1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
Facial hair is gross!
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
I punched my brother once...
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
We have those on a pretty much weekly basis at this campus, you silly.
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
1/1
so 2
2 and a half if you count the made-up boyfriend I have to keep the creepers away
5. Are you tall or short?
Small like a delicate flower!
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
Um...never?
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
Weeaboo bullshit
8. Are you single right now?
Imaginary boyfriend aside, yes
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
fuck no
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
I play theater.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
A duck. A LITTLE WHITE DUCK.
12. Do you smoke?
fuck no
13. What would your superhero name be?
Duotastic
14. What would your porn name be?
Cinnamon Sugar
lmao no seriously there is a story behind this that is too hideous to tell
15. What would your son's name be?
Seth
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Jake
no, wait......
17. Are you a slob?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yes
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
K-Kahlua? I had it on tiramisu...
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
A derpy one
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
I'd fucking play myself
I AM an actor
fuck all of you
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
well, I do like beef jerky and naked women...
I mean what
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
Stupid people
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
Every Pokemon movie, apparently
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
Toph
Motherfucking
Bei Fong
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
Cutting bread
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
To when my mother asked if I wanted to go to private school
I would grab my younger self and shriek "FUCK YES YOU DO YOU LITTLE BITCH"
27. Do you have chest hair?
no
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
Run everything over with a bulldozer
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
oh god I hope not
then I'll have to pay attention to a person in addition to the ten billion cats I will have
30. Are you a good driver?
I don't know how to drive :|a INB4 OF COURSE YOU DON'T YOU'RE A WOMAN but no seriously I never learned
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Cam Clarke's voice
32. Have you ever been in love?
I am in love with sour patch kids
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
this is a list you do not want me to start
because it will never ever ed
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
I ran into someone in gym class and got a concussion!
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
every single one
I am queen of the wilds
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
put all the obnoxious politicians on a small ice floe in the Arctic waters and see how they fucking like it
polar bears are the shit, mang
37. What do you fear?
heights, water, and bridges
this is, as you can imagine, an exceptionally tragic combination
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
just my ears...
39. How long is your hair?
2.5 feet starting with my scalp, maybe...fuck if I know
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
Everyone ever
41. Who is your closest friend?
...Arlo...........my cat
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
my goal is to eat food before rehearsal and I am eating sour patch kids right now
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
spend those days writing out sappy and depressing thank-you letters to everyone who ever helped me believe in myself
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
I am a lumberjack who burns all of the wood he cuts down
fuck profits I just want to burn shit
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
fuck yeah
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
Pokemon, Digimon, Sailor Moon, other weeaboo shit
weeaboo is a fun word to type
weeaboo weeaboo weeaboo
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
8:00 on MWF, 8:30 on TTh, whenever the fuck I want on the weekends
48. What card games do you know how to play?
Solitaire, Bullshit, Blackjack, Slapjack, Yu-Gi-Oh!
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
oh fuck yes my body is ready
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
that's a secret!!!!! ~SO SCANDALOUS~