(no subject)
thanksgiving is dead to me.
i wake to a cold morning, cloudy. i spend the first few minutes of my day feeling blue from my walls. i think. about her, about my day, but probably mostly about her. she always leaves me guessing and never really sure. the morning's first steps are always the hardest. the final move from the bed to the floor. i crawl. the house doesn't feel like 72 degrees, but that's what thermo says. i beging my exposure to tv waves. dead waves. i'm sucked in. take a hit, get a blanket, and start my visual journey with aeon, the original aeon. another hit. i'm relaxed again, i could go to sleep. i get calls. first my aunt, returning my call. she's in myrtle beach, i cringe. happy, but now knowing today won't amount to much. i get great news that there will be a van going out to myrtle and my company would be liked. i would like that too. second call, it's her. the hi's, happy thanksgiving, and what are you doing'ings. she gave me an explanation i didn't ask for, but it makes great openers. i've learned to not let the little things bother me. i feel happy, she tends to do that, even if she has me guessing and never really sure. i make call three, it's jon. if i ever want quick old school company, i call jon. we go all the way back to the first grade. we compare and contrast. take a hits. watch aeon and then sin city. drink beers. i cook what is to be my thanksgiving feast: fish and rice. it's all i've ate all day. jon has a date with destiny and i end up calling her. she gives me news of people at matt's. i call, get invited, and drink beer. i head out. it's the first time i leave the house for the day. it's really cold. my new jacket works wonders against the cold wind. i get there and i'm greeted with a beer and texas hold'em. i suck, but end up in a tie by the time everyone arrives. she's here. i stumble over myself constantly. she makes me feel nervous. everything starts to speed up. beer after beer, i took a shot of crown. i've smoked cigs. many, too many. my night starts to turn into drunken wander. the basement, to the garage, and back to the basement only to repeat the process. this goes on for a few. i take a hit. i start to notice myself get quiet. i'm tired, bored. the final smoke, she sits alone. i bother her only for a second. i ask for her hand. i take out the pilot and blurb a "i heart u" on her hand. she peeks a smile. i say my goodbye's and come back to base. i felt good about my move. i'm home, sit on the couch and think about the night. i slowly snug myself under my blanket that i left on the couch. i fall asleep to jackass. i wake up to wild boys. i drag myself to the bed. i play the stills. i love this cd, too much. i warm my bed with my body, but only left thinking and listening to the stills. i don't think i ever drifted to sleep. it's now 6am and i'm thirsty. i go out to gas station and pick up a water and gatorade. i'm quenched.
i wake to a cold morning, cloudy. i spend the first few minutes of my day feeling blue from my walls. i think. about her, about my day, but probably mostly about her. she always leaves me guessing and never really sure. the morning's first steps are always the hardest. the final move from the bed to the floor. i crawl. the house doesn't feel like 72 degrees, but that's what thermo says. i beging my exposure to tv waves. dead waves. i'm sucked in. take a hit, get a blanket, and start my visual journey with aeon, the original aeon. another hit. i'm relaxed again, i could go to sleep. i get calls. first my aunt, returning my call. she's in myrtle beach, i cringe. happy, but now knowing today won't amount to much. i get great news that there will be a van going out to myrtle and my company would be liked. i would like that too. second call, it's her. the hi's, happy thanksgiving, and what are you doing'ings. she gave me an explanation i didn't ask for, but it makes great openers. i've learned to not let the little things bother me. i feel happy, she tends to do that, even if she has me guessing and never really sure. i make call three, it's jon. if i ever want quick old school company, i call jon. we go all the way back to the first grade. we compare and contrast. take a hits. watch aeon and then sin city. drink beers. i cook what is to be my thanksgiving feast: fish and rice. it's all i've ate all day. jon has a date with destiny and i end up calling her. she gives me news of people at matt's. i call, get invited, and drink beer. i head out. it's the first time i leave the house for the day. it's really cold. my new jacket works wonders against the cold wind. i get there and i'm greeted with a beer and texas hold'em. i suck, but end up in a tie by the time everyone arrives. she's here. i stumble over myself constantly. she makes me feel nervous. everything starts to speed up. beer after beer, i took a shot of crown. i've smoked cigs. many, too many. my night starts to turn into drunken wander. the basement, to the garage, and back to the basement only to repeat the process. this goes on for a few. i take a hit. i start to notice myself get quiet. i'm tired, bored. the final smoke, she sits alone. i bother her only for a second. i ask for her hand. i take out the pilot and blurb a "i heart u" on her hand. she peeks a smile. i say my goodbye's and come back to base. i felt good about my move. i'm home, sit on the couch and think about the night. i slowly snug myself under my blanket that i left on the couch. i fall asleep to jackass. i wake up to wild boys. i drag myself to the bed. i play the stills. i love this cd, too much. i warm my bed with my body, but only left thinking and listening to the stills. i don't think i ever drifted to sleep. it's now 6am and i'm thirsty. i go out to gas station and pick up a water and gatorade. i'm quenched.