we could have been
We Could Have Been
homin; pg
romance
812 words
01. | 02.
a series of unrelated one-shots for the holidays. all homin, all love ♥
Blink, and you don’t know where you are.
You jump from scene to scene of your life, disjointed and unaware. You fall into parts and play them as well as you can - but the real you has been cut out, strips of film fluttering to the cutting room floor and swept away. Forgotten. It’s like-
Blink. You’re at a Christmas dinner. You’re smiling and you don’t know why. You help set out silverware for your mother and open presents from your family. You’re asked to say a toast and maybe you say something, maybe you don’t. But everyone keeps smiling like nothing’s wrong.
Blink and it’s almost dawn; you lie in bed and stare at the ceiling fan, counting down its slow revolutions. The curtains, they rustle; they whisper to you like they know you, like you know them. If you close your eyes, maybe you can hear-
Open your eyes and see a kitchen painted in pastel tones. Soothing tones. There’s a little box of pills set on the table, one for each day of the week MTWTHF. Today there’s a red pill, a white pill. You take four extra but no one’s there to notice.
Now it’s another Christmas party. People are laughing and drinking and passing presents. You know they are your friends but you aren’t talking. Your head feels empty and you’ve got nothing to say. Someone passes you a glass of champagne.
‘You’re supposed to be having fun, Yunho,' says your friend, the one with the big, dark eyes. The drink is cold, the glass is frosted, and it sucks the heat from your skin.
Blink and it’s night, pitch-black and you can’t see a thing. You feel along the walls of your bedroom with hands that are still cold. Everything is where is should be, as it should be.
You get to the bathroom and shuffle slow across the floor, arms reaching into the empty open space. Where are you, where are you - your hands touch the mirror, press flat against it as if through the darkness you could feel out the contours of its reflection.
You don’t know how to stop. Or how to start. It’s not like you can just slice the missing pieces back in when you don’t know what you’re missing. They’ve been swept away, discarded like useless, lifeless remains. You don’t know what you’re missing at all.
Cut to you, driving, and outside your car it is snowing. You’re stopped at a signal even though it’s a green light. You’ve got flowers in your passenger seat. You bought them for someone, you know. But there isn’t anyone, is there? Was there-
Blink. It’s evening, you sit on a couch. Microwave dinner on your lap and you have no life. You watch television and it’s like the actor’s speaking to you. What’s going on? What’s happening? he screams, like it’s a horror movie. You know about movies. The phone rings-
And then you’re on a crowded sidewalk. Still snowing, white on grey. Grid-lock on the streets. Noises bounce off the walls of high-rises. Car horns, blaring. You wonder why you can’t stop shaking and why the world doesn’t have any color. It’s like-
There’s you. Someone else. Together, smiling, one moment - still frame, single shot. Is this a memory? Is this real? Are you real?
But you can’t know. You can’t. don’t-
Blink. Again the pills MTWTHF - dump them all out, hear them scatter-patter along the table top. You pick them up and lay them in a circle like you’re decorating a Christmas wreath. Blue white blue, green green red, white blue white, red red green. The ceiling fan stirs the air so that it raises the hair on the back of your neck. You take every pill. every last one.
Blink. Again the friend, the one the big, dark eyes. He’s driving you this time. You’re in his passenger seat. He says he’s taking you somewhere, somewhere you’ll be okay. You watch the scenery pass by. In the twilight the dark figures of trees blend, fragment, like you’re blinking too fast. Like they’re being filmed in stop-motion. But you’re looking closely, between the frames and you see the figure. You see him in the distance.
Stop the car! Stop the car! you’re yelling, over and over and your friend swerves off the road -‘God, you scared me! What’s going on?’- but you can’t answer because you’re already out and running.
Blink and the road is far behind you. Blink and you run through the forest ‘til you’re lost. Blink and there’s nothing left but the trees and the snow and you. Blink and there’s him-
There. He’s waiting, arms open. Here you are, he says, here you are. And he wraps his arms around you like the wind, whispers swaying in your ear. You feel-
Blink, and you don’t know where you are. But it's cold.
| 04. | 05.
started writing: 12/27/09
finished writing: 12/27/09
master list
Free Hit Counter
So... it orginally wasn't supposed to be like this :P I had a fic started long before I even finished 02 - but then it just kept going, and I kept starting new ones to try and finish something quickly and then they got too long, too LOL D: Fortunately this random stroke of inspiration came to me earlier today and I wrote it in, like, an hour. I like horror, what can I say? ;D At least it's something...? ^^;
Two more to go (at least!), hopefully by New Years, and all will be back to the love ♥, promise! :'D
homin; pg
romance
812 words
01. | 02.
a series of unrelated one-shots for the holidays. all homin, all love ♥
Blink, and you don’t know where you are.
You jump from scene to scene of your life, disjointed and unaware. You fall into parts and play them as well as you can - but the real you has been cut out, strips of film fluttering to the cutting room floor and swept away. Forgotten. It’s like-
Blink. You’re at a Christmas dinner. You’re smiling and you don’t know why. You help set out silverware for your mother and open presents from your family. You’re asked to say a toast and maybe you say something, maybe you don’t. But everyone keeps smiling like nothing’s wrong.
Blink and it’s almost dawn; you lie in bed and stare at the ceiling fan, counting down its slow revolutions. The curtains, they rustle; they whisper to you like they know you, like you know them. If you close your eyes, maybe you can hear-
Open your eyes and see a kitchen painted in pastel tones. Soothing tones. There’s a little box of pills set on the table, one for each day of the week MTWTHF. Today there’s a red pill, a white pill. You take four extra but no one’s there to notice.
Now it’s another Christmas party. People are laughing and drinking and passing presents. You know they are your friends but you aren’t talking. Your head feels empty and you’ve got nothing to say. Someone passes you a glass of champagne.
‘You’re supposed to be having fun, Yunho,' says your friend, the one with the big, dark eyes. The drink is cold, the glass is frosted, and it sucks the heat from your skin.
Blink and it’s night, pitch-black and you can’t see a thing. You feel along the walls of your bedroom with hands that are still cold. Everything is where is should be, as it should be.
You get to the bathroom and shuffle slow across the floor, arms reaching into the empty open space. Where are you, where are you - your hands touch the mirror, press flat against it as if through the darkness you could feel out the contours of its reflection.
You don’t know how to stop. Or how to start. It’s not like you can just slice the missing pieces back in when you don’t know what you’re missing. They’ve been swept away, discarded like useless, lifeless remains. You don’t know what you’re missing at all.
Cut to you, driving, and outside your car it is snowing. You’re stopped at a signal even though it’s a green light. You’ve got flowers in your passenger seat. You bought them for someone, you know. But there isn’t anyone, is there? Was there-
Blink. It’s evening, you sit on a couch. Microwave dinner on your lap and you have no life. You watch television and it’s like the actor’s speaking to you. What’s going on? What’s happening? he screams, like it’s a horror movie. You know about movies. The phone rings-
And then you’re on a crowded sidewalk. Still snowing, white on grey. Grid-lock on the streets. Noises bounce off the walls of high-rises. Car horns, blaring. You wonder why you can’t stop shaking and why the world doesn’t have any color. It’s like-
There’s you. Someone else. Together, smiling, one moment - still frame, single shot. Is this a memory? Is this real? Are you real?
But you can’t know. You can’t. don’t-
Blink. Again the pills MTWTHF - dump them all out, hear them scatter-patter along the table top. You pick them up and lay them in a circle like you’re decorating a Christmas wreath. Blue white blue, green green red, white blue white, red red green. The ceiling fan stirs the air so that it raises the hair on the back of your neck. You take every pill. every last one.
Blink. Again the friend, the one the big, dark eyes. He’s driving you this time. You’re in his passenger seat. He says he’s taking you somewhere, somewhere you’ll be okay. You watch the scenery pass by. In the twilight the dark figures of trees blend, fragment, like you’re blinking too fast. Like they’re being filmed in stop-motion. But you’re looking closely, between the frames and you see the figure. You see him in the distance.
Stop the car! Stop the car! you’re yelling, over and over and your friend swerves off the road -‘God, you scared me! What’s going on?’- but you can’t answer because you’re already out and running.
Blink and the road is far behind you. Blink and you run through the forest ‘til you’re lost. Blink and there’s nothing left but the trees and the snow and you. Blink and there’s him-
There. He’s waiting, arms open. Here you are, he says, here you are. And he wraps his arms around you like the wind, whispers swaying in your ear. You feel-
Blink, and you don’t know where you are. But it's cold.
| 04. | 05.
started writing: 12/27/09
finished writing: 12/27/09
master list
Free Hit Counter
So... it orginally wasn't supposed to be like this :P I had a fic started long before I even finished 02 - but then it just kept going, and I kept starting new ones to try and finish something quickly and then they got too long, too LOL D: Fortunately this random stroke of inspiration came to me earlier today and I wrote it in, like, an hour. I like horror, what can I say? ;D At least it's something...? ^^;
Two more to go (at least!), hopefully by New Years, and all will be back to the love ♥, promise! :'D