I was briefly pondering this sort of thing earlier, when I mentioned my partners & the person corrected me to partner, & I briefly thought 'can I be bothered having this conversation? Or shall I just let the socially easy lie slide'. (I decided Yes, I would have the conversation, but kept it shorter than I normally would.) And then I started thinking about the privilege of passing, since I've been thinking about privilege a lot this weekend. And then I thought fuck it, I'm in the pub, I'm going to go and take part in a ridiculous conversation about drag queens on submarines, instead.
But, yes. Sometimes the truth is *more hassle*, and it's tempting not to bother. I am increasingly of the opinion that "more hassle" is not a good reason for avoiding the truth, either.
Well said - this is something that became very clear to me in December. I realised that it bothered me far more to make the people I love invisible in my life, than I was afraid or lazy to have 'the' conversation.
There is a freedom in being out about living poly, but there are still days that I experience sadness and some fear as well - but mostly I am pleased and enjoy the openness with which people - even at work, seem to take the situation when it comes up in conversation.
It's funny about pub conversations. I've got into a routine on Friday nights in Melbourne where I get myself in trouble, but for an interesting reason. Most people go out on Friday nights after a long week and get pissed and say what they really think. I do the same. Unfortunately, what I really think usually isn't something to do with sports or politics, it's some version of 'why the fk don't you get off your arse, grow quicker, and take more responsibility for your fkn life' ;) Which is roughly what I say to people when they start having their imavictimpoorme whines about trivial sht. It's like, I can put up with that stuff during the week because you need to to get on with work and life, but Friday nights are my time and I'm not going to self edit.
Not really a good case of the use of truth ;) More the use of ego, but there you go.
I'm usually nice and supportive and I actually have heaps of respect for wherever people are at
This is me too. I have learned so much and become much better friends with truth and the telling of it. With experiencing it as something that is freedom and power rather than something dire and terrifying.
But it's only since you mentioned this in passing (maybe not in passing? memory hazy...) when we spoke a while back - before March trip, that I started thinking of the privilege attached to it - as in, really getting my head around it from that angle as opposed to the singular perceptions on how it's more acceptable today to be or do x than it was decade(s) ago etc.
It's been very interesting thinking on this in the context of the lectures we've been doing on the construction of knowledge, culture and language - both units are talking about this in some form and it's fascinating.
i really feel this post at the moment. i've had a few chances lately to speak teh truth, depsite it being hard, and a gearing myself up fo rthe next one :)
Hope it goes well :) I've been really enjoying following your journal and sms's, sounds like you've been doing some great growth work. Might catch up with you guys in Perth in late October? I'm heading back for a couple of weeks - Dan xx
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But, yes. Sometimes the truth is *more hassle*, and it's tempting not to bother. I am increasingly of the opinion that "more hassle" is not a good reason for avoiding the truth, either.
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There is a freedom in being out about living poly, but there are still days that I experience sadness and some fear as well - but mostly I am pleased and enjoy the openness with which people - even at work, seem to take the situation when it comes up in conversation.
Reply
It's funny about pub conversations. I've got into a routine on Friday nights in Melbourne where I get myself in trouble, but for an interesting reason. Most people go out on Friday nights after a long week and get pissed and say what they really think. I do the same. Unfortunately, what I really think usually isn't something to do with sports or politics, it's some version of 'why the fk don't you get off your arse, grow quicker, and take more responsibility for your fkn life' ;) Which is roughly what I say to people when they start having their imavictimpoorme whines about trivial sht. It's like, I can put up with that stuff during the week because you need to to get on with work and life, but Friday nights are my time and I'm not going to self edit.
Not really a good case of the use of truth ;) More the use of ego, but there you go.
I'm usually nice and supportive and I actually have heaps of respect for wherever people are at
Reply
This is me too. I have learned so much and become much better friends with truth and the telling of it. With experiencing it as something that is freedom and power rather than something dire and terrifying.
But it's only since you mentioned this in passing (maybe not in passing? memory hazy...) when we spoke a while back - before March trip, that I started thinking of the privilege attached to it - as in, really getting my head around it from that angle as opposed to the singular perceptions on how it's more acceptable today to be or do x than it was decade(s) ago etc.
It's been very interesting thinking on this in the context of the lectures we've been doing on the construction of knowledge, culture and language - both units are talking about this in some form and it's fascinating.
Here's to truth.
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i really feel this post at the moment. i've had a few chances lately to speak teh truth, depsite it being hard, and a gearing myself up fo rthe next one :)
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