Step Back Chapter 7
Title: Step Back | Henry Lau and Kwon Ji Yong | PG-13 | Crossover: Big Bang/Super Junior | Crack pairing
The guy was just weird as hell.
That wasn’t really great news, but the way he could just change to a very random topic in seconds, or how he could basically get out of the reality he was living in, trapped within his mind, thoughts…it just got him in the nerve.
Ji basically was ignoring him and that made Henry very upset, since, well, he was basically getting in the way with what he had planned for days, and when he finally let him in, all the guy did was disappear without any previous warn and scare the shit out of Henry because he even thought Ji had been eaten by bears and then he would have returned home bearing all the guilt of the guy’s death in his shoulders and if Seung Hyun-ah knew, Henry would probably had to bid goodbye to his front teeth and, well, whole face in general.
And he was completely sure he didn’t want it, so he literally felt his soul coming back to his body when he spotted Ji standing clueless near the improvised settlement they had both set together the night before.
Bringing some goddamned sandwiches along. God.
He hated them, ever since he was a little kid, he just couldn’t take sandwiches at all.
‘But, hey, those are most likely to be the only food you’ll be able to eat throughout the whole day’
Okay, so he had to eat them. Along with that strange dude who also happened to be over the clouds all day long, not noticing what was happening around.
God, he hated him.
And then he had to address him as if he was a close friend, heck, he wasn’t even what Henry would consider a ‘buddy’.
He was just his stalker. Perhaps Ji was a xenophobic who couldn’t stand watching a foreigner roaming around his school and he would kill him in his sleep, or probably he was going to kidnap him and sell him to some random, low-class brothel and he would be forced to work as a gigolo, or perhaps Ji tried to find out the most intimate secrets Henry had and then boast about them to the rest of the school, like, God, why, what if he finds out Henry once cheated at the Math test, or what if he discovers that Henry once cried a lot because he missed his mom and his home back there in Canada?
What if he finds out that Henry had boyfriends instead of girlfriends and that he didn’t swing the way normal people did? Was he going to tell everyone? Would someone else find out? What if he became the outcast at school just because of that? Was he going to be forced to abandon South Korea as soon as possible in order to not let his gayness infect others? Was he going to be beaten up just like that Australian fellow?
Okay he had to stop, he was just as paranoid as fuck and he would sooner or later get a mental breakdown due to his excessive amount of imagination.
‘Ji doesn’t know about me, Henry Lau, the perfect, role-model student, cheating during an exam’
‘Ji Yong doesn’t know about me, Henry Lau, the cool and always relaxed boy, to have cried because I felt homesick’
‘Kwon Ji Yong doesn’t know about me, Henry Lau, being a fag. There’s no way he could know, No one else does, just a few important people and that is all’
Chill out, Henry, you are gonna be okay. No one’s going to reveal your most inner secrets.
-
Just as much as he tried -and truth be told, he was trying very hard- he just couldn’t bring himself to understand him.
“What do you even expect to get from being with me?” Henry asked, a little bit irritated.
“Huh, nothing special, actually” Henry could swear he was smirking. “Just trying to kill some time”
“I don’t believe you” God, did the guy really thought he was an idiot? “There must be something, don’t try to deceive me”
Ji laughed out loud.
“I am not deceiving you! I just don’t really expect anything!” Ji punched Henry’s shoulder softly, in a playful way. “God! Why are you always so paranoid? It’s not like I am going to rob you or something!”
Well, at least Ji wasn’t going to hit him to death and then steal away his stuff. That somehow made Henry relieved, he just nodded and leaned back to rest a little.
And then there was a painfully awkward moment of silence, which was later broken by Ji and his first complaint to Henry:
“God, why are you being like this?” Like this? What was he trying to say? “I mean, you are always suspecting, and you barely smile, and then you want me out of your life but the next thing you ask me is to sit down with you and then you start out a conversation and when I try to reply you fall asleep and then when I try to bring you food you just think I am going to do something terribly bad to you and it’s just so confusing!” Ji Yong had to stop in order to gain some more air. And Henry almost choked because he wasn’t expecting a sudden rambling of how rude he was.
“It’s not like I am ditching to you about how much you need to be less rude but…” How did Ji could put this? “I don’t get why you are always so stiffened around with me…I mean I know we are not that close, and that I stalk you, but…do you think I am going to do something bad to you?”
Henry gulped some saliva. He wasn’t expecting this. Truth be told, he wasn’t expecting any of this, yet he wasn’t really complaining.
“I am sorry if I make you feel uneasy, but I want to know if you really feel comfortable with me around. If you don’t, just tell me and I won’t be a burden to you anymore, I will just stay away…”
“I don’t like you” Henry blurted out.
Why was he going to lie? He really felt this uneasy with Ji Yong around, and although he was grateful because he brought Mi’s bag back, and because he got him breakfast, that didn’t change the fact he was just trying to be friendly and kind, but that he was still disliking the lad.
Ji kept silent. Perhaps he was left dumbfounded, or perhaps he was waiting for that answer exactly. Henry would never know, and honestly speaking he didn’t want to know.
“I just don’t like you, some of my friends had told me you are crazy and impulsive, and I don’t like people who are like that. There’s also the fact you follow me everywhere, and I don’t know why, perhaps you are obsessed with me, or crushing over me, don’t really want to know.”
Okay, perhaps that was a bit too harsh, but hey, Ji was asking for the truth, right?
“Don’t misunderstand me, I truly am grateful for all you have done for me lately, but, I just don’t feel as if I should act more carefree with you around.”
He turned his face, wanting to see the other lad’s reaction.
Disappointment. That’s what he saw.
Ji could hide his feelings very well, and Henry would find it very hard to read his face at the beginning, but, much to his surprise, he could clearly see through the mask now, as if Ji would’ve put it down.
He felt so bad, he felt like a bully. Henry opened his mouth to say something else, something nicer, but words didn’t come to his mind.
“I see…” Ji sighed, looking at some spot on the floor. “But…you don’t hate me, right?”
“It is impossible to hate someone if you have never loved them“
“I get, it…you want me out of your life…as I said I won’t be a burden to you”
“Perhaps if I get to know you more…my opinion might change…”
Ji sighed. Henry really felt bad for telling him what he really tought about the lad.
“I don’t like people having a wrong image of me” Ji suddenly sounded just too cheerful “I might start working in order to make you change your mind!”
Henry couldn’t help but smile a bit. Just a bit.