Something interesting to read...
It's an interesting take on Peanuts (Charlie Brown and the crew).
What if Snoopy actually died?
It would be the single most shocking moment in comics history. I mean, it's not like when Superman died. Superman's job is to go out and get punched in the face, so it's not too surprising when he got beaten to death. It's on his resume: "1937 to 1992: Flew around and got punched. 1993: Died, got resurrected. Temporarily out of work. 1994: Went back to being punched."
But Snoopy. Snoopy lays around all day and eats dog food. If he died, there would be absolutely no logic behind it. And I thought I would bring a small synopsis of - what would happen to the characters in Peanuts if Snoopy died:
Charlie Brown: "Auuuuuuuuugh!" he cried in agony, pounding the floor. "I can't even keep my dog alive!" Charlie Brown took it harder than anyone; he stayed in his room for a month after Snoopy died. It occurred to us that Snoopy was the only thing Charlie Brown had in life. He grew emaciated; we pushed meals under the dog door in his room, but he refused to eat. He even lost interest in baseball.
But one day, a month later, he emerged, looking pale and unwashed. "I think I can go on," said Charlie bravely, got dressed, and walked out into the world again. Unfortunately, the first person he saw was Lucy, who pulled a football out from underneath him for the last time, and that was the last anyone ever saw of Charlie Brown alive.
Peppermint Patty: She took Charlie Brown's death harder than anyone; even though she was a rough 'n' tough tomboy, Patty had never had the guts to tell Charlie how much she loved him. And now it was too late. At the funeral, she choked back tears as she threw a baseball mitt on Charlie's bier. Later that night, she stole a gun out from under her father's bureau and went to the veterinary hospital screaming, "CHUCK! CHUUUUUCK! WHHHHYY???"
She got four doctors and a nurse before the police cut her down.
Lucy Van Pelt: Even though she supposed she was responsible for Charlie Brown's death in a way, she didn't really care. He was a loser; even after years of state-sponsored psychotherapy ("Advice: 5 cents") and Prozac-spiked lemonade, he still hadn't come to terms with his pitiful life. It was at that point that Lucy decided she would never wind up like Charlie Brown. Lucy grew up to be a talk show host, interviewing lesbians and transsexuals for a living. Her ratings were better than Oprah.
Sally Brown: One good thing came of Charlie's death; the teachers finally noticed that Sally was Learning Disabled and suffered from a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder. This was the reason she had been giving strange, unrelated reports in class for the past two years. Thanks to money provided by MetLife's coverage of Charlie Brown's death, the Brown parents were able to afford tutors.
Schroeder: He wrote a fifteen-minute classical fugue, entitled "Opus Loser", in memory of Charlie's death. It was so beautiful that his unsupportive parents finally decided to buy Schroeder a real piano instead of the plastic toy one he'd been playing on for years. It took him another six years before his feet could reach the pedals.
Pig Pen: Pig Pen was never able to forget Charlie Brown; scrub as he might, bits of black dirt from Charlie Brown's grave stayed embedded in his skin for the rest of his life.
Linus Van Pelt: "As I laid my blanket on Charlie Brown's casket," wrote Linus years later, "I realized I was saying goodbye to my childhood. Charlie Brown was something innocent, so open and easily hurt by all the world that eventually it killed him; I resolved never to become like him. When I laid my blanket, the symbol of all my childhood fears, in the grave with Charlie Brown, I was laying to rest all of the vulnerable days of my youth. In that day, I became a man."
Linus's autobiography, "The Death Of Charlie Brown," won him the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. It was his fourth. But Linus could never speak in public, because hearing the relentless "wah whuh wah wah whuh" of his voice only reminded him that he was no longer a child.
The Little Red-Haired Girl: She'd had a crush on that round-headed kid for years. She never told him. She died a virgin.
What if Snoopy actually died?
It would be the single most shocking moment in comics history. I mean, it's not like when Superman died. Superman's job is to go out and get punched in the face, so it's not too surprising when he got beaten to death. It's on his resume: "1937 to 1992: Flew around and got punched. 1993: Died, got resurrected. Temporarily out of work. 1994: Went back to being punched."
But Snoopy. Snoopy lays around all day and eats dog food. If he died, there would be absolutely no logic behind it. And I thought I would bring a small synopsis of - what would happen to the characters in Peanuts if Snoopy died:
Charlie Brown: "Auuuuuuuuugh!" he cried in agony, pounding the floor. "I can't even keep my dog alive!" Charlie Brown took it harder than anyone; he stayed in his room for a month after Snoopy died. It occurred to us that Snoopy was the only thing Charlie Brown had in life. He grew emaciated; we pushed meals under the dog door in his room, but he refused to eat. He even lost interest in baseball.
But one day, a month later, he emerged, looking pale and unwashed. "I think I can go on," said Charlie bravely, got dressed, and walked out into the world again. Unfortunately, the first person he saw was Lucy, who pulled a football out from underneath him for the last time, and that was the last anyone ever saw of Charlie Brown alive.
Peppermint Patty: She took Charlie Brown's death harder than anyone; even though she was a rough 'n' tough tomboy, Patty had never had the guts to tell Charlie how much she loved him. And now it was too late. At the funeral, she choked back tears as she threw a baseball mitt on Charlie's bier. Later that night, she stole a gun out from under her father's bureau and went to the veterinary hospital screaming, "CHUCK! CHUUUUUCK! WHHHHYY???"
She got four doctors and a nurse before the police cut her down.
Lucy Van Pelt: Even though she supposed she was responsible for Charlie Brown's death in a way, she didn't really care. He was a loser; even after years of state-sponsored psychotherapy ("Advice: 5 cents") and Prozac-spiked lemonade, he still hadn't come to terms with his pitiful life. It was at that point that Lucy decided she would never wind up like Charlie Brown. Lucy grew up to be a talk show host, interviewing lesbians and transsexuals for a living. Her ratings were better than Oprah.
Sally Brown: One good thing came of Charlie's death; the teachers finally noticed that Sally was Learning Disabled and suffered from a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder. This was the reason she had been giving strange, unrelated reports in class for the past two years. Thanks to money provided by MetLife's coverage of Charlie Brown's death, the Brown parents were able to afford tutors.
Schroeder: He wrote a fifteen-minute classical fugue, entitled "Opus Loser", in memory of Charlie's death. It was so beautiful that his unsupportive parents finally decided to buy Schroeder a real piano instead of the plastic toy one he'd been playing on for years. It took him another six years before his feet could reach the pedals.
Pig Pen: Pig Pen was never able to forget Charlie Brown; scrub as he might, bits of black dirt from Charlie Brown's grave stayed embedded in his skin for the rest of his life.
Linus Van Pelt: "As I laid my blanket on Charlie Brown's casket," wrote Linus years later, "I realized I was saying goodbye to my childhood. Charlie Brown was something innocent, so open and easily hurt by all the world that eventually it killed him; I resolved never to become like him. When I laid my blanket, the symbol of all my childhood fears, in the grave with Charlie Brown, I was laying to rest all of the vulnerable days of my youth. In that day, I became a man."
Linus's autobiography, "The Death Of Charlie Brown," won him the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. It was his fourth. But Linus could never speak in public, because hearing the relentless "wah whuh wah wah whuh" of his voice only reminded him that he was no longer a child.
The Little Red-Haired Girl: She'd had a crush on that round-headed kid for years. She never told him. She died a virgin.