FIC: I Believe I Am the Best
Title: I Believe I Am the Best
Author: vane_nt
Pairing: Neville/Hannah, with mentions of various canon and non-canon pairings
Rating: PG
Prompt: 3. Superiority/inferiority complex
Warnings: Author chooses not to warn
Summary: Neville's views on his perfect relationship with Hannah, with a bonus section told from Hannah's POV.
Author's Notes: Thank you featherxquill for running this fest! And thank you A. for the beta! All remaining mistakes are mine. This story is not entirely canon-compliant, despite the various canon couples mentioned. As we never get to see what kind of man Neville became after all the changes he went through, and we are never shown how his relationship with Hannah was like, I had to come up with everything on my own.'Harry Potter' and its characters belong to JK Rowling.
1. The Best Husband
"I'm glad that I haven't married you."
Neville heard this from Luna while they had dinner at the Leaky Cauldron. Dean was present as well, and didn't seem to be bothered by his wife's reference to a past relationship. Probably because Luna had left Neville for him.
Her comment made Neville shift in his seat, embarrassed and uncomfortable. Luna said that just seconds after Hannah had served their dinner and walked away towards another table.
Naturally, Neville understood the message implied in Luna's words. But he didn't need her approval after all. He only needed Hannah's approval-and he knew he got it.
He was a faithful, respectful and supportive husband. He was always willing to help Hannah, answer her questions and solve her problems. He would do his best to avoid that she created difficulties for herself, like she used to do. He knew his worldviews to be more realistic than hers, and he took it upon himself to keep Hannah's feet down to earth. For Neville, it was very important to protect his wife from her own ideas, which tended to be a bit unfortunate. He wouldn't let her subject herself to disappointments that could be prevented. In doing this, he proved his devotion to her.
Moreover, he didn't even divorce her when they found out she was barren. He chose to spend the rest of his life taking care of his wife only. Not all men would have been as accepting and understanding.
Putting any false modesty aside, Neville knew he was a very good husband to Hannah, thank you very much.
Luna? She had just been his (first, and only apart from Hannah) girlfriend for some months following what would be eventually known as the Battle of Hogwarts. It had been over ten years since they had gone separate ways. Although they had remained friends, her opinions on his relationship with Hannah didn't matter to Neville.
But he was a polite man. He wouldn't say anything that could make Luna and Dean as uncomfortable as she had made Neville himself. Thus, he simply smiled and said:
"I think we're all glad with the choices we've made."
2. The Best Adviser
"Hannah, love, I think you shouldn't try to brew this potion alone. It's too dangerous, you see."
Neville sighed in relief as Hannah nodded and agreed to end her experiment.
He understood her needs because those had been his own needs when he was younger. He only wished he had had someone like himself in his life back then.
For all his childhood and part of his adolescence, whenever he made mistakes or tried to perform tasks beyond his abilities, he would be ridiculed or scolded or both. This never did him any good. That was why Neville would never treat his Hannah that way. He acknowledged her limitations. But rather than criticise her, he would offer her his loving guidance when needed. And it was often needed.
Hannah was always coming up with fresh ideas. She subscribed to numerous magazines, including several foreign ones, and she got easily excited at articles about magical experiments, new applications to old potions and the such. Her main hobby was to try the tips learnt from those articles at home. Neville's main hobby was to monitor Hannah's plans.
Luckily, she rarely ever kept them a secret; it would usually be over breakfast or dinner that she would tell Neville all about the new things she wanted to try. That gave him the opportunity to advise her on the best way to go about with her experiments, or to caution her against her most audacious ideas. It felt almost as though she was one of his pupils, but he didn't complain about it. He loved teaching.
His main source of concern was Hannah's habit of performing Herbology experiments at their greenhouse without telling him first. That was the only kind of experiment she used to hide from him. Neville knew she did this because she didn't want to alarm him. But how could he not be alarmed at the thought of his Hannah meddling with all kinds of dangerous plants? That type of activity was best left to specialists like him. He grew a variety of nasty herbs in the greenhouse; plants which could bite, sting, burn or poison unskilled wizards. Not that Hannah was entirely unskilled. She just wasn't proficient enough in Herbology to fully understand to which risks she exposed herself when she tried to follow the instructions from those irresponsible articles.
As it would be impossible for Neville to watch Hannah all the time, he did what he could to ensure her security. He would cast spells or sprinkle potions on most specimens to force them into an artificial hibernation, so they wouldn't manifest their properties in full should Hannah approach them for any reason. From time to time, he had surprises when he got back home: he would find that some specimens had been brought out from their artificial idleness during his absence, which meant that Hannah had effectively neutralised his potions and charms.
In such occasions, Neville would never give in to the temptation of complimenting Hannah on her achievements. Yes, for a rather limited witch like her, neutralising the security schemes set by an experienced Hogwarts professor was quite an achievement indeed. But if Neville praised those feats, she might interpret this as a display of encouragement on his part, even if he kept on advising her against touching those plants when he wasn't there to assist her. Thus, he would just pretend he hadn't noticed what she had been doing, and would reset his anti-Hannah scheme.
He didn't like acting this way, but he had no choice. He knew Hannah was rather clumsy, which made her accident-prone-especially when she had to manipulate more than a couple of objects at once. Moreover, when she had to deal with unexpected problems she quickly succumbed to anxiety and lost her self-control. This all meant that Hannah's own personality posed a danger to herself, which was why Neville spent so much of his free time giving advice to her.
Neville tried to encourage her to keep herself busy with the Leaky Cauldron only. Neville didn't know much about running pubs, but he assumed that must be an easy enough work, seeing as the Leaky Cauldron hadn't gone out of business under Hannah's administration. The customers looked generally happy with the service, and the small accidents Hannah often suffered at work were never too serious. It was as a pub owner that she could shine. Therefore, Neville focused much of his advice on this point. He had hopes that someday his Hannah would realise that she shouldn't bother with experiments, tests and research; she shouldn't try to be what they both knew she couldn't.
Neville was very patient. He was willing to persist in his mentoring for as long as Hannah would need him. Under his guidance, she would eventually abandon those pointless hobbies.
3. The Best Couple
"I miss the old Neville."
Neville had heard it from Hermione, amidst a harsh argument that had put an end to their friendship.
He couldn't recall the actual reason behind their fight anymore. He could vaguely remember that it had had something to do with Hermione making some silly remark on his treatment of Hannah. He took issue with her comment and retorted, she snapped back, and things got worse and worse.
Even four years after the argument, Neville would still catch himself thinking of that sentence from time to time. Naturally, he didn't agree with his nosy former friend. He didn't see why anyone should miss "the old Neville."
His current self was the direct product of all the hardships over which the had triumphed during his Hogwarts years, particularly after his fourth year. His old self would always be lost in shyness and self-doubt. Thanks to his activities as a member of Dumbledore's Army, Neville had learnt to see his fears for what they were: useless ghosts that hindered him from becoming an adult and honouring his family's heroic tradition. This realisation had allowed him to put all his weaknesses aside and grow into the determined, strong and self-assured man he was nowadays. He took immense pride in all his victories, and he wouldn't let anyone take that away from him.
It was funny that Hermione had mentioned "the old Neville" right in the middle of an argument about his marriage. Neville knew that his relationship with Hannah was successful because by the time they started it, he was no longer his old self. They had remained happily united for all those years because he was the strong, confident man his fragile wife needed him to be. If he still was "the old Neville," he would have been unable to support and guide Hannah, which would have led her to fight problems and make decisions on her own. What a worthless husband he would have been! And theirs would probably have been one more among many other failed marriages involving former Hogwarts students from their generation.
Hermione herself had divorced Ron due to his many infidelities. Harry and Ginny had completely lost interest in each other. Angelina used to say she had got sick of being married to a ghost rather than to a real living man. Lavender and Parvati's marriage had perished soon after the latter accepted an offer to work overseas. Malfoy was known to spend more time with Pansy Parkinson than with his actual wife.
Neville didn't like prying into anyone else's affairs, but those facts were no secret to any Leaky Cauldron's habitués; at the pub, gossipping seemed to be just as important as drinking or eating. That was how Neville kept informed-even if involuntarily-about so many unsuccessful marriages.
He could only be glad that his own marriage had never animated any of the chats held around the Leaky Cauldron's tables. And it never would, because he formed a perfect couple with Hannah. Their relationship would never be in danger.
Granted, theirs wasn't the only successful marriage Neville knew of. Dean and Luna looked quite happy together; so did Katie and Alicia. But Neville was sure that he shared something very special with Hannah; something that his (current or former) friends and acquaintances couldn't understand. He was also sure that Hannah and he owed their happiness to his having left "the old Neville" behind. The positive changes he had gone through during his adolescence had made him able to provide Hannah with all that she needed, and this was the key to their harmony.
0. Not Quite the Best Wife
"Won't you even breath without talking to him first?"
Hannah had a start at Susan's harsh words and tone. Her best friend was usually a sweet, understanding woman.
While Hannah laid two cups of Butterbeer down on the bar desk, an old, reoccurring thought crossed her mind once again: Susan could just be jealous. She swore she didn't hold any grudges, but Hannah wasn't so sure about this. She had left Susan for Neville after all. It had been many years ago, and Hannah knew that Susan hadn't spent all that time alone; she appeared to have moved on. But what if deep inside Susan still saw Neville as a rival? Couldn't this be the reason why her comments on Hannah's marriage were sometimes less than fair?
Hannah got a bit hurt when someone implied in any way that Neville should be a better husband to her. How could anyone dare think low of him? He was a wonderful man!
Neville was a renowned war hero, he had been an excellent Auror and he was a brilliant teacher and author. One of his books was even used in classes at Hogwarts. He was one of those special human beings that the ordinary couldn't always understand. Hannah herself had difficulties trying to grasp the grandiosity of his doings. That was because she was too little in comparison to her husband; in fact, a comparison between them wasn't really possible. He was deservedly famous for his leadership, his bravery, his wizarding skills, and his vast knowledge on Herbology and associated fields.
She just ran a pub.
Neville could have married someone else, couldn't he? Hannah knew she had never been and would never be his equal. She had never done anything important in her life. She lacked any remarkable qualities. In fact, she was quite awkward and stupid. She couldn't even bear her husband children. It was a miracle that in spite of her being like she was, Neville still remained married to her.
In addition to his many qualities as a wizard, Neville was also a fantastic husband. He was loving, caring and protective. Whenever Hannah felt sad, she could trust him to brighten her day with his heartwarming smiles and his affectionate voice. He never let her waste her time trying to do things that were beyond her competence. He always had a wise piece of advice to share with her. When they found out it was her fault that they couldn't have children, he had been so understanding; he had explained that he wouldn't leave her because taking care of her was enough to fulfil him. That had been one of the most touching things she had ever heard. She had almost managed to feel somewhat special that day.
Being special-even if only for a few instants-was one of those dreams that Hannah couldn't stop dreaming, even though she knew that was an unattainable aspiration. This was one of the reasons why experimental magic intrigued her so much. In her spare time, she would read countless magazines, books and newspaper articles in search of unusual incantations, unique potion recipes, alternative uses for magical plants and rare magical instruments that she could combine to create something new. Something special. Something that could make her feel as though she wasn't so undeserving of her wonderful Neville.
Ironically, her tests with spells, potions and plants made her husband quite worried. Whenever he caught her in the middle of a particularly complex operation, he advised her to interrupt it. She always listened to him. He was a much respected teacher; surely he was in a much better position than her to identify risky and/or potentially fruitless activities. However, she could never resist the urge to experiment with magic again for too long. That was her favourite pass time; it was also her only source of hope of becoming a less ordinary witch someday. Hannah was quite sure that Neville understood her feelings on this; he was so sensitive. He could simply forbid her from performing further experiments, and tell her to cancel her magazine subscriptions. Instead, he would just express his concerns over her safety and offer her his invaluable advice.
Hannah wasn't just in love with her Neville; she was deeply and intensely grateful to him.
It was a shame that sometimes Susan decided to act unlike her usual lovely self and make unwelcome remarks like that. But Hannah didn't want to have an argument with Susan; she didn't want to risk losing Susan's friendship. Hannah was terrified of loneliness and rejection.
So, instead of complaining about Susan's unnecessarily harsh words, Hannah thought it best to dismiss them as an exaggeration on her friend's part. She took a sip of her Butterbeer and said as casually as she could:
"Don't go so over the top, Susan."
Author: vane_nt
Pairing: Neville/Hannah, with mentions of various canon and non-canon pairings
Rating: PG
Prompt: 3. Superiority/inferiority complex
Warnings: Author chooses not to warn
Summary: Neville's views on his perfect relationship with Hannah, with a bonus section told from Hannah's POV.
Author's Notes: Thank you featherxquill for running this fest! And thank you A. for the beta! All remaining mistakes are mine. This story is not entirely canon-compliant, despite the various canon couples mentioned. As we never get to see what kind of man Neville became after all the changes he went through, and we are never shown how his relationship with Hannah was like, I had to come up with everything on my own.'Harry Potter' and its characters belong to JK Rowling.
1. The Best Husband
"I'm glad that I haven't married you."
Neville heard this from Luna while they had dinner at the Leaky Cauldron. Dean was present as well, and didn't seem to be bothered by his wife's reference to a past relationship. Probably because Luna had left Neville for him.
Her comment made Neville shift in his seat, embarrassed and uncomfortable. Luna said that just seconds after Hannah had served their dinner and walked away towards another table.
Naturally, Neville understood the message implied in Luna's words. But he didn't need her approval after all. He only needed Hannah's approval-and he knew he got it.
He was a faithful, respectful and supportive husband. He was always willing to help Hannah, answer her questions and solve her problems. He would do his best to avoid that she created difficulties for herself, like she used to do. He knew his worldviews to be more realistic than hers, and he took it upon himself to keep Hannah's feet down to earth. For Neville, it was very important to protect his wife from her own ideas, which tended to be a bit unfortunate. He wouldn't let her subject herself to disappointments that could be prevented. In doing this, he proved his devotion to her.
Moreover, he didn't even divorce her when they found out she was barren. He chose to spend the rest of his life taking care of his wife only. Not all men would have been as accepting and understanding.
Putting any false modesty aside, Neville knew he was a very good husband to Hannah, thank you very much.
Luna? She had just been his (first, and only apart from Hannah) girlfriend for some months following what would be eventually known as the Battle of Hogwarts. It had been over ten years since they had gone separate ways. Although they had remained friends, her opinions on his relationship with Hannah didn't matter to Neville.
But he was a polite man. He wouldn't say anything that could make Luna and Dean as uncomfortable as she had made Neville himself. Thus, he simply smiled and said:
"I think we're all glad with the choices we've made."
2. The Best Adviser
"Hannah, love, I think you shouldn't try to brew this potion alone. It's too dangerous, you see."
Neville sighed in relief as Hannah nodded and agreed to end her experiment.
He understood her needs because those had been his own needs when he was younger. He only wished he had had someone like himself in his life back then.
For all his childhood and part of his adolescence, whenever he made mistakes or tried to perform tasks beyond his abilities, he would be ridiculed or scolded or both. This never did him any good. That was why Neville would never treat his Hannah that way. He acknowledged her limitations. But rather than criticise her, he would offer her his loving guidance when needed. And it was often needed.
Hannah was always coming up with fresh ideas. She subscribed to numerous magazines, including several foreign ones, and she got easily excited at articles about magical experiments, new applications to old potions and the such. Her main hobby was to try the tips learnt from those articles at home. Neville's main hobby was to monitor Hannah's plans.
Luckily, she rarely ever kept them a secret; it would usually be over breakfast or dinner that she would tell Neville all about the new things she wanted to try. That gave him the opportunity to advise her on the best way to go about with her experiments, or to caution her against her most audacious ideas. It felt almost as though she was one of his pupils, but he didn't complain about it. He loved teaching.
His main source of concern was Hannah's habit of performing Herbology experiments at their greenhouse without telling him first. That was the only kind of experiment she used to hide from him. Neville knew she did this because she didn't want to alarm him. But how could he not be alarmed at the thought of his Hannah meddling with all kinds of dangerous plants? That type of activity was best left to specialists like him. He grew a variety of nasty herbs in the greenhouse; plants which could bite, sting, burn or poison unskilled wizards. Not that Hannah was entirely unskilled. She just wasn't proficient enough in Herbology to fully understand to which risks she exposed herself when she tried to follow the instructions from those irresponsible articles.
As it would be impossible for Neville to watch Hannah all the time, he did what he could to ensure her security. He would cast spells or sprinkle potions on most specimens to force them into an artificial hibernation, so they wouldn't manifest their properties in full should Hannah approach them for any reason. From time to time, he had surprises when he got back home: he would find that some specimens had been brought out from their artificial idleness during his absence, which meant that Hannah had effectively neutralised his potions and charms.
In such occasions, Neville would never give in to the temptation of complimenting Hannah on her achievements. Yes, for a rather limited witch like her, neutralising the security schemes set by an experienced Hogwarts professor was quite an achievement indeed. But if Neville praised those feats, she might interpret this as a display of encouragement on his part, even if he kept on advising her against touching those plants when he wasn't there to assist her. Thus, he would just pretend he hadn't noticed what she had been doing, and would reset his anti-Hannah scheme.
He didn't like acting this way, but he had no choice. He knew Hannah was rather clumsy, which made her accident-prone-especially when she had to manipulate more than a couple of objects at once. Moreover, when she had to deal with unexpected problems she quickly succumbed to anxiety and lost her self-control. This all meant that Hannah's own personality posed a danger to herself, which was why Neville spent so much of his free time giving advice to her.
Neville tried to encourage her to keep herself busy with the Leaky Cauldron only. Neville didn't know much about running pubs, but he assumed that must be an easy enough work, seeing as the Leaky Cauldron hadn't gone out of business under Hannah's administration. The customers looked generally happy with the service, and the small accidents Hannah often suffered at work were never too serious. It was as a pub owner that she could shine. Therefore, Neville focused much of his advice on this point. He had hopes that someday his Hannah would realise that she shouldn't bother with experiments, tests and research; she shouldn't try to be what they both knew she couldn't.
Neville was very patient. He was willing to persist in his mentoring for as long as Hannah would need him. Under his guidance, she would eventually abandon those pointless hobbies.
3. The Best Couple
"I miss the old Neville."
Neville had heard it from Hermione, amidst a harsh argument that had put an end to their friendship.
He couldn't recall the actual reason behind their fight anymore. He could vaguely remember that it had had something to do with Hermione making some silly remark on his treatment of Hannah. He took issue with her comment and retorted, she snapped back, and things got worse and worse.
Even four years after the argument, Neville would still catch himself thinking of that sentence from time to time. Naturally, he didn't agree with his nosy former friend. He didn't see why anyone should miss "the old Neville."
His current self was the direct product of all the hardships over which the had triumphed during his Hogwarts years, particularly after his fourth year. His old self would always be lost in shyness and self-doubt. Thanks to his activities as a member of Dumbledore's Army, Neville had learnt to see his fears for what they were: useless ghosts that hindered him from becoming an adult and honouring his family's heroic tradition. This realisation had allowed him to put all his weaknesses aside and grow into the determined, strong and self-assured man he was nowadays. He took immense pride in all his victories, and he wouldn't let anyone take that away from him.
It was funny that Hermione had mentioned "the old Neville" right in the middle of an argument about his marriage. Neville knew that his relationship with Hannah was successful because by the time they started it, he was no longer his old self. They had remained happily united for all those years because he was the strong, confident man his fragile wife needed him to be. If he still was "the old Neville," he would have been unable to support and guide Hannah, which would have led her to fight problems and make decisions on her own. What a worthless husband he would have been! And theirs would probably have been one more among many other failed marriages involving former Hogwarts students from their generation.
Hermione herself had divorced Ron due to his many infidelities. Harry and Ginny had completely lost interest in each other. Angelina used to say she had got sick of being married to a ghost rather than to a real living man. Lavender and Parvati's marriage had perished soon after the latter accepted an offer to work overseas. Malfoy was known to spend more time with Pansy Parkinson than with his actual wife.
Neville didn't like prying into anyone else's affairs, but those facts were no secret to any Leaky Cauldron's habitués; at the pub, gossipping seemed to be just as important as drinking or eating. That was how Neville kept informed-even if involuntarily-about so many unsuccessful marriages.
He could only be glad that his own marriage had never animated any of the chats held around the Leaky Cauldron's tables. And it never would, because he formed a perfect couple with Hannah. Their relationship would never be in danger.
Granted, theirs wasn't the only successful marriage Neville knew of. Dean and Luna looked quite happy together; so did Katie and Alicia. But Neville was sure that he shared something very special with Hannah; something that his (current or former) friends and acquaintances couldn't understand. He was also sure that Hannah and he owed their happiness to his having left "the old Neville" behind. The positive changes he had gone through during his adolescence had made him able to provide Hannah with all that she needed, and this was the key to their harmony.
0. Not Quite the Best Wife
"Won't you even breath without talking to him first?"
Hannah had a start at Susan's harsh words and tone. Her best friend was usually a sweet, understanding woman.
While Hannah laid two cups of Butterbeer down on the bar desk, an old, reoccurring thought crossed her mind once again: Susan could just be jealous. She swore she didn't hold any grudges, but Hannah wasn't so sure about this. She had left Susan for Neville after all. It had been many years ago, and Hannah knew that Susan hadn't spent all that time alone; she appeared to have moved on. But what if deep inside Susan still saw Neville as a rival? Couldn't this be the reason why her comments on Hannah's marriage were sometimes less than fair?
Hannah got a bit hurt when someone implied in any way that Neville should be a better husband to her. How could anyone dare think low of him? He was a wonderful man!
Neville was a renowned war hero, he had been an excellent Auror and he was a brilliant teacher and author. One of his books was even used in classes at Hogwarts. He was one of those special human beings that the ordinary couldn't always understand. Hannah herself had difficulties trying to grasp the grandiosity of his doings. That was because she was too little in comparison to her husband; in fact, a comparison between them wasn't really possible. He was deservedly famous for his leadership, his bravery, his wizarding skills, and his vast knowledge on Herbology and associated fields.
She just ran a pub.
Neville could have married someone else, couldn't he? Hannah knew she had never been and would never be his equal. She had never done anything important in her life. She lacked any remarkable qualities. In fact, she was quite awkward and stupid. She couldn't even bear her husband children. It was a miracle that in spite of her being like she was, Neville still remained married to her.
In addition to his many qualities as a wizard, Neville was also a fantastic husband. He was loving, caring and protective. Whenever Hannah felt sad, she could trust him to brighten her day with his heartwarming smiles and his affectionate voice. He never let her waste her time trying to do things that were beyond her competence. He always had a wise piece of advice to share with her. When they found out it was her fault that they couldn't have children, he had been so understanding; he had explained that he wouldn't leave her because taking care of her was enough to fulfil him. That had been one of the most touching things she had ever heard. She had almost managed to feel somewhat special that day.
Being special-even if only for a few instants-was one of those dreams that Hannah couldn't stop dreaming, even though she knew that was an unattainable aspiration. This was one of the reasons why experimental magic intrigued her so much. In her spare time, she would read countless magazines, books and newspaper articles in search of unusual incantations, unique potion recipes, alternative uses for magical plants and rare magical instruments that she could combine to create something new. Something special. Something that could make her feel as though she wasn't so undeserving of her wonderful Neville.
Ironically, her tests with spells, potions and plants made her husband quite worried. Whenever he caught her in the middle of a particularly complex operation, he advised her to interrupt it. She always listened to him. He was a much respected teacher; surely he was in a much better position than her to identify risky and/or potentially fruitless activities. However, she could never resist the urge to experiment with magic again for too long. That was her favourite pass time; it was also her only source of hope of becoming a less ordinary witch someday. Hannah was quite sure that Neville understood her feelings on this; he was so sensitive. He could simply forbid her from performing further experiments, and tell her to cancel her magazine subscriptions. Instead, he would just express his concerns over her safety and offer her his invaluable advice.
Hannah wasn't just in love with her Neville; she was deeply and intensely grateful to him.
It was a shame that sometimes Susan decided to act unlike her usual lovely self and make unwelcome remarks like that. But Hannah didn't want to have an argument with Susan; she didn't want to risk losing Susan's friendship. Hannah was terrified of loneliness and rejection.
So, instead of complaining about Susan's unnecessarily harsh words, Hannah thought it best to dismiss them as an exaggeration on her friend's part. She took a sip of her Butterbeer and said as casually as she could:
"Don't go so over the top, Susan."