drabble dump [1]
gravity, thou art a heartless bitch
xiuhan | pg | 331 words
(title taken from tbbt)
Luhan really doesn't know how he ended up here of all places. He vaguely remembers approaching the cute boy working behind the counter with the intention of getting his number, or if he was lucky, a coffee date. Then somehow, between Luhan's inner monologue ('Minseok! His name is Minseok and he is talking to me and wow life is great.') and what his best friend Yixing would cheesily describe as 'getting lost in Minseok's beautiful smile', Luhan finds himself nodding to whatever Minseok had to say.
Five minutes later, he walks back to Yixing in a daze, a business card in his hand.
"I got his number," Luhan smiles dreamily.
Yixing takes a look at the rectangular piece of paper between Luhan's slender fingers. "I thought you were scared of heights."
Luhan just spins his friend around cheerfully. "I am."
"Then why did you book a bungee jump run?"
"Wait what?!" Luhan stops mid spin, arms flopping uselessly to his sides.
Yixing just points to the sign next to the counter Minseok was at before waving the business card in front of his friend looking amused.
Thanks for signing up to bungee jump! See you at 2 tomorrow! the card read, with the only thing actually being written by Minseok was the time.
Luhan nearly falls over.
"Have fun tomorrow ge!"
Luhan has been scared before. Of course there had been scary movies that made him parade around the apartment with a colander on his head and a spatula as a weapon when he had heard strange sounds at night. There had also been times were his neighbour, Jongdae, thought it would be funny to jump out at him from the corner of the stairs when Luhan came home from work. But the thought of throwing himself off a 1000 ft building is absolutely terrifying.
Luhan, afterall, is scared of heights.
("Why couldn't he pick a safer occupation??!" Luhan wails to Yixing, "like work in a coffee shop or something! Coffee shops are safe! Coffee shops are on the GROUND.")
extra cheese, please
(unless you are lactose intolerant, then hold the cheese)
baekyeol | g | 742 words
(my dream with chanyeol as a pizza delivery guy is now a reality)
If there was anything that his boss had ever taught him, it was that customers always appreciated a good smile. So when the door opens, Park Chanyeol beams at the woman and holds up a sharp, glittering knife. "HI! DO YOU WANNA BUY SOME KNIVES??"
As far as door to door salesmen goes, Chanyeol has never been all that subtle.
The woman simply gives Chanyeol a wide eyed look before the door slams in his face.
"THAT'S OKAY I'LL COME AGAIN TOMORROW!"
Chanyeol has never been all that quiet either.
So far everyone who opened the door for him that day had closed the door before he could even pitch his sales platform. If he didn't make a sale today, Chanyeol thinks, he might get fired. Or worse... he would have to help the girl scouts sell their cookies (he really didn't want to sell cookies with the girl scouts, they were vicious). Sighing, he rings the last doorbell of the street and waits patiently as the door cracks open to reveal a boy about the same age as Chanyeol himself, staring up at him curiously. "Um, hello?"
Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak but wow this boy is really attractive and it kinda messes with his vocal chords. "Haiiiggghh," he manages.
The boy doesn't seem too impressed. "Hello."
"I'm Chanyeol! And... uh," the saleman struggles for his words. What was he here for again? He looks down at his bag and oh right. Knives. "Do you wanna buy some knives?"
"Um..."
"They're really good actually! Really sharp!" He shows the boy one of his sample knives. "See? It's good at cutting and stuff! Like- ow!"
Chanyeol may or may not cut himself accidentally with the knife.
"Oohhhh," he looks down at the boy and tries his best at smiling. "Oops."
The boy looks positively alarmed. "Do you want to come in? I have bandages somewhere."
There's actually a lot of blood on his hands so Chanyeol is inclined to agree. "It would be helpful, yes."
Chanyeol leaves the house with all his knives, a cleanly bandaged hand and a name.
Baekhyun.
A week later, Chanyeol is at Baekhyun's door once again. This time around, he's selling vacuums. Vacuums in his opinion, were a lot safer than knives.
Baekhyun opens the door again and this time Chanyeol is ready. "Hello, Baekhyun, may I interest you in a fine collection of vacuums?" Chanyeol asks with his eyes squeezed shut.
"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun sounds sleepily and Chanyeol opens one eye to check on the other. Aughghpwoeriweroiweurwlre. He decides that closing his eyes would be a better choice.
Nevertheless, Baekhyun leads Chanyeol inside his house yet again, and Chanyeol tries his best to demonstrate how good his vacuum is by using a can of cola in his demonstration.
(Apparently vacuum cleaners can't clean cola stains.)
Baekhyun says it would be fine but Chanyeol insisted on staying until they managed to get the cola out of the carpet. One bottle of Shout! and couple of accidental hand bumps later, Chanyeol leaves the house with his vacuum, sticky hands and without his heart.
His boss will probably fire him this time around after coming back two weeks in a row without a single sale, but Chanyeol doesn't care. Because even if he had to sell girl scout cookies, he would be okay with it, if it meant he got to ring Baekhyun's doorbell again.
"Pizza delivery for Byun Baekhyun?"
"I'm sorry I didn't order any- Chanyeol?" Baekhyun stares up at the tall salesman who is currently dressed as a pizza delivery guy and holding a rather large pizza box.
Chanyeol beams at him. "I ordered you pizza!"
"Yes, I can see that," Baekhyun responds distractedly, "but why?"
The other boy looks at his watch. "Well, for one, it's dinner time. And.." Chanyeol looks at the pizza. "It is a pretty big pizza... it's too big for you to eat it alone... so I was wondering if you wanted to share?"
Baekhyun stares at the boy in disbelief.
Chanyeol blushes. "I also brought a DVD .. in case you wanted to maybe watch a movie? With me?"
"Okay," Baekhyun finds himself saying.
"Okay?" Now it's Chanyeol's turn to look surprised. He never really expected for Baekhyun to actually say yes.
Baekhyun smiles, lips curling up and eyes slanting into happy slits. 'I could get used to this,' he thinks staring up at Chanyeol.
"Really?"
The shorter boy nods.
"It sounds perfect."
my catallena
baekchensoo| pg | 478 words
(inspired by orange caramel's catallena)
"...HA!" Baekhyun shrieks.
"...Ha!" Jongdae chirps.
"...ha." Kyungsoo says monotonously as he struts forward to front of the practice room, trying to look as dignified as he can with a huge chocolate chip cookie perched precariously on his head.
"The small dancing Catallena," Jongdae sings into his make shift mic (read: a hair brush) as he dances merrily along to the song in a meat patterned dress like it was the most natural thing in the world.
In his peripheral, Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun going all out on the choreography, limbs flailing enthusiastically as he sings whole heartedly into a bottle of aerosol whipping cream, occasionally tipping his head back dramatically on a higher note and squirting cream into his open mouth.
Ugh.
Whoever decided that Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Jongdae would be the ideal members to cross dress was a total idiot, Kyungsoo thinks darkly. Whoever agreed that EXO-G should be a thing should be shot.
"JUTTI MERI!" Jongdae yells.
Baekhyun squawks back. "OYE HOI HOI!"
Kyungsoo stares daggers at Jongdae's butt, which had just pushed itself in his face. "Paula mera," he grits out.
Jongdae beams. "OYE HOI HOI!"
They turn in unison towards the mirror and Kyungsoo glares at his pathetic polyester covered reflection with distaste until the music finally stops and Baekhyun bonks him lightly with his can of whipped cream.
"Why so glum chum?" he asks. Behind him, Jongdae is staring at the mirror critically while adjusting his meat headdress.
Kyungsoo just gives him a look and the younger boy laughs. "Isn't this fun?"
No, Kyungsoo thinks, this is certainly not fun. He is just about to voice this opinion when Baekhyun backs up into Jongdae, who jolts in surprise, effectively dropping his meat headdress.
They all stare at the fallen meat for a long moment until Kyungsoo manages to regain enough of his wits to shout, "FIVE SECOND RULE! FIVE SECOND RULE!" loudly. Jongdae doesn't hesitate as he rushes forward to pick up the headdress, giving it a quick blow before reattaching it to his wig.
He shoots them a bright thumbs up, and for a second Kyungsoo smiles back at Jongdae. The moment, however, flies out the window when Baekhyun leans a bit too close for comfort and snaps off a piece of cookie off Kyungsoo's hair piece.
"Augh," he grunts, batting at Baekhyun who bobs out of his reach, the cup of bubble tea on his head sloshing obnoxiously.
God, he hates this job.
"Think of it this way, there's only three weeks until the concert!" Baekhyun tells him.
"That's only three weeks worth of rehearsals!" pips up Jongdae.
Kyungsoo looks at his puffy pastel coloured dress and groans.
Why me?
"Besides, Soo, I think you make a pretty girl," Baekhyun purrs.
"I will shit on everything you love," Kyungsoo responds drily.
Baekhyun just gives him an eyebrow waggle. "Ooooooh kinky."
xiuhan | pg | 331 words
(title taken from tbbt)
Luhan really doesn't know how he ended up here of all places. He vaguely remembers approaching the cute boy working behind the counter with the intention of getting his number, or if he was lucky, a coffee date. Then somehow, between Luhan's inner monologue ('Minseok! His name is Minseok and he is talking to me and wow life is great.') and what his best friend Yixing would cheesily describe as 'getting lost in Minseok's beautiful smile', Luhan finds himself nodding to whatever Minseok had to say.
Five minutes later, he walks back to Yixing in a daze, a business card in his hand.
"I got his number," Luhan smiles dreamily.
Yixing takes a look at the rectangular piece of paper between Luhan's slender fingers. "I thought you were scared of heights."
Luhan just spins his friend around cheerfully. "I am."
"Then why did you book a bungee jump run?"
"Wait what?!" Luhan stops mid spin, arms flopping uselessly to his sides.
Yixing just points to the sign next to the counter Minseok was at before waving the business card in front of his friend looking amused.
Thanks for signing up to bungee jump! See you at 2 tomorrow! the card read, with the only thing actually being written by Minseok was the time.
Luhan nearly falls over.
"Have fun tomorrow ge!"
Luhan has been scared before. Of course there had been scary movies that made him parade around the apartment with a colander on his head and a spatula as a weapon when he had heard strange sounds at night. There had also been times were his neighbour, Jongdae, thought it would be funny to jump out at him from the corner of the stairs when Luhan came home from work. But the thought of throwing himself off a 1000 ft building is absolutely terrifying.
Luhan, afterall, is scared of heights.
("Why couldn't he pick a safer occupation??!" Luhan wails to Yixing, "like work in a coffee shop or something! Coffee shops are safe! Coffee shops are on the GROUND.")
extra cheese, please
(unless you are lactose intolerant, then hold the cheese)
baekyeol | g | 742 words
(my dream with chanyeol as a pizza delivery guy is now a reality)
If there was anything that his boss had ever taught him, it was that customers always appreciated a good smile. So when the door opens, Park Chanyeol beams at the woman and holds up a sharp, glittering knife. "HI! DO YOU WANNA BUY SOME KNIVES??"
As far as door to door salesmen goes, Chanyeol has never been all that subtle.
The woman simply gives Chanyeol a wide eyed look before the door slams in his face.
"THAT'S OKAY I'LL COME AGAIN TOMORROW!"
Chanyeol has never been all that quiet either.
So far everyone who opened the door for him that day had closed the door before he could even pitch his sales platform. If he didn't make a sale today, Chanyeol thinks, he might get fired. Or worse... he would have to help the girl scouts sell their cookies (he really didn't want to sell cookies with the girl scouts, they were vicious). Sighing, he rings the last doorbell of the street and waits patiently as the door cracks open to reveal a boy about the same age as Chanyeol himself, staring up at him curiously. "Um, hello?"
Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak but wow this boy is really attractive and it kinda messes with his vocal chords. "Haiiiggghh," he manages.
The boy doesn't seem too impressed. "Hello."
"I'm Chanyeol! And... uh," the saleman struggles for his words. What was he here for again? He looks down at his bag and oh right. Knives. "Do you wanna buy some knives?"
"Um..."
"They're really good actually! Really sharp!" He shows the boy one of his sample knives. "See? It's good at cutting and stuff! Like- ow!"
Chanyeol may or may not cut himself accidentally with the knife.
"Oohhhh," he looks down at the boy and tries his best at smiling. "Oops."
The boy looks positively alarmed. "Do you want to come in? I have bandages somewhere."
There's actually a lot of blood on his hands so Chanyeol is inclined to agree. "It would be helpful, yes."
Chanyeol leaves the house with all his knives, a cleanly bandaged hand and a name.
Baekhyun.
A week later, Chanyeol is at Baekhyun's door once again. This time around, he's selling vacuums. Vacuums in his opinion, were a lot safer than knives.
Baekhyun opens the door again and this time Chanyeol is ready. "Hello, Baekhyun, may I interest you in a fine collection of vacuums?" Chanyeol asks with his eyes squeezed shut.
"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun sounds sleepily and Chanyeol opens one eye to check on the other. Aughghpwoeriweroiweurwlre. He decides that closing his eyes would be a better choice.
Nevertheless, Baekhyun leads Chanyeol inside his house yet again, and Chanyeol tries his best to demonstrate how good his vacuum is by using a can of cola in his demonstration.
(Apparently vacuum cleaners can't clean cola stains.)
Baekhyun says it would be fine but Chanyeol insisted on staying until they managed to get the cola out of the carpet. One bottle of Shout! and couple of accidental hand bumps later, Chanyeol leaves the house with his vacuum, sticky hands and without his heart.
His boss will probably fire him this time around after coming back two weeks in a row without a single sale, but Chanyeol doesn't care. Because even if he had to sell girl scout cookies, he would be okay with it, if it meant he got to ring Baekhyun's doorbell again.
"Pizza delivery for Byun Baekhyun?"
"I'm sorry I didn't order any- Chanyeol?" Baekhyun stares up at the tall salesman who is currently dressed as a pizza delivery guy and holding a rather large pizza box.
Chanyeol beams at him. "I ordered you pizza!"
"Yes, I can see that," Baekhyun responds distractedly, "but why?"
The other boy looks at his watch. "Well, for one, it's dinner time. And.." Chanyeol looks at the pizza. "It is a pretty big pizza... it's too big for you to eat it alone... so I was wondering if you wanted to share?"
Baekhyun stares at the boy in disbelief.
Chanyeol blushes. "I also brought a DVD .. in case you wanted to maybe watch a movie? With me?"
"Okay," Baekhyun finds himself saying.
"Okay?" Now it's Chanyeol's turn to look surprised. He never really expected for Baekhyun to actually say yes.
Baekhyun smiles, lips curling up and eyes slanting into happy slits. 'I could get used to this,' he thinks staring up at Chanyeol.
"Really?"
The shorter boy nods.
"It sounds perfect."
my catallena
baekchensoo| pg | 478 words
(inspired by orange caramel's catallena)
"...HA!" Baekhyun shrieks.
"...Ha!" Jongdae chirps.
"...ha." Kyungsoo says monotonously as he struts forward to front of the practice room, trying to look as dignified as he can with a huge chocolate chip cookie perched precariously on his head.
"The small dancing Catallena," Jongdae sings into his make shift mic (read: a hair brush) as he dances merrily along to the song in a meat patterned dress like it was the most natural thing in the world.
In his peripheral, Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun going all out on the choreography, limbs flailing enthusiastically as he sings whole heartedly into a bottle of aerosol whipping cream, occasionally tipping his head back dramatically on a higher note and squirting cream into his open mouth.
Ugh.
Whoever decided that Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Jongdae would be the ideal members to cross dress was a total idiot, Kyungsoo thinks darkly. Whoever agreed that EXO-G should be a thing should be shot.
"JUTTI MERI!" Jongdae yells.
Baekhyun squawks back. "OYE HOI HOI!"
Kyungsoo stares daggers at Jongdae's butt, which had just pushed itself in his face. "Paula mera," he grits out.
Jongdae beams. "OYE HOI HOI!"
They turn in unison towards the mirror and Kyungsoo glares at his pathetic polyester covered reflection with distaste until the music finally stops and Baekhyun bonks him lightly with his can of whipped cream.
"Why so glum chum?" he asks. Behind him, Jongdae is staring at the mirror critically while adjusting his meat headdress.
Kyungsoo just gives him a look and the younger boy laughs. "Isn't this fun?"
No, Kyungsoo thinks, this is certainly not fun. He is just about to voice this opinion when Baekhyun backs up into Jongdae, who jolts in surprise, effectively dropping his meat headdress.
They all stare at the fallen meat for a long moment until Kyungsoo manages to regain enough of his wits to shout, "FIVE SECOND RULE! FIVE SECOND RULE!" loudly. Jongdae doesn't hesitate as he rushes forward to pick up the headdress, giving it a quick blow before reattaching it to his wig.
He shoots them a bright thumbs up, and for a second Kyungsoo smiles back at Jongdae. The moment, however, flies out the window when Baekhyun leans a bit too close for comfort and snaps off a piece of cookie off Kyungsoo's hair piece.
"Augh," he grunts, batting at Baekhyun who bobs out of his reach, the cup of bubble tea on his head sloshing obnoxiously.
God, he hates this job.
"Think of it this way, there's only three weeks until the concert!" Baekhyun tells him.
"That's only three weeks worth of rehearsals!" pips up Jongdae.
Kyungsoo looks at his puffy pastel coloured dress and groans.
Why me?
"Besides, Soo, I think you make a pretty girl," Baekhyun purrs.
"I will shit on everything you love," Kyungsoo responds drily.
Baekhyun just gives him an eyebrow waggle. "Ooooooh kinky."