Exciting Vacation Photos
Here's a picture of Beth living off the land in Garner. Apparently she likes cactus. The only thing better than watching her eat cactus was listening to her complain about the inevitable thorns in her tongue.
Gustaf the Stout had to haul his fucking weight this time. No more free rides for Mr. Gusses.
Beth and her little sister Gabby are preparing a veritable feast for me at a scenic overlook. We were going to eat at this shithole, Toad's Roadkill Cafe, but the withered old lady was either extremely racist or just a raging bitch.
Hiking was kind of fun but it was way too fucking hot. Screwing around in the river was much more pleasant.
This picture was taken right before Gus punched a thumbnail-sized hole in the tube. Apparently River Rat brand innertubes cannot take a direct Gus.
Gabby didn't puncture her tube.
Gabby really likes to fish. It was catch and release though. Fish were only slightly harmed in the taking of these pictures.
Why yes, I am a hella good rower. Well, I am until my co-rower ignores my cry of "Tree!" and I catch a branch to the nose and we all get dumped in the river, Gus included. It was actually kind of fun and gave us a good excuse to swim around.
MerBeths can smell blood in the water from miles away. Exercise extreme caution.
Doubleguns, perfect for land and water.
Gus is preparing for an amphibious assault. You can't see the artillery that he's towing behind him. After establishing a beach head, we took a nap.
Beth and I remain a happy couple, even after several days of Cranky Chris.
