I think I moaned out G-Dragon instead of Jiyong? - Oneshot
Title: I think I moaned out G-Dragon instead of Jiyong?| Henry Lau and Kwon Ji Yong | PG-17 | Crossover: Big Bang/Super Junior | Crack pairing, crack content in general and mentions of gay sex and wet dreams. Bassically a rambling froma very awkward young man who dreams of his OTP.
It’s not like I was consciously gay ever since the beginning. There are just some things that come by themselves without you noticing, or that you end up noticing they had always been there at the very last minute; my homosexuality was like either of those. (I cannot recall which one, though, just leave it like that).
I should start off by saying he was there, and I was here. He was a celebrity, so was I. I was the Canadian cutie; he was the cool hip-hop Korean boy who basically exhaled oxygen turned into swag. I could tell you that right after we met everything became pink and fluffy and very mushy and soon I found myself flailing around as if I were walking into clouds accompanied by pink fluffy unicorns; I could even say I was hopelessly drooling over him, but that would be the biggest lie I could ever tell to anyone.
It’s not like I am easy to fall for people! I was just…hectic that day.
Okay well, I should admit I was being the usual self I always am, but I was also feeling sloppy and like an idiot. My senses were not working and my brain was dead.
Should I mention at that time I almost wasn’t getting any sleep? I spent all day rehearsing and practicing and sometimes recording. Well, you now get why I was crazed. People get stupid when they don’t get any sleep, you should already know that.
Well, perhaps you are now wondering what I was exactly doing at a Korean music show when I am supposed to focus on the Chinese market. The answer is quite simple: I have been gifted the amazing bounty of breathing relief onto someone.
Not metaphorically speaking. I do make someone feel relief once I have breathed onto them.
Okay well that just sounds weird. But you should see the things I am capable of.
Okay well so the Super Junior hyungs needed me so badly because they were all feeling distressed and were in need of some Henry Lau to make them feel at ease.
But then again sloppy people tend to do stupid things, and even when Heechul hyung told me not to talk to any stranger out there when feeling like that I just couldn’t.
Perhaps my body already knew I was just about to meet the love of my life that day, because I happened to stumble upon the person some people would just avoid if they were in their right minds.
But I just couldn’t because I wasn’t even looking at him when I tripped on. I was just trying to keep my eyes open, secretly cursing onto my dorky hyungs and wishing I were in bed at that time.
I think I stepped onto his right foot and almost made him fall down.
“Ow!” I heard him say. “What’s your problem?”
Have I mentioned my brain wasn’t working at that time? Because it just wasn’t; like, I was telling it to start working already but it just turned off every time I tried to keep it on.
I should also mention the fact I kept walking like a brainless zombie and completely ignored him that time.
The second time we met was at the recording of Strong Heart. I especially cherish that moment since I remember my heart was pounding restlessly as that was the first time I ever appeared on a Korean TV show. Also perhaps because I was afraid of falling asleep during the whole thing, I wouldn’t know.
Perhaps my craziness was due the fact I was aware of the person that was also assisting to that recording. The guy I just stumble upon that other day when I had to breathe onto my hyungs.
Just to shorten the rant, I apologized and he thought I was cute. He clapped frenetically during my performance and he gave me his number and I just thought it could be a great idea to hit him up anytime soon and tell everyone I just befriended the most popular idol in Korea and that it had been awesome because we were just so close now and that we would make a future collaboration together so I think I bookmarked his number on my phone.
But it could also have been because I thought he was cute too? I don’t know.
It was no surprise when I found myself lying down a very expensive and comfortable couch in one of the most chic, exclusive places of all Seoul laughing and giggling and making out with Kwon Jiyong that I seriously thought I was having problems???? Because anyone can get horny anytime and feel like wanting to make out with anything that breathes and I think that also applies to idols as well??? How would I know? He was so freaking hot that night and so I thought it would be interesting to bump into him and almost rip his clothes off (not that he wasn’t also doing that with my outfit so) and bit his neck and make myself rock my hips beneath him???
Okay, I thought I had been depriving my sexual desire for too long and that it was just a perfect moment to release all the long kept human needs within me so I just went along with the vibe.
And, man. That was the best making-out I have had in a very long while so I think back then I didn’t regret almost having sex with another dude.
“We should stop here” Jiyong panted out after almost sucking dry my mouth. “It’s not the proper place to do it”
“Who gives a fuck about it?” I was so sexually frustrated I think I just got upset.
“I’ve got a name to look after, and I think you should do the same too”
“Oh C’mon. It was just getting more exciting…”
“I will drive you home.”
To sum it up: we fucked each other that night and I think I moaned out ‘G-Dragon’ instead of ‘Jiyong’ or whatever I was supposed to say at that time when both of us came so painfully hard tied into each other’s embrace and right after we were done we fell heavily asleep embraced into each other’s arms and that pretty much was it. I woke up at the sight of my naked body twinned with the slender frame of the boy I just gave my anal virginity to and to the weirdest of the things I realized I liked having gay sex with Kwon Jiyong.
Okay I didn’t realize I liked holding gay coital relationships, I just realized my ass itched and I found it really hard to sit and I think I made all my band mates get suspicious.
Donghae slapped my butt and I yelled lowly at the feel of pain down my anus.
“You had fun tonight?”
“Eh? I guess so”
Ryoewook cracked into a high school girl-like giggle and I think Kyuhyun just winked at me?
Later on, Zhou Mi texted me asking if I was gay or not.
Two hours later, a text message from YKW arrived and I think I jumped a little because I seriously didn’t know how much of a pimp Kwon was.
Like, never figured it out.
“I think I like now the way you say my stage name ;)”
“Fuck off”
“Only with you”
“sfdghfsdds”
Okay so now I think you already know what goes next: We had a scandal after several photos and a video of us together were leaked out and then Big Bang held a press conference to state Jiyong’s sexuality and that TOP guy ruined it off by saying “Ever since I know him Jiyong had always had this aura of being as gay as a rainbow so I think I don’t have any problem at all” and so a statement released by my label saying they were utterly shocked as they thought I was the most heterosexual out all fifteen but I guess that was because of that HenBer ship but oh well, whatever.
The point is that now we just got out of the closet and are really happy living together and having gay sex and doing cute stuff couples do and the gay sex and the fights we have and then the make up gay sex and now that we have retired from our idol life and happily settled down in Canada where gay matrimony is accepted I think I want a baby.
This is when this old strange grandma popped out of nowhere and told me to accompany her to a certain place that might as well be a blessing to me.
She walked over a vegetable store and handed me a carrot, a cabbage patch and a turnip bud.
“Here, plant these and you’ll see your pleas answered”
I should confess my mother had always warned me about strange old ladies who encourage you into doing strange things but I think I was just desperate because I wanted a child so badly I just didn’t listen to it at all?
I worked out well, tho. Our babies grew up and were born from a plant and became successful world leaders and I think at that time I woke up from bed because Ryeowook-hyung was shaking me like a mad man and he told me I was having a very weird wet dream involving gay sex, G-Dragon and babies born from a cabbage just like those dolls they sell at the toy stores.
I asked him to keep that secret. So far he has been doing great in keeping it.
It’s not like I was consciously gay ever since the beginning. There are just some things that come by themselves without you noticing, or that you end up noticing they had always been there at the very last minute; my homosexuality was like either of those. (I cannot recall which one, though, just leave it like that).
I should start off by saying he was there, and I was here. He was a celebrity, so was I. I was the Canadian cutie; he was the cool hip-hop Korean boy who basically exhaled oxygen turned into swag. I could tell you that right after we met everything became pink and fluffy and very mushy and soon I found myself flailing around as if I were walking into clouds accompanied by pink fluffy unicorns; I could even say I was hopelessly drooling over him, but that would be the biggest lie I could ever tell to anyone.
It’s not like I am easy to fall for people! I was just…hectic that day.
Okay well, I should admit I was being the usual self I always am, but I was also feeling sloppy and like an idiot. My senses were not working and my brain was dead.
Should I mention at that time I almost wasn’t getting any sleep? I spent all day rehearsing and practicing and sometimes recording. Well, you now get why I was crazed. People get stupid when they don’t get any sleep, you should already know that.
Well, perhaps you are now wondering what I was exactly doing at a Korean music show when I am supposed to focus on the Chinese market. The answer is quite simple: I have been gifted the amazing bounty of breathing relief onto someone.
Not metaphorically speaking. I do make someone feel relief once I have breathed onto them.
Okay well that just sounds weird. But you should see the things I am capable of.
Okay well so the Super Junior hyungs needed me so badly because they were all feeling distressed and were in need of some Henry Lau to make them feel at ease.
But then again sloppy people tend to do stupid things, and even when Heechul hyung told me not to talk to any stranger out there when feeling like that I just couldn’t.
Perhaps my body already knew I was just about to meet the love of my life that day, because I happened to stumble upon the person some people would just avoid if they were in their right minds.
But I just couldn’t because I wasn’t even looking at him when I tripped on. I was just trying to keep my eyes open, secretly cursing onto my dorky hyungs and wishing I were in bed at that time.
I think I stepped onto his right foot and almost made him fall down.
“Ow!” I heard him say. “What’s your problem?”
Have I mentioned my brain wasn’t working at that time? Because it just wasn’t; like, I was telling it to start working already but it just turned off every time I tried to keep it on.
I should also mention the fact I kept walking like a brainless zombie and completely ignored him that time.
The second time we met was at the recording of Strong Heart. I especially cherish that moment since I remember my heart was pounding restlessly as that was the first time I ever appeared on a Korean TV show. Also perhaps because I was afraid of falling asleep during the whole thing, I wouldn’t know.
Perhaps my craziness was due the fact I was aware of the person that was also assisting to that recording. The guy I just stumble upon that other day when I had to breathe onto my hyungs.
Just to shorten the rant, I apologized and he thought I was cute. He clapped frenetically during my performance and he gave me his number and I just thought it could be a great idea to hit him up anytime soon and tell everyone I just befriended the most popular idol in Korea and that it had been awesome because we were just so close now and that we would make a future collaboration together so I think I bookmarked his number on my phone.
But it could also have been because I thought he was cute too? I don’t know.
It was no surprise when I found myself lying down a very expensive and comfortable couch in one of the most chic, exclusive places of all Seoul laughing and giggling and making out with Kwon Jiyong that I seriously thought I was having problems???? Because anyone can get horny anytime and feel like wanting to make out with anything that breathes and I think that also applies to idols as well??? How would I know? He was so freaking hot that night and so I thought it would be interesting to bump into him and almost rip his clothes off (not that he wasn’t also doing that with my outfit so) and bit his neck and make myself rock my hips beneath him???
Okay, I thought I had been depriving my sexual desire for too long and that it was just a perfect moment to release all the long kept human needs within me so I just went along with the vibe.
And, man. That was the best making-out I have had in a very long while so I think back then I didn’t regret almost having sex with another dude.
“We should stop here” Jiyong panted out after almost sucking dry my mouth. “It’s not the proper place to do it”
“Who gives a fuck about it?” I was so sexually frustrated I think I just got upset.
“I’ve got a name to look after, and I think you should do the same too”
“Oh C’mon. It was just getting more exciting…”
“I will drive you home.”
To sum it up: we fucked each other that night and I think I moaned out ‘G-Dragon’ instead of ‘Jiyong’ or whatever I was supposed to say at that time when both of us came so painfully hard tied into each other’s embrace and right after we were done we fell heavily asleep embraced into each other’s arms and that pretty much was it. I woke up at the sight of my naked body twinned with the slender frame of the boy I just gave my anal virginity to and to the weirdest of the things I realized I liked having gay sex with Kwon Jiyong.
Okay I didn’t realize I liked holding gay coital relationships, I just realized my ass itched and I found it really hard to sit and I think I made all my band mates get suspicious.
Donghae slapped my butt and I yelled lowly at the feel of pain down my anus.
“You had fun tonight?”
“Eh? I guess so”
Ryoewook cracked into a high school girl-like giggle and I think Kyuhyun just winked at me?
Later on, Zhou Mi texted me asking if I was gay or not.
Two hours later, a text message from YKW arrived and I think I jumped a little because I seriously didn’t know how much of a pimp Kwon was.
Like, never figured it out.
“I think I like now the way you say my stage name ;)”
“Fuck off”
“Only with you”
“sfdghfsdds”
Okay so now I think you already know what goes next: We had a scandal after several photos and a video of us together were leaked out and then Big Bang held a press conference to state Jiyong’s sexuality and that TOP guy ruined it off by saying “Ever since I know him Jiyong had always had this aura of being as gay as a rainbow so I think I don’t have any problem at all” and so a statement released by my label saying they were utterly shocked as they thought I was the most heterosexual out all fifteen but I guess that was because of that HenBer ship but oh well, whatever.
The point is that now we just got out of the closet and are really happy living together and having gay sex and doing cute stuff couples do and the gay sex and the fights we have and then the make up gay sex and now that we have retired from our idol life and happily settled down in Canada where gay matrimony is accepted I think I want a baby.
This is when this old strange grandma popped out of nowhere and told me to accompany her to a certain place that might as well be a blessing to me.
She walked over a vegetable store and handed me a carrot, a cabbage patch and a turnip bud.
“Here, plant these and you’ll see your pleas answered”
I should confess my mother had always warned me about strange old ladies who encourage you into doing strange things but I think I was just desperate because I wanted a child so badly I just didn’t listen to it at all?
I worked out well, tho. Our babies grew up and were born from a plant and became successful world leaders and I think at that time I woke up from bed because Ryeowook-hyung was shaking me like a mad man and he told me I was having a very weird wet dream involving gay sex, G-Dragon and babies born from a cabbage just like those dolls they sell at the toy stores.
I asked him to keep that secret. So far he has been doing great in keeping it.