Three Jokes (number 31 of the triangle challenge)
Title: Three jokes
Author: Ichigoxhime
Rating: PG
Genre: Silly, nonsense
Comments: Sorry this took me so long! I was working on a fic that i was having real trouble with, and i refused to let myself work on anything else till it was done.
~~~
Joke 01
Still in the dressing room, Shinya was held up as the stylist wanted to make some last minute changes to his hair. She wasn’t quite happy with it. Dir en grey had a live interview in just ten minutes and the rest of the band were already in standby, sitting on the couch where the interview would take place. A Couple of minutes later she was satisfied.
“There. You’re good to go”
She said to him and Shinya thanked her before hurrying to where his band mates and interviewer were waiting for him. He apologized before walking quickly to his seat and sitting down. As he sat down a loud farting noise ripped through the air. The room went silent and everyone turned their heads to look at him.
“Shin?”
Die questioned, looking at him but hiding a grin. He had hidden a whoopee cushion under Shinya’s cushion while the other was getting his hair fixed. Shinya jumped back up right away, face glowing all shades of red.
“I’m sorry. Sorry”
He mumbled an apology to everyone in the room before sitting back down. Anger was pouring through his embarrassment. He knew that he hadn’t farted so what had made that noise when he sat down? He only had one answer. Die had to be involved somewhere.
The interview passed slowly. Shinya felt too awkward to answer any questions so he stayed quiet most of the time and he was glad when it was over. He noticed that Die was the first one to disappear. Waiting for everyone else to leave the room he lifted up the cushion and found the offending whoopee cushion.
“Daisuke”
He hissed under his breath, clutching it tightly in his hand. He left the room and went back to the dressing room.
~~~
Die was standing topless and laughing with the rest of the band when Shinya walked in. He had shared his joke with them and they all thought it was funny, but seeing Shinya they all went quiet, except Die who didn’t see him as he had his back to the door.
“His face!”
Die was laughing as Shinya stalked up behind him.
“You.Are.A.Dead.Man.”
Shinya hissed between clamped teeth. Die turned around and raised his hands up in surrender, but still grinning.
“Sorry Shin, it was just a joke”
But Shinya didn’t think it was very funny. He slapped Die in the face with the whoopee cushion.
“You embarrassed me in front of all those people!”
Shinya yelled, hitting him in the face over and over with the deflated cushion. There was no way he was going to forgive Die for this.
Joke 02
Shinya put his book down with a sigh. Dir en grey were touring Japan and as usual he was sharing a room with his lover, Die. However, Die had been in the bath a lot longer than usual and Shinya could feel a small niggle of worry work its way into his mind. He slid off the bed and walked fluidly to the bathroom door which he knocked on.
“Die? Are you ok?”
He called out, waiting for a response. When none came he knocked a little harder.
“Die?”
Still no response. Shinya chewed on his bottom lip. He was sure that Die would not deliberately ignore him. Placing a slender hand on the door knob, he twisted it, checking to see if it was unlocked. It was. He pushed the door open and stepped into the bathroom, eyes immediately going to the bath tub.
“Die!”
Shinya screamed. His lover was fully immersed in the bath water, cheeks puffed out and eyes closed. His hair was floating around his head almost like a halo, and he looked somewhat peaceful. Shinya felt his heart stop beating and he fell across the bathroom and quickly pulled the plug out of the bath before using both of his hands to pull Die’s head out of the water.
“Die!”
He screamed again and slapped the other’s cheek gently. He was scared that his lover was dead. He leant down and placed his ear by the other’s mouth and nose but he couldn’t hear or feel any breathing. The water level was much lower now in the bath so Shinya let go of Die’s head and instead took hold of his shoulders and shook him roughly.
“Wake up!”
He cried looking back up to Die’s face. At that moment, Die opened his eyes and mouth at the same time and sprayed Shinyas’ face with the water he had been holding in his mouth. Almost choking, he began to laugh.
“Better reaction than i expected”
He said finally as Shinya sat back shocked, staring at him.
“...this was just a joke?”
Shinya asked, his look of worry turning into a glare. Die nodded.
“One of my better ones, don’t you think?”
He grinned.
“You’ve gone too far!”
Shinya yelled and rushed out of the door, slamming it behind him. Die got out of the bath and grabbed a towel to wrap around his middle before hurrying after the other.
“Shin, i’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to do to you.”
Shinya was in the process of throwing on some clothes. He stopped briefly to look at Die who didn’t look sorry at all.
“You’re a total idiot. How can you think that’s a funny thing to do to me? I really thought you were dead!”
His voice rose steadily as he was speaking and he walked towards the door and opened it.
“I know, i really am sorry. Please forgive me”
Die walked to Shinya and tried to hug him, but Shinya pushed him away.
“Shin...”
However Shinya ignored him and kept pushing him until before he realised it he was outside in the corridor. He quickly looked up and down to make sure no one was there before turning back to Shinya. However he was shocked to see a closed door in Shinya’s place. He hammered on the door.
“Hey Shin, let me back in! I’m not dressed”
“No! You can find somewhere else to stay tonight.”
After realising his lover was serious, Die sheepishly made his way to Kaoru’s room.
Joke 03
Die was bored. Working on new songs with his band mates, his inspiration and creativity had run dry. He put his guitar down and picked up a can, taking a long drink from it. Placing the can back on the table his eyes fell on the post-it notes next to his cigarettes and mobile phone. He grinned, getting a good idea to make the day more interesting and picked them up, writing a message on them - ”poke me i’m gay”. He put the pen down and ripped the post-it note away from the rest of the pack then looked around for his victim.
Shinya was across the room on his drum kit, casually hitting a few drums as he tried out a tune that was forming in his mind. Die stood up and walked to him. He moved round behind the drum kit and leant down, placing one hand on Shinya’s back.
“How’s it going?”
He asked, pressing the post-it note onto Shinya’s back at the same time. Shinya didn’t notice. Die stood up straight and stretched.
“Not bad”
“Why don’t you show me what you’ve got so far. Maybe you can help my inspiration flow”
Die grinned. Shinya nodded and showed Die his ideas so far.
“I think this will help me a lot”
Die flashed him a winning smile and walked back to his guitar. Shinya watched him go, feeling a little suspicious but unsure why.
~~~
Kaoru walked to the small kitchen area of the recording studios. He wanted a mug of strong coffee. When he went in he saw Shinya was already in there, back to him. Kaoru noticed the post-it not straight away. He walked closer to Shinya so that he could read it. He held back a laugh as Shinya turned around and greeted him. He could guess who had placed the note on the drummer’s back.
“How’s the composing going?”
He asked, poking Shinya in the stomach. Shinya gave him a strange look, wondering what the hell he was doing, but Kaoru looked completely normal, so Shinya chose to ignore it.
“It’s going well”
He responded. Kaoru nodded and busied himself making coffee as Shinya left the kitchen.
~~~
When Kaoru returned to the recording room, he whispered to Toshiya and Kyo about the note on Shinya’s back. Kyo didn’t look too bothered, but Toshiya’s eyes gleamed in mischief.
“I want to play too”
He whispered, and standing up he walked across to Shinya who was having a break, leaning back on the couch, his eyes closed as he listened to music on his iPod. Toshiya sank down on the couch next to him and began poking his arm over and over. Shinya opened one eye and glared at him, but he didn’t stop. Instead he just laughed and began to poke Shinya’s stomach. Shinya ripped the earphones from his ears.
“What are you doing?”
He demanded but Toshiya shrugged. Die was watching from where he was standing with Kyo and he couldn’t help grinning. Shinya looked really frustrated. His note was obviously doing its job.
~~~
Shinya was getting frustrated. All day people had been poking his arm or his stomach, or in Die’s case even his cheek. But he couldn’t understand it. However he had noticed that Die looked gleeful every time it had happened so he was sure he had something to do with it. Finally when Toshiya poked him for the hundredth time he got angry and jumped up, throwing his drumsticks across the room.
“What is it? Do i have a note stuck to my back or something?”
He glared at all of his band mates in turn. All had a serious face except for Toshiya who was obviously biting on his tongue and as Shinya’s eyes fell on him he couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter. Shinya’s eyes narrowed to a slit and his hands immediately went to his back. Sure enough he found a small piece of paper stuck there. Ripping it off, realisation hit him. He remembered Die earlier in the day, asking him about his composing. At that time Die had put a hand on his back. His eyes quickly scanned the note before he screwed it up in his hand and threw the ball of paper at Die.
“I’m going to kill you!”
He declared. Walking slowly towards the guitarist.
“I think it’s time for me to leave now”
Die grinned at his band mates before quickly slipping out of the door, Shinya hot on his heels.
Author: Ichigoxhime
Rating: PG
Genre: Silly, nonsense
Comments: Sorry this took me so long! I was working on a fic that i was having real trouble with, and i refused to let myself work on anything else till it was done.
~~~
Joke 01
Still in the dressing room, Shinya was held up as the stylist wanted to make some last minute changes to his hair. She wasn’t quite happy with it. Dir en grey had a live interview in just ten minutes and the rest of the band were already in standby, sitting on the couch where the interview would take place. A Couple of minutes later she was satisfied.
“There. You’re good to go”
She said to him and Shinya thanked her before hurrying to where his band mates and interviewer were waiting for him. He apologized before walking quickly to his seat and sitting down. As he sat down a loud farting noise ripped through the air. The room went silent and everyone turned their heads to look at him.
“Shin?”
Die questioned, looking at him but hiding a grin. He had hidden a whoopee cushion under Shinya’s cushion while the other was getting his hair fixed. Shinya jumped back up right away, face glowing all shades of red.
“I’m sorry. Sorry”
He mumbled an apology to everyone in the room before sitting back down. Anger was pouring through his embarrassment. He knew that he hadn’t farted so what had made that noise when he sat down? He only had one answer. Die had to be involved somewhere.
The interview passed slowly. Shinya felt too awkward to answer any questions so he stayed quiet most of the time and he was glad when it was over. He noticed that Die was the first one to disappear. Waiting for everyone else to leave the room he lifted up the cushion and found the offending whoopee cushion.
“Daisuke”
He hissed under his breath, clutching it tightly in his hand. He left the room and went back to the dressing room.
~~~
Die was standing topless and laughing with the rest of the band when Shinya walked in. He had shared his joke with them and they all thought it was funny, but seeing Shinya they all went quiet, except Die who didn’t see him as he had his back to the door.
“His face!”
Die was laughing as Shinya stalked up behind him.
“You.Are.A.Dead.Man.”
Shinya hissed between clamped teeth. Die turned around and raised his hands up in surrender, but still grinning.
“Sorry Shin, it was just a joke”
But Shinya didn’t think it was very funny. He slapped Die in the face with the whoopee cushion.
“You embarrassed me in front of all those people!”
Shinya yelled, hitting him in the face over and over with the deflated cushion. There was no way he was going to forgive Die for this.
Joke 02
Shinya put his book down with a sigh. Dir en grey were touring Japan and as usual he was sharing a room with his lover, Die. However, Die had been in the bath a lot longer than usual and Shinya could feel a small niggle of worry work its way into his mind. He slid off the bed and walked fluidly to the bathroom door which he knocked on.
“Die? Are you ok?”
He called out, waiting for a response. When none came he knocked a little harder.
“Die?”
Still no response. Shinya chewed on his bottom lip. He was sure that Die would not deliberately ignore him. Placing a slender hand on the door knob, he twisted it, checking to see if it was unlocked. It was. He pushed the door open and stepped into the bathroom, eyes immediately going to the bath tub.
“Die!”
Shinya screamed. His lover was fully immersed in the bath water, cheeks puffed out and eyes closed. His hair was floating around his head almost like a halo, and he looked somewhat peaceful. Shinya felt his heart stop beating and he fell across the bathroom and quickly pulled the plug out of the bath before using both of his hands to pull Die’s head out of the water.
“Die!”
He screamed again and slapped the other’s cheek gently. He was scared that his lover was dead. He leant down and placed his ear by the other’s mouth and nose but he couldn’t hear or feel any breathing. The water level was much lower now in the bath so Shinya let go of Die’s head and instead took hold of his shoulders and shook him roughly.
“Wake up!”
He cried looking back up to Die’s face. At that moment, Die opened his eyes and mouth at the same time and sprayed Shinyas’ face with the water he had been holding in his mouth. Almost choking, he began to laugh.
“Better reaction than i expected”
He said finally as Shinya sat back shocked, staring at him.
“...this was just a joke?”
Shinya asked, his look of worry turning into a glare. Die nodded.
“One of my better ones, don’t you think?”
He grinned.
“You’ve gone too far!”
Shinya yelled and rushed out of the door, slamming it behind him. Die got out of the bath and grabbed a towel to wrap around his middle before hurrying after the other.
“Shin, i’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to do to you.”
Shinya was in the process of throwing on some clothes. He stopped briefly to look at Die who didn’t look sorry at all.
“You’re a total idiot. How can you think that’s a funny thing to do to me? I really thought you were dead!”
His voice rose steadily as he was speaking and he walked towards the door and opened it.
“I know, i really am sorry. Please forgive me”
Die walked to Shinya and tried to hug him, but Shinya pushed him away.
“Shin...”
However Shinya ignored him and kept pushing him until before he realised it he was outside in the corridor. He quickly looked up and down to make sure no one was there before turning back to Shinya. However he was shocked to see a closed door in Shinya’s place. He hammered on the door.
“Hey Shin, let me back in! I’m not dressed”
“No! You can find somewhere else to stay tonight.”
After realising his lover was serious, Die sheepishly made his way to Kaoru’s room.
Joke 03
Die was bored. Working on new songs with his band mates, his inspiration and creativity had run dry. He put his guitar down and picked up a can, taking a long drink from it. Placing the can back on the table his eyes fell on the post-it notes next to his cigarettes and mobile phone. He grinned, getting a good idea to make the day more interesting and picked them up, writing a message on them - ”poke me i’m gay”. He put the pen down and ripped the post-it note away from the rest of the pack then looked around for his victim.
Shinya was across the room on his drum kit, casually hitting a few drums as he tried out a tune that was forming in his mind. Die stood up and walked to him. He moved round behind the drum kit and leant down, placing one hand on Shinya’s back.
“How’s it going?”
He asked, pressing the post-it note onto Shinya’s back at the same time. Shinya didn’t notice. Die stood up straight and stretched.
“Not bad”
“Why don’t you show me what you’ve got so far. Maybe you can help my inspiration flow”
Die grinned. Shinya nodded and showed Die his ideas so far.
“I think this will help me a lot”
Die flashed him a winning smile and walked back to his guitar. Shinya watched him go, feeling a little suspicious but unsure why.
~~~
Kaoru walked to the small kitchen area of the recording studios. He wanted a mug of strong coffee. When he went in he saw Shinya was already in there, back to him. Kaoru noticed the post-it not straight away. He walked closer to Shinya so that he could read it. He held back a laugh as Shinya turned around and greeted him. He could guess who had placed the note on the drummer’s back.
“How’s the composing going?”
He asked, poking Shinya in the stomach. Shinya gave him a strange look, wondering what the hell he was doing, but Kaoru looked completely normal, so Shinya chose to ignore it.
“It’s going well”
He responded. Kaoru nodded and busied himself making coffee as Shinya left the kitchen.
~~~
When Kaoru returned to the recording room, he whispered to Toshiya and Kyo about the note on Shinya’s back. Kyo didn’t look too bothered, but Toshiya’s eyes gleamed in mischief.
“I want to play too”
He whispered, and standing up he walked across to Shinya who was having a break, leaning back on the couch, his eyes closed as he listened to music on his iPod. Toshiya sank down on the couch next to him and began poking his arm over and over. Shinya opened one eye and glared at him, but he didn’t stop. Instead he just laughed and began to poke Shinya’s stomach. Shinya ripped the earphones from his ears.
“What are you doing?”
He demanded but Toshiya shrugged. Die was watching from where he was standing with Kyo and he couldn’t help grinning. Shinya looked really frustrated. His note was obviously doing its job.
~~~
Shinya was getting frustrated. All day people had been poking his arm or his stomach, or in Die’s case even his cheek. But he couldn’t understand it. However he had noticed that Die looked gleeful every time it had happened so he was sure he had something to do with it. Finally when Toshiya poked him for the hundredth time he got angry and jumped up, throwing his drumsticks across the room.
“What is it? Do i have a note stuck to my back or something?”
He glared at all of his band mates in turn. All had a serious face except for Toshiya who was obviously biting on his tongue and as Shinya’s eyes fell on him he couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter. Shinya’s eyes narrowed to a slit and his hands immediately went to his back. Sure enough he found a small piece of paper stuck there. Ripping it off, realisation hit him. He remembered Die earlier in the day, asking him about his composing. At that time Die had put a hand on his back. His eyes quickly scanned the note before he screwed it up in his hand and threw the ball of paper at Die.
“I’m going to kill you!”
He declared. Walking slowly towards the guitarist.
“I think it’s time for me to leave now”
Die grinned at his band mates before quickly slipping out of the door, Shinya hot on his heels.