I'm a baddie about car seats. Let the AAP sue me, but Toby rarely rides in it. He cries, cries, cries, and will cry for an hour or more in it until he vomits. If I hold him in my arms, he nurses and falls asleep, and when we arrive wherever, he is well-fed and happy. It is hard for me to be attentive to his cries for me at home and then 'switch' to detachment mode in the car.
The alternative, which we have done, is get going around the neighborhood until he falls asleep, then slip him into the car seat while asleep by the time we get to the highway. Sometimes handing him an assembly line of household stuff works, like aluminum pie pans and wire whisks, but eventually it's all out meltdown let-me-out crying unless he's held.
I hope he eventually feels secure enough to be slightly more independent in the car, but I'm not pushing him until he's ready.
I totally understand not wanting to have him cry and be in it, but for me, that's really one of those things where I'd rather have the unhappiest child than the consequence of not putting him in there. I've seen crash test videos of children being held in their parents arms in the back seat of a car, with catastrophic results in even some very minor fender benders.
That and I am especially senstive because of the accident that happened very recently with my cousin's toddler. Because she was in a friend's car, there wasn't a carseat, and so her 3 year old daughter was bounced around the backseat of the car in the wreck and suffered severe internal injuries.
And if you are there, next to him in the seat, you're not making him cry it out, you are still there supporting him through his discomfort. I do believe with enough time, even the most stubborn of children will ge used to it. They must, for their own safety, and so their parents do not have to worry about any legal consequences.
That's why we avoid the car. I can hardly leave the house, what with my grandfather. When I'm driving, Toby's in his seat-- Actually, that's the best solution for the crying we've found. When Mama is out of sight, Mama is *relatively* out of mind; he doesn't mind the car seat as much when Daddy's in the back seat. Counter intuitive, right?
When there's some errand, Taylor can go alone and leave me and Toby at home.
I understand why your experiences would lead you to feel strongly about it, and I wanted to thank you for being so respectful of a different opinion.
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The alternative, which we have done, is get going around the neighborhood until he falls asleep, then slip him into the car seat while asleep by the time we get to the highway. Sometimes handing him an assembly line of household stuff works, like aluminum pie pans and wire whisks, but eventually it's all out meltdown let-me-out crying unless he's held.
I hope he eventually feels secure enough to be slightly more independent in the car, but I'm not pushing him until he's ready.
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That and I am especially senstive because of the accident that happened very recently with my cousin's toddler. Because she was in a friend's car, there wasn't a carseat, and so her 3 year old daughter was bounced around the backseat of the car in the wreck and suffered severe internal injuries.
And if you are there, next to him in the seat, you're not making him cry it out, you are still there supporting him through his discomfort. I do believe with enough time, even the most stubborn of children will ge used to it. They must, for their own safety, and so their parents do not have to worry about any legal consequences.
Reply
When there's some errand, Taylor can go alone and leave me and Toby at home.
I understand why your experiences would lead you to feel strongly about it, and I wanted to thank you for being so respectful of a different opinion.
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