Freaked out by a TV show.
John Doe. It started off greate. Trivia and tech came fast and hard, and all seemed to check out. The experience was sorta like a lite rereading of Foucault's Pendulum. I gave up on the show a few weeks back, when they gave up on being scientifically accurate, and started replacing tech with dysfunctional misinformation. The itemized trivia and facts still checked, but the applications were pure fantasy, like making a car faster by painting it red, after citing the actual ratios of speeding tickets on red cars vs non-red cars.
Tonight, I watched a recent episode. The lead character lost his ability to just know everything. He lost all of his special abilities. He became more normal. He couldn't think, drive well or play music. It's like what happened to me, but I also lost some breathing capacity and the ability to be up and about more then 4hrs each day. I was never perfect, but I'd spent decades learning how to accumulate and filter information for accuracy.
I've mostly recovered, but I'll never be what I was. That's another difference. He gets the full recovery by being damaged again, while I'm afraid to take abother I.Q. test.
I went through this before, in the early 1990s. Seems like I'm getting hit once each decade. I was physically wrecked; no amount of sleep was enough and I slept over 12hrs each day. I finally went to see a doctor, when my chess skills obviously suffered. Yeah, that's me. I'll keep pushing through the pain, and not bother with doctors until my ability to think is threatened. The cause was unrelated, but the effect was similar.
I never fully reccovered from that one either. I used to wonder what I was before I started taking damage. I know I'm only shadow of my younger self. I posess a summary of his philisophical works. I hold fragments of his factual accumulation. I have his old friends who might not realise how little I've become.
I'm refining my technique to flash a fully installed W2K OS onto a system hard drive from a boot DVD, so I don't need to bother with the interactive hours to reinstall the OS and applications. It's new, but it's mostly putting togeather and tweaking pieces others created.
I've had my UDP mirror logic worked out for a while, but the coding is intermittant, especially while my PCs are in transitional states. I also changed the threading concept to avoid most of the original mutex calls. I could make the whole program linear, but I like the idea of a prioritized thread dedicated to emptying the socket buffer with zero potentially blocking calls. Saddly, it's still mostly based on concepts I'd worked out years ago.
I keep hoping the creative spark will return, but I really don't think I'll ever be as innovative as I was.
Tonight, I watched a recent episode. The lead character lost his ability to just know everything. He lost all of his special abilities. He became more normal. He couldn't think, drive well or play music. It's like what happened to me, but I also lost some breathing capacity and the ability to be up and about more then 4hrs each day. I was never perfect, but I'd spent decades learning how to accumulate and filter information for accuracy.
I've mostly recovered, but I'll never be what I was. That's another difference. He gets the full recovery by being damaged again, while I'm afraid to take abother I.Q. test.
I went through this before, in the early 1990s. Seems like I'm getting hit once each decade. I was physically wrecked; no amount of sleep was enough and I slept over 12hrs each day. I finally went to see a doctor, when my chess skills obviously suffered. Yeah, that's me. I'll keep pushing through the pain, and not bother with doctors until my ability to think is threatened. The cause was unrelated, but the effect was similar.
I never fully reccovered from that one either. I used to wonder what I was before I started taking damage. I know I'm only shadow of my younger self. I posess a summary of his philisophical works. I hold fragments of his factual accumulation. I have his old friends who might not realise how little I've become.
I'm refining my technique to flash a fully installed W2K OS onto a system hard drive from a boot DVD, so I don't need to bother with the interactive hours to reinstall the OS and applications. It's new, but it's mostly putting togeather and tweaking pieces others created.
I've had my UDP mirror logic worked out for a while, but the coding is intermittant, especially while my PCs are in transitional states. I also changed the threading concept to avoid most of the original mutex calls. I could make the whole program linear, but I like the idea of a prioritized thread dedicated to emptying the socket buffer with zero potentially blocking calls. Saddly, it's still mostly based on concepts I'd worked out years ago.
I keep hoping the creative spark will return, but I really don't think I'll ever be as innovative as I was.