. The shirt was shredded and Jared’s face was already bruised and bloodied. “Oh, no, no, no. Jared, you’re not okay,” he panicked while pressing his hand back against the wound to stop any further bleeding.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think so, buddy. Where’s the palace?”
Jared mumbled a happy, “Buddy,” as his head flopped back onto Jensen’s shoulder and his eyes shut.
Jensen closed his eyes with a curse and held Jared even tighter. He yanked on Sadie’s mane to force her stop, and Harley moved in close, whining at Jared. As Jensen tried to keep Jared upright, he searched through the packs, coming up with his shirt from the day before and wrapped it around Jared’s chest, tying the arms around his back. He found another shirt of Jared’s and tied it, too, to force more pressure across the wounds.
“Sadie!” he shouted, again tugging on her mane. She twisted around to look at him and he patted down the side of her face. “Hey, babygirl,” he tried to coo, but even he could hear the worry in his words. “You know the palace? White Palace?” She nudged his hand and he had to swear it was her yes. “Take us there. As fast as you can.”
He lost track of time and distance as the steeds raced across the countryside. The dark didn’t help, nor did his rising anxiety as his mind would only focus on how quickly Jared bled through the shirts, ignoring potential threats in the night. He considered them safe when the bleeding slowed then stopped and he could still feel a faint pulse beneath his hand.
The moment white spindles came into view, Jensen laughed then grinned while his eyes burned with tears. By then, the steeds were slowing from exhaustion, but he pushed on, encouraging, “Just a little bit more, sweetheart. We’re almost there.”
‘Palace’ was not quite the proper label; the sprawling grounds covered more than a city block and reached so far back that Jensen couldn’t tell where the property ended. ‘White,’ on the other hand, was the perfect adjective; the fortress shone with the rising sun, easily luring them across the greenest grass he had ever seen, perfectly decorated with twirls of flowers and weeping willows that bordered the trail leading up to the gates. As they neared, men charged forward and tried to stop the steeds until Jensen cried out for Princess Adrianne.
Danneel slipped between the guards and cried a thankful, “Jensen!” before her face dropped at the sight of Jared slumped and unconscious in his arms. “What happened?!”
“Shadowhog,” he said with a tight, scratchy voice. “He needs help”
“Make way!” Danneel shouted. “Let them in!”
He directed Sadie across the concrete bridge spanning the carefully landscaped moat. She went as far into the palace as she could manage before she sat for Jensen to slide off. He reached up to bring Jared down as palace charges reached for Jared then carried him off before Jensen could say a word. His eyes remained on the way they took off, only shaken from it when Danneel touched his shoulder.
She lifted her hand away. “Jensen? Are you okay?”
Flexing his hand, he looked down and caught the dull red caked into the creases of his skin.
Her hand slid over his cheek, and she looked worried and elated in the same expression. “Jensen,” she murmured. “I cannot believe you are truly here.”
“Barely,” he mumbled, pressing a hand into his chest as if trying to keep himself in one piece.
“You’re here,” she said with more push.
His eyes searched hers and he all but begged, “He’ll be okay, right? You guys can help him?”
Danneel carefully smiled then nodded. “Yes, we will take care of him.” Her hand slipped down his arm then curled around his elbow to lead him further into the castle. “Come this way. You should rest.”
“I want to make sure -”
“He will be fine. We have many things your world lacks,” she murmured, pulling him with her. “You need some rest before you see the Princess.”
Right then, anxiety flared in his stomach and his lungs pushed all of the air from his body. He’d be meeting the Princess and still had a mission ahead of him. Yet Jared was unconscious and had bled a great deal; nothing, not even the Princess or the White Palace, mattered more than that.
Danneel leveled him with a sharp glance. “Jensen, you cannot face her like this.”
“Or else what?” he asked on a hoarse chuckle. “You’ll send me back to my world and I won’t have to worry about defending an entire country’s honor?”
Her voice softened. “Please, just come with me. You cannot help him by being difficult.”
Jensen did his best to glare in return, but the exhaustion of the attack and the race to the palace had worn him down, settling high on his shoulders with a dull ache. Giving in, he mumbled, “Got a bed and a bathroom?”
- - -
He found comfort in both, scrubbing away the dust and grime from the last few days, though he stared for a good, long time as Jared’s blood washed from his fingers and faded into the bath water. He did his best to look at the bright side: Sadie had led them to the Palace, someone was taking care of Jared, and they were all safe from another attack.
Jensen padded back into the bedroom, centered with a king size, four-post bed with a royal blue canopy gracing the top and pulled away to each corner. Across the blanket, a change of clothes was laid out for him, and through his pulling them on, Danneel appeared at the door. He fussed with fastening the pants and gave a tiny nod. “Thank you. For this,” he said quietly, swiping a hand down the front of his clean shirt.
She joined him on the bed, all the while her fingers spun into and out of the fabric of her long dress. “He’s still asleep, but he will be okay.”
“Thank God,” he said on a loud exhale, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.
Danneel nodded and gently grabbed hold of his hand, turning it into both of hers and squeezing. “Thank you for bringing him here. If it were any worse or any longer …”
He nodded in understanding and tightened his hand around hers. “I’m glad he’s okay.”
She smiled softly then visibly struggled while steeling herself against further emotions. When she next spoke, she sounded more composed. “Princess Adrianne expects you for dinner tomorrow night. Prince Jeffrey and many of the court will be there to honor you and your journey. But don’t be too nervous. They are all excited to meet you.”
With a harsh chuckle, he said, “Don’t be too nervous, right.”
Her hand again swept over his cheek and hair in one long, soothing motion and her eyes were wide in wonder as she took in the whole of his face. “The Fair Child.”
He again breathed deep and loud then shook his head, wracked with nerves for the whole matter, realizing that the eventual fight with the Queen’s monster was upon him sooner rather than later. It all made him laugh uncomfortably. “Is there any dragon-slaying training on the schedule?”
Danneel smirked and moved her hand over his heart. “It’s all here.” Confused, he covered her hand and waited for her to say more. “You’ll know when the time comes.”
Jensen had come to realize that sleeping in their world would come fast and end just as quickly; once night came, he slipped into a dead slumber, though when he next awoke, there was still darkness surrounding him, just a narrow glow slipping beneath the door. He tried for sleep, but all he could focus on was how Jared was and where he’d been since they arrived at the castle.
Seconds later, Jensen was meandering through barely lit hallways that twisted him around and led to dead ends and random staircases until he finally found what he’d been looking for: Jared’s room.
When he entered, he was struck with the lack of color on Jared’s face. So healthy and tanned when they’d first met, he now appeared slack and white with red scarring his temple. He was bare from the waist up, covered only in bandages tight around his chest, which thankfully lifted and fell with every breath, a sure sign that he was alive and on the mend.
Jensen rested at the edge of the mattress, hand slowly reaching out and fingers sliding across the beaten knuckles of Jared’s hand, which then twitched and turned, making Jensen flinch. He realized Jared was seeking out his hand so Jensen turned his over and slid it into Jared’s.
“You okay?” Jensen whispered as he gingerly held Jared’s hand.
After a few long breaths, Jared slowly broke a tiny smile. “Yeah, I’m great.”
Despite himself, Jensen threaded their fingers together and mumbled, “That’s what you said when you were bleeding all over my hand.”
He puffed out a short laugh, eyes still closed, but smiling wider. “I think you may be a little overdramatic.”
“I think maybe you’re a little reckless with this whole thing. You could’ve died.”
Jared’s eyes finally opened and they stayed with Jensen for quite a while until he finally murmured, “You could’ve died.”
“You can’t just throw yourself into the middle of those things and - ”
“That’s my mission,” Jared croaked with the hard push of his voice that broke as he kept talking. “To keep you safe and on your journey. Do not lecture me on this. I know what my task is and I have fulfilled it thus far.”
Jensen’s eyes softened as did his hold on Jared’s hand. Before he realized it, his other hand came up to hold Jared’s in a warm fit. “Okay. I get it. I’m sorry.”
“And next time I say get, you get. You do not come back with my girl and put her into greater danger.”
“We were trying to save you.”
“Yeah, well …” and Jared trailed off with his voice losing most of its edge.
He tucked Jared’s hand within his and warmed to the feel of fingers slowly curling over the side of his hand. “She did real good. Carried us both all the way back here. Like the speed of light.”
“My Sadie’s not dumb.”
“I know,” Jensen nodded with a tiny smile. “She knew exactly where to go.”
Jared swallowed then coughed with a rough noise, momentarily closing his eyes. “Is she okay? Harley, too?”
“Yeah, they’re both good.”
Jared nodded with him and barely broke a smile, but Jensen could read the emotion in his eyes from knowing that his steeds were healthy and safe behind the palace walls.
“Let’s make a deal,” Jensen started with a playful glare. “I go when you say go and you don’t throw yourself in front of the bus again.”
His hand flexed against Jensen’s before he shook his head. “I can’t agree to that. My duty is to keep you alive.”
Jensen stared back and his breath caught at the idea that Jared would do anything to make sure he continued on the journey. Anything. With a crooked smile, he asked, “Well, try to do it while keeping yourself alive, okay?”
“I’ll try,” Jared said with a small twitch of his mouth.
He patted the back of Jared’s hand, fighting the want to stay with Jared for as long as possible yet feeling the need to let him rest. “Are you going to the dinner tomorrow?”
“And miss your dedication?” Jared nearly smirked as his eyes drooped with his growing exhaustion. “I would never.”
Jensen watched the tension ease away from Jared’s face as he drifted off. He brushed a few strands of hair away to see Jared’s forehead, in comfort and to convince himself that Jared truly was healing. When he was satisfied with Jared’s rest, that the man really was okay, he rose and went back to his room.
- - -
Danneel found him the next morning. “Jared’s been up and around already. Healthy as a stag.”
He couldn’t fight the smile and nod that said far more than words could.
“You don’t know how happy we are,” she grinned. “I, especially, that he’s fine. You did a grand job in saving him.”
“He’d do the same for me,” he said, sweeping a nervous hand over his other arm.
Her head tipped to the side as she regarded him. “Yes, he would. That is his job.”
“Can I see him?”
“He’s back to rest already under doctor’s orders,” she said lightly but then directed Jensen towards the door. “There is someone else you may want to see.”
He followed her down the hallway, nervously pulling at the edges of his shirt and worrying himself over meeting the Princess.
Danneel smirked at his nerves and murmured, “It’s really two someones,” and motioned at the window that overlooked the back lawn. More importantly, it showed Harley and Sadie chasing one another across the long reach of grass.
Jensen laughed at their jumps and playful pawing, and excitedly asked, “Can I?”
She simply pointed at the nearby stairwell and he all but ran down the steps, at times skipping to the landings then turning quickly to rush down the next column. The second he was outside, Sadie spun in place, panted excitedly then hitched her back up high, and charged right at him. Jensen whimpered as he skipped out of her way, but she just ran circles around him, panting and galloping impatiently until he smiled and pressed hands through her fur. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Calm down, just calm on down,” he laughed.
At that, she plopped down next to him, rolling to her side and tucking her head down to watch him move close and playfully scrub across her belly. “You look good, girl. All beautiful and happy.” He slid closer and rubbed along her jaw then down her snout with her nodding into the touch. “You see Jared yet? Danneel says he’s fine. He’s good and fine thanks to you,” Jensen murmured as she snuffed against his hand. “Your crazy fast legs brought us here, huh? You’re such a good girl.”
The noise of Harley dropping down startled both Jensen and Sadie, but he quickly beamed at him. “Hey, boy! You’re looking good, too!” Jensen crowed, moving over to him, hands roaming across the minor bandages covering his ankle wounds, but seeming to not bother the steed in the slightest. Harley looked as clean and able as the first time they’d met.
Jensen spent much of the afternoon with the steeds, chasing them around, being followed with long runs across the lawn, anything to keep moving with them in the warm day. When he was finally worn out, he returned to his room to rest.
Upon rising, he found yet another outfit set out for him. This one, however, was fit for royalty with its pearl sheen, high collar decorated with delicate royal blue stitching for each button, and navy thread etched into the chest for an emblem he’d seen throughout the palace.
He stepped into the hallway to find Danneel outfitted in an elegant ball gown, sash from one shoulder to the opposing hip, and a careful thread of gold wound through her hair. She bowed gracefully, tucking the weight of her dress to one side as she said with grandeur, “Sir, you have been requested.”
With a long breath, he swept a hand down the front of the jacket then took her hand and walked in nervous silence to the main hall. It was there that his breathing all but stopped; the long stretch of red carpeting led to the far wall where two thrones sat, each taken by two people whom Jensen supposed were Princess Adrianne and Prince Jeffrey. Along the stretch of carpeting were many servants he’d seen throughout the last day of roaming the palace, as well as the addition of who he assumed were members of the royal family and other members of the government.
They all bowed at once, except for the Prince and Princess, who remained seated and watched Jensen take in the spread of the long room. Danneel lightly touched his elbow and whispered, “Bow to your guests.”
“My guests?” he mumbled from the corner of his mouth.
“They’re here for you.”
At that moment, his stomach bottomed out and his legs all but liquefied as he slipped so quickly into a bow he feared falling.
Her hand eased around his forearm and squeezed as she, too, bowed. “Try not to land on your face.”
“You’re not helping,” he grumbled back.
Danneel giggled lightly but stood grandly and led him down the walkway, giving slight nods to those she knew and smiles to all others. Jensen followed suit with a tight smile and short nod as everyone greeted him with a beaming grin and an enthusiastic shake of his hand. Nerve-wracking for sure, but he continued on and only felt it stack up into a thick coil of anxiety when they neared the thrones. Especially when Danneel once again bowed. He did as well, and she said, “Your majesties,” with great admiration in her voice. “I present the Fair Child.”
At that, she slipped away and stood to the side of Princess Adrianne’s throne, leaving him on display to the whole crowd. He slowly righted himself, hands fighting to find something to do, and he finally clasped them behind his back, fingers curling tight around each other. Prince Jeffrey stood and Jensen flinched back a step, but was soothed with the Prince’s warm smile while he reached for Jensen’s arm. “Son, it is our honor to have you with us.”
Jensen took the hand, squeezing just as tightly as the Prince had, and even bowed to show his modesty at the situation. He was the Fair Child, but they were royalty, and he felt enough gravity in the moment that it was impossible to ease up. “Thank you. Sir,” he tacked on nervously. “Thank you very much.”
Prince Jeffrey chuckled, a deep sound that came as easily as his quick hug and pat to Jensen’s back. While holding Jensen close, he chuckled again then gently said, “All due respect, I do not need the honor of ‘sir.’ You are our guest tonight. I do hope you enjoy yourself this evening.”
His eyes slipped closed and he couldn’t ignore the warmth growing within. His family never granted him such attention, and the entire palace was literally on their knees for him, welcoming him with open arms. It was impossible to ignore the contrast to his life, and he was speechless until the Prince moved back and gave another friendly smile.
“Thank you,” Jensen nodded back.
The Prince smiled and turned with a hand out for the Princess, who took it and rose from her throne to address Jensen. “Our Fair Child has finally arrived,” she chuckled lightly before holding Jensen’s face and bringing him in for a kiss on each cheek. “Am I to also understand that you saved your guide? You carried Jared for the finality of your journey to the palace?”
Jensen swallowed. “Yes, I did.”
Her mouth quirked through a tiny frown then into a soft smile. “Well, you certainly know how to live up to your honor, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry?”
She tipped her head and Jensen was taken with the gentle way she regarded him. “All along, you thought you were without fight? That you were incapable of fulfilling your mission? And yet you salvage Jared’s,” she said with a slow shake of her head. “You are truly more incredible than I had imagined.”
There was nothing he could say to that as he was entirely unsure of accepting what she was telling him. Yes, he saved Jared, but it was about Jared, not the mission. He understood the significance of getting to the palace in time, but there was something more to her words and tone that he couldn’t figure out. When she slipped back to her throne, his attention was drawn back to Prince Jeffrey standing before the hall, raising a hand to Jensen’s shoulder and turning him to face the rest of the hall. “This evening, we celebrate the Fair Child and his already proud heroics. But also his journey and determination to return Cassidonia to rightful power.”
The crowd hitched up into excited murmurs and nods, and Jensen couldn’t stop looking at them all, searching for Jared, and finding himself unable to continue through the celebration without the quiet strength Jared had provided for the last few days at his side.
Prince Jeffrey said more, but Jensen was too trained on the faces to catch what the words were. The crowd then erupted into applause and the Prince patted Jensen’s back, tugging him close with an arm around his shoulders.
Jensen looked to him with a tight smile but it eased with Prince Jeffrey’s broad grin. “Now we celebrate,” Jensen said a bit lamely.
He laughed and playfully tugged Jensen in again. “That we do, son.”
Moving through the room, the crowd descended upon Jensen for the next few hours, all wanting to meet the Fair Child, to thank him for his efforts in keeping Jared alive, and to wish him well on the rest of his journey. He was quickly worn out, even when he still hadn’t tended to every guest. Finally, when he was close enough to Danneel to get her attention, he pulled her from her conversation with an apologetic smile.
“Are we enjoying our celebration?” she asked with a playful smile.
His eyebrows shot up and he gave another tight smile, not wanting any of the guests to see him uneasy. “I’m great. But I’m also tired and hungry.”
“You should have said so.” Danneel grabbed his hand and led him through the crowd, murmuring, “We can’t have you undernourished at your own party. Jensen, you should know better.”
Her chiding matched her crooked smile, and he could easily pick up on her playfulness, but he still rolled his eyes and sighed. “Yes, well, I was a little focused on shaking every hand in the place. How many more hands do I have to shake?”
“You take care of Millicent and you’ll be shaking hands for the rest of your life.”
Jensen stilled, pausing just outside the kitchen as he felt all good intentions fall away. “What about going back?”
“Going back home?” she asked and he nodded. “Why would you want that? You’ll be honored and adored. You’ll have a place at the Red Castle with the Prince and Princess.”
“I have a life back there.”
“One where you were miserable working for your family?” she asked with a tiny bit of heat while soft eyes contradicted the moment. “Where you were never seen as more than just a secondary son?”
“No, it wasn’t like -”
“Where you had a love that you disregarded and ignored in favor of answering to your family. The same family who’ve disrespected you time and time again.”
Again, he defended, “I don’t disregard him. It’s just -”
“It’s just that you want to be back home to fix things but you’re still here and ready to complete your mission,” Danneel cut him off with a smirk. “You haven’t had much thought on Alex lately, have you? Does that not sound like disregarding?”
Jensen sobered and ground his teeth as he looked away. He went so far as to bite his tongue to keep from smarting back.
Danneel held his face and all but scrutinized before her voice went soft. “Jensen, you have a place here in our world. Follow through with your journey and see where it leads you.” Their moment was broken by a crash of pots and pans in the kitchen, and she nudged the door open, instantly grinning. “Now, how am I not surprised to find you in here?”
The second Jared’s voice rang out with carefree laughter, Jensen perked up and tried to see around her to catch a quick glance and see how he was doing. But Princess Adrianne was suddenly beside him, pulling on his arm with a small smile. “Jensen, you should come with me.”
He tried to peek into the kitchen, but Danneel was already inside with the door sweeping shut and dulling their laughter. The Princess tugged his arm once more with a small smile.
“Yes, your highness,” he smiled.
She led him to the balcony overlooking the back lawn, where Harley and Sadie were lounging before a tangling spring, tapping paws at the surface to watch the water ebb and break up the moonlight spreading across the surface.
He smirked at them but it didn’t last long; Princess Adrianne slid between him and the railing. “Jensen, you know this journey is very important. For all of Cassidonia, for me, for the Prince, for all our people.”
Jensen nodded with a solemn, “Yes, ma’am.”
Leaning against the railing, she continued to regard him, until he couldn’t ignore how long the silence dragged on. “It’s important for you, too. And it’s just as important for Jared.”
At the name, Jensen’s heart stuttered, thrilled with Jared’s laughter in the kitchen and in knowing he was healthy and happy.
Her mouth twitched but then she frowned as she slowly shook her head. “Jensen, Jared’s journey is just as significant, if not more. He knows what his mission is and he’s taken to it quite seriously. He has made promises to the court for the honor to guide you.”
His throat worked, wanting so badly to ask further, but he feared sounding too eager. Or looking it, given how closely she was watching him.
“You care about Jared?”
His voice scratched when he admitted to her and, for the first time, himself, “Yes. I do.”
The intensity of her stare lessened as she grabbed his hands. “He has promised himself to this palace, to the court. He and Danneel -”
“Adrianne!” Prince Jeffrey interrupted with a short laugh. “Are you interrogating Jensen? You should be more kind with our honorable guest.”
Her mouth quirked when the Prince moved close and dropped a kiss at her cheek. “I was merely discussing his responsibility.”
Jensen looked between them, not missing the light touch of fingers as their hands dropped together. He bowed slightly then stepped back. “I should really head back in. Maybe get some food inside me and greet more guests.”
Prince Jeffrey patted his shoulder. “You make sure you enjoy yourself. The guests can wait until you return from the good fight.”
He rubbed behind his ear, trying to afford a chuckle but instead it came out as a nervous huff. “I will try, sir.”
Inside, he was finally able to eat, hot and cold items filling his belly along with champagne to make him just lightheaded enough to get through the rest of the evening. Every so often, he caught Jared’s head far above the rest of the crowd, but whenever he managed to escape one conversation in the hopes of finding Jared, another started as more guests stopped to congratulate, wish luck, and express their gratitude.
He nodded more times than his neck could stand, and it eventually ached from so much use before numbing right over. The skin of his hand dried out long before he was done shaking hands, and his mind swam with so many names and voices that he couldn’t manage anything more than escaping to the balcony again.
There, he found Danneel and Jared close, whispering and giggling as he tugged an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. Jensen’s fists clenched before he could realize it, and he fought to relax when they smiled and called him over.
Danneel swiped a hand over the breast of Jensen’s jacket. “Did I mention how handsome you are this evening? Has everyone else?” she asked on a sweet twist of her mouth as he chuckled and turned his head away in slight embarrassment. “Have you been enjoying yourself?”
He smiled down to her then up to Jared and nodded, unable to speak; Jared was right there, healthy and wrapped gracefully in a royal blue suit, much like Jensen’s, and looking far beyond handsome. The stretch of fabric across his chest and shoulders amplified the broad, long lines of the man, drew more attention to his kind face, and even more to the strokes of red at his temple, healed considerably since Jensen last saw him, but there all the same.
“You okay?” Jensen asked him.
“I am good,” he smiled in return, even while his gaze followed Danneel heading back inside.
Jensen turned to watch her leave as well, and then he was surprised by Jared moving in with a broader smile and enveloping him whole. The arms were tight around him, as were the press of chests and the tug of hands into Jensen’s back.
“Haven’t had a chance to say hi to the guest of honor,” Jared said at his ear.
Slowly, Jensen’s hands came up, gathering fabric in his palms as he hugged Jared back. He tried to ignore the slide of his face into Jared’s shoulder. Or how Jared’s head rested right into his as well. “I’ve been a little busy. And you’ve been avoiding me.”
Jared chuckled into the curve of Jensen’s neck and then pulled back, hands sliding over Jensen’s shoulders. “Look at you,” he grinned.
Jensen’s eyebrow flicked up, as did the corner of his mouth as he returned, “What about you?”
Jared pushed a hand over his own shoulder, looking down on the jacket. “What? This old thing?”
He laughed, truly smiling. “God, you look good,” tumbled from his mouth before he could stop. Though he did amend his blabbering with a small chuckle and pat at Jared’s side. “Healthy and up and around. I was a little worried about you.”
Jared slowly frowned even while his look was long and warm. “I was a little worried about me, too.” Jensen nodded and looked away. Jared lightly squeezed Jensen’s elbow as he said, “Which made me worried for you. To go through with this without me there beside you.”
“Well, good thing we don’t have to worry about that anymore,” Jensen said with a light smile. “You’re here now.” Jared’s hand settled at the bend of Jensen’s neck, fingers squeezing over his shoulder. Trying to ignore the warmth spilling from Jared, coursing over his skin, Jensen lamely muttered, “The Princess told me you’re promised to the palace when you’re done? What is it that you’re promised for?”
The eyes glazed over, dropping from Jensen and focusing on the emblem of his jacket. “My life. I’ve promised to give my life to Cassidonia, to its future.” Then he looked up, softening when he found Jensen’s eyes again. “To protect you.”
He cleared his throat and nodded. “That’s a big promise.”
Jared leaned against the railing and faintly smiled at Harley and Sadie resting on the lawn. “Danneel and I promised ourselves to the court. We grew up together in the fields, and when I’d come to fulfill my destiny, she came with. You probably think it’s crazy,” he rambled and then he bit into his lip before continuing. “Crazy to just give ourselves over. But to have meaning to this life …”
Jensen turned away, fighting the want to watch Jared; he absolutely wanted to continue listening to him but the words cut deeper than he was sure Jared had meant. Jensen thought about his own life: unhappy, fumbling, always striving to please his family but always told it wasn’t enough. Jared had given himself over for the journey with unquestionable loyalty; he had purpose to his life and was content with his role.
“Jensen,” he said lightly as he moved close with a hand along his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
There was so much in his mind, so many words fighting to come out and just as many muscles struggling to keep it all in. But he couldn’t not say something, not when Jared was there and open and looking at him like he hung the sun and the moon and all the stars. “You talk about your honor and all you have to do. The pride of it all. And what do I do?”
“You’re the Fair Child.” Jared gripped Jensen’s shoulders with both hands then eased up to smooth over them. “You have much to do.”
“In my life, my other life, I don’t have anything good to speak of.”
“What about your family? Or Alex?”
Jensen winced and stalled, knowing his reflexive response but not wanting to say it. He finally said, rather pathetically, “Alex is there, waiting for me to make everything better. And I’m here.”
“You’re here to make everything better for Cassidonia,” he said with a slow, sweet smile. “He’ll be proud of that.”
Jensen stared for long moments, not knowing what he should be doing or saying. Jared’s hands squeezed at his arms, holding and keeping him upright, even when he wanted to sink to the ground and bemoan all that awaited him back home.
Jared stood tall and shook his head. “Never mind. We’re here to celebrate. To honor you before the great mission. We shouldn’t be speaking like this.”
Numbly, he nodded and allowed Jared to lead him back into the palace. They continued on with the celebration, Jensen sharing even more handshakes and well wishes, and Jared roaming the hall and greeting those he knew. Jensen couldn’t help but watch Jared, even while he was consumed with other conversations. He couldn’t ignore the draw of Jared’s smile, or his laughter, or the nagging feelings of wanting to be on the receiving end of it all.
- - -
Jensen rose to darkness still covering the sky, dotted with tiny stars. Voices in the hallway drew him out, and when he stepped through the doorway, he found Jared slipping from Danneel’s room down the hall, quickly shutting the door. His face was pulled down, as were his shoulders, and when he turned towards Jensen, he stalled. “Hi.”
He tried to smile, happy to see Jared but troubled with his appearance at Danneel’s room in the middle of the night. It only served as a reminder of Jared and Danneel’s promise to the court. “I couldn’t sleep,” Jensen mumbled.
Jared stepped closer. “Me neither.”
“How’s Danneel?”
He looked to her door then walked down the hallway with a short nod and Jensen fell into step with him. “She’s tired. Worried. Anxious. All understandable things. Many in the palace fear for the fight.”
“I wouldn’t doubt that in the least.”
“Even though it’s written?” At Jensen’s awkward glance, he explained, “Just as law, the journey is already written for us. It’s our destiny.”
“If it’s destiny, why are they worried?”
With a hand at Jensen’s back, Jared led them down the hall to his own room and gave a wry smile as he followed Jensen inside. “There are tiny matters within the story to question. But the main parts are truth. You succeed.”
Jensen laughed nervously. “You know, you could’ve told me that sooner. It would’ve made this all feel a lot easier.”
Jared chuckled with him then dropped to his bed with a sigh. “A lot of things could be easier, but they aren’t.”
Looking down at Jared, Jensen couldn’t help but ache to say all that he really felt. The fear he held through the shadowhog attack, in bringing Jared to the palace, in waiting for his recovery. All things that made him want to know Jared beyond this mission, to be right alongside him for as long as their destiny would allow. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and combed through Jared’s hair, and then his heart stuttered when Jared’s head slid against his hand and Jared’s eyes closed.
“Jensen,” he murmured as a warning.
Jensen shuffled closer, standing between Jared’s knees. “Is this not written?” Jared’s eyes remained shut as he shook his head, but he still moved into the touch. “I was scared when you were hurt,” Jensen admitted with a soft hand at the back of Jared’s head. “More than anything.”
Jared looked up, eyes clear and intent on Jensen’s face as he watched him silently work through everything else to be said. But the words shut themselves inside.
Jensen edged himself closer, still softly holding Jared’s neck while Jared’s hands skated up Jensen’s legs to settle behind his knees. His head rested against Jensen’s stomach as he whispered, “Jensen, There are things you don’t know. Things you couldn’t understand about me.”
His mouth dried up as he tried to work the questions out. “You’re promised to Danneel.”
He tipped his head back. “It’s not like that.”
“What’s it like?”
Jared didn’t reply, and after a few quiet seconds, he asked, “What about your partner?”
Jensen hadn’t the slightest clue of what to say. Suddenly, not returning to his life, staying in Cassidonia, seemed like the most logical thing he could do. He leaned down, lips brushing over Jared’s, praying and waiting for a response. It came moments later with Jared opening his mouth and smoothing hands further up Jensen’s legs.
Through the uneven kissing, through Jared’s touches and Jensen’s hands moving over Jared’s hair, Jared again asked, “But what about -”
“He’s not you.”
Jared’s mouth stilled then his hands slipped higher, gripping Jensen’s thighs as he whispered his name on a soft plea.
Jensen nudged forward, guiding Jared to his back and moving over him on the bed. “He’s not,” Jensen murmured back. “You’re … you. You’re, like, this perfect person. Like a breath of fresh air.” Then Jensen swept a hand across Jared’s cheek, over his ear, and to the back of his head before sliding back in to kiss, feeling more in that movement than any one thing he’d done in a lifetime.
Their fingers fumbled together, slipping on buttons, pulling shirts away, and gracing smooth skin. Jensen slowed at the sight of Jared’s chest, so strong and broad but now marred with scars from the shadowhog attack. Jensen’s fingertip traced each mark, even while Jared reassured, “I’m okay.”
He found Jared’s eyes and sunk down to him, skin on skin, mouth to mouth, tongues tangling as they moved together. And every bit of tension and fear over his real duty in their world dissipated and made room for the warmth and thrill of being with Jared, being with him like this.
FOUR