Title: The Agent & the Analyst, Part 2: Go Lean
Words: 2550
Rating: PG-13 for language
Summary: Jensen is a surly government analyst and Jared is the bodyguard that always smiles.
Notes: Part 2 of the
bodyguard!verse.
Part One “What the …” Jensen mumbles as he stands in his kitchen and holds an upper cabinet door open. His fingers clutch the knob as he stares at a completely empty shelf. His cereal shelf. His formerly stocked cereal shelf.
He tugs the next cabinet open, hopeful that he’s just tired this morning, and perhaps the coffee hasn’t kicked in; he’s only downed two cups so far. But no, that cabinet is just as empty as the one before it.
Running down the line, and even going low, Jensen checks behind every door of his dark walnut kitchen cabinets, and finds every single one cleared out.
“Agent!” he turns and shouts, only to find the six-foot-five bodyguard has snuck up on him and is already in place. Again. “Damnit,” Jensen spits out. “What did I say?”
“Agent,” Jared replies easily. “Then damnit.” After a moment of them staring at one another and Jensen resolutely holding in all want to kick and scream about how unfair his life is to be the target of internet terrorists that have necessitated a stealth bodyguard …
Well, after all that, Jensen sighs and Jared smiles. It’s become their thing.
“Is there a problem?” Jared asks.
“Yes, there is a problem,” Jensen responds slowly. “My cupboards are empty.” Jared makes a noncommittal noise and glances beyond Jensen to see the open cabinets, but otherwise stays quiet. “The problem began when I wanted cereal, as I do every morning, and I found the entire shelf empty. And so I checked the next cabinet. Also empty. And the next, and the next, and so on.”
“Yes, I see that.”
“Can you tell me why my cupboards are empty?”
After a quick pause, Jared smoothly smiles. “Pest control.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to complain but Jared puts a hand up to silence him.
“We will go grocery shopping later.”
“We?” Jared nods and Jensen furrows his brow. “You and I? We’re going grocery shopping.” Another nod and more furrowing. Two nights ago, Jensen had insisted he needed to run to the store to pick up some odds and ends; all he really wanted was a break from Jared’s shadow, but the agent wouldn’t allow it. “I thought I couldn’t leave the house at night.”
“Without protection? No, you’re not.”
Jensen can appreciate the possibility to get out of the house and breathe some fresh air. Much better than being cooped up in his study and pretending to work all night so Jared gives him space to play Skyrim in relative peace. Aside from all the sword fights and roaring that blare in his headphones.
“We can grab breakfast on the way, if you’re ready.”
He watches Jared straighten his jacket and buttons then motion towards the back door. Aside from his morning cereal, Jensen is ready, but it’s still unnerving that all of his cupboards were emptied overnight and he was never the wiser.
Deciding on yogurt instead, Jensen goes to the fridge and opens the door. Somehow he’s unsurprised to find it, too, empty.
He slowly turns to Jared. “Why is my entire kitchen cleaned out?” he finally asks.
“Hmm?”
Jensen barely stops from rolling his eyes at how earnest and clueless Jared seems right now. “Why do I no longer have any food?”
Jared opens his mouth then closes it before finally saying, “Just standard precaution.”
That tiny flinch is something Jensen’s seen before. When Jared claimed he was simply taking a leisurely stroll through Jensen’s backyard and not concerned with any security threats, or even those first few days when he ignored Jensen’s questions on how many threats were coming through, and especially when he had claimed they weren’t filming Jensen’s bedroom.
It’s precautionary to have a view in every space, but you do have some privacy, had been Jared’s canned answer … after a short pause and tiny blush across his cheeks while he barely averted his eyes.
That had been embarrassing, to put it mildly. Jensen decided to look at the bright side that it gave him another chance to read Jared’s tell.
However, it doesn’t make him feel any better at this moment.
“Someone poisoned my food?” Jensen shouts.
Jared stands tall and his face and voice are stoic when he replies, “So far that is inconclusive.”
“But you think someone might have?”
“We’re covering our bases.”
Jensen breathes deep to relax himself. It’s been a full week of Jared in his life and he’s not sure when he’s going to get used to it, especially when it means that someone is threatening his kitchen.
Giving in, Jensen grabs his suit jacket from the nearby kitchen chair and tugs it on. “Alright, then we’ll stop for breakfast on the way.”
Jared opens the back door, holds it open for Jensen, and follows each step Jensen takes so that the clicking of their dress shoes are timed together on the stone walkway.
“Is that part of the job?” Jensen asks, tense in the short silence.
“I’m sorry?” Jared asks with a questioning look.
“The walking together. Like to fool someone else into thinking there’s just one of us?”
Jared merely smiles and Jensen’s not sure if he feels better to know that he’s right.
*
Jensen grimaces at the mushy pasta and alfredo sauce covering his plate. He picks his fork through it, twirling a few fettuccine noodles, and lifting them, all while watching the congealed cream sauce dribble back down to his plate.
“What are you doing here?” Danneel asks as she sets her tray down on the lunch table and slides into the seat across from him.
“Eating. Or not, I guess,” he mumbles as he continues to play with the noodles.
“You never eat in the cafeteria. You always stay in the break room.”
He is mesmerized by the warm, sweet smell that is wafting across the table from her sweet and sour chicken from the stir fry counter. He may even whimper, considering how she looks up at him and searches his face.
“Why are you eating in the cafeteria?” she asks just before tucking a spoonful of rice, plump chicken, and bright peppers into her mouth.
“Apparently my pantry has been labeled as a significant risk.”
She points at his noodles with her fork. “And that isn’t?”
“I know, right?” he sighs and pushes the plate away. “Apparently he trusts the lunch ladies more than my shopping abilities.”
Danneel nods past Jensen’s shoulder, right to where Jensen is aware Jared can be seen sitting two tables away with a sure view of the entire room. “How is it going with 007?”
Jensen rocks back in the plastic chair, taking advantage of the slight give in the curved shape. James Bond would be a much nicer watch than overly cheerful yet tight-lipped Jared. “Man, if only.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about …” She leans to the side and stares. Jensen becomes uncomfortable when she begins sucking on her spoon then dragging it out of her mouth with her tongue tucked tight against it. It’s worse when she softly moans. “From my view, he’s a lot better than Daniel Craig.”
He glances over his shoulder and is startled to find that less than a second later, Jared is looking right at them. Worse yet is the sound of Danneel’s spoon clattering to the table in her nerves of being caught.
She laughs nervously and covers the silverware to keep it from further rattling. “Well, he’s certainly quite attuned to you.”
Jensen shrugs and fiddles with the cap of his water bottle. “It’s creepy.”
“Having a hot guy at the ready to guard you with his body?” She snorts and digs back into her sweet and sour chicken. “Oh, yeah, real creepy.”
“He’s always one second out of my personal space. When I actually think I have a moment of quiet, he appears out of nowhere.”
“Like now?”
“What?” A second later, Jared’s hand lands on the back of the chair next to Jensen and he’s leaning down to whisper, but Jensen’s already flinching out of the way. “Would you … for God’s sake!” He huffs and glares at Jared. “Wear a bell or something, man!”
Jared’s lips curl into a tiny smile. “Noted.” Then his voice drops as does the smile. “Need to stop by Internal Observation for a moment.”
Jensen sighs and rights his suit vest and tie as he faces Danneel again. “Okay, fine.”
When he doesn’t move, Jared says, “We.”
“We?” Jensen asks, meeting Jared’s gaze.
“Yes, we.”
Jensen searches Jared’s eyes, nearly daring himself to ask even if he’s afraid of the answer, or that two-second pause Jared always gives. “Why?”
And there it is, the quick stop with his mouth open, closing, then sliding into an easy smile. “Standard security procedures.”
Not bothering to fight it, Jensen slides his chair back, grabs his tray, and nods to Danneel in goodbye.
“Say hi to Jeffrey for me.”
He stops a few feet from the table and tips his head to the side. “Danneel?”
“What?”
“Inappropriate.”
She shrugs easily. “Tomatoh, tomahto.”
*
Two hours and forty-eight minutes later, Jensen learns that standard security procedures is Jared-speak for security breach. According to the entry logs, Jensen was entering the building about the same time he was salivating over Danneel’s lunch in the cafeteria.
He appreciates that the breach was acknowledged within minutes, Jared stepping in immediately. Yet it’s increasingly unnerving to be reminded that someone is screwing with his life.
It’s no better when they get home. Jensen’s walking the stone pathway around to the back of the house and eying the garage the whole way. He hasn’t driven his car since the first day Jared showed up; Jared had insisted on driving them around in his own vehicle.
Right now the garage door is up, but there is no car inside.
Jared must read Jensen’s mind because he doesn’t have to be prompted to explain, “General precautions.”
“Should I even be living in my own house?” Jensen asks, tiredly.
Jared’s lower lip twitches and Jensen sighs, going right inside.
In place of complaining, Jensen locks himself up in his study and slays dragons for hours on end. He’s in the middle of training with the Greybeards, swinging swords and slipping out of striking distance, when the screen goes completely black.
“What the?” he mumbles, voice fuzzy with his large headphones still on. “I already fixed that patch.”
He’s so attuned to the game that he just stares at the screen, waiting for it to come back up. It doesn’t, but Jared’s face does appear before him.
“What?” Jensen complains. “Can I not take an arrow in the leg in peace?”
Jared says something, at least it seems like he does with his lips moving, but Jensen can’t hear him.
“You what?”
Carefully, Jared plucks the headphones away from Jensen’s head and sets them in the open space next to Jensen on the couch. “Is everything alright?”
“Aside from you ruining my game.”
Jared makes an odd face. “You were yelling. I could hear you in the kitchen.”
Jensen sits up from his slouch in the thick couch cushions and flushes with embarrassment. He lamely gestures to the TV. “It’s just the dragons.”
“What happened to your knee?”
“Nothing,” Jensen replies slowly.
“You said you took an arrow?”
Jensen laughs uncomfortably. “It’s a, just a joke.”
Jared sits down on the coffee table in front of Jensen and bites his lower lip before speaking. “I know you’re upset. About me being here, and the cameras, and the kitchen stuff.”
“And the guy pretending to be me at work,” Jensen tacks on because he doesn’t want this man who’s capable of breaking people in two to forget that. He’d like someone who looks like Jared to hold a grudge.
“And that,” he agrees with a nod. “I know it’s hard to deal with, and it can all make people paranoid. I can tell you don’t like me, or that I’m here. And I know you really don’t want to, but you need to trust that we have your best intentions in mind. I will not let anything happen to you so long as you’re under my watch.”
By the end of the speech, Jensen realizes that Jared’s palm is set nicely, and warmly, to Jensen’s knee. He squeezes gently and Jensen feels his heart kick up.
“I promise,” Jared adds with another surprisingly nice squeeze a thumb-rub to the inside of Jensen’s lower thigh.
“I like you,” Jensen blurts in defense and instantly turns red. He clamps his mouth shut and isn’t comforted in any way when Jared laughs. Even if it is a pleasing, jovial laugh. “I mean, I don’t not like you. And I believe you, that you won’t let me die. Badly.”
It is comforting in an entirely different way when Jared smoothly moves to the side and drops into the couch right beside Jensen. He pulls the TV remote out of his pocket and turns the TV back on. Unfortunately, Jensen’s since died in the black-out, but Jared nudges his elbow and insists he start another game.
“You want to watch me play a video game?” Jensen asks.
“You mean, watch you slay the dragon and save the day? Of course I do.”
Suddenly Jared grins and it’s bright and gorgeous and magical all at once, because it makes Jensen forget why he hates having Jared right in his space. The warmth of his body might do it, too. Or even the fact that when Jensen slowly widens his legs to get comfortable again, Jared presses his thigh right up against Jensen’s.
After a few minutes of quiet, Jensen clears his throat. “We never went grocery shopping.”
“It’s fine,” Jared replies easily.
Jensen accidentally knocks Jared’s arm as he controls his character on screen. Jared doesn’t seem to mind, staying put right along Jensen. “You say that now, but I’ll get cranky without my cereal for all too long.”
Jared chuckles then says, mock serious, “The cereal has been obtained.”
Glancing over, Jensen is surprised to find Jared kindly smiling back at him. He takes a deep breath and turns back to the screen. “How would you know what kind to-”
“Kashi Go Lean Toasted Berry Crumble. I respect your choice in flavors, but I’m rather surprised you feel the need to go lean.”
“Well, I,-”
“You’re pretty fit with hardly any effort.”
Jensen can’t ignore how Jared had looked over him as he said it, or how his body is responding to the implications of the tone and once-over. “I run,” he says flatly. “Sometimes. Though not much anymore.”
The corner of Jared’s mouth twitches and his eyes lock into Jensen’s. “I run at five, you should join me.”
“In the morning?”
Jared chuckles. “Yes, in the morning.”
Jensen snorts and goes back to his game. “I’ll have to think about that.”
“You should,” he replies firmly.
“I will,” Jensen says, just the same. And he does. All night. In his big bed. All alone.
Luckily, it doesn’t keep him from rolling out of bed at 4:57 to join Jared.
Part Three