-
this mess is too beautiful to not enjoy it
if you keep pulling, then the rehearsed lustful cries
will soon be in order
professionally making their way inside of my body,
all the way up into my heart and soul.
I'll take the ripping of my flesh as a
compliance
with what I want.
I'm letting you do this,
and quite frankly enjoying it way more than predicted.
but that's okay
and it's just what I need
fuck ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
yeeaahh... so my parent's "graduation" present for me is paying my admissions deposit. I've got everything figured out. I mean, I'm just so excited that I'm getting the fuck out of Galesburg and off the the beach that I really don't give a shit about anything else that's not involved with getting there.
Three days of fucking high school left, ( Read more... ) -
haha, I can't believe what I'm saying.
I just don't know what to fucking do anymore.
My parents are so incompetant. Get into a good school, get into a good school- then when I actually DO get accepted to a good school, they turn around and tell me they can't pay for it at all. And you know, I can deal with the emotional turmoil that I'm presented with by having no support and being ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
stop knowing me so goddamn well.
stop reading my mind,
stop cueing my reactions,
stop seeing every fucking expression I make,
and matching it up with the thoughts in my head.
I can't take it.
I can't take you,
sitting all the way over there.
I can't handle looking at you,
feeling like I know what you're thinking about,
then reassuring myself that if this ( Read more... ) -
it's a joke, get it?
we're gonna try this,
but I'm not going to tell you that
I know it's not gonna work.
you know I'm leaving in August.
and the whole
"it'll be fun while it lasts"
is what's convinced me that this could be good
for now, but not forever.
I'm kidding myself, really.
I know this.
you don't.
you don't know that I'm still such a mess,
anymore at least.
or that every ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
time isn't really doing the job
that everyone told me it would.
and I told everyone
that it wouldn't.
it's funny, you know I don't even really
dedicate my thoughts to it as much as I used to,
but everytime you speak to me or
toss a glance my way
I'm trapped all over again,
and I'm hit with the unfortunate realization
that nothing's changed.
Four months.
and ( Read more... ) -
bites
another sad, sad story.
tales of once was,
is now once was not.
flashbacks
me up against the wall
you knowing exactly what you were doing
pulling at my hair
tearing at my skin
creating something that seemed
indefinitely sacred.
I never wanted to hear that
something with so much beauty
could be destroyed just as quickly
as it was proposed.
look what you've left ( Read more... ) -
damn right it's chicken nugget tuesday.
I wish summer would hurry up and get here. I have so many things to look forward to..three months away. Get me the fuck out of here. Then I'll give you something worth reading, aside from the depths of my pathetic once-was-love-life and bitchy attitude towards my surroundings. This pit of deep, dark depression- although hidden inside of me- ( Read more... ) -
"I am the watch you always wear, but you forget to wind"
I haven't written in this this for a couple of weeks. I haven't really been busy, (well not anymore than I always am), I guess I've just been studying a lot, which is a good thing I suppose. I guess things are going pretty okay (as okay as they're ever going to get), the days keep passing by and May 24th is only three months away. I can't ( Read more... ) -
"every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore"
(This isn't the way I would of done things.
but I've admitted to lost control.
come on, self.
wrap your mind around it.
this is the way things are,
even though they shouldn't be.
bad enough
I feel like a horrible person
for still
feeling like this,
still thinking about this,
but even worse that I can't help it.
I don't wanna feel
this way forever
it's gotta come ( Read more... )