The walls don't press in as hard when you can't see them.
I recently heard these words and, despite my efforts, remembered.
Well before becoming a teenager, objectivity became my religion. Facts, both true and false, were the fundementals of my percieved reality. My religious views could be summized by two concepts: "Be sure if your sources reliability." and "More information is better.". No one, and nothing else could be trusted. Lies corrupted my reality; once I realised this, I developed a hatred for data corruption.
Events of subjectivity were items or tools to be used, but only containing utilitarian signifigance. Opinions didn't matter, IMHO. Johnathan Livingston Seagull is my earliest memory on the topic. Reading up on Ghandi, and other philiosophers increased this convicition: "Subjectivity can be subjugated." I was able to create opinions, feelings or emotions, for any undertermined circumstance. Love. Hate. Fear. They can be created, nurtured, or avoided.
I could not controle taste, outside of generic conditioning techniques. I could not remove something, once I created it. To this day, I bare a number of common phobias: fears of spiders, dark, snakes, enclosed spaces, lower heights, and others I did not have until this time. I didn't realise I wouldn't be able to dismiss them. I spent years reconditioning myself to minimize them. So much effort.
This is similar to the leadership skill of making a decision without enough information to create a meaningful evaluation. You decide. You go with it. You don't question it, unless new information changes the circumstances. To be used only as needed.
I was 16 before realising I needed to learn how to emulate empathy. Until then, I didn't conciously realise that other people cared about their emotions. Until that time, and for a short while after, subtle verbal cruelty was a form of sport. Those skills are long atrophied, much like my Aiki Jujitsu. I still see them used by others, and I know them for what they are.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that opinions are of real importance to people. They care about things they cannot influence. They care about things they'll never understand. They care about illusions and precious lies, and it touches on a common point.
I know why they care. I don't want to realise it. The information is there, and I don't deny it, but I do avoid thinking it. Even now, I watch my mind dancing around the realisation, knowing the information is there to be called up on a whim. I hate knowing what I know about how people think. When I allow myself this awareness, I become aware that I'm alone.
This is just one way that the walls don't press in as hard when you can't see them.
Here are some other phrases, which brought a smile to my face tonight.
"If they were here, I wouldn't be alone."
"You'll like Canada. Lots of deserters."
"This world must be a terrible disappointment to you. I'm not too impressed with it myself."
"No one can fake it through the Pina Colada Song, not once the chorus kicks in."
"It's really hard to get a firm ETA on altenate dimension travel; I've tried."
and the happiest of the bunch.
"I got strict instructions: 'No torture'. You're perfectly safe."
Well before becoming a teenager, objectivity became my religion. Facts, both true and false, were the fundementals of my percieved reality. My religious views could be summized by two concepts: "Be sure if your sources reliability." and "More information is better.". No one, and nothing else could be trusted. Lies corrupted my reality; once I realised this, I developed a hatred for data corruption.
Events of subjectivity were items or tools to be used, but only containing utilitarian signifigance. Opinions didn't matter, IMHO. Johnathan Livingston Seagull is my earliest memory on the topic. Reading up on Ghandi, and other philiosophers increased this convicition: "Subjectivity can be subjugated." I was able to create opinions, feelings or emotions, for any undertermined circumstance. Love. Hate. Fear. They can be created, nurtured, or avoided.
I could not controle taste, outside of generic conditioning techniques. I could not remove something, once I created it. To this day, I bare a number of common phobias: fears of spiders, dark, snakes, enclosed spaces, lower heights, and others I did not have until this time. I didn't realise I wouldn't be able to dismiss them. I spent years reconditioning myself to minimize them. So much effort.
This is similar to the leadership skill of making a decision without enough information to create a meaningful evaluation. You decide. You go with it. You don't question it, unless new information changes the circumstances. To be used only as needed.
I was 16 before realising I needed to learn how to emulate empathy. Until then, I didn't conciously realise that other people cared about their emotions. Until that time, and for a short while after, subtle verbal cruelty was a form of sport. Those skills are long atrophied, much like my Aiki Jujitsu. I still see them used by others, and I know them for what they are.
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that opinions are of real importance to people. They care about things they cannot influence. They care about things they'll never understand. They care about illusions and precious lies, and it touches on a common point.
I know why they care. I don't want to realise it. The information is there, and I don't deny it, but I do avoid thinking it. Even now, I watch my mind dancing around the realisation, knowing the information is there to be called up on a whim. I hate knowing what I know about how people think. When I allow myself this awareness, I become aware that I'm alone.
This is just one way that the walls don't press in as hard when you can't see them.
Here are some other phrases, which brought a smile to my face tonight.
"If they were here, I wouldn't be alone."
"You'll like Canada. Lots of deserters."
"This world must be a terrible disappointment to you. I'm not too impressed with it myself."
"No one can fake it through the Pina Colada Song, not once the chorus kicks in."
"It's really hard to get a firm ETA on altenate dimension travel; I've tried."
and the happiest of the bunch.
"I got strict instructions: 'No torture'. You're perfectly safe."