should just rename this journal to "my bitching about college"
uh, if you look under the cut, it's your fault that you're looking at this big mopey mass of sad
I was so happy with college life! How has it taken such a sudden downturn this week? All of a sudden I'm completely miserable.
It's driving me crazy that I don't know the majority of my grades. I just get this feeling that I've gotten a C at the very highest on everything I haven't gotten back yet. It's taking me too long to do everything and even though I'm spending so much time trying to keep my grades up I still feel like I'm half assing everything. My parents call me and ask how I'm doing, I tell them I spent the whole day studying and they say they're proud of me. I feel so guilty whenever they say that, you don't even know.
It's almost midterms time! What if I'm doing everything wrong? What if I'm failing and I need to try something else?
A big part of this is the lack of solitude I mentioned in my last journal, it's really messing me up. people are always walking around the library, I can't really study there. Everytime my roommate walks behind me it just completely breaks my concentration, I feel that's probably part of it. This happens very often. (god why does she have to grab a change of clothes so often?). I'm starting to resent her but I feel like I'm doing a good job of hiding it. I can't tell her to leave the room, i can't tell her to stop getting stuff from her shelves, I'm not a total dick. I feel like I can't escape. there's just nowhere I can sit down and get to work by myself.
I know, I know, the answer to this problem is "deal with it" or "get used to it" or something to that effect. I'm trying to, so hard. I've been trying to.
I'm going to try grabbing a room to myself next year. I need it so badly.
I was so happy with college life! How has it taken such a sudden downturn this week? All of a sudden I'm completely miserable.
It's driving me crazy that I don't know the majority of my grades. I just get this feeling that I've gotten a C at the very highest on everything I haven't gotten back yet. It's taking me too long to do everything and even though I'm spending so much time trying to keep my grades up I still feel like I'm half assing everything. My parents call me and ask how I'm doing, I tell them I spent the whole day studying and they say they're proud of me. I feel so guilty whenever they say that, you don't even know.
It's almost midterms time! What if I'm doing everything wrong? What if I'm failing and I need to try something else?
A big part of this is the lack of solitude I mentioned in my last journal, it's really messing me up. people are always walking around the library, I can't really study there. Everytime my roommate walks behind me it just completely breaks my concentration, I feel that's probably part of it. This happens very often. (god why does she have to grab a change of clothes so often?). I'm starting to resent her but I feel like I'm doing a good job of hiding it. I can't tell her to leave the room, i can't tell her to stop getting stuff from her shelves, I'm not a total dick. I feel like I can't escape. there's just nowhere I can sit down and get to work by myself.
I know, I know, the answer to this problem is "deal with it" or "get used to it" or something to that effect. I'm trying to, so hard. I've been trying to.
I'm going to try grabbing a room to myself next year. I need it so badly.