Spring time of the heart(a time for new beginnings)
Title: Spring time of the heart(a time for new beginnings)
Author: dutch_chick aka Jenny
Rated: pg.
Word Count: 1.294
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen
Disclaimer: This is not real.
Warnings: Angst, major Angst
Summary: Jared finally gets some closure.
authors note: This is a sequel to When summer ends and Freezing to the core I recommend you read those two first.
Authors note 2: There are two fic’s here, one my muse made me write and one I got when I finished yelling at her. I post them both even though I think the second one rules.
Beta: vampyran who you all have to thank for the secod fic.
This is what came after yelling at the muze.
Jared stands there on the red carpet for the movie he starred in. He was as happy as he ever imagined he could be. It wasn’t really a happily ever after, Jared knew there was no such thing, but it was close enough.
The last two year had been good for him. Of course the final season of Supernatural had been hard for him. It had been hard to work with Jensen after everything that had happened between them. It hurt to see the pain in Jensen’s eyes, knowing he was the one that put it there. But it also gave him some weird sense of satisfaction know that he’d hurt Jensen just as much as Jensen had hurt him.
He was lucky that there was a lot of tension between the brothers and that they hardly had any scenes together.
He came out towards the end of the whole Supernatural thing, unable to keep on living with such a big secret in his life. After that, life just became easier. It was easier to go out of his bed every morning and he even began to miss Jensen less and less.
He moved out of his house in Vancouver, leaving all his stuff and his memories of Jensen back there, were they belonged.
It wasn’t hard to keep on living from that day on. They kept offering him good parts in good movies and he had the feeling that this movie might just be his big break.
Not that he really longed for that anymore, he was content just the way things where. He had a good live now, even if he was alone.
It was like, now when he smiled at the camera’s he didn’t need to pretend anymore. He matured, that’s what people said. He wasn’t acting like a big goof most of the time, not giving random people big hugs or wrapping himself around co-stars. He became less energetic. Jared knew that it wasn’t because he grew up. It was because of what he went through with Jensen. It was because there was still a little piece of his soul missing. A piece that never would grow back.
The shouts for him name gently change into shouts for his name and someone else’s.
Jensen.
Jared smile gets less intense as he turns around and sees his former co-star standing there, a polite smile on his face hands in the front pocket’s of his jeans. His hart jumps, stops and starts beating twice as fast. He hadn’t seen the man in two years and he looked good. Better than he did the last time he saw him.
Jensen spots Jared and his smile gets bigger. He nods and does a little half wave and Jared swallows hard. This man, his ex-lover, his former best friend, used to be his life, used to be his reason to live. He hates himself for having this reaction, he thought he was over Jensen. He thought that the man could affect him anymore, the reactions his body was having told him otherwise.
Somewhere in the crowd a reported asks for a good old Supernatural shot. And Jensen walks towards Jared. Jared doesn’t know how to act so he just stands there. It was like the past was finally catching up with him, with vengeance.
“How’ve you been,” Jensen asks as he sneaks an arm around Jared’s waist.
Jared curses mentally as he feels his body react to being close to Jensen, leaning into the touch. If Jared had tried to forget Jensen the past two year, his body hadn’t. It reacted to Jensen as a junky would react to a fix, even after two years.
“Great,” Jared barely whispers and really he wasn’t lying, he had been great until Jensen showed up.
Jared turns around and sees nobody standing there, Jensen was here alone.
“So Danneel’s already inside,” Jared asks and no there is no bitterness in his voice, none.
Jensen’s arm slips from his waist and he steps away from Jared. He looks in his eyes one good moment before answering.
“I broke up with her, a week after the Sydney con.” he states, doesn’t need to add, a week after you broke me.
And there is disbelieve in his voice, like he can’t believe that Jared didn’t know that. And it hurt Jared a little. If Jensen broke up with Danneel why didn’t he try to win Jared back? Not that Jared would have taken him back, he was hurting too much then. But still…
There were so many questions in Jensen eyes. So many things he wanted to ask himself, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. The past was just that, something you shouldn’t worry about. It happened and there was no way that they could change it now.
It is a little weird as they walk back in together, but as soon as they’re out of sight Jensen begins to talk.
“You know I loved Danneel, I loved her safety and I loved you… Oh god I loved you so much. After you left me I realized what an ass I’d been and.” Jensen makes some weird hand gesture instead of finishing his sentence.
Jared just looks at the man, “Jen, really you don’t need to explain it.”
Jensen looks at him intensely and there are so many emotions in his green eyes that they’re bright with them.
“I do Jay, I hurt you so much back then and god I was an ass. I just want you to know I hurt myself too, by letting you walk out of my life like that. I didn’t even fight for you. I had to tell you this, I needed you to know,” he says and Jared thinks for a moment that he’s going to cry.
“It’s okay Jen, I moved on. You moved on and we are both better persons for it,” Jared says.
It was strange how easy pain is forgotten when the right things are said. And Jared knew Jensen had hurt a lot back then, could see it. But he had always assumed that Jensen had Danneel back home to comfort him.
“Why didn’t you tell me back then, that you and Danneel broke up?” Jared needed to know.
They both sit down in the chairs waiting for the movie to start.
“Would it have mattered?” Jensen asks his voice flat and his eyes on the screen.
“No.” Jared couldn’t do anything else but tell the truth, Jensen did the same for him, he owed him that much.
By the time the movie ends Jared feels his hand resting on Jensen thigh and he had forgotten how that had felt. How good it had been to just sit somewhere with Jensen in silence. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it.
“So have you been dating?” he can’t help but ask.
Jensen shakes his head, “No, needed some time on my own. I’ve been by myself for the last two years. Trying to find out what makes me happy.”
“And?”
Jensen shrugs.
Jared places his hand on Jensen cheek. Did Jensen forget about him, like he tried to forget about Jensen? Or did Jensen think about him? Did Jensen think about all the things he could have done to keep Jared by his side? Did he miss Jared as much as Jared didn’t even know he missed him?
Jensen leans into Jared’s though and Jared knows the answer.
“Hey want to grab something to drink after this is over?” Jared asks.
Jensen has to open his eyes to look at him, his eyes are bright and full of fear. “I would like that.” Jensen answers softly like he was offered a blessing he didn’t deserve. And maybe he was.
Author: dutch_chick aka Jenny
Rated: pg.
Word Count: 1.294
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen
Disclaimer: This is not real.
Warnings: Angst, major Angst
Summary: Jared finally gets some closure.
authors note: This is a sequel to When summer ends and Freezing to the core I recommend you read those two first.
Authors note 2: There are two fic’s here, one my muse made me write and one I got when I finished yelling at her. I post them both even though I think the second one rules.
Beta: vampyran who you all have to thank for the secod fic.
This is what came after yelling at the muze.
Jared stands there on the red carpet for the movie he starred in. He was as happy as he ever imagined he could be. It wasn’t really a happily ever after, Jared knew there was no such thing, but it was close enough.
The last two year had been good for him. Of course the final season of Supernatural had been hard for him. It had been hard to work with Jensen after everything that had happened between them. It hurt to see the pain in Jensen’s eyes, knowing he was the one that put it there. But it also gave him some weird sense of satisfaction know that he’d hurt Jensen just as much as Jensen had hurt him.
He was lucky that there was a lot of tension between the brothers and that they hardly had any scenes together.
He came out towards the end of the whole Supernatural thing, unable to keep on living with such a big secret in his life. After that, life just became easier. It was easier to go out of his bed every morning and he even began to miss Jensen less and less.
He moved out of his house in Vancouver, leaving all his stuff and his memories of Jensen back there, were they belonged.
It wasn’t hard to keep on living from that day on. They kept offering him good parts in good movies and he had the feeling that this movie might just be his big break.
Not that he really longed for that anymore, he was content just the way things where. He had a good live now, even if he was alone.
It was like, now when he smiled at the camera’s he didn’t need to pretend anymore. He matured, that’s what people said. He wasn’t acting like a big goof most of the time, not giving random people big hugs or wrapping himself around co-stars. He became less energetic. Jared knew that it wasn’t because he grew up. It was because of what he went through with Jensen. It was because there was still a little piece of his soul missing. A piece that never would grow back.
The shouts for him name gently change into shouts for his name and someone else’s.
Jensen.
Jared smile gets less intense as he turns around and sees his former co-star standing there, a polite smile on his face hands in the front pocket’s of his jeans. His hart jumps, stops and starts beating twice as fast. He hadn’t seen the man in two years and he looked good. Better than he did the last time he saw him.
Jensen spots Jared and his smile gets bigger. He nods and does a little half wave and Jared swallows hard. This man, his ex-lover, his former best friend, used to be his life, used to be his reason to live. He hates himself for having this reaction, he thought he was over Jensen. He thought that the man could affect him anymore, the reactions his body was having told him otherwise.
Somewhere in the crowd a reported asks for a good old Supernatural shot. And Jensen walks towards Jared. Jared doesn’t know how to act so he just stands there. It was like the past was finally catching up with him, with vengeance.
“How’ve you been,” Jensen asks as he sneaks an arm around Jared’s waist.
Jared curses mentally as he feels his body react to being close to Jensen, leaning into the touch. If Jared had tried to forget Jensen the past two year, his body hadn’t. It reacted to Jensen as a junky would react to a fix, even after two years.
“Great,” Jared barely whispers and really he wasn’t lying, he had been great until Jensen showed up.
Jared turns around and sees nobody standing there, Jensen was here alone.
“So Danneel’s already inside,” Jared asks and no there is no bitterness in his voice, none.
Jensen’s arm slips from his waist and he steps away from Jared. He looks in his eyes one good moment before answering.
“I broke up with her, a week after the Sydney con.” he states, doesn’t need to add, a week after you broke me.
And there is disbelieve in his voice, like he can’t believe that Jared didn’t know that. And it hurt Jared a little. If Jensen broke up with Danneel why didn’t he try to win Jared back? Not that Jared would have taken him back, he was hurting too much then. But still…
There were so many questions in Jensen eyes. So many things he wanted to ask himself, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore. The past was just that, something you shouldn’t worry about. It happened and there was no way that they could change it now.
It is a little weird as they walk back in together, but as soon as they’re out of sight Jensen begins to talk.
“You know I loved Danneel, I loved her safety and I loved you… Oh god I loved you so much. After you left me I realized what an ass I’d been and.” Jensen makes some weird hand gesture instead of finishing his sentence.
Jared just looks at the man, “Jen, really you don’t need to explain it.”
Jensen looks at him intensely and there are so many emotions in his green eyes that they’re bright with them.
“I do Jay, I hurt you so much back then and god I was an ass. I just want you to know I hurt myself too, by letting you walk out of my life like that. I didn’t even fight for you. I had to tell you this, I needed you to know,” he says and Jared thinks for a moment that he’s going to cry.
“It’s okay Jen, I moved on. You moved on and we are both better persons for it,” Jared says.
It was strange how easy pain is forgotten when the right things are said. And Jared knew Jensen had hurt a lot back then, could see it. But he had always assumed that Jensen had Danneel back home to comfort him.
“Why didn’t you tell me back then, that you and Danneel broke up?” Jared needed to know.
They both sit down in the chairs waiting for the movie to start.
“Would it have mattered?” Jensen asks his voice flat and his eyes on the screen.
“No.” Jared couldn’t do anything else but tell the truth, Jensen did the same for him, he owed him that much.
By the time the movie ends Jared feels his hand resting on Jensen thigh and he had forgotten how that had felt. How good it had been to just sit somewhere with Jensen in silence. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it.
“So have you been dating?” he can’t help but ask.
Jensen shakes his head, “No, needed some time on my own. I’ve been by myself for the last two years. Trying to find out what makes me happy.”
“And?”
Jensen shrugs.
Jared places his hand on Jensen cheek. Did Jensen forget about him, like he tried to forget about Jensen? Or did Jensen think about him? Did Jensen think about all the things he could have done to keep Jared by his side? Did he miss Jared as much as Jared didn’t even know he missed him?
Jensen leans into Jared’s though and Jared knows the answer.
“Hey want to grab something to drink after this is over?” Jared asks.
Jensen has to open his eyes to look at him, his eyes are bright and full of fear. “I would like that.” Jensen answers softly like he was offered a blessing he didn’t deserve. And maybe he was.