y ello thar
lol three weeks |D
I usually update more regulary but I was too lazy or just didn't feel like writing.
Well, not TOO much has happened in these past three weeks D:
The weekend when my dad was in Eilat was cool.
The one after it, meh, it was nice.
The last week was so so.
And now this week is beginning.
And I already hate it.
I feel really bad today, not only because I once again fought with my dad and made my bro cry because of me.
We were supposed to go to Jerusalem because my bro's Bar Mitzvah is coming up so I ORIGINALLY agreed to go. I knew it was like, organized tour kinda thingy with this religious group but I still wanted to go to respect my bro and all.
But then today, apparently, I wasn't decent enough for the occasion, both by clothes appearance and not "modest" enough. I got mad at him for that because he wanted me to wear a fucking skirt. But I wasn't going to and we fought blah blah I went to my room and closed the door after me.
I didn't feel like going anymore. And I felt bad. I began crying and my dad thought he hurt my feelings and shit. I wasn't hurt by his words and I didn't care if they'll go alone but he wanted to cancel the whole thing because I didn't want to go + made my bro cry and he got mad at me for that.
In the end, I convinced my bro to stop crying because I really cared for him and wanted him to go there because it's important to me. Even though he said it's not worth it if I won't come because he loves me and it won't be the same without me (baw he loves me so much ]: ).
So they went (oh yeah, Lihi was with them too and I REALLY didn't want to leave her alone there because there is a separation between men and women but... yeah X: ) and I stayed at home and kept on crying for a little more while. then I fall asleep and also didn't feel so good (I felt sick and wanted to puke OTL). So I didn't meet up with my friend who I haven't seen in a long while and really wanted to see him again.
And I stayed home. Till now.
Alone.
And bored.
And I don't mind actually, but I still feel bad.
I feel like I want to open a new page with everyone and everything I do.
Like you do a restart to your computer.
I feel like I'm disappointing my friends.
I feel like I'm disappointing myself.
And I just feel rather emo, if you haven't figured it out yet.
So I'll just stop and say this: I feel bad and I need some time alone I guess. I have too much pressure on me from the army and health and mental problems and friends and family.
Give me a corner to be in for a few days.
Or just outside to look at the clouds for hours on hours.
SO ANYWAY, TO MAKE THIS POST NOT TOTALLY EMO
here is a few things I DID do in these weeks.
Of course, I drew pff
And I came back to gaiaonline xD big mistake cuz I opened a shop and I'm WAYYYY over my head with requests D:; I hope to make ittttttttt~~~
I'll post some drawings later, too lazy.
I kept on watching Soul Eater, eventually giving up and watching online pfff xD (thus, the epic icon of Soul, which I failly made ;D )
I FINALLY sold my big scythe Soul to my friend this weekend.
SHE LOVED IT HEHE she said it looks SO much better irl.
WELL YEAH HE IS HUH.
I only got 75 NIS but that's what I asked for |D
Oh well, what do I care? he is going to be a star in the up coming Soul Eater musical hehehe~ I might make their Ragnarok as well Ugh... what else... OH YEAH, I took care of my thyroid gland AT LAST.
I went to the doctor and she said (yeah, she. I managed to make an appointment to my old doctor in the end ;v; ) I DO have a problem (no shit) but she is not sure if it is permanent or temporary D:
But I began taking these pills anyway pff |D She wants to see if after a while the gland will rehabilitate itself or I'll have to take these pills for the rest of my life. JOY.
That also explains why I gained weight because I have inactivity. It causes that. And me being tired a lot. Yup
I also took this immunization shot for the cervix cancer. Good thing I did it before the army because they'll have to let me do the other two shots for the immunization (it's a three part thing).
It kinda hurt lol it was to the muscle.
Anyway what else..................... my sister is coming back from Thailand next week Also, there is a party this week. A j-party.
I can say that, untill yesterday, I really wanted to go.
But now I kinda have second thoughts about it... I don't feel like going because it may be even worse than the last party .___. and I just feel bad lol. also, I want to save my money for the weekened (I don't have much left OTL) and even though my dad gave me a credit card to take money out from my account from time to time, I don't want to spend it because I already took about 600 NIS this month X: (500 for the shot and pills and another 100 for when I went for the doctor. It was for bus rides and to pay the 20 nis I had to pay for the appointment. The rest of the money is for personal use).
Right now, I have... 190 NIS to spend until the next month.
Yes, it's pretty much a lot.
But this about it.
For the J-party, I have to pay 40 NIS to get in.
I'm not sure how I'm getting there yet so it's either of these two:
1) I go by myself with a bus and come back alone in a cab. it would be about another 50 nis
2) I go to sleep over at Arc's place on Wednesday so then her bro can drive us so I'll have to pay only about 20 nis for train and bus to get to her place. Although, if I do this I'll miss some fun time I wanted to do with Lihi on Thursday morning (which is the day of the party) and it's also important to me as much as it's important to me to sleep at Arc's place (NOT BECAUSE OF THE RIDE, BECAUSE ARC IS MY FRIEND >:T and I already wanted to go to sleep at her place too many times but couldn't in the end OTL ).
When I'll be in the party, I'd want something to drink so I'll spend about... 50 more NIS? that's already about half my money.
Then comes Friday night,
I want to go out with my friends.
Actually, the same club where the J-party is going to be is also celebrating it's birthday on Friday and my friend Noa (who doesn't go the the j-party in the end cuz the last one sucked and she is not that much into anime and shizz anymore, not that it bothers me) wants to go.
Of course, that would be silly to go twice to the same place in two days but it still might be fun =w=;; so lets see.. cab would cost me about 40 nis, both to go there and to come back from there, if I'm going only with Noa. To get in, I need to pay 70 NIS.
And that pretty much all the money I have So I'm tore between too good friends of mine, Arc and Noa.
I know that if I won't come to the j-party, Arc won't go and that would be bummer for her and I'll feel bad she didn't go because of me.
If I won't go with Noa, that would suck because she is my best friend (since before the 1st grade ; ) and I haven't seen her in a week (army). So I want to hang out with her and I know I could give up on a stupid j-party which might suck in the end anyway ;
So yeah, I feel torn. And confused. and UGH I'M BEGINNING TO BE EMO AGAIN OKAY OKAY IGNORE THIS HAHAHA I hate money OTL it makes me think too much... and makes me feel cheap... but I'm just trying to save money and not spend all the money my dad saved me Umm what were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, stuff from this week ugh... well that's pretty much it, nothing new...
Just nervous about the amry, still have to take care of my health and mental problems.
Brainfucked much?
-walks away with a whistle-
p.s.
Just got a call from the army.
Next week on Sunday, I'm going to the recruiting center for a job interview.
It means, that I'll determine pretty much where I'll service in the army.... oh shi-
-scared shitless-