I hate my job. It's repetitive and boring. That and the fact that while my immediate bosses do respect and appreciate me, everyone above them could give two shits whether I live or die... I'm expendable. I hate being expendable. despite how good I am at this job they can always find someone else. why? lack of credentials. kids without a college ( Read more... )

Things have been a mixture of chaos and pure bliss. funny how that works out ( Read more... )

My first boxing session was yesterday. Turns out Dante knew some people I knew in queens. they're in some underground rock band... they're actually pretty good though. saw them play at redzone a couple of months back. so one of the guys is a professional boxer and martial artist with all the equipment in his house... he's my new trainer ( Read more... )

4 months ago I stood on the corner by worth and bowery and ended 3 years... 2 months before that I made the decision that it needed to be done... and today a piece of me still hurts ( Read more... )

I waited online for 13 hours in the freezing rain on cold concrete floor... and the only thing keeping me there was that cd, a bottle of jack, and the ambition to see the greatest institution in the world perform live... and it was worht every second of that torturous evening/morning when I held those tickets in my hand ( Read more... )

I realized something today... corporate america has made me more laid back. I guess working in a place where they nit-pick at everything has made me more willing to not stress things. why? Because they stress over EVERYTHING here. I get a write-up for messing up an app... turns out it was a wrongful one. but I signed it by accident. Just because I ( Read more... )

My mom's anniversary is on Saturday... 13 years... and it hasn't gotten any easier. Except this year instead of being at home and upset, I'm gonna go party. Maybe this year will finally be different... with the help of a few narcotics and some people ( Read more... )

Being around my aunt has made me realize I'm not as immune to the idea of dying as I thought I was. I always figured that watching my mom die and dealing with that (despite how terribly I dealt with it) would make me stronger. It didn't. I spent the entire day forcing myself not to cry and it didn't work. The thought of losing her is too much. She ( Read more... )

ok... so that was my "mad black" moment of the day. how's everyone been? Me? I've been doing alright ( Read more... )

TOOL'S NEW ALBUM! SPRING OF 2006! WE WAITED 5 YEARS AND IT'S FINALLY COMING!!!!!!!

Recently I've been hangin out every weekend... smoking quite a bit of trees... drinking quite a bit of liquor... and working like a slave at healthfirst... despite the work, life is pretty good!

Ahhh.... blisss.....