"he's just not that into you!"
okay...i know i normally don't update quite so much...but i feel the need to i guess
im feeling introspective...this is gonna be a long ass entry! so just don't read if you dont have time or dont care
so the past two weeks have been realyl weird for me...before i left for paris everything with my friends and andrew were reaaalllllyyy super...like i managed to see andrew and stef and my other friends all the time
but school wise...things were kinda falling downhill...my grades were not where they should be so i decided to really step it up...i loved how my social life was going but i also needed to focus a lot more in school..
so after paris thats what i did...and now things are going soooo well in my classes...i haven't gotten lower than a 90 on any of the tests ive taken so far which is really good for my averages...and im really spending so much time on school
but now my social life is like...going down the drain...don't get me wrong im not upset with anyone...but a few people are with me...for reasons that i find completely outrageous...but apparently they dont think so...
i haven't actually gotten a chance to spend time or talk with andrew since ive gotten back...i mean i spend time with him in school like today we spent time and all...but we haven't talked really...my computer's been messed up...we don't really talk on the phone anymore...and our plans on the weekend never match upp...he couldn't come over last weekend...im busy this weekend/he doesn't want to go skating but i do...it's just weird b/c before i left there was like...this peak in our relationship and i saw him so much and talked to him all the time...and now it's just seems like we never talk =\ =\ =\...
and wow that was a really long paragraph on just him...lolll...
my friends...basically me and stef are still closer than ever...if it's possible i tihnk that this weekend we spent a whole night talking again and got even closer...there are no words to explain it...if you know us...you know how crazy we are...but in my other friends...people i was once extremely close with are now all anti-liz...it sucks but im not sure if i want to be such close friends with people who can suddenly turn on me so quickly...i've gotten closer to others *coughsonymorganlexcough*...and im happy about that...b/c ive kinda lacked a solid group of friends since ever...someone's always hated me...maybe that should tell me something....hmmm...
aside from stef i just feel like everyone's gotten annoyed with me...and yes i know im totally overexagerrating this whole thing i know....but im not that secure and i get really sensitive to these things mostly b/c i probably care waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much...it's times like these i wish i could read minds...some people find it really hard to talk to me and im not sure whyy...others find it so easy...i just want people to talk to me...to not lie to me or sugarcoat things...id take fighting over the truth over making up crazy stories in my head b/c someone won't tell me how they feel
im really hoping that it's just my paranoia and that im wrong...