This is the third day of a period of time in which i am not using language. I am using my vocal chords, i.e noises, grunts, whistles, mmmm
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The inexorable pressure of languageblumenthFebruary 10 2005, 02:28:57 UTC
I have attempted silence, occasionally, briefly. I don't seem to have the willpower to maintain it. I am addicted to word, especially to my words. It's my personal ego-prison. I experience the world through the filter of language. I feel that, without language, I lose CONTROL. Yes, I did say ego-prison, didn't I.
Re: The inexorable pressure of languageduppiconkworaFebruary 10 2005, 10:34:54 UTC
Bion is a way for me to be reminded of carefulness. people around me are beautiful, they exist as a theatre in my eyes. as if i am seperate until i communicate.
it bothers me to hear people interrupting and yelling and chaos is neccessary but disrespect is neccessary and fixable.
people listened to what i am conveying more intently without spoken "words" i find that i am putting more feeling in it, body language, love i asked spirit to guide message clear. many enjoy it and become silent when "talking" with me.
When I've learned the most from silence is when instead of treating it as a challenge to my ability to communicate, I just drop the whole feeling of needing or trying to communicate, & allow it to be a real space.
It's so relaxing, to hear people talk & play around you, & be able to observe, to not have to think of anything to say, or any way to express anything at all-- just to be in the feeling of it.
I realized, as soon as I started to feel that space, just how much of my time & effort I spend trying to project myself into social spaces, & fill up the space around me.
There are expressions which it is socially required to make. This is the fault of society, not of silence, & there's no way that they can be reconciled. To be silent is to be cut off, into the emptiness of real experience & time, & that is often difficult.
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<3
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people around me are beautiful, they exist as a theatre in my eyes.
as if i am seperate until i communicate.
it bothers me to hear people interrupting and yelling and
chaos is neccessary but disrespect is neccessary and fixable.
people listened to what i am conveying more intently without spoken "words"
i find that i am putting more feeling in it, body language, love
i asked spirit to guide message clear.
many enjoy it and become silent when "talking" with me.
Reply
It's so relaxing, to hear people talk & play around you, & be able to observe, to not have to think of anything to say, or any way to express anything at all-- just to be in the feeling of it.
I realized, as soon as I started to feel that space, just how much of my time & effort I spend trying to project myself into social spaces, & fill up the space around me.
There are expressions which it is socially required to make. This is the fault of society, not of silence, & there's no way that they can be reconciled. To be silent is to be cut off, into the emptiness of real experience & time, & that is often difficult.
<3
Reply
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