Nervous Circuits
Rory/TARDIS, R, ~1,000 words.
He's a 21st century human, she's an ancient Gallifreyan space-time ship. It would never work out, but that doesn't stop her trying.
Warning: dubcon
Note: Marginally cleaned up
Eleventy_kink story.
1.
"Doctor," Rory starts, then pauses. The Doctor's not really paying attention; he thinks maybe the guy just likes pressing the buttons, because they don't seem to be doing anything.
"Doctor, is there a reason you have a room with a heart-shaped bed and a mirror on the ceiling?"
That sort of gets his attention. "Bed? Mirror? No, what, don't be ridiculous. Amy's in her room, maybe you can go braid her hair. I'm busy."
When Rory goes back to find the room again, to take a picture as proof, it's gone. In its place is a small Italian restaurant, dimly lit, with a single table set for one. Music plays faintly. Rory takes a picture anyway.
2.
Rory walks into the bathroom and all his clothing disappears off his body instantly. "What the-" he says, grabbing a towel to cover himself. There's no one there. The towel is too small, anyway.
The shower he takes shortly thereafter is the single most amazing, relaxing, massaging shower he has ever taken in his entire life. He uses unscented soap but comes out smelling like nutmeg.
(He finds his clothing stuffed into the corner of his closet, burnt and torn and covered in orange goo. Laid out neatly on his bed is a perfectly-tailored suit and a sort of girly silk shirt, and a pair of wingtips. He looks at the outfit for a moment, then puts on jeans and a t-shirt. Somewhere above him a vent makes a quiet whistling noise, almost like a sigh.)
3.
He's taking a walk with Amy along the corridors, because the Doctor is still fixing whatever's broken and this is like the worst cruise in history, sitting around his cabin and eating bad food at the buffet. Maybe they'll find a garden or something and they can make out.
Without warning, he finds himself sucked against the wall. Not painfully so, just sort of, dragged in. Amy shrieks.
"I'mokah," he says, trying to talk around the mouthful of plastic. The wall vibrates against him. The vibrating is kind of - localized. Around his junk.
Amy tugs his arm and he pops off, like two magnets separating.
Later, Amy complains to the Doctor ("Your SHIP tried to KILL MY FIANCE, what is going on??") and he just gets this look that people have when they see puppies, and says, "She likes you, Rory! Think of it like she's giving you a hug."
"I don't want to hug the TARDIS," Rory says. "That's kind of weird. It's a ship. You don't hug a ship. Ships definitely don't hug you."
"He didn't mean that! You didn't mean that. Hugs are always good, never turn down a hug."
4.
The next time he goes for a nap, he finds a Lion bar resting on top of his pillow. Nice, been ages since he's had one. He's yet to get used to the Doctor's vegetarian food-bar meals and this adventuring-or-lack-thereof lifestyle makes him crave junk. The candy bar isn't cold, but it's not too warm either, and tastes somehow better than he remembers Lion bars being.
When he wakes up from the nap, he has a raging hard-on. He's pretty sure he wasn't dreaming about anything, and it's not like he's frustrated or blueballed, he's with Amy, frequently. So why is his dick so goddamn hard. Seriously.
In the corner of the room, next to the ceiling, what looks like a little security camera goes voop voop voop! and turns to face him. A green light blinks on.
"Doctor?" Rory says. "Please don't be spying on me."
voop voop voop!, says the camera.
After ten seconds of deliberation, he wraps the blanket around himself and runs to the bathroom. The shower head angles down on its own. He finds he's suddenly holding onto a strange, sort of prehensile towel thing, with little wavy nubs. His dick throbs. The towel suckers onto his balls and it is simultaneously the greatest and the most horrifying feeling. He wants to cry, a little.
A camera lens emerges on the shower wall, with a blinking green light.
"Doctor, I'm gonna kill you," he says.
voop voop voop!, the camera says.
5.
"Doctor, I think your ship is trying to molest me," Rory announces, after he'd just jerked off for the seventh time that day. Normally he would be pleased if a little shameful but it's like there's this presence in his head demanding he get turned on by a door knob, or a saucy little access panel, or a -
"Pardon?" The Doctor peers at him through goggles that make him look like Mr. Magoo. Rory laughs hysterically.
"It's. There's. I've been?"
"Breathe in, take it easy, one word at a time."
"Your ship. Okay. Your ship is, is inside my head. Turning me on. All the time."
"Turning on? I'm sorry." The Doctor tries to look sympathetic but Rory thinks he doesn't actually understand what he's supposed to feel sorry about.
Behind the Doctor, a computer cable tightens across the console, slowly, resolutely. A screen glows dusky pink.
"Do you see that? Are you seeing that? Doctor, it's -" Such a tease, his mind supplies. "Doing a thing! It should not be doing that thing. Make it stop."
The Doctor turns. "I don't see anything, what am I supposed to be - Rory, where are you going?"
He runs lopsided through the hallway, doubled over to ineffectively hide the fact that he's, for no discernible reason, about five seconds away from coming in his pants. Amy steps out of her room, opens her mouth to speak.
"Not now, very sorry, gotta go," Rory says, and tumbles headfirst into the first unlocked room.
It's the one with the heart bed. And the giant ceiling mirror. In the corner, a record player drops its needle onto a record: Marvin Gaye, of course. The door snicks closed behind him. He discovers his clothing is now - elsewhere.
"Oh, bollocks."
voop voop voop!, says the TARDIS.