I cut my mouth.
1. You're a sometime writer. Write me a description of the pizza at Moon Pie, as it might appear in your first novel.
Stumbling into Moon Pie at 12:30 on a Saturday night, you are enveloped in the loving smells of flour and melted cheese. It is next to impossible to resist the siren call of pepperoni once it gets in your nose hairs, especially when your nose hairs are already happy from overimbibing. The smaller fellow takes your order, places a slice into the oven to warm, and opens a paper take-out bag with a loud flourish. He proceeds to stand and stare awkwardly as you sway slightly, trying to keep your balance. His older, rounder compatriot says something in Spanish that you don't quite catch. They both smile at you. When your pizza is ready, you pay and thank them both. You have it out of the bag and into your mouth as soon as you are out on the sidewalk. For, despite the fact that you live directly across the street and really could have waited ninety seconds, that slice of greasy goodness simply cannot be ignored. (I'm going to write my first novel in second person, just to see how many people will put up with it.)
2. What sparked your fascination/infatuation with Star Trek, or the sci-fi universe at large?
I've come to believe its genetic. My mom was going through baby clothes to give to my sister, and she found an ET tee that had been mine when I was small. So my parents must have seen some tendency emerging in me. Basically, though, I like the conceptual infinity of space. You can do anything out there and find some way to justify it. It's kind of the ultimate blank canvas, creatively speaking. Plus, it's nice to imagine that there is a future ahead of us. Sometimes it's easy to forget that.
3. In your opinion, what demarcates the boundary between the Lower East Side and the East Village?
Houston. I know a lot of people like to call the Alphabet the LES, but it's so totally not.
4. Describe a foodstuff that is quintessentially Ohioan.
Cincinnati-style chili. I don't know if you can get it all over the state, but it's the food I miss the most living up here. It's a very thin, beef-based concoction. It is flavored with, among other things, cocoa powder. And you eat it either over spaghetti (a 3-way is pasta, chili, cheese; a 4-way is pasta, chili, onions, cheese; a 5-way is pasta, chili, onions, beans, cheese) or on cheese Coneys (hotdog in a bun, chili, cheese (optional extras: mustard, ketchup, onions)).
5. What is your biggest literary pet peeve? What literary device, mistake, or other convention really boils your pudding?
This is a hard one because I can be kind of a snob. I really hate Ironic Capitalization--it is why I refuse to read anymore Zadie Smith. Also, autofiction. Most people aren't nearly as interesting as they wish they were.