long post. pointless post.

[dumpie]

so, i pretty much said it tonight, and after i did, i regretted it. forget the fact that ive wanted to say it for so long, to anyone, because saying it made it real. before i truly acknowledged it, it was fairly easy to push out of my mind. now, its not so easy

Comments

[staggosaurus]

You're beautiful.

[inversethunder]

The best thing I can really say to you with my groggy 4am mind is to try to stay optimistic... ironic coming from me, yes. If you can stay positive, at least as positive as you can, because I know firsthand that this is no easy task... but it can be better for you and for your parents... I would not think they would like to see their little girl living miserably for their sakes, although the concern is surely appreciated. by all means, don't fake optimism or happiness, but try your hardest to feel genuinely that way, by doing things with them, keeping them involved strongly in their lives. i am sure that this can make everybody, even yourself happier

[snuubbly]

oh bu.. i never knew about your dad being sick. i'm really really sorry, i don't know what to say :( *hug* i really hope he somehow pulls through and you guys have a lot more years together. your mom too... god, i hate smoking. my mom smokes again. a lot. i really hate it. my brother too. it's as if i'm the only sane one left. heh.

i remember your brother.. he used to be on my aim back in the day. i remember the day you told me too. *Sigh* life can be really really shitty sometimes.
i think you're a really strong person, even if you don't think you are. i don't think i could deal with any of the stuff you've dealt with since i've known you. you might be one of the strongest people i know.

you'll never be alone though abby, you'll always have your friends. *hug* i love you!

[something_pure]

i know it's not the same, but most people create new families by the time they're in their 20s or 30s.. whether it's friends or a husband/wife, you're not going to be alone. and no, these new people weren't with you every day growing up, but they will be with you every day while you continue to grow.
and it's sad that these people seem to be leaving you so soon, but i know you'll enjoy their company while they're here. you have to keep in mind that everyone, eventually, has to go away. and you, eventually, will have to learn to lean on yourself- for an hour, or a week, or a year. but you will never, ever be alone if you don't want to be.

[dark_waters37]

As you know, you and I share the same feelings and fears. We both suffered great losses and are still dealing with the pain long after. I know this past Thanksgiving weekend was hard on me. I didn't show it to anyone, but the feelings were there. I too fear that one day I'll be alone. I miss the conversations my dad and I had, just bull shitting out in the garage, hearing the same stories over and over. But Abby, as long as you keep the memories of your loved ones close to your heart, you'll never be alone.