I dunno....
Yes, it's about him.
T. So since I've been back from Michigan, I've seen him a few times. He doesn't come to the unit every second he gets like he was, nor on his way out the door/after office. He has been civil. I asked about his dad & his mom. They are back to the way things were before & his dad is in denial...about his own aging process. Then....I worked Friday, Sunday when he was in call this past weekend. Friday.....Friday. I had 2 pt one from another group & one w/his partner dr. Skop. I thought I could get the pt delivered before 2pm when dr skop had to leave. It didn't happen. I called T to ask if she'd given him report & he said yes. He was very short & I hadn't seen him on the unit all day. I kindly asked if he had a free moment to spare if he'd come meet the pt before time for delivery. He stuttered & told me he was busy & it was at the bottom of his list of things to do but if he could he would. I told him I understood. About 30 min later he came to meet the pt. 1-I felt like that was kinda for me. 2-He keeps proving himself a better man all the time. When he left room, I followed behind shortly. I didn't speak to him walking down the hall a few steps behind him. Then he says "I sang w/Ava at church again a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if you were there." He seemed almost ashamed to tell me. So I asked which Sunday, it was the one I worked before leaving town. That was that. We had our delivery & I saw him once or twice at the desk, nothing special. On Sunday when I came in I asked him which song he sang w/Ava...and he told me. He had a video recording someone sent him. I could hardly hear cuz it was so busy at the desk at beginning of the shift. He was not afraid to be sharing this with me & loud about it. Of course our hands touched when exchanging the phone...a few times. Throughout the day I had to bug him many times regarding my pt & ugly fetal strip. Shortly before he called a c/s on her.....I asked him if he could email me the recording (referring to home recording he said they did of the song.) He stuttered A LOT, asking which recording & stating he could probably email it, then said he could also just play it for me at work. I never got to really listen to the song. I know he's probably worried about getting in big trouble if he emails it or gets caught. I know he wants me to have it & to desire him & long for him & his music. When I was leaving he told me to have a good night even though we weren't near or talking. When he got off his shift this AM, he came out to desk but then never said goodbye. He's treading lightly but not THAT lightly. I feel confirmation that he likes me & he enjoys my attention. I love this man. I will continue to pray for strength. To walk away & respect him & his marriage. When I really just want to be his wife.