All of Us | Jared/Jensen/Danneel [2/3]
part one
“I don’t understand what the point is.”
“The point is you stuff your mouth as fast as you can,” Danneel says with a twist in her voice to joke.
“Yeah, you’re used to that,” Jensen adds.
Jared pushes a couple gummi bears together and makes a face at them. “Why can’t we just eat ‘em?”
Danneel’s laughing even before she smarts, “Because you don’t look funny enough.”
Jensen rolls his eyes when Jared still seems doubtful. “How chicken shit are you?”
Together, Danneel and Jensen begin cawing at Jared, laughing at how awful each is, but continuing on until Jared has to give in to laugh. He pounds his fist on the table to stop them. “Alright, whatever, you babies. Let’s play your stupid game. You just better hope I don’t choke to death.”
“On gummi bears?” she asks, doubtful.
“When he was ten, he choked on a hot dog,” Jensen explains.
“Oh, there are too many jokes at once.”
“I know, right?”
Jared huffs. “Enough picking on Jared. Let’s go.”
Danneel starts the countdown and once she yells go! they hurry to stuff as many multi-colored gummi candies in their mouth as they can. Their cheeks puff out the more they add and suddenly, Danneel’s jaws are stretched wide and she’s breathing heavily through her mouth to remain calm and push a few more in.
Jared finally gets clue to the goofiness of the game and points at Jensen’s fat cheeks, laughing then coughing half his gummies out onto Jensen’s kitchen table. Jensen and Danneel laugh at Jared’s break, but both manage to keep it together and sit for another ten minutes with full cheeks as they mime a whole new conversation.
She could keep going on like this, but Jensen’s mom comes home from work and starts up dinner. Danneel and Jensen carefully spit the candies into paper towels and wash down the table to clean up after themselves. She scrubs extra hard where Jared had spat up all of his gummies on the surface, shooting him a dirty glare that he returns with a smirk.
Jensen’s mom invites Danneel to stay, but it’s nearing time for Danneel’s dad to be back from work, too.
“You know you’re always welcome to, sweetie,” Jensen’s mom insists. Danneel still feels weird calling her by her first name, even in her head. “You know that, right?”
Danneel nods with a quick, “I know, and thanks.” She grabs her backpack off the back of her chair and leaves with a quick wave behind her.
Back at home, though, Gino has left a note that he’s gone to the batting cages with friends and Dad’s already got a plate of leftovers in his lap as he watches the evening news in the family room.
“Hey, honey,” he says with a guilty smile. “I thought you’d be staying at Jensen’s for dinner.”
She finds it odd that he knew they were there, but then again, it’s Wednesday. They always go to Jensen’s on Wednesdays and Fridays when Josh has work and Mackenzie is at dance class, leaving them all alone. Danneel secretly thinks it’s because Mrs. Ackles always grocery shops Tuesday nights and Jared wants new snacks.
“I have a lot of homework,” she excuses away as she sits down next to him on the couch and leans against his side, her head on his shoulder.
He kisses her head and leans back into her, and she suddenly realizes that for all the time she’s been spending with Jensen and Jared, she’s missed her family. Honestly, she misses the family she had back in Louisiana, when Mom would make rice and beans and cornbread, and they’d all sit around the table far past eating time to share their days. It makes her sad, almost empty, to no long have those shared moments.
Danneel had been trying so long to not worry over what she was missing and just numbly move forward. She wonders if that’s why she loves being with Jared and Jensen. It’s like a new family to sit with, and now she dearly wishes she’d stayed at Jensen’s.
“Did you have fun over there?”
“Yeah, I did.” After a few moments, she smiles as she remembers their game. “I played the gummi thing with them.”
He chuckles and nudges her side. “Oh, yeah? And who won?”
“I say I did, but Jensen would argue me on that one.”
Around a bite of food, he says, “You know your mom taught me that on our third date.”
Danneel glances at him then right to the TV when she sees he hasn’t stopped staring at it. She never knew that, but it feels weird to acknowledge after she’s just finally starting to feel okay not trying to remember too much of back then and live in today.
“I’m glad you have them,” Dad says.
She hums and looks at him.
“Jared and Jensen. They’re good boys. And I’m glad to see you smiling again.”
She’s not even trying to be cheeky, but she smiles in return, unable to not when she thinks about the guys. She gets the urge to be with them and gets off the couch. “I think I’m gonna go back to Jensen’s.”
“Oh, really?” he asks when she reaches the door, and she knows that tone.
Danneel rolls her eyes with a huff. “Dad, nothing’s going on with Jensen.”
“Jared, then?”
“No,” she insists, but something settles in her chest that makes her think twice over both statements. She tells herself they’re like big brothers-seeing as hers is never around anymore-but she can’t deny that she has feelings for either of them. Both, even.
“If you say so,” he replies, going back to his dinner.
“I’ll be back by nine.”
Mrs. Ackles answers the door with a quick flash of surprise before she fully opens the door with a bright, open smile. There’s only a quick moment of being asked if something was forgotten before Danneel’s ushered into the kitchen and given a fresh plate with a pork chop, homestyle potatoes, and applesauce.
It’s the best meal she’s had in weeks.
She also gets her fill of laughter as Jensen’s family talks about their day as if they’re telling stories on TV-peppering every few sentences with random, witty asides and terribly descriptive commentary on the people involved in each incident.
Warm, happy, and full on dessert, Danneel goes with Jensen up to his room to hang out. She’s seen the room a hundred times by now, but it feels weird when the rest of the house is noisy with TVs, gaming systems, and random conversation in other rooms.
“Have you thought about Halloween?” Jensen asks.
Danneel joins him at his desk where he’s shuffling books around as though he’s about to start homework. “No, I haven’t. You?”
Jensen puts on a pair of thick-rimmed glasses and smiles at her. The glass warps the color of his eyes, making them even more vibrant and she can’t stop staring. “Clark Kent!” he announces. “I’ve got one of Josh’s old suits that fits perfectly.”
She laughs and tugs on his shirt. “But how will people not just think you’re boring ol’ Jensen?”
He frowns at her mocking then nudges her shoulder. “’Cause Jared’s gonna be my Superman, standing right beside me.”
“Your Superman? Really?” She can hear how it sounds more strained than joking, and she can’t stop the odd feeling overcoming her. She’s not sure if it’s jealousy, like she’s being left out of the plan, or just that she feels so wrong for thinking they weren’t together, that their triad wouldn’t be broken off into a couple and one odd man out.
“You could be our Lois Lane.” A moment later, Jensen’s putting the glasses onto Danneel’s face then swipes at her hair, making some sweep across her forehead and holding a ponytail in the back. “Yeah, you could pull it off.”
He lets her hair down, but he’s still standing incredibly close. Her heart kicks up at the limited space between them, moreso on how pretty Jensen looks as he calmly watches her back. It’s a little hard to breath, even hard to sound calm when she asks, “You want me to be your Lois Lane?”
“Whatever you wanna be … you can be it.” His voice also sounds a bit strained, especially when he adds, “You look really nice with glasses on.”
It’s quiet and still in his room and she’s certain if she leaned just one inch forward that he would kiss her, but she’s filled with a jolt of betrayal. Just a minute ago she thought Jared and Jensen were leaving her behind; she can’t do that to Jared.
“I really like Jared,” she blurts out.
“Oh, okay,” Jensen mumbles as he takes a step back.
“I really like you, too.”
“Oh, okay,” he repeats, yet differently, as if he can’t piece that together.
Back in Louisiana, she probably wouldn’t look twice at Jared or Jensen. She had a boyfriend after all, one she’d been hesitant to leave behind, one she’d thought about having a long-distance relationship with. Yet, right now she can’t bear to part with either Jared or Jensen. It’s frightening to consider, especially when Jensen seems a cross between heartbroken by her first confession and torn by the second. She can’t stand to see him look like this, so she moves forward and presses her mouth to his, wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him for dear life when she breaks off the kiss.
He chuckles and heaves a long breath as he stumbles to find his footing while still holding her.
Danneel relishes the way his palms rest on her back, warm and easy as they begin to stroke up and down her spine. She tucks her head against his shoulder, just enjoying the hug.
“I don’t know what this means,” he murmurs.
“Me neither.” And she means it; she’s not sure that this has made things better or worse.
“Well, I have an American History paper that can’t be written from this position.”
He sounds awkward, but she laughs broadly as she lets him go. She loves how subdued his jokes can be, or how funny he is when he isn’t even trying. It’s a great reverse to Jared who’s always trying to make someone laugh.
Danneel twists her fingers together, only barely glances at him when she asks, “Do you need someone to proof it?”
He nods and smiles, and it seems like nothing has changed between them at all. “I would love for someone to proof it.”
“You’re not hanging out with your lovers today?” Gino asks when he drops into the other end of the couch. He turns on the TV, volume going loud and disturbing the reading Danneel was doing in the formerly peaceful and empty living room. She kicks his side for that, and maybe also his question. “What? You’re stuck like glue to those two punks.”
Danneel kicks him again, making him yelp and slap her foot. “They’re not punks. Your friends are punks.”
“My friends are fine.”
“Yeah? Then why aren’t you with them right now?”
“Yeah?,” he mocks. Gino changes channels then finds a college basketball game; she thinks this is even worse than watching golf. “I’m chilling out until tonight’s party.”
“Sounds exciting,” she says flatly.
“And what’re you doing tonight? Triple date at Parker’s Point?”
Danneel rolls her eyes and pulls her legs in closer, as if the further she is from him, the less he’ll pester her. “No, we don’t go there.”
“I saw you up there last week with those two bozos.”
They were there, kind of. They’d been cliff diving again, but had to pass by the bluff from where they’d parked and spent most of the moonlight hours in the lake, just floating around and talking. “And what were you doing there?”
Gino snorts and it sounds dirtier than anything else he could have said.
She fakes gagging.
“Jealous?”
“No.”
They both fall silent, Gino watching the game and Danneel trying to get back to her homework. It doesn’t last very long because she keeps looking up at him to wonder when he became such a shithead to taunt her like this. Back in Louisiana, they got along better than anything, were always hanging together, and she’d drag him along to parties and weekend outings with her friends.
Suddenly, he asks, “Is there anything going on with them?”
“Jared and Jensen?”
“No, Bert and Ernie. Yeah, them two.”
“They’re not together,” she replies, staring at the same line in her book, over and over.
“I mean with you.”
Glancing up, she finds Gino staring right at her. “No. Why would you think that?”
He shrugs and focuses back on the TV. “Some people at school say stuff.”
“Some people at school are jagoffs.”
“Just … be careful, okay?”
She shakes her head and tries to ignore how much the conversation has unsettled her.
Monday at school, Danneel tucks a new picture up in her locker. There aren’t many, but the few there are from times spent with Jared and Jensen. Cell phone and home printer quality, sure, but they’re great captures of the goofball times between them all, including Jared and Danneel sunbathing on the top of their cliff, and now Jensen and Danneel’s chipmunk cheeks.
“Oh, isn’t that cute?” one of the blonde cheerleaders from last year’s algebra-Kari, maybe-says as she points at the picture. She clearly doesn’t mean it from her tone, but she’s standing right next to Danneel and scoping out the pictures tacked up. “Are you guys going to the holiday dance together?”
“What?” Danneel asks, confused as to why Kari is still talking to her. “Who?”
“You and Jensen?”
“Or is it you and Jared?” another girl asks, the brunette friend with the insanely long fingernails that are always painted in bright neons. “Or Jared and Jensen? I’m never really sure.”
“Maybe it’s all three,” Jensen says with a light smile when he nudges his way between the girls and Danneel.
After what happened last night, something hits low in her belly that it could be true. She’s not sure why it bothers her, but it does. “Jensen, stop,” she mumbles once she’s closed her locker and is dragging him away from the girls.
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, I don’t need it,” she shoots back, walking quickly.
Jensen nearly jogs to catch up and shoots her a look. “Those girls are idiots anyway.”
“I don’t need you fighting for me.”
“I’m not saying you do.”
“Then why are you doing it?” she complains, spinning to face him even as other students bump them in passing.
“I just … I don’t know, I …” Jensen sighs and rubs a hand over his jaw. “I guess I really like you, too. I have for a while, so yeah, maybe I feel a little protective of you.”
She feels a jolt at his admission, followed by grief over what’s to come of their three-way friendship. “What about Jared?”
Jensen glances away. “He really likes you, too. He asked you out first after all.”
“That was for real?” she asks with a small, tight laugh, remembering how rude she was to them way back when. “I thought you guys were screwing around.”
“What did you think the last six months have beem?”
Danneel shrugs and turns back into the flow of students trying to leave for the day. “I don’t know, a freak accident?”
“Speaking of freak accidents,” Jared says from her other side. He sets his arm over her shoulders and winks. “Kari Hoffman’s got a huge log up her ass about something.”
Jensen looks over his shoulder. “Because she thinks we’re all going to the dance together.”
“Sweet, can’t wait,” he replies, easy as that.
And Danneel finds out, oddly enough, that it really is.
They don’t make a big appearance at the dance. They stick around long enough to get some food, see who wore what, dance through a few songs, then high-tail it with Gino when he lets them tag along to a house party.
It’s a small house with a large yard, the short-stop’s house, a guy Danneel doesn’t really know, but recognizes from hanging around her house for Gino.
“Hey, little sister,” the guy says with a low whistle and raised eyebrow when Danneel walks by him to grab a few beers.
“Real cute,” she grumbles, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, you are.” He runs his hand over her back, the ruffle of her skirt over her ass, and just barely touches her bare leg when he yelps. “What the hell, dude!”
“I don’t think she’s yours,” Jared says between clenched teeth. In one smooth move, he gets the short-stop’s right arm-his throwing arm-tucked tight against his own back. “You want someone touching your little sister?”
“Of course not, man.”
Jared pushes the guy’s arm a little higher. “Then don’t touch her.”
“What are you? Her bodyguard?”
Jared lets him go but then shoves him back into the counter as one last warning. “Just leave her alone.”
“Dude, why are you so pissed? I thought Ackles was nailing her.”
In a flash, Jared’s nailed the guy in the nose, knocking him to the ground. Danneel thinks long enough to grab a bottle of vodka off the nearby table then shove Jared out of to the back door. They get to running, panting so hard they don’t even say anything, worried that the short-stop or other friends will coming running after them.
Another minute and they’re a block away and jogging towards Wilson Park off in the distance. Both their phones go off, for different reasons. Gino’s looking for Danneel and Jensen’s tracking down Jared.
She replies to Gino’s text to say she’s fine and left with Jared, while Jared huffs at his phone.
“What?” she asks, dropping down to sit at their spot under the willows.
“Is he really?” he asks, angry but not looking at her.
“Is who really what?”
“Jensen! Is he really nail-”
Danneel’s outraged that he was ready to be so crude. “Really nailing me?”
He doesn’t concede that question and she doesn’t bother answering. She opens the bottle of vodka and takes a healthy drink, coughing and spitting only a little bit up when it’s too dry and warm.
Jared chuckles and reaches for the bottle. “Smart girl. Grab the goods on the way out.”
She snorts and glances around them, wanting to see anything but his face because she’s not sure what to say to him after he tried to so harshly accuse her of sleeping with Jensen.
“I know he really likes you. Jensen, that is.” Danneel finally looks at him, somehow likes hearing that, but also wonders what Jared really feels for her. “Like really likes you.”
Without a word, she takes the bottle back and drinks. She waits until he’s got the liquor back and is drinking to say, “I really like him, too. But no, he’s not … we’re not, whatever.”
“It’s only a matter of time, huh?” He’s oddly quiet about it, and just like she knew would happen, guilt overcomes her for the possibility of him feeling left out.
“Jensen said you like me, too.”
Jared looks nervous and Danneel definitely feels it, unsure of how to traverse this conversation. “When did he tell you that?”
She shrugs and plays with her fingers. “A few months ago.”
“Is that why you guys haven’t … whatever?”
Danneel shakes her head and only barely meets his gaze. “I don’t wanna choose.”
Slowly, a smile grows on his face and it’s catching, making Danneel share it.
“Dude,” Jensen calls out, jogging towards them. “Where have you been?”
“Right here,” Jared replies, irritated.
“Shit, Jacob’s is gonna kick your ass so hard.”
“Really? Why?” Jared asks, grinning and proud.
“Because you broke his fucking nose, that’s why, you asswipe.”
“Yeah, ‘cause he was mauling Danny.”
Jensen stutters the last few steps then drops down next to Danneel, leaning back with one arm close behind her. He seems offended on Danneel’s behalf. “She doesn’t need you to protect her.”
“I know, but I like to.” Jared winks at her. He makes one of his goofy little faces and it feels like they didn’t have any moment of revelation between them; it’s as though the three of them are still just them. No changes whatsoever.
“Jared’s like King Kong,” Danneel says, turning towards Jensen and punching thin air. “Me, smash! Me, break!”
They break into laughter and pass the bottle around to kill the rest of the evening, just talking and hypothesizing what stories will float around on Monday about Jared’s busted hand or Jacob’s busted face.
It’s better than any after-party that Danneel’s ever been to.
Hours later, at her front door, Jared sways under the weight of the vodka. Maybe also because they’re tired of walking. It’s not like Danneel lives close to the park, but they thought it was wise to walk off the alcohol.
“Let’s go sit up on your roof,” he whispers with a lazy smile. “And look at the stars and stuff.”
Danneel smiles and appreciates that he’s being quiet, especially this late at night when she’s certain they could wake up her dad. “I always love doing stuff.”
“Stuff is cool,” Jensen says with a sure nod, likely mocking Jared.
Either way, Danneel doesn’t want to say goodnight just yet, so she lets them in and they tiptoe up the stairs, down the hall, and into her room. She quietly closes the door and takes off her shoes, barely paying attention to what the guys are doing. She doesn’t open the window any wider than the few inches that gives her a cool breeze at night, then flops back on her bed, smiling when Jared and Jensen each get in next to her.
From the corner of her eye, she can see Jared blinking at the ceiling and smiling. He hums and shuffles on the bed to a more comfortable position, slipping his arm beneath Danneel’s neck. “I love the stars.”
She softly laughs. “Me, too, sweetie.”
“Stars are good,” Jensen mumbles. Then he rolls towards her and sets his arm over her waist, his face just barely pressed against her bare shoulder. She can feel his breath coasting over her skin, and it’s warm, but a chill run down her arm. “You okay?”
With only a passing thought, she brings her arm up to rest on Jensen’s and turns her head to face him. He’s looking up at her from under the long fan of his eyelashes, and she thinks once again about kissing him. Has thought about it almost every day since she did. Then Jared begins to roll towards her and settles against her back with an arm over her as well.
Danneel’s trapped between them, and she’s not sure which of them will sleep first. She imagines she’ll be stuck here until morning, that is if she can maintain breathing with Jared’s heavy arm draped across her chest.
She begins to chuckle and Jensen smiles brighter at her, then she goes quiet when he leans up and forward with the most serious face she’s ever seen him have. He hovers just beside her with their mouths inches apart, and she can’t dare move in this position, neither into the kiss or from it, too afraid to move in any direction. If she goes for it, it could kill Jared; if she stops Jensen, she knows she’ll hurt him just the same.
Jensen finally closes the space with a soft kiss, and Danneel decides to hold still. If she doesn’t react, maybe no one will be wounded. He opens his mouth against hers, plies her lips just a fraction of the way open, and when she feels his palm on her cheek, she melts into it just to feel something more than this teetering between them all.
His tongue presses inside and strokes along hers, and she opens her mouth wider to give him more space. Belatedly, she realizes Jared’s arm has tightened around her and he’s kissing up the side of her neck. Heat flushes through her and she feels sluggish in the kiss, in moving her hand up for Jensen or back to Jared. It feels like they’re all too close yet too far away. She can’t decide what she wants: to stop it all now, or keep going and make a bad situation even worse.
Danneel pulls back to catch her breath and let her mind settle, but when she looks back at Jared, sees his eyes dark and wide, lips shining in the moonlight, she can’t ignore the want whirling inside. He smiles just a tiny bit, betraying how lost and unsure he had seemed for the long moment they’d stared at one another. Then he slides forward, brushes his lips against hers, pushes his tongue inside to replace the flavor of Jensen with something strong and salty. Something more Jared.
Somewhere beyond their staggered breathing and Danneel’s racing heartbeat, she hears a creak out beyond her closed bedroom door. She flinches, as do Jared and Jensen when she makes a worrisome noise, and waits as she hears her dad moving in the hallway to and from the bathroom.
When she finally hears his bedroom door close, she releases a sigh, dumps her head back to her pillow, and closes her eyes tightly, trying to calm her jumpy heart.
“I think he’s going back to bed,” Jared whispers.
“Yeah,” she replies.
“Maybe we should sleep.”
A few seconds later, Jensen lightly clears his throat. “Maybe we should just go.”
Jared begins to pull away and Danneel flips her eyes open, looking at them both. She’s not sure what she wants, but she’s certain it’s not that. “No, don’t, just stay for the night.” When neither answers, she bites her bottom lip then takes a deep breath. “We’ll talk about it in the morning. Just, for now, we sleep.”
They all settle back down as comfortably as they can without lying so closely upon one another. Sleep comes, but the talking doesn’t. When Danneel wakes in the morning, she’s alone.
Neither Jared nor Jensen show up on Sunday, but Danneel doesn’t go looking for them either. Same for Monday at school, Tuesday, too. She doesn’t have classes near any of them, doesn’t share a scheduled lunch, and she realizes all the times that Jensen and Jared just popped up to see her and how little she ever tried to track them down.
She’s not sure what period either of them eat, doesn’t know what ways they would walk between classes without detouring to her, and all she knows about their lockers is what halls they’re in-not even which number they are.
On Wednesday, after dropping books off at home and changing four times until she feels comfortable yet cute without looking like she’s trying, Danneel finally shows up to Jensen’s. She stands on the front steps and prepares to ring the doorbell, but she never did before. Not for the nine to ten months they’ve been hanging out regularly, and certainly not when she knows that only Jensen will be home.
From the foyer, she can hear muffled noises upstairs, likely in Jensen’s bedroom. She swallows hard and builds up the courage to take the stairs. It’s a frightful thing to come after them, but she knows she has to try. She’s not willing to give either of them up, and they’ve both pulled enough weight for all three of them in kickstarting this friendship.
Jensen’s door is closed and she hears a laugh inside, Jared’s, and she smiles at the sound of it. Just four days since she’s heard it and she realizes she’s missed it terribly. There’s a dark noise, a growl of some sort, and Danneel leans against the door to hear better, making a board creak beneath her feet.
“Dude, is someone home?” Jared asks in a hush and Danneel feels foolish sneaking like this.
She finally knocks and opens the door with a nervous, “It’s Danny.”
Jensen’s oh shit is just barely heard above the noise of them shuffling and Jensen’s bed squawking with movement.
Before the door is fully opened, she says, “I can come back later.” Then she stalls in the doorway when she finds Jared and Jensen each shirtless with Jared trying to pull his jeans up over dark underwear. “Or not at all.”
“It’s not what you think,” Jensen says immediately.
“Oh, really?” Danneel can’t breathe, words coming out tight and uneven. “Because it looks like you two were messing around.” Jared looks guilty and Jensen opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t manage to say anything. Her head spins with fury and she clenches her hands in fists tight enough that she feels the prick of every fingernail in her palm. “And you guys were each trying to play me while you were together? Like I was just some added bonus?” She can’t stop the words now, nor the tears that start. “And when I wouldn’t put out, you both just ditched me. Ditched our friendship.”
“No, that wasn’t it,” Jensen defends.
“It really wasn’t,” Jared adds with a shake of his head. He gets up from the bed and comes near her, but Danneel backs up into the hallway.
A small part of her is fighting to not believe them, to reclaim that lonely seat she’d had for the first few months after moving here. Back then, it was easy to stay inside herself, to keep her feelings to herself and not worry about having them broken and crying. God, she hates crying, and right now she hates herself for even getting worked up over all this.
“I should’ve just ignored you guys the whole time,” she mumbles.
Jared’s hands reach for her face, tip it so she can see into his eyes that are clear and deep, but desperately sad. “We weren’t doing any of those things. Yeah, I was hurt from Saturday, but it wasn’t because you turned us down. I was afraid we’d scared you off.”
She’s scared, for sure, of what’s to happen to their friendship if she can fully believe them. She slides back and lets Jared’s hands drop between them, takes a deep breath, and looks at Jensen. He seems just as worried and broken as Jared does. “How do I know you’re not lying again?”
“We never lied before,” Jensen murmurs. “We love you.”
Danneel wants to laugh bitterly, ask what they know about love, but she knows she’s been in love with them both for months even if she’s only been aware of it for weeks. Tears build again and she’s desperate to hang onto each of them, even when she can’t get her voice to work or her arms to move.
Jensen pulls her into his arms and hugs tightly, kisses her neck, then holds even tighter. “We missed you, you know that, right?” he whispers in her ear.
She clings to him and ducks her face against his neck. “I missed you, too.”
Jared must’ve heard her because he comes forward to hug around them both and kisses the top of her head. They stand like that for countless minutes, swaying together, feeling the warm embrace, until someone clambers through the front door and all three flinch away from one another.
Jared runs back into Jensen’s bedroom for his shirt while Jensen peeks over the railing. Danneel sees Josh stand in the hallway below and laugh at them.
“Hey, Cassanova!” Josh yells, gesturing at Jensen still without his shirt. “What’re you two doing up there alone?”
“Shut up, Josh.”
“Mom know you got your girlfriend here alone?”
“You’re supposed to be working,” Jensen shoots back.
“I got off early. But tell Mom I’m running back out to the book store for school.”
Jensen rolls his eyes and waves his hand as an okay, then leads Danneel into his room. “It’s fine,” he tells Jared, who’s crazy nervous, sitting on the bed with his knee jumping up and down. It kind of makes Danneel laugh as she sits down near him. “Assface is only here for a minute.”
“I heard that,” Josh yells, from downstairs, but then the door opens and slams closed again, and they’re left alone.
“So, Cassanova,” Danneel says to Jensen, “What were you two doing up here?”
“Just, trying to …” Jensen drifts off.
Jared finishes with, “relieve some stress.”
Danneel stares at them each then breaks out laughing, confusing them both. “Is that what you’re calling it?”
“What?” Jared shrieks. “We’re both very stressed. You’re a very stressful girlfriend, you know!”
“No, I don’t … I don’t know,” Danneel mumbles back, looking between them again. She wonders if this is how Jared and Jensen have seen her, if it’s what they’ve really been for all this time and she never recognized it. Maybe they were all moving together toward something none of them could name, and all along, no one had to choose anyone.
Jared leans forward and taps her nose. “Well, you are.”
Danneel rubs over the edge of her nose and frowns a little. “Well, you’re not very easy boyfriends, either.” After a moment, she adds, “If that’s what you are?”
Jensen glances at Jared, Danneel, and again to Jared, like he’s unsure how to response. “I kind of-”
“Really have been dying to be,” Jared says. When Jensen glares at him, Jared shrugs. “Well, you have.” He turns to Danneel. “Me, too, for the record.”
Delirious is the only way to describe the room. Giddy, ridiculous, terrifying delirium must have taken over each of them. “I don’t even know how this would work.”
“You think we’re the experts or something?”
She chuckles and more tension eases within. Maybe nothing changes in their friendship, but all the in-between moments will no longer waver to each end of the spectrum. Danneel will finally have a clear view of what’s right in front of her.
“Jensen?” Danneel asks, looking up at him. He’s standing plainly in front of her, bare chest pushing in and out with as if he’s having trouble breathing. To anyone else in the world, he’d likely seem fine, but she can see the worry etched into his the lines around his eyes. “What about you?”
“Me?” he asks, breathless and barely smiling. “I love you. That’s what about me.”
She stares up at him, watches his chest rise with a long, kept breath, and then she jumps forward to hug him hard. She holds on tight, not wanting to let go, because the prospect that they’re both here, that they both love her, is more than she can stand and she can’t bear to end this moment.
Except Jared then clears his throat and rises from the bed; she worries he thinks it’s only about Jensen, but it never was. Danneel lets go of Jensen only to latch onto Jared so hard that they wobble then fall to the bed when he loses his balance. She laughs and looks down at his face, pink with surprise.
Just a second later, Jensen jumps onto the bed and flings himself over Danneel. Jared laughs and groans under the weight of them both, until Danneel shuffles to the side and relaxes with them both.
The next morning, Jared walks Danneel to Chemistry third period and Jensen meets her after sixth-period Gym on the way to American Lit. She is certain on the outside it would appear nothing has changed, but there is something more in the air between them all. She’s more aware of the heat of them when they stand just a few inches closer, when Jensen’s fingers dangle down near her hand to lightly touch, or when Jared hugs her a little tighter as they walk down the hall.
She’s excited to get to her locker at the end of the day, to see them both and start the afternoon together, but only Jared shows up.
Danneel glances around and tries not to appear disappointed. “Where’s Jensen?”
“Josh is picking him up. They’ve got some family dinner at his grandma’s.”
“Oh, okay,” she says as lightly as possible. “So, just you and me, huh?”
“Don’t look so excited.” Jared winks then takes her backpack to hold it open so she can take books out and put others in for homework. “What do you have on your plate today?”
Danneel shrugs as she pulls her backpack on. “I don’t know. Maybe an afternoon walk with a cute guy?”
Jared puts his elbow out for her wrap her hand around and leads her down the hallway. “I’m definitely your man for that.”
She’s a bit delirious to walk home from school with Jared, but they behave like it’s any other day. He walks along the curb like it’s the balance beam while holding her hand out between them and she shuffles beside him in the street, all while they talk about classes and teachers and the mounds of homework they want to avoid.
He leads her to his house, and around to the backyard, pitching his backpack down at the roots of a large, overgrown tree. Without a word, he guides her to take her backpack off as well then holds his hands out, laced together, to pitch her up by her foot so she can grab one of the low branches.
Danneel sets her foot in his hold and her hands at his shoulders, bouncing her leg with his hands. Before they can really get going, she bites her lower lip and looks up at the tree. “You sure about this?”
“As sure as the sky is blue.”
Back to Jared, she finds a soft look on his face and then feels a distinct swirl in her stomach, filling her with her nerves. She blames it on the height, a bit afraid to start climbing up high no matter how many times they dive off their cliff. It’s a new feeling to climb up than to free fall down.
“You’ll be fine,” he assures. “Just a few feet up and I’ll be right behind you.”
She holds her breath and briefly closes her eyes before pushing hard off Jared’s feet and jumping up to grab the nearest branch. She climbs up the trunk of the tree and eventually pulls herself up to stand while holding the branch above. Seconds later, Jared is following and nudges her to climb to the level up, supporting her feet and back as she climbs up.
Before long, they’re nearly halfway up the tree and shadowed by a dozen other branches and hundreds of leaves. Danneel sits down with her back against the trunk and legs dangling below. She does her best to not look down, but her eyes stray as she watches Jared lower himself to sit in front of her.
Jared shuffles even closer, knocking their knees together and slipping his hands against hers. “See, you’re good now,” he murmurs.
“I know,” she insists, even while she knows there’s a slight tremor to her fingers as she tries to calm down.
“Why’re you so nervous?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is it because you’re afraid of getting down?”
Danneel doesn’t want to, but her eyes once again betray her by stealing a peek below before she squeezes her eyes tightly. Behind eyelids, she can see how high they are and the longer she tries to convince herself it isn’t so bad, her imagination stretches and she feels as though she’s even higher up in the tree.
“That didn’t help, eh?” Jared asks with a weak laugh.
“Not at all,” she replies, reaching out to smack him and feeling jostled from her spot on the branch. She clamps her hand down on his forearm when she hits it and holds tightly, until she can steady herself. Even then, she continues to hold his arm and keeps her eyes closed.
“You’re fine.”
“No, I’m not,” she grumbles.
“It’s okay, Danny,” he whispers. “You’ll be okay.”
She opens her mouth to argue and bumps into Jared’s face. She flinches back but then he brings a hand up to her neck to keep her in place and kisses her, careful at first then with more pressure when she makes a soft noise. Jared tips his head and she tilts the other way to open her mouth wide to his and in seconds, her head is swimming for an entirely different reason. She’s shocked back to last weekend in her bed with the fresh scent of air flowing through her windows now surrounding her entirely in the tree. The taste of Jared bursts on her tongue and she quickly circles her tongue around his to chase the flavor and keep it locked in her brain.
Danneel leans forward, as well forward as she can without disrupting herself or him, and deepens the kiss the longer they go on. Jared rests his other hand at her waist, holding her as close as he can, which isn’t much, and she still holds on tight to his arms. She digs her fingernails into his skin as she relishes the continuous swirl of his tongue through her mouth and the steady glide of his lips over hers.
She realizes she hasn’t kissed anyone else since her last night in Louisiana; Justin had snuck into her bedroom to say goodbye in private and they’d made good use of the night hours to coast around the bases, but he hadn’t taken his time like Jared seems to now. Back in her bedroom, Justin had been all fearful impatience, not wanting to say goodbye yet wanting to get to that point as quickly as possible.
Jared, however, is taking his time and exploring her mouth, rubbing his thumb along her ear, and carefully swinging his feet behind hers to keep constant contact. It’s wonderful and terrible all at once because she grows dizzy with excitement and want, and when she shifts, she’s reminded of what little balance she has and that they’re in a tree, so she pulls back quickly and sucks in a long, noisy breath.
Belatedly, Jared opens his eyes and catches her reaction. He shifts back and lets go of her immediately, looking hurt and guilty. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that … to get carried away … I should have asked you-”
“Stop,” Danneel orders harshly then giggles and leans forward to kiss him briefly. “Don’t you dare apologize for kissing the daylights outta me.”
Jared tips his forehead to hers, gaze sliding down to her mouth, and smiles as he puts his hands back on her hips. “So, you’re not offended?”
She rubs her nose along his and bites the corner of her lip. “I’m only offended you’re doing it up here, when that’s all we can do.”
His eyes widen then he smirks and kisses down her cheek. “Then I am thoroughly sorry for that, you have no idea.”
Danneel leans into another kiss that’s just as thrilling as the last one, yet only lasts half the time. She pulls back, runs her hands down the front of his shirt, and grabs at the cotton as she leans back against the tree trunk. Glancing around, Danneel smiles because the view makes her think they’re cocooned in a forest, and she thoroughly appreciates Jared’s foresight on that.
“Maybe I’m not so offended we’re up here,” she says with a leading tone. “It is pretty cool.”
Jared runs his hands up her arms, over her shoulders, and down her sides. “I’m glad the lady approves.”
“It’s pretty cool to be alone and all that.”
“It is,” he agrees with a nod.
When his fingers curl into the fabric of her thermal top, she makes a split-second decision yanks the shirt up and off, leaving it draped in her lap. She’s left in just a bra and quite chilly for January. Jared is appropriately shocked, and she wants to joke that there wasn’t much left to imagine when her thermal was fitted, but she’s more interested in the way his fingertips lightly coast over her bare shoulders and down her collarbone until he drags one finger down a bra strap.
Jared brings his hand back up to her face, palm warm against her cheek, and he stares at her. “You are beautiful.”
Danneel flushes and thinks of covering herself up again; his eyes are searching hers, he’s not even looking at her chest like she wanted him to.
“I mean it,” he insists then brings his hands up like they’re shielding her chest. “From the neck up, you’re absolutely gorgeous.”
She laughs when he starts to smile. “Only the neck up?”
“Well, I mean, if you’re forcing me to look, then I will. I’m a man of honor, ya know?”
“Since when?”
“Since a nice, young, innocent young lady disrobed.”
With another laugh, Danneel swats his arms down then brings his hands to her waist. She feels a shock of warmth when his fingers curl around the curve of her ribcage and as they travel up until they’re touching the sides of her bra. She sees his Adam’s apple bob when he gulps and she wants to laugh once more, but instead can only nod to his earnest, hopeful look.
Jared’s hands shift up to cup her breasts, large hands taking the weight of them, and he gently squeezes while looking between them and her face.
She nods again to keep him going because now she can feel warm spread into her legs, little shocks running under her skin when his thumb rubs over her nipple. Her mouth goes dry, Pavlovian for another kiss, so she leans into his hands, encourages him to squeeze and rub at her breasts more insistently, and pulls him into a kiss that she hopes tells him just how much she likes his hands on her. He whimpers when she pushes her tongue deep into his mouth and strokes along the roof of his mouth, and she’s certain he’s got the idea.
As she shifts closer, the branch rubs between her legs and she instantly wishes they were anywhere else but here. She grumbles and stops the kiss, fondly smiling at Jared’s lost look when he realizes she’s moving out of reach of his mouth.
“But I wasn’t done,” he jokingly whines.
She pets his head, stroking through his hair. “I know, but we can’t make out in the tree all night.”
Jared moves his legs and grimaces. “Yeah, my ass is getting kinda sore.” Then he frowns at his lap and she sees that he’s distraught over the fact that he now has a hard-on. “I can’t get down now.”
Danneel knows she shouldn’t laugh, and the noise she makes comes out more like an sympathetic sob.
Inside Jared’s house, he puts his sister in front of the TV with the Disney channel blaring then leads Danneel up to his room and locks the door. He takes his shirt right off and his chest rises and falls quickly as he looks over her, and she quickly pulls her shirt off as well.
He all but tackles her to the bed and they’re laughing together until he kisses her hard and twists his hips against hers, nudging her legs apart so he can lie between them. Danneel feels the hard press of him between her legs and she wraps her legs around his hips and rocks up against him.
Jared moans into her mouth and pushes down against her again, wrapping his arms even tighter around her. He slows himself and lifts away from the kiss as he combs through her hair. “Have you ever done this before?”
Danneel licks her lips; she wasn’t necessarily expecting much more than this, right now, but her heart beats a little faster just thinking of it. “Yeah, back home.”
“So I’m not scaring you? Going too fast?”
“No, you’re not,” she assures him, running her hands up and down his smooth, warm back. “What about you? Or Jensen?”
He blushes and drops his head, hair shadowing most of his face. “Yeah, both of us.”
Danneel immediately thinks of last night at Jensen’s house, when she found them both shirtless. “Together?”
With a short nod, Jared admits, “Yeah, together. We were both our firsts.”
She chuckles and brushes hair away from his face, thumbing his cheek and nose then lips. “When I first got here, when I first noticed you two, I swore you were together.”
“Not really, or officially, or anything.” Jared shrugs and still won’t look at her. “And then there’s you, too.”
Instead of forcing him to explain, she pulls him down to kiss, long and slow, and then she rocks her hips to the same steady rhythm of her tongue winding with his.
Jared moves faster against her, denim scratching against denim and not giving them enough. Danneel’s ready to point that out, even when she’s not sure she’s ready to go all the way with him, just one day after they’ve all come to this agreement, but then the bed squeaks loudly and they both freeze.
“We should probably do something else,” she mumbles against his mouth. “Before it gets too loud.”
He drops his head to her chest and she gets a better idea than just stopping all together. She reaches down between them and undoes his belt. He lifts his hips and seems confused, shocked even, but lets her get the belt and jeans open before slipping his underwear down and pulling his dick out with a slow stroke.
“Oh, God, Danneel,” he pants, clenching his eyes shut.
She thinks he might come in a matter of seconds, being a teenage boy, and all that. A small part of her relishes the idea of making him come so quickly so she pulls fast and quick on his cock until he rocks forward and comes on her stomach with a harsh, bitten-off shout.
He rolls to the side with a mumbled apology and she turns to face him.
“You’re sorry for what?”
Jared grabs tissues off his bedside table and wipes away his come with a frown. “I don’t know. For coming so quickly. For coming on you? It’s all pretty embarrassing.”
Danneel is thinking the exact opposite as she’s still warm all over and reliving the way his body tensed against hers. “I don’t think it was. It was kinda hot.”
“Really?” he asks, looking up, hopeful. “Jensen usually mocks me when I do that. But I couldn’t …”
“Help yourself?” she teases. She shifts closer and nips his bottom lip. “Don’t be embarrassed. I probably make awful decisions when I’m about to do that, too.”
Jared suddenly seems serious when he stares at her and runs his hand down her hip and around to the front, slipping between her legs to push against her jeans. “I wanna know that. For sure.”
Danneel nods for permission and he unbuttons her jeans and slides his hand into the front of her panties, fingers immediately rubbing at her clit. There’s no real finesse-Danneel wonders if Jensen is Jared’s only experience-but she’s young, too, and doesn’t know much aside from the frantic ways Justin did it. Jared is soft and careful about it, fingertips slipping back and forth over her pussy, which is growing wet and hot.
He kisses her as his fingers get more insistent and she whimpers into his mouth, unable to kiss him back as her muscles begin to tense up. She brings her leg up against his, pressing against his knee and grabbing his elbow as she can feel herself losing control. Biting hard at her lower lip, Danneel shuts her eyes as her orgasm takes over, making her shiver and twist even closer to him.
When he pulls his hand away, she flinches, and he instantly looks sorry. “Was that okay?”
She chuckles and moves forward to force him to his back so she can lie against his chest. “It was more than okay. It was really great.”
Jared holds her tightly and rocks a few times with the hug. “I’ll have to tell Jensen, then. He’s always mocking me for not knowing more, about girls and stuff.”
In a second, Danneel freezes and thinks of Jensen, wonders what he’s doing right now, what he’d think of them messing around without him.
Danneel hears a hearty “Good morning!” as soon as she’s shut the front door.
She adjusts her backpack and slowly turns to Jensen walking towards her. It’s the first time he’s met her before school and she’s instantly paranoid that he’s come to confront her about what happened with Jared last night.
“Hi, how are you?” she asks tightly before he takes her hand and pulls her down the sidewalk and out onto the street.
He swings their hands together and watches for a clearing in traffic before they cross. “I’m okay, a little tired. My grandparents wouldn’t stop giving me crap last night and then I had a European History paper to write.”
Danneel frowns and adjusts her hand in his. “Did you need help with it?”
“No, it’s fine,” he insists with a smile. “I gotta figure out how to get by without you some time, right?”
She frowns again and walks a bit slower, which of course gets his attention.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“You know about Jared, don’t you?”
“What about Jared?” Jensen steps closer and takes both of her hands, fingers threading with hers. “Why do you look so upset?”
There’s guilt and pain and the feelings of utter stupidity running through her right now, and she can’t figure out how to best tell him without tearing out his heart.
“Oh, you mean last night and Jared?” he asks. “Yeah, he told me about some things.”
She looks between his eyes, checks his entire face, and while he’s not entirely joyful at the point, he doesn’t look wrecked. “You’re not pissed off? Jealous?”
Jensen glances away, takes a deep breath, and watches their hands swing a little between them. “I’m a little jealous that he got to spend time with you. I wish I was there instead of being stuck with my grandma’s lectures on not playing baseball or bothering with theater like I did in junior high. But overall it’s fine.” He looks at her and his eyes are wide and unbearably green. “As long as I get to have some time with you, too?”
Danneel instantly smiles and nods. “Of course. And I wish you were there, too.”
“Okay then, good.” He leans forward and kisses her, short and sweet but more than enough right now. “C’mon then,” he insists, pulling her forward and jogging through a few back yards. “Or we’ll be late for school.”
Clutching his hand, she follows his lead.
part three