(Untitled)

[dulliria]

I need to define my character so I'll know to to act, how to re-act. I am envious of everyone and their predictability: if not defined, at least bound within limits. Is it just me, or does everyone else's character seem so much clearer cut than your own? Sometimes, I'd do things and people would say, "that's so unlike you." It made me feel safe

Comments

[anonymous]

Funny you should say that. I think you're one of the most defined people I know. I guess it's all in how you look at it.

[ravelling]

Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. But the funny thing is that you probably knew I was going to say that. And I knew it, too. Actually I know what I'm going to do MOST of the time but not all of the time and I surprise myself half of the time but that other half is just often enough for me to hate that I'm not me enough of the time because there is no me. Me is not a me it's just a decision I make at random moments. Me is a choice. Me is not yet a person. It drives...me? mad..you know what I mean. I wish I was me. But I'm not I'm a serious of decisions instead of an instinct. And I pick up behaviors from friends. I become pieces of them. Who I am is not me but pieces of others...a collage of people I've known. I see you becoming th same way. I see you taking pieces of other people, I see you've taken a piece of me. That, I guess, is to be expected considering the intensity of our relationship, but still. You're still taking. I wish for you and for me we could define ourselves, but at the same time we both think too

[dulliria]

Yes, yes. And you thought it was the ideal of you that I loved, this pre-concieved notion, something you'd never live up to, but all along it was this! The way you do that, complete my sentences, finish my thoughts reminds me why I was so crazy about you. You were always so much better with words.
I can't remember whose journal this is from but I remember liking it.
"i've been taught a lesson. i can be wrong, i've discovered, with a delicate then sharp and sudden lifting of the pillowcase. i is relative depending on the moment one happens to be visiting, i is muteable and pliable, i can exist in a myriad range of disparate forms all at once through past, present, future (plucked at random). past is and future is can stay static in absolute streams of certainties and lifelong vows, but the present i chops and changes violently, and i've been taught. i can be wrong."
We should have coffee, today. I have school til 2:30 text me and let me know if you can and if so what time, would you?

[abraxa]

I wish my parents had videotaped me when I was younger, before I cared what anyone else thought. I wonder what I am really like, if no one was watching. But someone is always watching.

If you're not really gone, can I add you?

xoxo]

[dulliria]

Of course, I added you as well.

[noseepennemore]

wow, i know just what you mean.
Hi, I'm Julia.
I'm adding you

[dulliria]

I was told we look alike by keijolie..or something like that. I've added you back =)