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[dustythoughts]

My grandmother just died. I don't know if I can handle it... I don't want to be alone. I can't even go to the funeral because I'm getting ready to go to Spain. I'll need to sit Shiva in Rochester, fuck.

I leave for Spain in nine days... it is the worst possible fucking timing to study abroad. I am so reluctant to go right now...

Comments

[zeblith]

Shir, I'm so sorry... *hugs*

[geminibell]

I'm sorry :(

[kabosch]

I'm so sorry Shir! I hope you still decide to go though, you've been wanting this for a long time...

[kestrel_aflight]

I'm so sorry, Shir. My thoughts are with you.

I have some idea how you might be feeling right now-- I lost my last grandparent while I was in Cape Town this summer. I couldn't go to the funeral or be home to comfort my mom; I had to deal with it privately and somehow put it aside to go to class. Despite this, the new friends I met in South Africa were there for me--and my Cape Town experience was unforgettable.

If there's anything I can do, let me know. I didn't know her, but my guess is your grandmother wouldn't want you to miss Spain. I believe that once you're a few months in, you'll realize you made the right decision, and years down the road, you'll recount it as one of your favorite adventures. But if you really think you won't be happy or grow in Spain, don't go. (I will say this--I was secretly dreading being alone in South Africa before I went. But now, I'm glad I did.)

[wondrousbeauty]

I'm sorry to hear the news. You have my best wishes for comfort and peace.

I also kind of know how you might be feeling; my grandmother died the day I left Texas for Seattle. I couldn't be there to comfort my mother, and my grandmother was being buried on the other side of the world. I still feel her spirit, though, often when I'm making decisions about school. I pray a special kind of peace for you, too.