The Egg of the Hsip, the Holy Bird of Dinglehopper
Title - The Egg of the Hsip, the Holy Bird of Dinglehopper (1/1)
Author - earlgreytea68
Rating - Teen
Characters - Ten, Rose, OCs
Spoilers - None
Disclaimer - I don't own them and I don't make money off of them, but I don't like to dwell on that, so let's move on. (Except for the kids. They're all mine.)
Summary - Fortuna takes a shopping trip.
Author's Notes - Back from Vegas! Where I, sadly, did not win enough not to come back for my job. Heavy sigh. BUT I got to see the sun! A lot! So that was exciting! And I come back bearing fic!
For twenty bucks during the last Support Stacie auction, you won a fic all your own. This is
ginamak's. She wanted the fic where Fortuna had an adventure and got the guy.
Thank you to jlrpuck, a peerless beta. And thank you to Kristin, who questioned my choice of the name "Dinglehopper." Snob.
Fortuna Tyler was bored. All of space and time at her disposal and yet, at that very moment, she was bored. Here they were on another planet, and Mum and Dad were having the same good-natured discussion about the errands that ought to be run and the sights that ought to be seen and whether they should be responsible prior or subsequent to being irresponsible, and Fortuna had watched Dad wheedle Mum into being irresponsible so many times that, in the midst of the negotiation, she finally just inserted, “Can I just go shopping and meet up with you later?”
This stopped the conversation dead. Both parents stared at her.
“Just for a bit,” she said. “I just want to…get some gifts out of the way.”
“Sure,” her mother finally responded. “Absolutely.” She glanced at Dad. “Should we meet up for lunch in a couple of hours?”
Dad glanced around him. They were in the middle of a little square, dotted with restaurants. “Yes. Right here, right this spot, two hours.”
Fortuna nodded. “Right. See you then!” She waved good-bye cheerfully, walking confidently toward the very Earth-y shopping center looming to the right. Extremely Earth-y, except for the fact that it was advertising fhuh;puhoheuuhvubulbiubiububwubv;ubbiubluhiulblubilubidiuluhilwo;pqoiwdjiooo, which was a delicacy on this planet.
Fortuna walked through the doors, into a vast atrium filled with the extremely fragrant, pale trees common on the planet. It was the reason they were there, theoretically: the bark off the trees was apparently useful for wrapping wires. Fortuna looked around her, at the expanse of storefronts, and tried to determine which one she wanted to go to. Truthfully, she had no gifts to buy. Truthfully, she’d just wanted a little time to herself. It was ironic, because she should have been swamped with time to herself, and she certainly felt the fact that she was the only child left at home keenly, missed Brem and Athena desperately. But, at the same time, she had never felt more smothered by her parents. She knew she had wonderful parents who just loved her a great deal and wanted nothing more than her happiness. It was still a huge relief to be without them, to no longer be the singular unerring target of their focus.
Thoughtfully, Fortuna wandered through a few stores, looking for anything that could possibly be a good gift. Might as well try to get some gifts out of the way, since that was ostensibly the reason for this outing. So it was that she happened to be between a row of kaleidoscopes and gyroscopes when she noticed the small knot of people trying hard not to make a fuss in the next aisle, by a display of large eggs. People who tried hard not to make a fuss normally were up to no good. Fortuna knew from experience. Her family spent a lot of their time trying hard not to make a fuss.
Fortuna frowned, watching as a boy with spiky dark hair slid a large egg inside the shiny blue coat he was wearing and glanced toward the front of the store, where the blue proprietor (why was blue such a popular skin color? She would have to ask Dad about that later) was busy chattering as he rang up a customer. The egg was comically ill-concealed, but still the Boy With Spiky Dark Hair turned and sauntered casually out of the store.
Fortuna sighed, because now, of course, she had no choice but to go after BWSDH and his entourage and have an adventure. Oh, darn.
Replacing the kaleidoscope she’d been holding, Fortuna followed the small knot of people, through the atrium and out of the shopping center, where they congregated by the small plaza of restaurants, trying to pretend that they weren’t having some sort of heated disagreement, when it was obvious they were. BWSDH’s coat was still bulging where he had the egg tucked into it.
“Oi,” said Fortuna, marching over to them. They instantly went silent, staring at her in obvious surprise. “What do you think you’re doing with that egg?” she demanded.
“What egg?” asked BWSDH, eyes wide.
“The one in your coat.”
BWSDH looked down at the bump under his coat. “Oh, this…” he said, slowly.
“You need to go bring it back,” Fortuna announced. “Or pay for it. Either way.”
“We can’t,” said BWSDH, belligerently.
“Why not?”
“Because we need it. And, anyway, who’s going to stop us? You?”
“Oh, dear,” sighed Fortuna. “An over-confident man. So predictable.” Fortuna stomped hard and suddenly onto BWSDH’s foot. Startled, he dropped the egg. Smoothly, Fortuna caught it. “Thank you,” she said, primly, turning to walk back into the shopping center. BWSDH’s gang around her looked slack-jawed at the speed at which the turnaround had happened. Dad was right, she thought. If you thought quickly enough, you didn’t even have to come up with something brilliant to do, as long as you just did whatever you’d come up with without any hesitation.
“Wait, wait, wait.” BWSDH came running up to her.
“Touch me and you’ll regret it,” Fortuna warned him, mildly, which was enough to make BWSDH put his hands up harmlessly in the air.
“We really do need the egg.”
“For what?”
“Because it belongs to the Hsip.”
“What’s the Hsip?”
“It’s a-” There was a vague commotion off behind them. Fortuna saw BWSDH’s eyes flicker toward it. “Please,” he begged.
Fortuna glanced over her shoulder, where what looked like several members of the police force were heading in their direction. More police than should have been interested in just a simple case of shoplifting. Fortuna thought for a second, and then made up her mind. She looked at BWSDH. “I think we’d better run.”
***
Fortuna followed the group to an opening to what was clearly a sewer, and she leaped into it after them without a second thought. After all, she’d practically taken her first steps while running through sewers. This sewer was quite large and quite dim and surprisingly dry. Fortuna had never been in such a dry sewer.
They took several different forks, Fortuna following BWSDH and his entourage and then they entered a larger space that was crowded with furniture and lit with torches.
Fortuna looked around her with interest. “Are you lot living here?”
“Sort of,” answered BWSDH.
Fortuna looked around at the rest of them. There were six others, and they all regarded her sullenly.
“Doesn’t anybody else speak?” she asked.
“Where’s the egg?” asked BWSDH, sounding alarmed.
“Oh.” She retrieved it from her pocket and handed it over. “Here you go. Why’s it so important?”
BWSDH looked startled. “How did that fit in there?”
“Magic,” replied Fortuna, and wiggled her fingers at him. “So tell me why that egg there is important enough that you had eleven police officers chasing us for it.”
“Did you count eleven? I didn’t count eleven.”
“Then you counted incorrectly. Tell me what it is,” she insisted, following BWSDH to the far end of the space, where there was a complicated machine set up that looked as if her father could have built it, positioned directly under another sewer cover.
“Don’t tell her anything,” said one of the other boys. “How do you know we can trust her?”
“Ah, so you do speak,” remarked Fortuna.
The boy frowned, not looking amused.
“Look.” Fortuna turned back to BWSDH. “I could have taken the egg right back into the shopping center, but I didn’t. Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”
There was a bit of grumbling from the rest of the entourage. Fortuna could tell the general consensus was that they didn’t owe her anything.
Fortuna ignored them, looking around the room, and then asked the question that had been niggling at her. “Why’s the sewer so dry?”
This silenced all the grumbling. Everyone stared at her.
“You don’t know?” said BWSDH.
“What?” she said. “I’m just visiting.”
“That’s what we’re trying to fix,” BWSDH told her, earnestly. “The police are trapping the rain.”
Fortuna wrinkled her nose. “Trapping the rain? How are they doing that?”
“Rain doesn’t occur naturally on this planet. It has to be created. They’re not creating it.”
“Why not?”
“Because the royal family possesses all other sources of water, and they can charge us a lot of money to get access to it.”
It all became clear. “Ah.”
BWSDH held up the egg. “This egg,” he said, reverently, “is an egg of the Hsip.”
Fortuna stared at him. “You’ve said that. What’s the Hsip?”
BSWDH looked annoyed at her stupidity. His entourage grumbled a bit. “The Hsip is the Holy Bird of Dinglehopper.”
“Of Dinglehopper?” echoed Fortuna.
“The Hsip only lays one egg over 72 meeps. The egg is ionically charged. If launched into the air, it will unlock the rain.”
Fortuna thought. “That doesn’t make sense. An egg is going to make it rain?” She was beginning to suspect they were mad.
“Yes,” answered BWSDH, sounding exasperated. His entourage grumbled a bit more. “Everyone knows that.”
Fortuna regarded him, unsure how to react. “Why would the precious egg of the Hsip, Holy Bird of Dinglehopper, be in a store in a random shopping center?”
“Well, where would you hide a precious egg?” retorted BWSDH.
“In a place with, like, security,” replied Fortuna.
BWSDH scoffed, as did his entourage. Fortuna had never heard half a dozen people scoff in unison. “How obvious,” said BWSDH, and then moved away from her, clutching the egg.
Fortuna considered. There were two possibilities: these people were either all quite mad, or they were telling the truth. Either way, this was the most interesting thing to happen in ages.
BWSDH was busy inserting the egg into the contraption.
“So what’s that then?” she asked.
“It’s to launch the egg,” answered one of the entourage.
Fortuna thought she had never been subjected to so much steady condescension. Shrugging, she started to move toward the machine, but one of the entourage immediately leaped forward.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.
“To look at the machine,” she responded.
“You’re not going anywhere near the machine,” he growled.
Fortuna shrugged again. “Fine.” She sat on one of the chairs in the room.
BWDSH settled the egg snugly in the contraption and pushed open the sewer cap. “Friends,” he announced, grandly, making a ridiculous expansive gesture. “We all remember, how our parents would scrimp and save to afford enough water to drink, how we would go without food on special occasions to be able to get enough water for a bath. We have all grown up, in a world such as this. But today, friends. Today we bring rain to this world. Those who have never experienced water flowing in abundance over their skin will run out to dance happily in it, to follow flowing rivers of it. This, my friends, is what we will do today for this country, and our people.”
A solemn silence followed the conclusion of this speech. The entourage watched raptly as BWDSH turned and pressed a button. The silence continued, stretched. The egg stayed snugly in the contraption. Fortuna lifted her eyebrows and looked from BWDSH to the machine to the entourage back to the machine back to BWDSH. BWDSH was staring at the machine, in disappointed horror.
“So,” remarked Fortuna, standing up, “I think I can help.”
There were a few exclamations about this proposal, but BWDSH gestured for his entourage to hang back, as he frowned at his machine. “I don’t know why it’s not working.”
“Let me take a look,” said Fortuna, eyes running matter-of-factly over the gears of the machine. If there was one thing she’d learned from growing up on the TARDIS, it was how a machine ought to work. “Ah,” she concluded. “There’s your problem.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the sonic screwdriver she’d had for as long as she could remember. She used it far less often than Dad and Brem used theirs-Theenie said Dad and Brem were way too dependent on their sonic screwdrivers-but there was still nothing better when it came to machinery.
“What’s that?” asked BWDSH.
“Nothing,” she replied, casually, aiming and zapping. “What’s your name?” she said, to change the subject, zapping again.
His eyes were fastened on what she was doing. “Spike,” he answered, absently.
Fortuna looked at his spiky hair. “Are you serious?”
He looked at her then. “Yes,” he told her, defensively.
Fortuna turned back to the machine.
“What’s your name?” he asked, after a moment.
“Fortuna.”
There was another pause. “It’s pretty.”
“Thanks.” She straightened. “Okay. I bet it works now.”
Spike looked uncertain, but he still leaned over and pressed the button.
The machine shook violently, and then more violently, and then more violently, and then, suddenly, the egg went shooting out of the open sewer cover, with a loud thwop. There was utter stillness for a few seconds, before the skies opened up. Rain poured through the open sewer cover, soaking her and Spike through almost immediately where they were standing directly underneath it. The rest of the entourage came running over, whooping with joy. Their enthusiasm was infectious. Fortuna laughed in delight, pushing her dripping hair off her forehead and grinning at Spike, who grabbed her and danced her through the torrent of water gushing through the sewer cover and then tipped her face up and kissed her, a real, proper kiss, and Fortuna, tried to pretend it wasn’t a huge, enormous deal, to be really, properly kissed for the first time in the first rain Dinglehopper had seen in 72 meeps.
They wandered through the rainy day festivities, holding hands, until she had to meet her parents, and Spike promised to ring her, and Fortuna was only slightly late to the meeting point.
“Quite a rain, isn’t it?” remarked her father, greeting her.
Fortuna smiled and said, “Yeah.”