wut
I wrote pokemon fanfiction
what the fuck
A young boy from Twinleaf town left home to become a Pokemon trainer at the age of ten, as so many do. He grew up resenting his mother for bestowing upon him the name Jackass, though she insisted that forces beyond human comprehension commanded her to do so, and she could not help but obey. The boy started to understand as he was given the responsibility of naming- he was unusually gentle for a boy his age and wouldn't dream of naming his piplup Anal Sex, nor calling his prized Chansey by the name of Shit Dick. Yet somehow he felt compelled to give these terrible names, felt a crushing guilt afterwards, and he was thankful that his creatures did not understand what their titles signified.
In his travels, he encountered a place called the Global Trading Station- a marvel of modern technology. All he needed to do was step inside this building, and he could talk face-to-face with other trainers from miles away, and he was relieved to see that many others shared his naming eccentricities. Being a fairly new trainer, he didn't have what others around the globe were asking for the pokemon he wanted.
Just for kicks, he decided to see if anybody was offering a level 100 bidoof, and what they thought was a fair trade for it. He typed the specifications into the front computer, and soon, a single boy, dressed in customary bug catcher clothing, appeared in the center of the room, bidoof on his shoulder.
"I will only give you MrSniffles in exchange for the god Arceus," the child shouted like a command.
At the mention of the god's name, Jackass's knees buckled and his vision blurred. It was a name mankind was not ready to hear- even Jackass could tell, though it wasn't a name he knew. He asked, "How, uh, what, er, where did you learn that name?"
The boy in front of him laughed, "I bent reality itself to obtain knowledge of the whole universe!"
This talk was giving Jackass a splitting headache, but an obvious question stood out in his addled mind, "then why don't you just, you know, reach through space and time to get the god, if it's that simple?"
"I want others to figure out what you just did! Anybody can do it," the bug catcher grinned as he patted his Bidoof's head, and as Jackass looked closer at the stranger he could see that his face and the pokemon and the room around him were all made of tiny squares and he was growing lightheaded even though his own pokemon were all at full health and as he nearly drifted out of consciousness he was able to smack some buttons on the computer until he was the only person in the room.
He ran out, ignoring the secretary's requests that she finish recording his presence in the building and hopped down the plateaus all the way to his hometown. Fighting back tears, he burst into his house to hug his mother for the first time in years.
"I... I know now, Mom. It's not your fault or my fault. It's not anybody's fault."
what the fuck
A young boy from Twinleaf town left home to become a Pokemon trainer at the age of ten, as so many do. He grew up resenting his mother for bestowing upon him the name Jackass, though she insisted that forces beyond human comprehension commanded her to do so, and she could not help but obey. The boy started to understand as he was given the responsibility of naming- he was unusually gentle for a boy his age and wouldn't dream of naming his piplup Anal Sex, nor calling his prized Chansey by the name of Shit Dick. Yet somehow he felt compelled to give these terrible names, felt a crushing guilt afterwards, and he was thankful that his creatures did not understand what their titles signified.
In his travels, he encountered a place called the Global Trading Station- a marvel of modern technology. All he needed to do was step inside this building, and he could talk face-to-face with other trainers from miles away, and he was relieved to see that many others shared his naming eccentricities. Being a fairly new trainer, he didn't have what others around the globe were asking for the pokemon he wanted.
Just for kicks, he decided to see if anybody was offering a level 100 bidoof, and what they thought was a fair trade for it. He typed the specifications into the front computer, and soon, a single boy, dressed in customary bug catcher clothing, appeared in the center of the room, bidoof on his shoulder.
"I will only give you MrSniffles in exchange for the god Arceus," the child shouted like a command.
At the mention of the god's name, Jackass's knees buckled and his vision blurred. It was a name mankind was not ready to hear- even Jackass could tell, though it wasn't a name he knew. He asked, "How, uh, what, er, where did you learn that name?"
The boy in front of him laughed, "I bent reality itself to obtain knowledge of the whole universe!"
This talk was giving Jackass a splitting headache, but an obvious question stood out in his addled mind, "then why don't you just, you know, reach through space and time to get the god, if it's that simple?"
"I want others to figure out what you just did! Anybody can do it," the bug catcher grinned as he patted his Bidoof's head, and as Jackass looked closer at the stranger he could see that his face and the pokemon and the room around him were all made of tiny squares and he was growing lightheaded even though his own pokemon were all at full health and as he nearly drifted out of consciousness he was able to smack some buttons on the computer until he was the only person in the room.
He ran out, ignoring the secretary's requests that she finish recording his presence in the building and hopped down the plateaus all the way to his hometown. Fighting back tears, he burst into his house to hug his mother for the first time in years.
"I... I know now, Mom. It's not your fault or my fault. It's not anybody's fault."