Blueprint: Chapter 1
Title: Blueprint (ongoing)
Author: novemberbaby86
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, angst
Summary: Love does not need a plan. But real life does. And when real life gets in the love of these two…
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or companies mentioned in this fic.
Author’s Note: I listened to Ronan Keating’s “The Long Goodbye” while writing this. Totally helped.
Prologue
Chapter 1: No one’s wrong, no one’s right.
It's been three days since the news of their breakup were splashed all over television and newspapers. And for the past three days, Inoue Mao has not stepped outside of her apartment, much less report to work. So far, she has ignored all twenty-six calls from her manager and thirty-three messages from friends. Her mother, who had come over to take care of her, has helped her dodged at least forty calls from the media. Meanwhile, she sits under the window in her living room, facing the kitchen. She stares at nothing in particular, though her mind is wandering off into her memories.
"Mao-chan! Come try this!" His voice is cheerful as he waves to her. He holds up a spatula smothered with tomato sauce.
The aroma makes her mouth water. Smiling, she walks over to him and licks the sauce. "Perfect," she declares.
"Great. Dinner's going to be ready in about ten minutes," he answers, putting an arm around her shoulders. "And speaking of dinner, when are you going to cook for me?"
"Do I even have to cook when my boyfriend's a genius chef?" she teases, pointing to the sauce she just tasted. Sometimes she wonders if her boyfriend should just quit being an idol and become a chef instead.
"The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach," he says. “Just one dish and I’ll be your husband.”
She chuckles sarcastically as she frees herself from his arm. "Ha. Husband. Not happening anytime soon."
She winces as her mother pulls the curtain of the window aside to allow some sunlight. “Mao-chan, you can’t just sit here forever,” she says as she pats her daughter’s head sympathetically. “Are you hungry? Shall I make you something to eat?”
She shakes her head, wordlessly.
“But dear, you’ve starved yourself for two days now. Don’t make me worry,” her mother says, sitting beside her. When Mao does not respond, she sighs. She puts her daughter’s head on her shoulder and pats her knee. “Before I met your father, there was a guy like Jun. I loved him very much and I thought I was going to marry him, but things just didn’t work out that way. I learned to let him go before it was too late.”
“But I don’t want to let Jun go,” Mao whispers, feeling her throat constrict. “I never meant to say those words. I never wanted to hurt him.” Tears stream down her face and they keep coming no matter how hard she tries to wipe them away.
Her mother wraps an arm around her. “But you did say them, dear. I know you didn’t intend to hurt him, but you did, and you’ve also hurt yourself.”
“He hurts more than I do,” she replies, rubbing her eyes like a child. “I can’t even take back what I said. I’m so pathetic, Okaasan. I…I can’t even…look at myself…in the mirror. I’m…too…ugly…”
“Don’t say that, dear.”
But she sobs even harder, crying like there’s no tomorrow. And for her, tomorrow means the absence of the man she really loves. “I…I…hurt…someone…who…loves me. He...loved….me…”
“He still loves you,” her mother says, forcing a smile. She’s about to cry herself, for she has never seen her own daughter break down in front of her like this. Not even when she faced her hardships during Hanadan.
He still loves you.
She knows he doesn’t.
~~
“Jun-kun, what happened to your finger?” Sakurai Sho asks, as he sees the youngest member of their group climb into their van. Ninomiya Kazunari, the gamer and prankster, sits in the back with his DS in hand with a frown, an indication of concentration. Leader Ohno Satoshi sits in his seat, adjacent to Nino, and stares out the window, displaying his usual spacey self. Bubbly Aiba Masaki is listening to music and giggling as he reads the messages on his phone. Only Sakurai Sho is paying attention to Jun and is astounded at the bandage wrapped around the ring finger.
Jun slides into the seat next to him and says, “Nothing serious. Washed some knives and accidentally cut myself.” But his face says otherwise.
Sho nods, even though he’s not entirely convinced. “Be careful next time.”
Jun wants to smile at him but finds that even smiling hurts. He swallows hard, thinking how pathetic he is for even letting someone who doesn’t love him control his emotions.
“Hey Sho-kun,” he says, just as the van begins to move.
“Yeah?”
“Doesn’t time heal all wounds?” People used to tell him that. Time heals everything. All the scrapes and bruises. Just wrap a bandage around them. Take it off when the time is right. Then you move on and forget that the pain ever happened.
Sho looks at Jun’s bandaged finger and thinks for a moment before he answers, “Not if the wound can be healed by the person who caused it.”
Jun swallows hard but says nothing. Sho pats his shoulder and decides not to offer any more of his theories. Just then, Jun’s cell phone rings, and he pulls it from his pocket. The caller id flashes Shunkerbell. He wants to press “reject call” but knows that if he does, he might not be forgiven. “Shun,” his voice is rusty, as if he hasn’t spoken in years.
“You have to go see her,” Shun says, getting straight to the point. It isn’t the time to exchange pleasantries. “She hasn’t eaten in two days. Her mother says she’s cried herself to sleep for the past few nights. When she wakes up, all she does is sit beneath the window and stares.” His anger rises as he continues, “That isn’t the Mao-chan we know. And it’s definitely not the one you love.”
“Ne, Jun-kun, what do you love most about me?” Mao asks, as she sits back in her seat while he drives. They are just minutes away from the beach they usually visit and she suddenly pops this question, though it’s been on her mind lately.
He steals a quick glance at her before returning his attention to the road. “Honestly, there are plenty of things I love about you.”
“Hmm?”
“But it’s probably your cheerfulness that leaves the deepest impression. It’s funny, actually, because I thought you were a very depressed looking girl when I first met you.”
“I’ve heard that already.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t tell you this. I love how you make others laugh even when you’re the one having a bad day.”
She smiles. “I want others around me to be happy.”
“That’s what I love about you,” he says, taking his hand off the wheel to touch her cheek.
“You have to fix her, Jun. I know she’s the one who hurt you this time, but you’ve got to be lying to yourself if you think you didn’t break her heart either,” Shun says in a voice that startles him. “If anything, her wound is deeper than yours.”
Jun closes his eyes as he unwinds the feelings of guilt that he’s been hiding underneath his pain. He’s been avoiding them as much as possible, but now that Shun’s words have finally sunk in, he knows he can no longer pretend that he’s not guilty.
“I wasn’t unfaithful,” Jun says.
“Yeah, I know you aren’t that type. But you shattered her sense of security just when she needed it the most,” Shun points out, exasperated. “Look, I’m not going to say anything more about that. Just go see her. You’re the only person she’ll listen to.”
“She won’t listen to me.”
“Yeah, she will. She still loves you.”
She still loves you.
He knows she doesn’t.
~~
Any more theories as to why they've broken up? I've dropped one hint. Or maybe two?
Well, this officially marks the end of my spring break. I hope I'll be able to update when school starts again. >__<
Author: novemberbaby86
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, angst
Summary: Love does not need a plan. But real life does. And when real life gets in the love of these two…
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or companies mentioned in this fic.
Author’s Note: I listened to Ronan Keating’s “The Long Goodbye” while writing this. Totally helped.
Prologue
Chapter 1: No one’s wrong, no one’s right.
It's been three days since the news of their breakup were splashed all over television and newspapers. And for the past three days, Inoue Mao has not stepped outside of her apartment, much less report to work. So far, she has ignored all twenty-six calls from her manager and thirty-three messages from friends. Her mother, who had come over to take care of her, has helped her dodged at least forty calls from the media. Meanwhile, she sits under the window in her living room, facing the kitchen. She stares at nothing in particular, though her mind is wandering off into her memories.
"Mao-chan! Come try this!" His voice is cheerful as he waves to her. He holds up a spatula smothered with tomato sauce.
The aroma makes her mouth water. Smiling, she walks over to him and licks the sauce. "Perfect," she declares.
"Great. Dinner's going to be ready in about ten minutes," he answers, putting an arm around her shoulders. "And speaking of dinner, when are you going to cook for me?"
"Do I even have to cook when my boyfriend's a genius chef?" she teases, pointing to the sauce she just tasted. Sometimes she wonders if her boyfriend should just quit being an idol and become a chef instead.
"The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach," he says. “Just one dish and I’ll be your husband.”
She chuckles sarcastically as she frees herself from his arm. "Ha. Husband. Not happening anytime soon."
She winces as her mother pulls the curtain of the window aside to allow some sunlight. “Mao-chan, you can’t just sit here forever,” she says as she pats her daughter’s head sympathetically. “Are you hungry? Shall I make you something to eat?”
She shakes her head, wordlessly.
“But dear, you’ve starved yourself for two days now. Don’t make me worry,” her mother says, sitting beside her. When Mao does not respond, she sighs. She puts her daughter’s head on her shoulder and pats her knee. “Before I met your father, there was a guy like Jun. I loved him very much and I thought I was going to marry him, but things just didn’t work out that way. I learned to let him go before it was too late.”
“But I don’t want to let Jun go,” Mao whispers, feeling her throat constrict. “I never meant to say those words. I never wanted to hurt him.” Tears stream down her face and they keep coming no matter how hard she tries to wipe them away.
Her mother wraps an arm around her. “But you did say them, dear. I know you didn’t intend to hurt him, but you did, and you’ve also hurt yourself.”
“He hurts more than I do,” she replies, rubbing her eyes like a child. “I can’t even take back what I said. I’m so pathetic, Okaasan. I…I can’t even…look at myself…in the mirror. I’m…too…ugly…”
“Don’t say that, dear.”
But she sobs even harder, crying like there’s no tomorrow. And for her, tomorrow means the absence of the man she really loves. “I…I…hurt…someone…who…loves me. He...loved….me…”
“He still loves you,” her mother says, forcing a smile. She’s about to cry herself, for she has never seen her own daughter break down in front of her like this. Not even when she faced her hardships during Hanadan.
He still loves you.
She knows he doesn’t.
~~
“Jun-kun, what happened to your finger?” Sakurai Sho asks, as he sees the youngest member of their group climb into their van. Ninomiya Kazunari, the gamer and prankster, sits in the back with his DS in hand with a frown, an indication of concentration. Leader Ohno Satoshi sits in his seat, adjacent to Nino, and stares out the window, displaying his usual spacey self. Bubbly Aiba Masaki is listening to music and giggling as he reads the messages on his phone. Only Sakurai Sho is paying attention to Jun and is astounded at the bandage wrapped around the ring finger.
Jun slides into the seat next to him and says, “Nothing serious. Washed some knives and accidentally cut myself.” But his face says otherwise.
Sho nods, even though he’s not entirely convinced. “Be careful next time.”
Jun wants to smile at him but finds that even smiling hurts. He swallows hard, thinking how pathetic he is for even letting someone who doesn’t love him control his emotions.
“Hey Sho-kun,” he says, just as the van begins to move.
“Yeah?”
“Doesn’t time heal all wounds?” People used to tell him that. Time heals everything. All the scrapes and bruises. Just wrap a bandage around them. Take it off when the time is right. Then you move on and forget that the pain ever happened.
Sho looks at Jun’s bandaged finger and thinks for a moment before he answers, “Not if the wound can be healed by the person who caused it.”
Jun swallows hard but says nothing. Sho pats his shoulder and decides not to offer any more of his theories. Just then, Jun’s cell phone rings, and he pulls it from his pocket. The caller id flashes Shunkerbell. He wants to press “reject call” but knows that if he does, he might not be forgiven. “Shun,” his voice is rusty, as if he hasn’t spoken in years.
“You have to go see her,” Shun says, getting straight to the point. It isn’t the time to exchange pleasantries. “She hasn’t eaten in two days. Her mother says she’s cried herself to sleep for the past few nights. When she wakes up, all she does is sit beneath the window and stares.” His anger rises as he continues, “That isn’t the Mao-chan we know. And it’s definitely not the one you love.”
“Ne, Jun-kun, what do you love most about me?” Mao asks, as she sits back in her seat while he drives. They are just minutes away from the beach they usually visit and she suddenly pops this question, though it’s been on her mind lately.
He steals a quick glance at her before returning his attention to the road. “Honestly, there are plenty of things I love about you.”
“Hmm?”
“But it’s probably your cheerfulness that leaves the deepest impression. It’s funny, actually, because I thought you were a very depressed looking girl when I first met you.”
“I’ve heard that already.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t tell you this. I love how you make others laugh even when you’re the one having a bad day.”
She smiles. “I want others around me to be happy.”
“That’s what I love about you,” he says, taking his hand off the wheel to touch her cheek.
“You have to fix her, Jun. I know she’s the one who hurt you this time, but you’ve got to be lying to yourself if you think you didn’t break her heart either,” Shun says in a voice that startles him. “If anything, her wound is deeper than yours.”
Jun closes his eyes as he unwinds the feelings of guilt that he’s been hiding underneath his pain. He’s been avoiding them as much as possible, but now that Shun’s words have finally sunk in, he knows he can no longer pretend that he’s not guilty.
“I wasn’t unfaithful,” Jun says.
“Yeah, I know you aren’t that type. But you shattered her sense of security just when she needed it the most,” Shun points out, exasperated. “Look, I’m not going to say anything more about that. Just go see her. You’re the only person she’ll listen to.”
“She won’t listen to me.”
“Yeah, she will. She still loves you.”
She still loves you.
He knows she doesn’t.
~~
Any more theories as to why they've broken up? I've dropped one hint. Or maybe two?
Well, this officially marks the end of my spring break. I hope I'll be able to update when school starts again. >__<