Zack's Diary - Month of October
Next chapter! Enjoy.
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Oct. 03
I’m actually starting to feel kind of creeped out. I wish I knew what the cold feelings were, it wouldn’t bother me so much if I just knew. Maybe I’m sick and I should see the nurse. I hate going there though unless I absolutely have to. I’ve actually started wearing an extra layer of clothing because the chilly feeling is almost always with me now. I haven’t told Zoey about it, I don’t want her to think I’m crazy. I’m going to head down to study hall now, I really want to see her.
Oct. 07
I wish I knew how to dance. Zoey loves dancing and with the Halloween Dance coming up in a few weeks I thought about asking her… But I don’t want to end up stepping all over her feet and making a fool out of us both. But… it’s too late to join any dance classes, so I don’t know what I should do.
Oct. 09
Ugh I have a bunch of review tests coming up. I don’t feel prepared at all. I really need to get some studying done. … Come to think of it, I never see Zoey studying. She comes into the study hall when it’s just me and she never has a book with her or anything. Maybe she does it before she comes? But then why did she come that first night last month? She couldn’t have known that I’d be there…
I don’t know why I’m making a big deal out of this, I’m sure it’s nothing.
Oct
I casually asked Zoey tonight about the dance. I didn’t ask her out, just if she was planning on going. She said no, and you know why? She’s sick! Now that I think about it she’s always been kind of pale, but I just assumed that that was her complexion. She told me she hadn’t been doing her dance classes in a long time. In fact… She hasn’t been going to any of her classes at all lately. I guess that explains why she never seems to be doing the homework… I hope it’s nothing serious… Please let her get better!!
Oct. 17
I keep worrying about Zoey. I think she regrets mentioning that she was sick, because I’m always half expecting her to suddenly keel over or something. I should lighten up. I didn’t even know she was sick until a few days ago, so it can’t be that serious. Unless she just hides it well… She assured me it wasn’t contagious, but I hadn’t even thought about that. It’s just… I really really like her a lot, I don’t want anything to happen to her…
Oct. 20
I think I’m in love with her. Everyday all I think about is Zoey… Classes feel like an eternity ’cause I want them to hurry up and end so I can go be with her. And when I’m with her I feel so happy, and that things are finally the way they should be. The cold chills around me haven’t been bothering me as much lately. My heart is so warm inside that I feel immune to it.
Oct. 25
I wonder if she feels the same was as me… I want to tell her how I feel, but what if she doesn’t return my love? Would that ruin the way things are right now? Will it be so awkward we wouldn’t be able to stand being together? I couldn’t stand that if that happened. I love her. I want to be with her.
But it’s starting to feel painful holding this inside… what should I do?
Oct. 27
Zoey’s acting differently around me. Has she figured it out? She probably has; I don’t think I’m hiding it very well. I don’t know what to do… If she feels the same we could be happy together… but if she doesn’t … … And then there’s that sickness… How bad is it? I’m terrified to know the answer. Please please let her be okay. I couldn’t stand to lose her.
Oct. 30
After seeing Zoey tonight, I’ve made my resolve. I’m going to tell her tomorrow. The thought of it really scares me, but I’ve got to do it. I can’t keep going on like this, and if it turns out my time with her is limited, I want to make the most of it. I’m going to tell her.
Oct. 31
My head is spinning. I don’t understand, how could this possibly be true? Was it all just a dream? I can’t stop shaking.
I couldn’t tell her how I felt. I tried, but I couldn’t get the words out. So instead I… I went over to SHOW her how I felt. I moved in to kiss her but I went right through her. Zoey’s a ghost. She’s dead. She’s been dead for so many years, long before I was born. She explained to me that the sickness she claimed to have was a heart condition which was what took her life. She looked like she was going to cry… and then she left.
How could this be? Ghosts are just stories! Just stories! My heart is aching. It feels like I’ve just lost her, which is silly… for Zoey was lost to me all along.
. 13 ***
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Oct. 03
I’m actually starting to feel kind of creeped out. I wish I knew what the cold feelings were, it wouldn’t bother me so much if I just knew. Maybe I’m sick and I should see the nurse. I hate going there though unless I absolutely have to. I’ve actually started wearing an extra layer of clothing because the chilly feeling is almost always with me now. I haven’t told Zoey about it, I don’t want her to think I’m crazy. I’m going to head down to study hall now, I really want to see her.
Oct. 07
I wish I knew how to dance. Zoey loves dancing and with the Halloween Dance coming up in a few weeks I thought about asking her… But I don’t want to end up stepping all over her feet and making a fool out of us both. But… it’s too late to join any dance classes, so I don’t know what I should do.
Oct. 09
Ugh I have a bunch of review tests coming up. I don’t feel prepared at all. I really need to get some studying done. … Come to think of it, I never see Zoey studying. She comes into the study hall when it’s just me and she never has a book with her or anything. Maybe she does it before she comes? But then why did she come that first night last month? She couldn’t have known that I’d be there…
I don’t know why I’m making a big deal out of this, I’m sure it’s nothing.
Oct
I casually asked Zoey tonight about the dance. I didn’t ask her out, just if she was planning on going. She said no, and you know why? She’s sick! Now that I think about it she’s always been kind of pale, but I just assumed that that was her complexion. She told me she hadn’t been doing her dance classes in a long time. In fact… She hasn’t been going to any of her classes at all lately. I guess that explains why she never seems to be doing the homework… I hope it’s nothing serious… Please let her get better!!
Oct. 17
I keep worrying about Zoey. I think she regrets mentioning that she was sick, because I’m always half expecting her to suddenly keel over or something. I should lighten up. I didn’t even know she was sick until a few days ago, so it can’t be that serious. Unless she just hides it well… She assured me it wasn’t contagious, but I hadn’t even thought about that. It’s just… I really really like her a lot, I don’t want anything to happen to her…
Oct. 20
I think I’m in love with her. Everyday all I think about is Zoey… Classes feel like an eternity ’cause I want them to hurry up and end so I can go be with her. And when I’m with her I feel so happy, and that things are finally the way they should be. The cold chills around me haven’t been bothering me as much lately. My heart is so warm inside that I feel immune to it.
Oct. 25
I wonder if she feels the same was as me… I want to tell her how I feel, but what if she doesn’t return my love? Would that ruin the way things are right now? Will it be so awkward we wouldn’t be able to stand being together? I couldn’t stand that if that happened. I love her. I want to be with her.
But it’s starting to feel painful holding this inside… what should I do?
Oct. 27
Zoey’s acting differently around me. Has she figured it out? She probably has; I don’t think I’m hiding it very well. I don’t know what to do… If she feels the same we could be happy together… but if she doesn’t … … And then there’s that sickness… How bad is it? I’m terrified to know the answer. Please please let her be okay. I couldn’t stand to lose her.
Oct. 30
After seeing Zoey tonight, I’ve made my resolve. I’m going to tell her tomorrow. The thought of it really scares me, but I’ve got to do it. I can’t keep going on like this, and if it turns out my time with her is limited, I want to make the most of it. I’m going to tell her.
Oct. 31
My head is spinning. I don’t understand, how could this possibly be true? Was it all just a dream? I can’t stop shaking.
I couldn’t tell her how I felt. I tried, but I couldn’t get the words out. So instead I… I went over to SHOW her how I felt. I moved in to kiss her but I went right through her. Zoey’s a ghost. She’s dead. She’s been dead for so many years, long before I was born. She explained to me that the sickness she claimed to have was a heart condition which was what took her life. She looked like she was going to cry… and then she left.
How could this be? Ghosts are just stories! Just stories! My heart is aching. It feels like I’ve just lost her, which is silly… for Zoey was lost to me all along.
. 13 ***