Zack`s Diary - Month of November

Dec 26, 2009 23:58

Chapter three!

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Nov. 12

I haven’t attended any classes since that day. One of the counsellors took me aside and asked me if everything was alright. Star student suddenly wasn’t going to class or doing his homework anymore and wasn’t physically sick.

I haven’t been doing much of anything the past twelve days, I’ve mostly just slept. Of course the first few days I couldn’t even do that.

I haven’t seen her since that day. The cold chills have left me entirely, and judging by that freezing feeling when I tried to kiss her, those chills were from her. So I guess she’s no longer around me.

Nov. 15

I miss her. Everyday I wake up is agony. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

Nov. 17

Zoey finally came back yesterday. I knew before she even showed herself to me because I suddenly felt the chilly feeling next to me. She had tears in her eyes as she apologized. She told me she never meant for me to fall in love with her; she just wanted to befriend me so I could get my confidence up and make friends with my classmates and enjoy my last year of school. Then she tried to distance herself from me so I could forget about her, but saw that my suffering the past two weeks was only getting worse, not better. She urged me to go back to classes and study again like I used to.

I didn’t write the tests that I was worrying about last month and it’s too late to do them now.

I told her that I didn’t care; I hate school. Zoey was quiet for a long time after that, but then motioned me to follow her.

She took me up to a room on the top floor that students aren’t allowed to enter and she told me that that was our secret meeting place. I can see her during the day now, too.

We stayed there together overnight, talking.

Nov. 18

Am I normal? Most people that think they’ve seen a ghost are terrified, but I was never afraid of Zoey. Instead I find her presence comforting, and I feel unhappy and lonely whenever we’re not together. Talking to her is easier now that everything is out in the open. I know her secret now, and she knows my feelings for her.

Ever since she died she has been trapped at the school, unable to continue on to any afterlife, or even able to leave the grounds. She said the past few decades were excruciatingly lonely, and when I started coming to school here, she said that I stood out from all the other students. Like her, I was all alone, I was quiet and shy, and I shared her hate for this school. She’s been with me for all these years. She even admitted to reading my journal entries for the past few years as I wrote them, and told me she fell in love with me as she did. (I asked her if she’s been reading my entries this year too and she said no. I’m not sure if she’s telling the truth or not.) This is my final year at this school, so she wanted to talk to meet me since this was her last chance.

I’m so happy to have met her.

Nov. 21

I see Zoey in my dreams, now too. Every night I dream of her. I dream that I’m holding her, or touching her shoulder length hair, or kissing her softly. Some nights I’ve even … dreamt of other things …

The dreams of her are always so nice and would make me feel warm inside, but then when I wake up… I’m reminded that I can’t do any of those things. Suddenly the warm feeling would become cold and empty.

But then I go to our meeting place and I’d feel comforted at the sight of her, and we talk and talk.

Nov. 23

The school is really starting to pester me. They want to know why I haven’t been going to classes for nearly a month. They didn’t say it, but I knew they were trying to hint at me that I’ll get expelled if I don’t clean my act up.

Maybe I’ll start attending classes again. If I get expelled I won’t be able to see Zoey anymore.

Nov. 25

What a nightmare. Even if I study from now to the rest of my life I don’t know if I’ll ever catch up in my classes. I felt puzzled and bewildered for every class for the entire period; I haven’t learned a single thing.

But after going to class today, I realized something. My time here with Zoey is limited. When I graduate, I’ll never see her again. … Maybe I won’t work so hard to catch up. If I’m held back this year that’ll give me more time to be with her.

Nov. 28

I’m beginning to realize how futile this all is. I can’t keep getting held back for the rest of my life. Not long from now I’ll be too old to be attending high school, and I won’t be able to come back. What then? How will I be able to see Zoey? How do I explain that I’m in love with the ghost haunting the school, and I must keep coming to see her?

Nov. 30

I’ve stopped going to classes again. No matter what I do, my time with Zoey is limited, so I want to make the most of it and see as much of her as I can. She’s worried about me. She’s wondering if we should stop seeing each other. I need her; I can’t not see her anymore, and I told her that. I tried to hold her in my arms but once again I just went right through her.

***

zackzoey

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