R | Twinkies, and Pizza, and Red Ropes, Oh My!
Title: Twinkies, and Pizza, and Red Ropes, Oh My!
Rating: R - language and barely-sex
Summary: They've been together five years now, friends for a total of ten, but there are still some things they can't agree on.
Notes: Um, lame, but I made a minor change to the title. And, uh, apologies to the 'kid' in here for making him a delinquent. This wasn't supposed to be angsty, so MOAR apologies. But I still think it's golden. Part of the Animal 'Verse, but it's not pertinent you read that (except that it's awesome so you totally should). Posting in its entirety for those who are new to the story.
There’s a lot that Jensen’s had to deal with since living with Jared. The least of which, truth be told, is his gas and penchant for eating Harley’s weight in food. He could handle those things because they’re guys and it happens (though the regularity with which Jared does it is quite troubling. Then there’s the whole thing with Jared’s insistence to extend their family to include any animal they pass in their lives, and Jensen is constantly worried that he’ll walk in with a zebra or dolphin. Now that they are, like, together, he has to deal with the suffocating heat of cuddling with the guy. But really, at the moment, Jensen is fighting so adamantly to just smack Jared upside the head and hope it’s hard enough for a concussion. Because he cannot deal.
“C’mon, Jen,” he nearly whines.
“You are clearly insane,” Jensen replies with an angry gruff to his voice as he continues flipping through his Brookstone catalog. Ohh, anti-snore pillow he peps up with the thought. Perfect for Jared.
“We could do it. And think about the humanitarian aspects of it all.”
Jensen flashes a look over his shoulder to Jared, who is perched on the counter, peeling an orange and just shucking the pieces into the sink. “Dude.”
“What?”
“There’s a garbage fucking under the sink. C’mon.”
Jared makes a face and defends, “I’m gonna toss it when I'm done.”
He marches over, yanking the can from the cabinet and drops it to the floor between Jared’s legs. He gives a stern face and points right into it then goes back to the island to flip, noisily, through the catalog.
“OCD,” Jared sing-songed.
And okay, Jensen has ideas on how things should run in the house, and he’s found himself further invested since that day they kissed out on the grass and then fucked like rabbits (Jesus, he thinks, that just has the worst connotation now that they have Ginny). And he knows that it’s really not that big of a deal because Jared will take care of it (even if it takes a few hours). But right here, right now, he’s so incredibly annoyed by Jared and his wild ideas, that he’s focusing on anything else just so they don’t have to have the conversation.
“You know, you say yes, and we’d have, like, a servant to take care of my orange peels.”
“You know,” Jensen starts sarcastically. “You could just do it yourself.” Ohh he sighs happily at the i-need Neck and Shoulder Massager. He fucking needs one right now.
“Jensen, c’mon,” Jared says. And Jensen’s alarmed at the seriousness below the soft way the words hit him. “Can we just … ?”
Jensen stares at the page he’s on. It’s advertising various digital photo frames, each one showing off a happily smiling family - wife, husband, three darling children, all smiles, each one of them. His stomach clenches just before his heart taps a quick beat. “I think I hear my phone,” he mumbles and leaves the room.
*
Jared lets the conversation drop for a few days and Jensen’s entirely too thankful. They take the dogs for a walk and when Jared spots a puppy, he laments over Harley and Sadie’s babies that Jared’d actually agreed to find homes for. “Aww, she looks just like Janis.”
Jensen smirks, because the puppy certainly doesn’t, but Jared’s not above loose comparisons. And there’s a sweetness in his voice that overrules any bit of sadness at only having four animals in the house instead of nine. He slips his hand into Jared’s and Jared squeezes right back. “Think you need glasses.”
“Yeah, then maybe you’ll look good to me.”
“Ouch,” Jensen chuckles.
Jared laughs with a big grin and leans over to kiss Jensen. He does that a lot. Jensen likes it a lot. When he pulls back, his eyes soften and his mouth twists, but he doesn’t say anything.
They keep walking, quiet, and Jensen thinks happily. There’s an odd grunt beside him and he sees Jared dipping his head down and watching his feet move across the sidewalk. When he looks up, he watches Harley ahead of him with a strange twist to his face. Jensen bumps his elbow before even considering what’s wrong.
He looks over and goes for a smile but it’s a bit too small for this day that started with bright sunshine, lazy kissing, and an even lazier, easy walk. “Can we just talk about it?”
Jensen sighs unhappily and swings his head away. “Man.”
“No, come on,” Jared insists with emotion in his voice. He stops and tugs on Jensen’s hand so they face each other. “It’s been a long time.”
He chuckles awkwardly. “Well, now it sounds like a prison sentence.”
Jared just stares.
Jensen sighs, looking around them and is amazed that Sadie and Harley are seated easily in the grass and not tugging on them, as usual. Maybe they feel how important this really is. Jensen rattles on suddenly, “Look, you think because I don’t wanna talk about it that I don’t wanna be here. I’m not ditching you. I know that’s your problem.”
He pushes at Jensen’s shoulder. “I don’t think you’re gonna ditch me, you asshole.”
Jensen’s shoulders push up in a shrug and they stay high. “Then what’s your problem?”
“I just want to discuss it. The possibility.”
His head tips back on another sigh. Jensen thinks about all the things he’s let pass in their relationship, but then he gets a tiny smile with the crazy memories of Jared playing nurse to the deer, or how pitiful he was when Sadie was pregnant. They’re the most ridiculous things he’s ever experienced and he can’t believe Jared’s taking it one step further. Jensen scratches the back of his head. “Possibility? Yeah, in the future. Maybe. Sometime,” he manages, rather pathetically. He’s not proud of himself.
Jared stares with pursed lips and Jensen knows he’s pissed at that response. But he can’t take it back so he just stares back. Jared looks to the dogs and shakes his head. “You think the dogs’ll trample it, don’t you?” he lamely jokes. “Like they’ll eat it? So stupid, Jensen.”
Jensen pushes his hands out and is oddly reminded that they’ve been holding hands this whole time, and it warms his stomach for a quick second. He waves them around as he talks, but won’t let go. “That’s not even it, okay? Our lives are crazy enough as it is and you want add one more to the house? Who the hell’s gonna be around to take care of it? You? You barely manage the animals on your own.”
Nodding his head, Jared purses his lips again. “Right, so you think I’m not responsible enough?”
“Not what I’m saying,” he says level. He is proud of himself for that.
“But you’re not saying anything about it. That’s what’s pissing me off,” Jared shoots back, growing loud and angry. “If you don’t want to, then just fucking say it.”
It’s contagious because Jensen nearly booms, “This isn’t some fucking pet. It’s a kid, Jared!”
And there it is, and Jensen’s amazed he’s even said it because he’d successfully avoided it since the first time Jared brought it up.
Jared seethes. “What is it? Why don’t you want one?”
“It’s not that,” he complains. Because it really isn’t. But he’s not exactly willing to admit what it is, even to himself.
“What then? Got issue with it because you can’t have one?”
Jensen shoots back, “I could have one, alright?”
There’s a high pitched laugh and then Jared breaks bitterly, “Really? Last I checked you liked dick.”
It’s making him uncomfortable, and it’s pretty obvious, but he doesn’t back down. “I’m just saying, there’s a possibility out there.”
“Got a vagina on loan I don’t know about?”
“Jared,” he huffs. Then he takes a deep breath and looks around them. “Just … no. I’m not like holding out for that. I’m just saying … it’s not that I couldn’t if I didn’t want to.” Jared shrugs with a pissy expression and Jensen nearly yells, “I don’t have shitty swimmers, alright? Don’t insult my guys.”
There’s more high laughter and Jared just shakes his head. “You’re a fucking piece of work. You that worried about your semen, maybe you should stop wasting your loads on me.”
“Jared? Fuck,” Jensen mutters and can’t even look at him.
Jared just shakes his head and they go on in silence.
Jensen sleeps on the couch that night, of his own accord, just because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment in Jared’s eyes.
*
The next afternoon, Jared strolls into the kitchen and seems pretty happy, all things considered. Jensen tries a “Mornin’” around his munches of cereal, but a stream of milk leaks down his chin. He slurps as he tries to stop any more from coming down. Jared quickly reaches and swipes it off with a tiny smile. “Hey,” Jensen says after he’s swallowed the food he was chewing.
Jared leans on the counter, peeling a banana. “So, I asked Colin to visit for the weekend.”
Jensen watches Jared’s hand as it pinches the banana peel and reaches near the sink, but then he moves back, opening the cabinet and tossing it into the garbage can. Jensen smirks.
“That okay?” Jared asks easily.
He frowns a little. “Colin?”
“Yeah. Though it’d be cool to have him over for a day or so. Just hang out, play some Xbox?”
Jensen leans forward in the stool, pressing his forearms into the island. “Colin who?”
He chews large around his banana and mumbles, “Little Sam.”
There’s a few seconds thought then Jensen looks even more confused. “You still callin’ him that?”
Jared shrugs with a smirk.
Jensen scratches the back of his head and asks oddly, “You invited Colin over?”
“Yeah,” he sounds out over another chew of banana.
“Sure his mom doesn’t think we’re a bunch of creepers?”
“Dude, she loves me.”
“Don’t know why,” Jensen replies with a flipped eyebrow as he gets up and puts his bowl in the sink. He stops and looks up on Jared, and the guy looks so settled and normal, like there was no issue stewing between them. Jensen likes that look, so he runs a hand at the hem of Jared’s tee then tugs him close for a kiss. Jared smells and tastes of the fruit, and it’s pretty nice. “You really invited him over?”
“Yeah,” Jared shrugs easily. Then he tacks on. “You know the kid’s never had a Twinkie. That’s just messed up.”
Jensen laughs. “Yeah, you better remedy that situation real quick.”
“Fully my intention.”
*
It’s the day. The day for the Little Sam visit, and Jared couldn’t be more keyed up. He tries to hide it, not wanting Jensen to give him the rolly eyes and pinched mouth face that he always dishes out. There’s no reason for it, no reason, and Jared just wants to enjoy this weekend and prove to Jensen that they can handle a human in the house.
So when Jared hears the car pulling into the driveway, he jumps from the couch and eagerly calls out, “He’s here!” like it was the President of the United States. Or Santa. He settles on the porch, leaning on the banister and trying so hard to hide his grin and act normal.
But it amps up when he feels Jensen lean in with a hand around his back, resting at his hip. “You excited?”
Jared tries to lower the butterflies that are flipping through his stomach and rising to break through his esophagus. It’s impossible as they watch the SUV and try to manage a peak through the tinted windows, wondering what was going inside and when Colin was going to come out. “I’m fine,” Jared mumbles.
Jensen’s hand squeezes and they both wait. And wait. “He coming out or what?”
“I don’t know, man. Maybe his mom’s giving him rules. Like ‘don’t wipe your snots on the couch, belch into your elbow,’ you know?”
He squeezes again. “I think it’s cough into your elbow.”
Jared snorts, “Like either are bad ideas?”
“Nah, it’s all good advice,” Jensen says with a smirk.
And then it happens. The back door opens and they see two legs flip out of the car and land quickly, then a head comes out and … it reaches well above the car door and Jared’s mouth pops open.
“Um,” Jensen mumbles as his hand loosens at Jared’s waist. He can hear Jared’s heavy gulp and he squeezes back. “You, uh. When’s the last time you talked to him?”
“Tuesday.”
“Before that.”
Jared clears his throat and manages a lame, “Season Four.”
Because, truth be told, Jared’s kind of freaking out as he stares at the … kid … coming up the drive and smirking at them. Gone are the moppy hair, pale skin, and shy smile. There’s 6-plus feet of teenager ambling up to them with a smirk. “What’s up, guys? Long time, no see.”
Jared just stares, unable to respond to the sight, so it’s Jensen that moves forward, offering Colin a hug-pat deal and pulling back with a smile. “Look at you, kid.”
Colin rubs at the back of his neck and smirks - Jesus, Jared thinks, this kid is huge. “Yeah, growth spurt, ya know?”
Jensen laughs and smacks Jared’s back with a push of sarcasm. “Ain’t so much Little Sam anymore.”
“Little Sam?” Colin asks oddly. “C’mon, guys. I didn’t even like that when I was little.” He faces Jared outright and tries to smile, but it’s uncomfortable. “What’s up, Jared?”
He finally snaps out of it and laughs at himself. “Dude, c’mere.” They’re hugging a little firmer than Jensen had, and Jared’s trying to convince himself it’s because he filmed a few times with Colin and he’d always played with him on set, trying to bond over being the same character. But it’s really because he’s afraid to pull back and see the near-adult face stare back at him. Yeah, he’s a chicken.
“Alright,” Colin laughs, trying to pull back.
It takes Jensen’s help on grabbing Jared’s hands to get them to stop hugging. “Forgive him. He hasn’t had any sugar yet today.”
“Really?” Colin laughs again. “Still like that?”
Jensen guides him into the house with a chuckle. “If you only knew.”
*
Jared, thankfully, recovers after that, and winds up cracking jokes about how Colin truly was the best representation for a character Jared also played because now they’re both taller than small buildings and handsome as fuck. Except he doesn’t say fuck. Not in front of Colin, because even if the kid is now 17, there is no way he wants Jensen to think he’s not going to watch his mouth in front of company.
In the kitchen, alone with Jensen to grab sodas, he does react. “Holy fuck! He’s huge.”
Jensen laughs. “What? You think they stay that size? And you wonder why I said no.”
“Shit, c’mon,” Jared whines, not sure if he wants to address Jensen’s joke or the real jab beneath it. He decides to ignore them both. He is mature. “I mean, I don’t know. I just had this image. Little Sam.”
“You can stop calling me that!” Colin calls from the family room, where they’d left him in front of the mammoth TV to pick out what Xbox games they should fight to the death on. They can hear the humor in his voice when he adds, “I’m neither little nor Sam.”
“Got it,” Jared replies. “He’s really not little,” he says to Jensen with a bit of panic.
“I can still hear you,” Colin yells with a tease.
Jensen makes a little, amused huh sound. “Seems more like Little Jared to me.”
Then Colin whines, “Can I not be Little Anyone? That’d be awesome.”
Jensen smirks then drops his voice to mock Jared. “He is so you. I can’t stand it.”
“You can’t stand that there’s a 17-year-old in our house that should be 13?”
He straightens and eyes Jared with a poorly hid smile. “I can’t stand that you thought this was the way to convince me, and now you’re being punished.” Jensen pushes two cans of soda into Jared’s palms. “Have fun,” and he walks away.
“Jen,” Jared whines after him. But it’s a lost cause.
Colin steps into the doorway. “Everything cool?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course,” Jared smiles, trying to cover up. “You pick something out?”
*
They play for hours, battling each other in so many different games, and it’s pretty equal to who wins what. And then they team up for Rock Band, scoring insanely high points because Colin apparently does nothing but play this in his trailer in between filming scenes, at home, in his sleep. Jared’s a cross between amazed and bitterly jealous because he seems to have lost his touch here and the kid is showing him up.
But when they’re kicking ass at so many classic rock songs, he’s high-fiving Colin and jumping around like they actually just finished a set at the House of Blues to hundreds of adoring fans. And Jared gets a high like he hasn’t felt since … well, when not considering Jensen, he’s not sure that it doesn’t date back to Super Nintendo with Jeff in the basement of their parents’ house when neither of them could reach into the kitchen cupboards. Jared realizes, with a tiny tickle in his stomach, that this is what having a younger brother is like and he beams at the thought.
Colin’s chewing a Red Rope that’s dangling down his chest, slowly getting smaller as time goes on. He mumbles around it without taking his eyes off the run of notes or breaking his lightning fast fingers on the guitar. “Dude, I’m hungry.”
“Got some Twinkies.”
“Already had three,” he laughs. “Something else?”
“Ice cream.”
“Dude. Real food.”
“Pizza?” Jared asks without stopping his play either.
“Wings, too?”
“For sure,” he smirks. Then he yells, “Jensen! Pizza?!”
“Dude,” Jensen replies from the couch. “I’m right here.”
Jared looks over his shoulder from where he and Colin had been standing in the center of the room. His eyebrows crinkle, but then he smiles. “Oh, hey.”
“Hey.”
He turns back to the TV as Colin picks a new song to play. “Did you wanna play?”
“No, I’m good here.”
While starting up a Pearl Jam song, he mumbles, “Can you order pizza?”
“And wings,” Colin adds, also not looking at Jensen.
“Hot wings.” Then Jared breaks with an amazed voice, “Shit, you just nailed that star power.”
“Heck yeah,” Colin grins in return.
Jared starts making little da, da, da noises along to the beat and he’s rocking back and forth on his feet as he pounds out the bass line. “Pizza and wings. That good?”
“Poppers.”
“Fuck, yeah,” Jared smiles. “Jalapeno poppers. Jen, you got all that?”
“Yeah, I got it,” he mutters as he gets off the couch to the kitchen.
“Awesome.”
Colin drops in, quite subtly, really, “Got beer?”
“Yeah, in the fridge,” Jared responds while Jensen argues, “No!”
That makes him stop, and Jared drops his hands as he turns to Jensen. “Huh?”
“Underage,” Jensen practically whispers, but he exaggerates the shapes of his mouth and Jared reads it. Jared doesn’t respond. He just stares back like he doesn’t get why Jensen would care about that. Jensen sighs and waves Jared over as he moves further into the kitchen.
Jared follows and instantly shrugs. “What? Kid’s 17, I’m sure he’s had beer before.”
“I have,” Colin calls out.
“He has,” Jared nods.
Jensen laughs bitterly, scratching just above his eye. “Yeah, okay. We’re not contributing to further delinquency. Alright? And quite frankly, this scares me for your parenting technique.”
“What? We’re just hanging out. Like buddies.”
“Right,” Jensen nods. “Buddies. Like the kind of buddy you invite over to prove to me that can handle a child - ”
“Well, not exactly,” Jared cuts in.
“Which you are so failing at right now,” Jensen finishes.
Jared whines, “No, c’mon. Rules changed when he turned out to be 17.” And then he just stares, hoping Jensen lets it go and just gets on board with the moment. Because he thinks back to being 15 when Jeff had a house party and let Jared stick around while feeding him his first-ever beer, and a few more, and more. And yeah, okay, Jared threw up in his mom’s potted plant, but it was definitely a bonding experience.
“He was always 17. You just didn’t realize kids grow up.”
“Dude, c’mon.” Jared tips his head to the side. “Remember when Josh first gave you a beer? It was cool, right?”
“Yeah, no,” Jensen replies, patting his palm at Jared’s chest before walking away.
“Are you still ordering pizza?”
*
Jared and Colin stay up until three in the morning, battling more with Call of Duty and Resident Evil. They even break out some old school Mortal Kombat for an hour or so. Jared’s exhausted, but still feels like he’s buzzing from the competition when gets to bed.
He slides in behind Jensen, reaching an arm over his body, and nuzzles the back of his neck. Jensen turns a little, pushing his body back to Jared’s and bringing his head around so Jared can kiss him. In moments, Jared’s cupping Jensen, rubbing his dick, and Jensen’ sleepily moving into the hand. Then he pushes it away and sits up against the headboard, rubbing at his eyes. “Dude, no.”
“Dude, yes,” Jared murmurs as he moves back in, but Jensen nudges him away again. “You were just … I was …”
“Colin.”
“I am not asking him to join us.”
“What?” Jensen nearly shouts. “You are … you are fried in the head, man,” he adds, pushing at Jared’s head. “We’re not having sex with him here.”
“What? Why not?”
Jensen rubs both palms over his face, pushing the heels into his eyes. “Because A, it’s a kid. B, it’s company. C, it’s a kid.”
“Uh, he’s 17. I’m sure he’s had sex before and can sympathize with me.”
“Dude,” Jensen gripes. “Don’t make me think about Colin having sex.”
Jared sits up next to Jensen and stretches before rubbing his fingers into the back of his head, scruffing up so much hair but not even caring because his yawn is a great relief in the moment and it puts a goofy ease back into his voice. “We really can’t have sex tonight?”
“No,” Jensen replies, pushing his head back into the padded headboard.
“Just because he’s here?”
“Yes.”
There’s a small sigh before Jared says, “That’s bogus.”
Jensen’s head lolls over and he stares at Jared for a few moments. “What do you think happens when you have kids?”
“People still have sex. How do you think we have siblings?” Duh Jared thinks.
“Dude.”
“What now?”
Jensen pushes at Jared’s head. “Making me think of my mama having sex with my dad.”
Jared laughs at it, because it is kind of funny, and he’s been up for nearly 24 hours straight, existing on pizza, candy, and Red Bull. He’s a little slaphappy. But then it’s quiet and neither of them are moving from their positions, and he thinks that with the room still dark, Jensen will actually have the conversation. “So … you really don’t want kids.”
His head tips back and he sighs before covering his face with his hands. “It’s not that,” he mumbles at his palms.
With a tip of his elbow, Jared tries a light tease, “You worried what people will think because we’re not married?”
Jensen gives him a tired look.
“We can get married, you know?” Jared’s not only surprised by Jensen’s odd stare, but also at the fact he even just said that. They’d once talked about it, and it seemed like they didn’t have to. That they could just exist in the relationship as is … it’s just that, Jared wanted to add child to the list of things in their life, things to have together. And that’s when everything fell down.
“You know that’s not my problem.”
“Then what is it?”
He sighs and looks back up to the ceiling.
It’s quiet for a long while and Jared’s ready to just slide back down to the mattress and pretend it was never an issue - between them or even for him to do this. So, Jared jokes, “Guess my biological clock’s bigger than yours.” Jensen looks over, and Jared smirks. “It’s fine. Not the only thing bigger than yours.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Jensen groans with a slight smile.
Jared shrugs with a cocky face. “S’not.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“Hey, it’s fine,” Jared says pathetically, trying to sound fine, but he so isn’t. He leans over with a quick kiss to the corner of Jensen’s mouth then settles under the covers. His eyes are closed and he’s trying to fall sleep, but he’s concentrating on Jensen, who hasn’t moved down yet.
And Jensen sits there for quite a while. Jared’s not sure how long it really is, but it has to be a good amount of time. “I want to see one of us in it.”
Jared shifts, looking over his shoulder, not ignoring how Jensen is looking clear across the room or how his voice is so quiet and rough, like it takes all his energy to admit it.
“In him or her,” he corrects with a bit of softness. “God. We keep saying ‘it.’ Like an inanimate object.”
He carefully rolls and sits back up, trying to not disturb the moment or Jensen’s stream of words.
Jensen’s legs pull up and press into his chest while his hands stay in his lap. He seems to stare at the tiptop of his knees, still unable to look at Jared. “If we have one, I want to look at him - her - and know they’re ours.”
Jared’s breathing seems loud in the quiet of the room, and there are so many thoughts ravaging him, but he’s mesmerized by Jensen’s confession. And even more with the realization that he really wants that, too. Has always wanted it, but a while ago, when Jared realized that he wanted to love a man for the rest of his life, he’d stowed it away as wishful thinking.
“And maybe it’s me being bitter … but if I can’t have that?” Jensen’s shoulders draw up like he’s shrugging but they stay there and scream of insecurity. “Everything else seems like a lost cause. To not see you or me.”
He finally moves, shifting closer and leaning his forehead down to Jensen’s shoulder. “I would love to have that.” He feels Jensen’s shoulder drop back down, almost relaxed, and he wonders if it’s because Jensen’s finally said it all, or if it’s because he’s agreeing with Jensen. Jared shifts his head, resting his temple at the shoulder as he slinks his hand into Jensen’s lap to thread their fingers together. “We can get a surrogate,” he offers quietly.
Jensen’s head falls against Jared’s and his sigh is felt by them both. “Yeah,” he says, but Jared can hear the hesitation there.
“At least look into it,” he tries even quieter.
He doesn’t answer, but Jensen starts repositioning their hands, tucking his other hand around them and looking down at three hands curled together. “God, I feel like such a chick,” he tries to joke.
Jared chuckles at the ease that breaks between them. “Nah, it’s fine.” He leans closer with an arm going around Jensen’s chest and kisses at his jaw. Jared stays there, his forehead resting at Jensen’s cheek, but he closes his eyes and says, “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time about it. Before, you know.”
“Sorry I didn’t just say it.”
“It’s fine.” Jared tips back to kiss at the edge of Jensen’s chin then smirks. “You’re an angsty son of a bitch. I get it.”
“Oh, shut up,” Jensen argues, pushing Jared away.
But Jared can see the smile, so he moves right back in, wrapping his arms around Jensen and nuzzling his neck. “Since we’re not going immediately to the kid bank, can we still have sex?”
“When Colin’s gone.”
“Shit,” Jared winces then has a guilty smile. “I forgot he was still here.”
“Oh, my God,” Jensen complains. “You’re going to be an awful father.”
Jared squeezes at him. “That’s why I got Mama Jen to pick up the pieces.”
“I hate you.”
Jared laughs. “You so don’t, you fucker. You wanna have my babies.”
There’s a tight chuckle and Jensen seems to finally relax. “Can you imagine the horror?”
He raises his tee up and pushes out his stomach. “I would be hella sexy preggers.” Jensen easily reaches over, slapping a palm at Jared’s belly with a loud smack. “Ow, fucker,” Jared winces while laughing. “C’mere, you asshole.” And Jared jumps over Jensen, wrestling him down to the mattress. They’re both smiling and the fighting is playful as they tumble over the mattress, trying to shove the other guy off. It all feels like they hadn’t just had the most serious conversation of their entire relationship.
They slow down the fighting and then Jared dips down and starts kissing Jensen, pushing a leg between them. Jensen’s responding, but putting up a measly fight as he moves his head away to talk. “Jared, not now.”
Jared pulls back enough to look down on him with a grin. “You got a headache or something?”
Jensen grunts, “I’m not the fucking chick.”
His grin slips into a soft smile as he goes back to Jensen’s neck, kissing gently before he sucks just right forcing Jensen’s protests to weaken. “I promise I’ll be quiet,” he murmurs against Jensen’s throat.
Fingers thread through Jared’s hair and tug while the hand keeps Jared there. “I don’t.”
Jared moves up and stares down on him. There’s barely any light in the room but just enough to see Jensen watch him right back. His lips pull into a tiny smirk as he thinks about Jensen’s joke coupled with all they’d talked about just minutes ago. Five or more years ago, before they made out in the grass over baby pandas? Jared never thought this is where they’d end up. “You’re fucking awesome.”
“I know.”
“I’d marry you, you know. If that’s what you want.”
Jensen breathes deeply and shakes his head a little. “No, that’s not what I want.”
He moves back in, kissing gently before tipping his forehead to Jensen’s. “We’ll look into it.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen smiles back.
Rating: R - language and barely-sex
Summary: They've been together five years now, friends for a total of ten, but there are still some things they can't agree on.
Notes: Um, lame, but I made a minor change to the title. And, uh, apologies to the 'kid' in here for making him a delinquent. This wasn't supposed to be angsty, so MOAR apologies. But I still think it's golden. Part of the Animal 'Verse, but it's not pertinent you read that (except that it's awesome so you totally should). Posting in its entirety for those who are new to the story.
There’s a lot that Jensen’s had to deal with since living with Jared. The least of which, truth be told, is his gas and penchant for eating Harley’s weight in food. He could handle those things because they’re guys and it happens (though the regularity with which Jared does it is quite troubling. Then there’s the whole thing with Jared’s insistence to extend their family to include any animal they pass in their lives, and Jensen is constantly worried that he’ll walk in with a zebra or dolphin. Now that they are, like, together, he has to deal with the suffocating heat of cuddling with the guy. But really, at the moment, Jensen is fighting so adamantly to just smack Jared upside the head and hope it’s hard enough for a concussion. Because he cannot deal.
“C’mon, Jen,” he nearly whines.
“You are clearly insane,” Jensen replies with an angry gruff to his voice as he continues flipping through his Brookstone catalog. Ohh, anti-snore pillow he peps up with the thought. Perfect for Jared.
“We could do it. And think about the humanitarian aspects of it all.”
Jensen flashes a look over his shoulder to Jared, who is perched on the counter, peeling an orange and just shucking the pieces into the sink. “Dude.”
“What?”
“There’s a garbage fucking under the sink. C’mon.”
Jared makes a face and defends, “I’m gonna toss it when I'm done.”
He marches over, yanking the can from the cabinet and drops it to the floor between Jared’s legs. He gives a stern face and points right into it then goes back to the island to flip, noisily, through the catalog.
“OCD,” Jared sing-songed.
And okay, Jensen has ideas on how things should run in the house, and he’s found himself further invested since that day they kissed out on the grass and then fucked like rabbits (Jesus, he thinks, that just has the worst connotation now that they have Ginny). And he knows that it’s really not that big of a deal because Jared will take care of it (even if it takes a few hours). But right here, right now, he’s so incredibly annoyed by Jared and his wild ideas, that he’s focusing on anything else just so they don’t have to have the conversation.
“You know, you say yes, and we’d have, like, a servant to take care of my orange peels.”
“You know,” Jensen starts sarcastically. “You could just do it yourself.” Ohh he sighs happily at the i-need Neck and Shoulder Massager. He fucking needs one right now.
“Jensen, c’mon,” Jared says. And Jensen’s alarmed at the seriousness below the soft way the words hit him. “Can we just … ?”
Jensen stares at the page he’s on. It’s advertising various digital photo frames, each one showing off a happily smiling family - wife, husband, three darling children, all smiles, each one of them. His stomach clenches just before his heart taps a quick beat. “I think I hear my phone,” he mumbles and leaves the room.
*
Jared lets the conversation drop for a few days and Jensen’s entirely too thankful. They take the dogs for a walk and when Jared spots a puppy, he laments over Harley and Sadie’s babies that Jared’d actually agreed to find homes for. “Aww, she looks just like Janis.”
Jensen smirks, because the puppy certainly doesn’t, but Jared’s not above loose comparisons. And there’s a sweetness in his voice that overrules any bit of sadness at only having four animals in the house instead of nine. He slips his hand into Jared’s and Jared squeezes right back. “Think you need glasses.”
“Yeah, then maybe you’ll look good to me.”
“Ouch,” Jensen chuckles.
Jared laughs with a big grin and leans over to kiss Jensen. He does that a lot. Jensen likes it a lot. When he pulls back, his eyes soften and his mouth twists, but he doesn’t say anything.
They keep walking, quiet, and Jensen thinks happily. There’s an odd grunt beside him and he sees Jared dipping his head down and watching his feet move across the sidewalk. When he looks up, he watches Harley ahead of him with a strange twist to his face. Jensen bumps his elbow before even considering what’s wrong.
He looks over and goes for a smile but it’s a bit too small for this day that started with bright sunshine, lazy kissing, and an even lazier, easy walk. “Can we just talk about it?”
Jensen sighs unhappily and swings his head away. “Man.”
“No, come on,” Jared insists with emotion in his voice. He stops and tugs on Jensen’s hand so they face each other. “It’s been a long time.”
He chuckles awkwardly. “Well, now it sounds like a prison sentence.”
Jared just stares.
Jensen sighs, looking around them and is amazed that Sadie and Harley are seated easily in the grass and not tugging on them, as usual. Maybe they feel how important this really is. Jensen rattles on suddenly, “Look, you think because I don’t wanna talk about it that I don’t wanna be here. I’m not ditching you. I know that’s your problem.”
He pushes at Jensen’s shoulder. “I don’t think you’re gonna ditch me, you asshole.”
Jensen’s shoulders push up in a shrug and they stay high. “Then what’s your problem?”
“I just want to discuss it. The possibility.”
His head tips back on another sigh. Jensen thinks about all the things he’s let pass in their relationship, but then he gets a tiny smile with the crazy memories of Jared playing nurse to the deer, or how pitiful he was when Sadie was pregnant. They’re the most ridiculous things he’s ever experienced and he can’t believe Jared’s taking it one step further. Jensen scratches the back of his head. “Possibility? Yeah, in the future. Maybe. Sometime,” he manages, rather pathetically. He’s not proud of himself.
Jared stares with pursed lips and Jensen knows he’s pissed at that response. But he can’t take it back so he just stares back. Jared looks to the dogs and shakes his head. “You think the dogs’ll trample it, don’t you?” he lamely jokes. “Like they’ll eat it? So stupid, Jensen.”
Jensen pushes his hands out and is oddly reminded that they’ve been holding hands this whole time, and it warms his stomach for a quick second. He waves them around as he talks, but won’t let go. “That’s not even it, okay? Our lives are crazy enough as it is and you want add one more to the house? Who the hell’s gonna be around to take care of it? You? You barely manage the animals on your own.”
Nodding his head, Jared purses his lips again. “Right, so you think I’m not responsible enough?”
“Not what I’m saying,” he says level. He is proud of himself for that.
“But you’re not saying anything about it. That’s what’s pissing me off,” Jared shoots back, growing loud and angry. “If you don’t want to, then just fucking say it.”
It’s contagious because Jensen nearly booms, “This isn’t some fucking pet. It’s a kid, Jared!”
And there it is, and Jensen’s amazed he’s even said it because he’d successfully avoided it since the first time Jared brought it up.
Jared seethes. “What is it? Why don’t you want one?”
“It’s not that,” he complains. Because it really isn’t. But he’s not exactly willing to admit what it is, even to himself.
“What then? Got issue with it because you can’t have one?”
Jensen shoots back, “I could have one, alright?”
There’s a high pitched laugh and then Jared breaks bitterly, “Really? Last I checked you liked dick.”
It’s making him uncomfortable, and it’s pretty obvious, but he doesn’t back down. “I’m just saying, there’s a possibility out there.”
“Got a vagina on loan I don’t know about?”
“Jared,” he huffs. Then he takes a deep breath and looks around them. “Just … no. I’m not like holding out for that. I’m just saying … it’s not that I couldn’t if I didn’t want to.” Jared shrugs with a pissy expression and Jensen nearly yells, “I don’t have shitty swimmers, alright? Don’t insult my guys.”
There’s more high laughter and Jared just shakes his head. “You’re a fucking piece of work. You that worried about your semen, maybe you should stop wasting your loads on me.”
“Jared? Fuck,” Jensen mutters and can’t even look at him.
Jared just shakes his head and they go on in silence.
Jensen sleeps on the couch that night, of his own accord, just because he doesn’t want to see the disappointment in Jared’s eyes.
*
The next afternoon, Jared strolls into the kitchen and seems pretty happy, all things considered. Jensen tries a “Mornin’” around his munches of cereal, but a stream of milk leaks down his chin. He slurps as he tries to stop any more from coming down. Jared quickly reaches and swipes it off with a tiny smile. “Hey,” Jensen says after he’s swallowed the food he was chewing.
Jared leans on the counter, peeling a banana. “So, I asked Colin to visit for the weekend.”
Jensen watches Jared’s hand as it pinches the banana peel and reaches near the sink, but then he moves back, opening the cabinet and tossing it into the garbage can. Jensen smirks.
“That okay?” Jared asks easily.
He frowns a little. “Colin?”
“Yeah. Though it’d be cool to have him over for a day or so. Just hang out, play some Xbox?”
Jensen leans forward in the stool, pressing his forearms into the island. “Colin who?”
He chews large around his banana and mumbles, “Little Sam.”
There’s a few seconds thought then Jensen looks even more confused. “You still callin’ him that?”
Jared shrugs with a smirk.
Jensen scratches the back of his head and asks oddly, “You invited Colin over?”
“Yeah,” he sounds out over another chew of banana.
“Sure his mom doesn’t think we’re a bunch of creepers?”
“Dude, she loves me.”
“Don’t know why,” Jensen replies with a flipped eyebrow as he gets up and puts his bowl in the sink. He stops and looks up on Jared, and the guy looks so settled and normal, like there was no issue stewing between them. Jensen likes that look, so he runs a hand at the hem of Jared’s tee then tugs him close for a kiss. Jared smells and tastes of the fruit, and it’s pretty nice. “You really invited him over?”
“Yeah,” Jared shrugs easily. Then he tacks on. “You know the kid’s never had a Twinkie. That’s just messed up.”
Jensen laughs. “Yeah, you better remedy that situation real quick.”
“Fully my intention.”
*
It’s the day. The day for the Little Sam visit, and Jared couldn’t be more keyed up. He tries to hide it, not wanting Jensen to give him the rolly eyes and pinched mouth face that he always dishes out. There’s no reason for it, no reason, and Jared just wants to enjoy this weekend and prove to Jensen that they can handle a human in the house.
So when Jared hears the car pulling into the driveway, he jumps from the couch and eagerly calls out, “He’s here!” like it was the President of the United States. Or Santa. He settles on the porch, leaning on the banister and trying so hard to hide his grin and act normal.
But it amps up when he feels Jensen lean in with a hand around his back, resting at his hip. “You excited?”
Jared tries to lower the butterflies that are flipping through his stomach and rising to break through his esophagus. It’s impossible as they watch the SUV and try to manage a peak through the tinted windows, wondering what was going inside and when Colin was going to come out. “I’m fine,” Jared mumbles.
Jensen’s hand squeezes and they both wait. And wait. “He coming out or what?”
“I don’t know, man. Maybe his mom’s giving him rules. Like ‘don’t wipe your snots on the couch, belch into your elbow,’ you know?”
He squeezes again. “I think it’s cough into your elbow.”
Jared snorts, “Like either are bad ideas?”
“Nah, it’s all good advice,” Jensen says with a smirk.
And then it happens. The back door opens and they see two legs flip out of the car and land quickly, then a head comes out and … it reaches well above the car door and Jared’s mouth pops open.
“Um,” Jensen mumbles as his hand loosens at Jared’s waist. He can hear Jared’s heavy gulp and he squeezes back. “You, uh. When’s the last time you talked to him?”
“Tuesday.”
“Before that.”
Jared clears his throat and manages a lame, “Season Four.”
Because, truth be told, Jared’s kind of freaking out as he stares at the … kid … coming up the drive and smirking at them. Gone are the moppy hair, pale skin, and shy smile. There’s 6-plus feet of teenager ambling up to them with a smirk. “What’s up, guys? Long time, no see.”
Jared just stares, unable to respond to the sight, so it’s Jensen that moves forward, offering Colin a hug-pat deal and pulling back with a smile. “Look at you, kid.”
Colin rubs at the back of his neck and smirks - Jesus, Jared thinks, this kid is huge. “Yeah, growth spurt, ya know?”
Jensen laughs and smacks Jared’s back with a push of sarcasm. “Ain’t so much Little Sam anymore.”
“Little Sam?” Colin asks oddly. “C’mon, guys. I didn’t even like that when I was little.” He faces Jared outright and tries to smile, but it’s uncomfortable. “What’s up, Jared?”
He finally snaps out of it and laughs at himself. “Dude, c’mere.” They’re hugging a little firmer than Jensen had, and Jared’s trying to convince himself it’s because he filmed a few times with Colin and he’d always played with him on set, trying to bond over being the same character. But it’s really because he’s afraid to pull back and see the near-adult face stare back at him. Yeah, he’s a chicken.
“Alright,” Colin laughs, trying to pull back.
It takes Jensen’s help on grabbing Jared’s hands to get them to stop hugging. “Forgive him. He hasn’t had any sugar yet today.”
“Really?” Colin laughs again. “Still like that?”
Jensen guides him into the house with a chuckle. “If you only knew.”
*
Jared, thankfully, recovers after that, and winds up cracking jokes about how Colin truly was the best representation for a character Jared also played because now they’re both taller than small buildings and handsome as fuck. Except he doesn’t say fuck. Not in front of Colin, because even if the kid is now 17, there is no way he wants Jensen to think he’s not going to watch his mouth in front of company.
In the kitchen, alone with Jensen to grab sodas, he does react. “Holy fuck! He’s huge.”
Jensen laughs. “What? You think they stay that size? And you wonder why I said no.”
“Shit, c’mon,” Jared whines, not sure if he wants to address Jensen’s joke or the real jab beneath it. He decides to ignore them both. He is mature. “I mean, I don’t know. I just had this image. Little Sam.”
“You can stop calling me that!” Colin calls from the family room, where they’d left him in front of the mammoth TV to pick out what Xbox games they should fight to the death on. They can hear the humor in his voice when he adds, “I’m neither little nor Sam.”
“Got it,” Jared replies. “He’s really not little,” he says to Jensen with a bit of panic.
“I can still hear you,” Colin yells with a tease.
Jensen makes a little, amused huh sound. “Seems more like Little Jared to me.”
Then Colin whines, “Can I not be Little Anyone? That’d be awesome.”
Jensen smirks then drops his voice to mock Jared. “He is so you. I can’t stand it.”
“You can’t stand that there’s a 17-year-old in our house that should be 13?”
He straightens and eyes Jared with a poorly hid smile. “I can’t stand that you thought this was the way to convince me, and now you’re being punished.” Jensen pushes two cans of soda into Jared’s palms. “Have fun,” and he walks away.
“Jen,” Jared whines after him. But it’s a lost cause.
Colin steps into the doorway. “Everything cool?”
“Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course,” Jared smiles, trying to cover up. “You pick something out?”
*
They play for hours, battling each other in so many different games, and it’s pretty equal to who wins what. And then they team up for Rock Band, scoring insanely high points because Colin apparently does nothing but play this in his trailer in between filming scenes, at home, in his sleep. Jared’s a cross between amazed and bitterly jealous because he seems to have lost his touch here and the kid is showing him up.
But when they’re kicking ass at so many classic rock songs, he’s high-fiving Colin and jumping around like they actually just finished a set at the House of Blues to hundreds of adoring fans. And Jared gets a high like he hasn’t felt since … well, when not considering Jensen, he’s not sure that it doesn’t date back to Super Nintendo with Jeff in the basement of their parents’ house when neither of them could reach into the kitchen cupboards. Jared realizes, with a tiny tickle in his stomach, that this is what having a younger brother is like and he beams at the thought.
Colin’s chewing a Red Rope that’s dangling down his chest, slowly getting smaller as time goes on. He mumbles around it without taking his eyes off the run of notes or breaking his lightning fast fingers on the guitar. “Dude, I’m hungry.”
“Got some Twinkies.”
“Already had three,” he laughs. “Something else?”
“Ice cream.”
“Dude. Real food.”
“Pizza?” Jared asks without stopping his play either.
“Wings, too?”
“For sure,” he smirks. Then he yells, “Jensen! Pizza?!”
“Dude,” Jensen replies from the couch. “I’m right here.”
Jared looks over his shoulder from where he and Colin had been standing in the center of the room. His eyebrows crinkle, but then he smiles. “Oh, hey.”
“Hey.”
He turns back to the TV as Colin picks a new song to play. “Did you wanna play?”
“No, I’m good here.”
While starting up a Pearl Jam song, he mumbles, “Can you order pizza?”
“And wings,” Colin adds, also not looking at Jensen.
“Hot wings.” Then Jared breaks with an amazed voice, “Shit, you just nailed that star power.”
“Heck yeah,” Colin grins in return.
Jared starts making little da, da, da noises along to the beat and he’s rocking back and forth on his feet as he pounds out the bass line. “Pizza and wings. That good?”
“Poppers.”
“Fuck, yeah,” Jared smiles. “Jalapeno poppers. Jen, you got all that?”
“Yeah, I got it,” he mutters as he gets off the couch to the kitchen.
“Awesome.”
Colin drops in, quite subtly, really, “Got beer?”
“Yeah, in the fridge,” Jared responds while Jensen argues, “No!”
That makes him stop, and Jared drops his hands as he turns to Jensen. “Huh?”
“Underage,” Jensen practically whispers, but he exaggerates the shapes of his mouth and Jared reads it. Jared doesn’t respond. He just stares back like he doesn’t get why Jensen would care about that. Jensen sighs and waves Jared over as he moves further into the kitchen.
Jared follows and instantly shrugs. “What? Kid’s 17, I’m sure he’s had beer before.”
“I have,” Colin calls out.
“He has,” Jared nods.
Jensen laughs bitterly, scratching just above his eye. “Yeah, okay. We’re not contributing to further delinquency. Alright? And quite frankly, this scares me for your parenting technique.”
“What? We’re just hanging out. Like buddies.”
“Right,” Jensen nods. “Buddies. Like the kind of buddy you invite over to prove to me that can handle a child - ”
“Well, not exactly,” Jared cuts in.
“Which you are so failing at right now,” Jensen finishes.
Jared whines, “No, c’mon. Rules changed when he turned out to be 17.” And then he just stares, hoping Jensen lets it go and just gets on board with the moment. Because he thinks back to being 15 when Jeff had a house party and let Jared stick around while feeding him his first-ever beer, and a few more, and more. And yeah, okay, Jared threw up in his mom’s potted plant, but it was definitely a bonding experience.
“He was always 17. You just didn’t realize kids grow up.”
“Dude, c’mon.” Jared tips his head to the side. “Remember when Josh first gave you a beer? It was cool, right?”
“Yeah, no,” Jensen replies, patting his palm at Jared’s chest before walking away.
“Are you still ordering pizza?”
*
Jared and Colin stay up until three in the morning, battling more with Call of Duty and Resident Evil. They even break out some old school Mortal Kombat for an hour or so. Jared’s exhausted, but still feels like he’s buzzing from the competition when gets to bed.
He slides in behind Jensen, reaching an arm over his body, and nuzzles the back of his neck. Jensen turns a little, pushing his body back to Jared’s and bringing his head around so Jared can kiss him. In moments, Jared’s cupping Jensen, rubbing his dick, and Jensen’ sleepily moving into the hand. Then he pushes it away and sits up against the headboard, rubbing at his eyes. “Dude, no.”
“Dude, yes,” Jared murmurs as he moves back in, but Jensen nudges him away again. “You were just … I was …”
“Colin.”
“I am not asking him to join us.”
“What?” Jensen nearly shouts. “You are … you are fried in the head, man,” he adds, pushing at Jared’s head. “We’re not having sex with him here.”
“What? Why not?”
Jensen rubs both palms over his face, pushing the heels into his eyes. “Because A, it’s a kid. B, it’s company. C, it’s a kid.”
“Uh, he’s 17. I’m sure he’s had sex before and can sympathize with me.”
“Dude,” Jensen gripes. “Don’t make me think about Colin having sex.”
Jared sits up next to Jensen and stretches before rubbing his fingers into the back of his head, scruffing up so much hair but not even caring because his yawn is a great relief in the moment and it puts a goofy ease back into his voice. “We really can’t have sex tonight?”
“No,” Jensen replies, pushing his head back into the padded headboard.
“Just because he’s here?”
“Yes.”
There’s a small sigh before Jared says, “That’s bogus.”
Jensen’s head lolls over and he stares at Jared for a few moments. “What do you think happens when you have kids?”
“People still have sex. How do you think we have siblings?” Duh Jared thinks.
“Dude.”
“What now?”
Jensen pushes at Jared’s head. “Making me think of my mama having sex with my dad.”
Jared laughs at it, because it is kind of funny, and he’s been up for nearly 24 hours straight, existing on pizza, candy, and Red Bull. He’s a little slaphappy. But then it’s quiet and neither of them are moving from their positions, and he thinks that with the room still dark, Jensen will actually have the conversation. “So … you really don’t want kids.”
His head tips back and he sighs before covering his face with his hands. “It’s not that,” he mumbles at his palms.
With a tip of his elbow, Jared tries a light tease, “You worried what people will think because we’re not married?”
Jensen gives him a tired look.
“We can get married, you know?” Jared’s not only surprised by Jensen’s odd stare, but also at the fact he even just said that. They’d once talked about it, and it seemed like they didn’t have to. That they could just exist in the relationship as is … it’s just that, Jared wanted to add child to the list of things in their life, things to have together. And that’s when everything fell down.
“You know that’s not my problem.”
“Then what is it?”
He sighs and looks back up to the ceiling.
It’s quiet for a long while and Jared’s ready to just slide back down to the mattress and pretend it was never an issue - between them or even for him to do this. So, Jared jokes, “Guess my biological clock’s bigger than yours.” Jensen looks over, and Jared smirks. “It’s fine. Not the only thing bigger than yours.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Jensen groans with a slight smile.
Jared shrugs with a cocky face. “S’not.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“Hey, it’s fine,” Jared says pathetically, trying to sound fine, but he so isn’t. He leans over with a quick kiss to the corner of Jensen’s mouth then settles under the covers. His eyes are closed and he’s trying to fall sleep, but he’s concentrating on Jensen, who hasn’t moved down yet.
And Jensen sits there for quite a while. Jared’s not sure how long it really is, but it has to be a good amount of time. “I want to see one of us in it.”
Jared shifts, looking over his shoulder, not ignoring how Jensen is looking clear across the room or how his voice is so quiet and rough, like it takes all his energy to admit it.
“In him or her,” he corrects with a bit of softness. “God. We keep saying ‘it.’ Like an inanimate object.”
He carefully rolls and sits back up, trying to not disturb the moment or Jensen’s stream of words.
Jensen’s legs pull up and press into his chest while his hands stay in his lap. He seems to stare at the tiptop of his knees, still unable to look at Jared. “If we have one, I want to look at him - her - and know they’re ours.”
Jared’s breathing seems loud in the quiet of the room, and there are so many thoughts ravaging him, but he’s mesmerized by Jensen’s confession. And even more with the realization that he really wants that, too. Has always wanted it, but a while ago, when Jared realized that he wanted to love a man for the rest of his life, he’d stowed it away as wishful thinking.
“And maybe it’s me being bitter … but if I can’t have that?” Jensen’s shoulders draw up like he’s shrugging but they stay there and scream of insecurity. “Everything else seems like a lost cause. To not see you or me.”
He finally moves, shifting closer and leaning his forehead down to Jensen’s shoulder. “I would love to have that.” He feels Jensen’s shoulder drop back down, almost relaxed, and he wonders if it’s because Jensen’s finally said it all, or if it’s because he’s agreeing with Jensen. Jared shifts his head, resting his temple at the shoulder as he slinks his hand into Jensen’s lap to thread their fingers together. “We can get a surrogate,” he offers quietly.
Jensen’s head falls against Jared’s and his sigh is felt by them both. “Yeah,” he says, but Jared can hear the hesitation there.
“At least look into it,” he tries even quieter.
He doesn’t answer, but Jensen starts repositioning their hands, tucking his other hand around them and looking down at three hands curled together. “God, I feel like such a chick,” he tries to joke.
Jared chuckles at the ease that breaks between them. “Nah, it’s fine.” He leans closer with an arm going around Jensen’s chest and kisses at his jaw. Jared stays there, his forehead resting at Jensen’s cheek, but he closes his eyes and says, “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time about it. Before, you know.”
“Sorry I didn’t just say it.”
“It’s fine.” Jared tips back to kiss at the edge of Jensen’s chin then smirks. “You’re an angsty son of a bitch. I get it.”
“Oh, shut up,” Jensen argues, pushing Jared away.
But Jared can see the smile, so he moves right back in, wrapping his arms around Jensen and nuzzling his neck. “Since we’re not going immediately to the kid bank, can we still have sex?”
“When Colin’s gone.”
“Shit,” Jared winces then has a guilty smile. “I forgot he was still here.”
“Oh, my God,” Jensen complains. “You’re going to be an awful father.”
Jared squeezes at him. “That’s why I got Mama Jen to pick up the pieces.”
“I hate you.”
Jared laughs. “You so don’t, you fucker. You wanna have my babies.”
There’s a tight chuckle and Jensen seems to finally relax. “Can you imagine the horror?”
He raises his tee up and pushes out his stomach. “I would be hella sexy preggers.” Jensen easily reaches over, slapping a palm at Jared’s belly with a loud smack. “Ow, fucker,” Jared winces while laughing. “C’mere, you asshole.” And Jared jumps over Jensen, wrestling him down to the mattress. They’re both smiling and the fighting is playful as they tumble over the mattress, trying to shove the other guy off. It all feels like they hadn’t just had the most serious conversation of their entire relationship.
They slow down the fighting and then Jared dips down and starts kissing Jensen, pushing a leg between them. Jensen’s responding, but putting up a measly fight as he moves his head away to talk. “Jared, not now.”
Jared pulls back enough to look down on him with a grin. “You got a headache or something?”
Jensen grunts, “I’m not the fucking chick.”
His grin slips into a soft smile as he goes back to Jensen’s neck, kissing gently before he sucks just right forcing Jensen’s protests to weaken. “I promise I’ll be quiet,” he murmurs against Jensen’s throat.
Fingers thread through Jared’s hair and tug while the hand keeps Jared there. “I don’t.”
Jared moves up and stares down on him. There’s barely any light in the room but just enough to see Jensen watch him right back. His lips pull into a tiny smirk as he thinks about Jensen’s joke coupled with all they’d talked about just minutes ago. Five or more years ago, before they made out in the grass over baby pandas? Jared never thought this is where they’d end up. “You’re fucking awesome.”
“I know.”
“I’d marry you, you know. If that’s what you want.”
Jensen breathes deeply and shakes his head a little. “No, that’s not what I want.”
He moves back in, kissing gently before tipping his forehead to Jensen’s. “We’ll look into it.”
“Yeah, okay,” Jensen smiles back.