FIC: Father's Day
Summary: It's Father's Day for the Pond and Williams families. River takes her dad and grandfathers out to celebrate by giving them a normal, relaxing day. With a twist.
Series: Our Granddaughter Melody
Beginning Note: This story diverges from canon for Series 7, because River's grandparents -- and even other members of the family -- know and love her. It's canon compliant other than that.
It started on Mother’s Day. River had landed the Tardis in her parents’ yard in the middle of a gorgeous afternoon. She had come out and leaned in the door, announcing she was taking them on a trip. Brian, Rory, and Augustus had got up from their seats alongside Tabetha and Amy.
River had given the men a look. “Where do you lot think you’re going? Your trip is next month.”
And away the women had went.
But now it was the 21st of June, and the Ponds and WIlliams families got together again for Father's Day. Rory worked on the barbecue while Brian looked over his shoulder and told him what he was doing wrong. They had pretty much forgotten what River had said on Mother’s Day, until the blue box landed again in the yard. She flung out both doors and aimed a broad smile at the men. “Your turn!”
Augustus hesitated in his steps at his finally going onboard the time ship. He peered inside the doors, like Alice before going into the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Rory had last minute instructions for Amy until she had enough.
“Are you actually lecturing me on your stupid barbecue?” She told him where she was going to put it -- naming the exact body part -- if he didn’t go now and then shoved him towards the Tardis.
He stepped past River. “Where’s the Doctor?”
“He’s still on Steygawa V where I left him on Mother’s Day. It’s only been a couple of minutes for me. I’m coming from right after I left you, so I can spend as much time as possible celebrating with the family before I have to go back. I only waited long enough to change my outfit before I set the coordinates for here.” She gave hello kisses to them all, the skirt of her sundress swaying around her, and not caring that she had just kissed them goodbye from her point of view.
Amy ran into the house to get her daughter diary to make note of River coming directly back from leaving them a month ago, while Brian looked absolutely confused. “You stayed for five days then. The Doctor hasn’t noticed you’re gone?”
“No, because I’ll pick him up right after I left. I can be here for as long as I like.” She saw it didn’t help him at all. “It’s just time travel, Grandad.”
He let it go at that. “I guess if it makes sense to you, poppet, the rest of us don’t have to worry about it.” He followed Augustus inside.
River looked over to where Amy was writing in her diary. “I thought I’d stay longer, maybe a few weeks or a month, if that’s okay?”
Amy pulled her in for a fierce hug. “Of course it’s okay. Why else do you have a room? You're our daughter, it's your home. Now, get Rory out of here, because if he looks back at that barbecue one more time, I’m going to kill him.”
Augustus had stopped dead right inside the Tardis as he looked around the control room. He looked at his granddaughter wide eyed. “Don’t you get lost in all this?”
She threw her head back and laughed before taking the controls in hand. “We are seriously the best family ever. Now this won’t take long. I can give you a tour later if you want, Grand-dey. Not the full one. That can take a year.”
They landed only a couple minutes later. She escorted them to the doors, but suddenly turned, biting her lip. “I hope you like this. I wasn’t sure....” But she spun back around and let them go first.
They walked into what could only be described as a classically masculine study. Dark wood walls, adorned with paintings depicting adventure and ancestry, stood across from a set of large windows, with a full library on a right angle. Rory noticed one canvas had a tiny Tardis sitting atop a hill in the background.
A round table of a lighter coloured wood and five chairs around it sat in front of a desk. The setup had the same look as the room: solid, Old World male, a life that meant extended boundaries, and the presence of someone who was himself all of those things.
“Is this another planet?” Brian asked. “It looks a lot like home.”
“It is home,” River answered.
Rory turned to her. “Then why take the Tardis? Why didn’t we just drive here?”
“I meant it’s Earth and not too far from home. But it’s 2009 and the 22nd of June, the day after Father’s Day.”
Rory got more confused. “Why after Father’s Day?”
She didn’t get a chance to answer. The considerable door leading into the room opened and an older man walked in. His mustache and receding hair showed complete grey, his white skin was coloured by a life outdoors, and his bearing said soldier and leader even as he leaned a bit on a cane. They could tell at first glance that he was a man you would follow anywhere.
He saw River. “Ah! There you are! Someone can actually land the Tardis on time. That’s something I haven’t seen before you.”
She crossed the room and placed a peck on his cheek. “Thank you again for this.”
“Nonsense! I’ve been looking forward to it. Now then.” He went up to the other men. “It’s a real pleasure to meet all of you.”
He shook their hands as she introduced each of them. “My grandfather Brian Williams, my grandfather Augustus Pond, and my dad Rory Williams. This is Brigadier Alistair--”
“No need for all that,” he said. “Call me Alistair. Well, now. Please have a seat. No big fanfare today. Just war stories, a lot of other talk, and relaxing.”
Rory reached back behind his chair to where River hovered behind him. He held out his hand for hers. “Perfect.” Her grandfathers echoed the sentiment.
She let out a deep breath and relaxed over them stating this was enough for their special day. The Brigadier smiled at the sight.
“Yes, nice normal day,” he said. “That’s why the Doctor isn’t here. If he was, some trouble or other would be right behind. Genghis Khan would probably show up with a legion of Cybermen.”
Rory was surprised. “You know the Doctor?” Even with the Tardis in the one painting, he hadn’t expected their host to really understand the Time Lord as much as he obviously did.
“Dad,” River said, “he’s known the Doctor since his second regeneration.”
“Wonderful chap. All of them,” the Brigadier said like it was nothing. “Or at least the ones I know. The second, third, fourth -- briefly met the first and fifth -- and then ran across the seventh in the middle of battling Morgaine. Saw the tenth for a bit not too long ago. It’ll be part of our war stories if you don’t get tired of hearing me talk.”
Augustus verbally squirmed. “I don’t have stories about the Doctor. We thought he was imaginary and then he showed up at Amelia’s wedding. That’s the end of it.”
Alistair leaned forward towards him. “Now that is a story I want to hear.”
But Augustus shifted in his seat, saying without words that he wanted to stay clear of it, not that Alistair could know it was because of the problems from not believing Amy.
River rescued him. “You have something else in common, Grand-dey.”
He turned back to the Brigadier to explain the term. “It’s Scottish for grandfather.”
He got a happy surprise when the other man picked up on it right away. “It’s specifically from Fife, isn’t that right?”
“It is! Now how did you know that?”
The Brigadier sat back and pointed to a portrait over his shoulder. A man with a strong air about him stood in full kilt with rolling farmland behind him. “That’s my grandfather.“
“Well!” Augustus perked up. “My own grandfather came from there. I can swap stories then!”
“I have to say, I was born here,” the soldier answered, “as you already know from the accent. But I had the pleasure of going back to the family’s roots, and plenty of stories from my father and grandfather. How about you, sir?” he asked Brian.
“I’m not Scottish. Oh, I see! A Doctor story, do you mean? Let me think.” He came up with something. “I suppose I could talk about the time I rode a dinosaur. I also hit a pterodactyl with a trowel before it could get Rory. Then we flew a ship because we’re the same gene sort of thing.”
“Good man! There’s another story we need to hear.”
River had been busy around them. She put out a box of fine cigars along with ashtrays at each place. She then brought substantial glass tumblers, a bottle of brandy, and for the last touch, a deck of cards.
Brian looked around with satisfaction. “We couldn’t be more of a cliche if we tried. Excellent.”
The Brigadier picked up a cigar and savoured its scent. “No more than my study. It’s why cliches exist.” He held up the cigar and addressed the next part to River. “This is top quality. I’m sure he’s going to be happy with them.”
August noticed the chair on Rory’s right. “Is someone else coming?”
River spoke. “I have to go get him. I’ll be right back,” she promised her father and placed a kiss on his head before ducking into the Tardis. As the ship disappeared, Alistair leaned over the empty seat to Rory.
“That’s a helluva girl you got there. You should be very proud. I bet she has the Doctor in a spin.”
Rory’s chest swelled, chuffed about the Brigadier’s praise over River. “I am -- proud, I mean -- and she does.”
“I hope I see it someday. I have one a lot like her. God help us if they ever meet. They’ll probably take over the planet. River very nicely made sure we had the day together before this meeting here.”
Her father and grandfathers now understood why she had brought them on the 22nd. So he could have Father’s Day with his daughter. They guessed being here in 2009 just suited him best.
The Tardis was back already and River once more opened the doors, letting her passenger move past her so he was first in the room. Every man shot to his feet at the sight of the latest guest. River began to introduce him, but he didn’t need it. They knew Winston Churchill when they saw him.
The Brigadier snapped into a soldier’s ramrod stance. He showed he didn’t always need the cane by crossing his study, and dared, in his opinion, to hold out his hand to the other. “Sir! What an honour! I never had the chance to serve with you. I wish I had.”
Churchill took his hand and shook it. “River’s shown me your record. You’ve done the country proud, Brigadier. Now, everyone, sit. It’s not that kind of occasion. The Doctor’s not here? Probably for the best. Like to see him, but who knows what trouble would be on his heels.”
He suddenly looked back at River who still stood by the Tardis. He took in her floral sundress with sandals. “Heels...”
She raised her eyebrows. “Sorry?”
“Nothing,” he dragged out and then shook it off. “Thought I remembered something. It’s gone now.”
Brian couldn’t stop staring. “Winston Churchill...”
“Yes, yes, but never mind all that.” The Prime Minister had taken a cigar from the box. “These are excellent. Good to meet you too,” he said to Brian before moving his gaze to Augustus. “I met your daughter, Mr. Pond. Can’t say enough good about her. Lively and brave. I was very impressed with her. Still am.”
“Uh,” was the most Augustus could manage. Winston Churchill had called him ‘Mr. Pond’. “Yes... she’s... her mother and I -- we’re very happy with Amelia.”
“You should be. Mind if I call you Augustus?”
“What? Oh, yes -- of course. I meant to say -- Augustus is fine.”
“Good! Now that the four of us are old friends, it only leaves this brave man here.” He turned to Rory. “So you’re the fearless one that married his Amy. Then made this one here.” He nodded at River. She was pouring the brandy, but shot a dark look at him, totally unfazed by a prominent historical figure in the flesh, even if she didn’t already know him, which she clearly did.
“I’m not built from a kit.”
Churchill dipped the end of his cigar in the brandy and chomped down on it. “Imagine if you were. You and your mother. I could have put the Nazis down in a day. So! Rory, is it?”
“Yeah.” He had met plenty of important people himself, but still, he took a second to settle down with the whole idea. “Amy told me about you.”
“Did she?! Do I want you to repeat it?”
The Brigadier picked up the cards and tapped them against the table. “Shall we start? Cards, brandy, cigars, and good talk. It’s the promise of a superior day. What’s the stakes then?”
River spoke up from where she leaned against the Tardis. “Winner gets to pick a trip anywhere and anywhen. His choice.”
“Now that’s something to play for!” Alistair exclaimed and began dealing the cards. “We’ll need chips to keep track of who's winning. Five card draw good with everyone?”
They all agreed and then Churchill said to River, “If I win, I’ll take the Doctor’s Tardis key.”
“Or not,” she answered calmly. “And don’t try that ‘take it by force’ nonsense. I’ll sic my mother on you.”
“Terrifying!” He chuckled. “So, where to begin?”
River stood and leaned against Rory’s chair. She had an arm loosely around his shoulders and managed to have the same air as the study: both comfortable and something that spoke of the old way of things, as if Rory sat in discussion with leading families over how to govern their territories, and needed his firstborn at his side. Just as he sat on his father’s right. “Grand-dey went into the Tardis for the first time today. He asked if I ever got lost.”
The Brigadier pointed over at her. “Excellent point to start with. Anyone here give the old ‘bigger on the inside’ comment?”
Rory moved the order of the cards in his hand. “I didn’t. I told him I knew it was a different dimension.”
Alistair laughed. “I told him I thought he misused UNIT funds to build the silly thing.”
River interrupted. “She doesn’t like being called a thing. Or an it.”
“Right,” Churchill said. “If I had a key, I would know these things on my own.”
She grinned and pulled her small computer from some hidden pocket of her sundress. “It’s still not going to happen. And I have Amy on speed dial.”
“Fine then. Actually not fine, but you’re not going to listen anymore than he does.”
Alistair said, “Apparently not. Everyone have their war story ready? Rory? We haven’t heard from you.”
“I’m thinking about what I should say. I’m not sure what you’d like to hear.”
But River did. “He punched Hitler.” She couldn’t sound more proud, of him and about being his daughter.
The Brigadier nearly dropped his cards, and Churchill’s cigar went slack. He turned in his chair so he faced Rory. “You punched Adolf Hitler?”
River smiled down at her father in delight. “Knocked him flat.”
“Well, yeah,” Rory at last answered. “I mean, he deserved it. In general and because he shot River.”
She beamed at all the men around the table. “I told you, we are seriously the best family ever. Present company excepted, of course.”
Churchill didn’t bother with that. He took the cigar from his mouth and pointed at Rory with it. “And you didn’t lead off with that? You should. From now on, introduce yourself with, ‘I’m Rory Williams. I clobbered Adolf Hitler.’ Put it on a business card and give it out to people.”
Alistair picked up his poker hand. “It must be a family trait. Brian had to think before remembering fighting off dinosaurs. Humility, thy name is Williams,” he said with respect.
The Prime Minister licked his lips. “Did you just say dinosaurs? I obviously missed a few things. What about you, Augustus?”
The Brigadier answered for him. “He thought the Doctor was imaginary. He’s probably the smartest man in this room. Who’s to say the Doctor’s real?”
River smirked. “Want me to answer that?”
“No, we do not,” Churchill reprimanded her. “Your father doesn’t need to see you being a saucepot, especially on Father’s Day. You must give him enough sleepless nights with all the trouble you get into, you don’t need to deprive him of any more.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners and her mouth pulled up at the suggestion. She glanced down at Rory. “Do I make you lose sleep?”
She might as well asked if he breathed air. “Of course you do. I’ve worried about you since I was eight. I worry even more since you’re my daughter.”
Her earlier playfulness drained from her face. “I didn’t expect you to say yes. We talked about this already, Dad --- I always bounce back, you know that. I don’t want you losing sleep over me.”
“I’m never, ever, going to stop,” he immediately answered and then caught how really concerned she was. He moved closer and his voice softened into a parent’s mantle of strength of I’ve got you. It didn’t matter she was grown. He was Rory and she was his. She and Amy: his world in two women, the ones he had been the Centurion for, the ones for whom he’d always allow the Roman out from behind his door. “Hey, you got to know. It doesn’t matter when I knew you were my daughter. When you were a baby, when I found out Mels was you, when I found out on Demon’s Run... You could change the way you live -- I’d feel better if you lived safer -- but I’m your dad. You could work a toll booth on a road with no traffic, and I’d still worry someone would hit it with their car.”
Brian watched Rory looking up at River. “It’s what we do, poppet. If you’re good at it. Rory came out jaundiced when he was born and I haven’t slept since.”
His son’s mouth fell open and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He had never expected that.
Augustus, meanwhile, smiled over the memory of a little one with a head of silken, ginger locks. “Amelia sneezed less than an hour after she was born. I thought something was wrong with her lungs -- I started pulling my hair out right then. It’s no wonder I don’t have any left.”
Rory gave River his last word on it. “It’s my job, Melody. I like it.”
She bit the corner of her bottom lip. She’d throw herself in harm’s way without a second thought, but his losing sleep over it bothered her and that was that.
The Brigadier warmly enjoyed her own worry about her dad. “Seems we’re at an impasse there. Should we go forward to our game?”
River shook off the tension and hugged Rory with the arm still around his shoulders. “I’ll leave you to it. But I’ll pop back in.”
“Don’t go too far. Like don’t leave in the Tardis or anything.”
She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. “I won’t, Dad.”
Brian gazed around at his fellow fathers. “Speaking of dads, why don’t we share stories about the children? I’ll start with Rory.”
His son’s head dropped to his chest in exasperation, and then, in the next second, remembered his daughter shared in the same moments of his childhood. He cut off River as she was about to say something. “Parental rule,” he reminded her. “You’re not allowed to tell anything you know from then.”
Her grin promised reigned in deviltry.
The Brigadier called out as she opened the door to go. “Trouble follows you as much as the Doctor. Don’t you bring Genghis Khan to the house either. I just had the garden done.”
She wiggled her fingers in a cheeky wave and disappeared out the door. He waited for it to close and got the game started. “Right then, stories about the Doctor, about Scotland and its fine people, followed by how we ever got our remarkable women to marry us, let alone choosing us to be fathers to their children.” He raised his glass. “Gentlemen, here’s to all of you.”
They repeated the toast and fell to their cards.
River reappeared now and then, and it wasn’t until later that her family wondered what she was doing to keep busy. She went into the Tardis a couple of times, leaving the doors open, and they heard her moving around and talking to the ship. Churchill remarked that it was no wonder his phone call had been forwarded to River.
She brought them something to eat, so the brandy didn’t sit on their empty stomachs, and watched a few rounds of their card game. She stunned all of them when she blushed a fiery red over a story Rory told from her last regeneration.
She hissed, “You said no stories from back then.”
“I said you couldn’t tell them, because I’m your dad. That means I can still tell the ones about you.”
She lost that argument, but not because it was the five of them against her. She just couldn’t stand to see Augustus upset, and when she started a really good scorching reply to Rory’s “Dad’s prerogative” speech, her Grand-dey’s eyes looked hurt and she surrendered.
She didn’t harbour a grudge, or at least didn’t show that she did, and reached in the next time it was Rory’s turn to bet, playing the hand for him. As he gathered in the large pot of chips when he won, the Brigadier glowered at River.
“Are you memorizing the cards?”
She grinned shamelessly. “And calculating the odds on which ones he’d get as well. It’s Father’s Day.”
Alistair tapped a finger on the table. “I’m going to repeat what I said, Rory. You have a helluva girl there. Wait, sorry,” he said to River. “About calling you a girl. I didn’t mean it as an insult. You’re obviously not one.”
She shrugged. “No offense taken. The Tardis has been called the Old Girl for centuries, so you’re putting me in good company.”
She moved between her grandfathers and got them each a win before she headed for the door again. They finally asked her why she kept leaving the room and she blinked in surprise before she said to Rory, “So you can spend time with Granddad on Father’s Day.”
Oh.
He asked her to stay anyway and Brian took this as an opportunity to bring up a time he had with her. “Did you know we took a trip earlier this year? We went on an actual archaeology dig.” He asked for two cards and laid down the ones he didn’t want. “I was right there next to her and I found a little girl’s toy. Imagine that. Here’s this girl from hundreds -- thousands -- of years ago and no one remembers she even existed. Then I find her toy and a part of her is alive again. Lots of children are going to see that display, they’re going to see she lived and that will make her real to them. And I was part of that. Me and River, our names are there side by side on the museum card. Amazing.”
Augustus fidgeted with his glass instead of looking directly at River. “You said you’d take me somewhere.”
She smiled warmly. “I’d love to, Grand-dey.”
“Maybe -- maybe back to Inverness. See the old house and catch up with the old mates.”
“If you don’t mind some advice,” said Brian. “Pick something you can’t do regularly. You and Tabetha should go back and see Inverness, but let River take you someplace you can’t go any other way.”
Augustus thanked him, but his eyes clearly said he wasn’t up for that yet. He was like Brian before the dinosaurs: wanting to stay around home. He had left Scotland for Leadworth only out of necessity.
She left a few minutes later and the men talked about their work along with other things. Rory told them about his nursing and remarked to Churchill that a male nurse must seem odd to him. The Prime Minister pointed out they knew an alien who changed his face instead of dying, and flew about in a time traveling police box.
“And your daughter is the female version. What’s you being a nurse next to that? Besides, if I cared about the gender of the person who nursed our boys on the battlefield, what kind of man would I be?”
“Hear, hear,” the Brigadier seconded. “If you don’t mind my asking, why are River’s genetics the way they are? Time Lord DNA when she’s not from Gallifrey, and she’s yours, Rory - how did that happen?”
Rory, Brian, and Augustus exchanged looks before the elder Williams somehow got elected to explain. He answered with the tone people use when they know the one who asked is going to be sorry they did. “It’s a sad thing, the one part. The people who kidnapped her -- they did surgeries while Amy was pregnant with her. Now the other part of it,” he said brightly to ease them away from that heartache, ”isn’t like that, but it’s a big secret for some reason. Rory won’t say.”
“Neither will Amelia.” Augustus squinted at his poker hand and mumbled about how useless it was. “I can’t think why they don’t -- does the light on top of the blue box always carry on like that? I didn’t notice it before.”
Rory hunched over his cards and practically sank behind them. “Ignore it.”
Winston looked from him to the Tardis and back again. He leaned over and whispered in the other’s ear. Rory’s careful lack of reaction answered his question more than words and Churchill laughed.
“Why can’t you tell them that? It’s not like they haven’t it done it themselves. The act, not the location. Where do you think you came from?”
“Leave it.” The Roman had obviously gotten comfortable with the historical Prime Minister to insist that.
The level of brandy in the bottle got lower and lower, and they went into a second one that Alistair brought out. Churchill went into a grand rendition of the song “We’ll meet Again” from his own time. The others joined in, even if they only knew the song from handed down albums. When River walked into the room about then, she didn’t bother holding back her smile. She waved a hand to clear some of the smoke from the cigars, some lit for the sake of gesturing about with them. Rory’s was one of them.
By this time, they called him Centurion, which River had naturally put out there, along with his excellent medical record. Brian was Slayer, shortened from Pterodactyl Slayer, Augustus was Chieftain, Alistair was Brig, and Churchill was Winnie for a few minutes until he threatened to have them all shot. The fact that only his nanny was allowed to call him that brought up River calling the Doctor ‘Sweetie’. The unanimous vote agreed the endearment was a good thing.
By this time, a tipsy Rory kept saying, “Look at my girl! Nobody can say their daughter is better.”
Brian slapped a hand on the table. “She carries a trowel!” Like this was the height of her accomplishments. He ignored her saying that all archeologists had one in their kits. “A trowel, Rory!”
An equally woozy Augustus reminded his son-in-law that he was married to Amy, his and Tabetha’s daughter. Rory shut up as he imagined his wife and then brightened with a, “They’re equal!”
River grinned. "That saved you."
It led to a watery eyed Brian talking about his Ellie, his late wife and River's other grandmother. The Brigadier understood how he felt because he had lost his own wife not long ago. The men toasted, “To Ellie and Doris! Women amongst women!”
Alistair caught River standing in the room. “Present company excepted, of course.”
She hung around for several minutes and recorded the whole thing on video with her computer. The men followed that up with praising the women until Alistair lifted his glass with a loud, “Wives! By God, sir, wives!” like someone challenged him on it.
When the singing started again, River interrupted. “What do you say? Time to call an end to the game? We have a trip to take.” They all agreed this was a good idea. “Alright then, who’s the winner?”
They stared down at the pot in the center of the table. They had each shoved all their chips in a winner-take-all move a few hands ago and hadn’t bothered with them after that.
She chuckled. “All right, I’ll pick.”
She bundled them all into the Tardis and took them to a pub on Osmillon in the 43rd Century. The drinks there had no alcohol, despite tasting like they did, and the seven armed, dexterous natives could snatch wayward darts when the men’s now bad coordination totally missed the game board. Augustus kept looking around himself. He stepped about carefully, lifting one foot and then the other, testing the floor beneath him. He shut his eyes and opened them to see if anything had changed.
“I’m on another planet. Another planet. And these people-- Look at me, lass!” he cried out to River. “I’m an alien!”
She squeezed him in a bear hug that he gave back. “Yes, you are, Grand-dey. Welcome to the club.”
The Osmillons took an instant liking to them and led them to the cliffs right outside the bar. They watched a purple sun set behind a golden ocean, arm-in-seven-arms together. Their hosts gave loud trumpeting sounds through their snouts.
The Brigadier said, “If that’s the custom here, I think we should join in.”
“I’m warning you all,” said Churchill, “I am not going to be outdone, so bring your best bugling.”
They threw back their heads and trumpeted. River got that on video too.
She shooed them back into the ship and took off for the Vortex. She kept them whirling about there, because Rory offered to give his father-in-law the tour after all. The Tardis decided to have some fun with them, and started moving rooms and hallways around. They caught on after passing the same kitchen three times, and then they suddenly ended up befuddled back in the console room.
Sadly, the day had to end. River dropped the Brigadier off first and told the other men to wait for her. They parted with Alistair sorrowfully and he clasped their hands tightly. She walked with him into the house where his daughter Kate was waiting. He looked back and forth between the two of them.
He shook his head gently. “You have met each other. Life as we know it is done.”
His daughter told him not to worry about it and to get some sleep. She then gave River an earful over returning her father in this condition, reminding the other woman that she had said she wouldn’t.
River argued, "Kate, he’s fine --- why are you looking at me like that? What’s that paper?” Because Stewart kept looking from her to the report in her hands.
“We’re talking about building a scanner, so I can hopefully tell when the Doctor lands on Earth. We’re thinking we’ll try searching for artron energy spikes. When we get closer, maybe a device to check for two hearts in the chest. Think it will work? You could volunteer for the project.”
River rolled her eyes. “You want me to be a lab rat, so you can find the Doctor. No, Kate.”
“It makes up for you bringing my father home like this.”
“I told you, he’s fine. I made sure of it. This will last at most a half hour, and he had a good time. It was like they were soldiers in the trenches together."
“Soldiers in a trench perfectly describes the state of that study.”
“Send me the bill for the housekeepers.”
Stewart scoffed. “Where do I address it? Stormcage? I’d like to see the postman’s face when he gets hold of that.”
Churchill was next and his wife Clementine also yelled at River, who still thought they were overreacting. She made another promise, this one to make it all up to the Baroness the next time she dropped by.
Finally, she landed her family at home, two minutes after they had left, according to Tabetha’s watch.
They stumbled out with Augustus leading them in a rowdy “Scotland, The Brave" and the Williams men only joining in on the song’s chorus, because those were the only lyrics they knew.
Rory fell into Amy’s arms and she nearly dropped him because of his weight. “Our Melly, Amy. Our Melly!” and his eyes filled with tears.
Augustus choked up at this, took Tabetha’s hands, and held them to his heart. “I said Amelia was just as good. I did, Tabetha!”
“I should chuck you out of the yard,” she replied.
Rory wasn’t done. “We made her, Amy. Can you believe it?”
“Still not from a kit,” River insisted, but she said it softly.
Brian even sniffled, but for a different reason. "I have no one to hug." So his granddaughter hugged him.
Amy would have comforted him too, but she wrestled with Rory. "Get away from that barbecue! Your breath will set off a fireball, you idiot!"
He grinned and collapsed.
A lightbulb went on over Brian’s head. “Oh! I see it now. We were gone all day, but we got back here in only two minutes for them. That’s how you’re getting back to the Doctor.” He kissed that head of curls. “You’ve always been a bright girl, poppet. You get it from Amy.”
Tabetha started to yell at River, just as Kate Stewart and Clementine Churchill had done, and for the same reasons. Her granddaughter headed her off preemptively with the videos she had taken.
Amy watched them three times in a row. "We're getting copies of these, yeah?"
Tabetha watched side by side with her. "I'd send them back home to Scotland if the family could make sense of them. We can't explain Winston Churchill, let alone the furry, green things with all the arms."
River took back her computer. "I can remedy that. Grand-dey, how does 'Scotland, the Brave' go again?" She started recording and Tabetha complained.
“I didn’t mean inflict torture. Didn’t you get enough of this growing up?”
“Never,” River said with complete happiness.
Augustus burst out once more in loud, flat notes. He got all the way to, “Land o' the high endeavour, land o' the shining river!” in the second verse when he drifted off over his granddaughter’s other name being in his homeland’s proud song. He caught sight of his Tabetha watching him and rallied with, "Wives!"
Rory and Brian joined in, raising imaginary glasses. "By God, sir! Wives!"
"Okay," Amy told River, "that part almost made up for the song. But you can keep your place as my favorite daughter if you get him to do that 'our Melly' bit again on video."
Rory went back to the barbecue and Brian warned him off this time. “Why are you so nutty over it?”
Rory shrugged it off -- at first. “No big deal.” And then he blurted it out: “Because I was going to cook you dinner for Father’s Day, Dad.”
They both swayed a bit on their feet before Brian hugged him and then pulled back to tell him, “You let me tell every embarrassing story about you without trying to stop me. You didn’t even roll your eyes more than two or three times. That’s a great gift.”
“Amelia,” her dad called, “come over and sing with me?”
She nearly said no since it just didn’t appeal to her, but smiled lovingly at him instead. “My funny little dad,” she said to herself. The father she didn’t have for a whole timeline.
She bounded over to him. “What was that other song you used to sing?”
“‘The Thistle o’ Scotland.”
“You know I’ll never get out the Gaelic, but let's do this.”
They put an arm around each other. She took a selfie video of the two of them singing with huge grins. The worse he warbled, the worse she did too, and they laughed together over it. They bent over double as they imagined the reactions from the family back home.
She kissed him on the cheek. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”
He swelled up like a bantam rooster and kissed the knuckles of the hand he held.
“You know,” Tabetha commented, watching River’s videos again, “maybe we can send these. They understand about Melody, now that she sent those movies, whatever they were--”
“Terminator,” Amy inserted absently. She was busy looking over the movie she had just made. “The John Connor and Kyle scenes.”
“That’s it - which, by the way--” She rounded on her granddaughter. “-- traumatized your great-grandmother. You said you cut out the worst parts.”
River sighed. “Tell Nan I said I’m sorry. She’s lying anyway,” she said to Brian. “That woman couldn’t be traumatized by anything. She’s probably angry that I cut out the men’s nude bums.”
He snorted and River smiled innocently at Tabetha.
Augustus leaned over after a beat and whispered in Amy’s ear. At least, he thought he whispered; the whole group could hear him. “Amelia, you said the Scots had a spaceship?” She nodded. “I think -- I think I’m ready to see it.”
“Maybe you should wait until the drinking wears off. So you don’t regret it.”
His forehead scrunched as he thought about it. “I feel fine actually. I don’t know how, but there it is.”
“It’s the drinks on Osmillon,” River explained. “They clear up the alcohol in the human bloodstream. That’s why I took you there.” She smiled fondly at him. “I didn’t want you to be sick in the morning.”
“Good girl. So I’m not regretting the thing about the starship. You’ll go too?” he hastened to ask Amy.
She threw her arms around him and said of course she would. The last bit of hesitation flowed out of him. “We’ll get the kilts pressed. You still have yours from when we dressed up properly for the fete? You didn’t get rid of it?”
“Of course I didn’t. Mum, we’re going to Starship Scotland!”
Tabetha had paid attention the whole time, but she looked at her husband’s pleading gaze with an absolutely brilliant poker face. She slowly smiled to tease him. “Look at you thinking I wouldn’t go.”
“River!” Amy shouted.
Her daughter’s head shot up from where she talked with Brian. She caught the three Ponds staring at her and her expression turned to a rather Rory look. “What did I do?”
“Nothing yet, but you’re going to. You’re keeping the Tardis for awhile and taking us to Starship Scotland. Still have your kilt?”
Because they had taken Mels with them to the fete years ago, since, as a teenage Amy had said as she tossed a kilt to her, “You’re family and I’m not going to this thing by myself.” She had no idea back then how much it had meant to Melody. Even the getting a kilt in the face part. They had a family picture done there; she had the biggest smile.
River nodded over still having hers and that it would fit. Amy then told her to make a room for Augustus and Tabetha in the Tardis. “So they can spend the night before coming back and going to work or whatever.”
Tabetha clapped her hands. “We’ll get another family portrait done! We’ll put it next to the one from the fete. Rory, Brian, you’ll come along, won’t you? You’re family.”
But the Williams men told them to enjoy a day together. All the Ponds out where only River could take them.
Rory held out a hand to River. She went to his side immediately. “Great Father’s Day,” he told her and didn’t let go.
“I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too.”
They sat quiet for a moment listening to the family before she smiled at him. "I think Grandad wants his Father's Day barbecue after all."
A package arrived at each man’s doorstep with the address in River’s handwriting. It held a framed picture of them around the table, enjoying the talk of fathers on their special day. They hung them in spots of great honour on their walls. Augustus put his between the two family portraits of he and his girls in full Scottish regalia.
Notes: The Brigadier’s line, “Wonderful chap. All of them.” is a direct quote from The 20th Anniversary show: “The Five Doctors”. While I’m admitting that I stole dialogue, Rory’s line, “I’m never, ever, going to stop,” is from “Day of the Moon”.
They don’t say where the Ponds are from in Scotland, so I used Karen Gillan’s home of Inverness.
If you’d like to know the songs they sing:
Churchill’s “We’ll meet Again” (lyrics)
Augustus “Scotland the Brave” (lyrics)
Augustus “The Thistle o’ Scotland” (lyrics)
Imagine Amy’s “funny little dad” singing those. :)
Series: Our Granddaughter Melody
Beginning Note: This story diverges from canon for Series 7, because River's grandparents -- and even other members of the family -- know and love her. It's canon compliant other than that.
It started on Mother’s Day. River had landed the Tardis in her parents’ yard in the middle of a gorgeous afternoon. She had come out and leaned in the door, announcing she was taking them on a trip. Brian, Rory, and Augustus had got up from their seats alongside Tabetha and Amy.
River had given the men a look. “Where do you lot think you’re going? Your trip is next month.”
And away the women had went.
But now it was the 21st of June, and the Ponds and WIlliams families got together again for Father's Day. Rory worked on the barbecue while Brian looked over his shoulder and told him what he was doing wrong. They had pretty much forgotten what River had said on Mother’s Day, until the blue box landed again in the yard. She flung out both doors and aimed a broad smile at the men. “Your turn!”
Augustus hesitated in his steps at his finally going onboard the time ship. He peered inside the doors, like Alice before going into the rabbit hole to Wonderland. Rory had last minute instructions for Amy until she had enough.
“Are you actually lecturing me on your stupid barbecue?” She told him where she was going to put it -- naming the exact body part -- if he didn’t go now and then shoved him towards the Tardis.
He stepped past River. “Where’s the Doctor?”
“He’s still on Steygawa V where I left him on Mother’s Day. It’s only been a couple of minutes for me. I’m coming from right after I left you, so I can spend as much time as possible celebrating with the family before I have to go back. I only waited long enough to change my outfit before I set the coordinates for here.” She gave hello kisses to them all, the skirt of her sundress swaying around her, and not caring that she had just kissed them goodbye from her point of view.
Amy ran into the house to get her daughter diary to make note of River coming directly back from leaving them a month ago, while Brian looked absolutely confused. “You stayed for five days then. The Doctor hasn’t noticed you’re gone?”
“No, because I’ll pick him up right after I left. I can be here for as long as I like.” She saw it didn’t help him at all. “It’s just time travel, Grandad.”
He let it go at that. “I guess if it makes sense to you, poppet, the rest of us don’t have to worry about it.” He followed Augustus inside.
River looked over to where Amy was writing in her diary. “I thought I’d stay longer, maybe a few weeks or a month, if that’s okay?”
Amy pulled her in for a fierce hug. “Of course it’s okay. Why else do you have a room? You're our daughter, it's your home. Now, get Rory out of here, because if he looks back at that barbecue one more time, I’m going to kill him.”
Augustus had stopped dead right inside the Tardis as he looked around the control room. He looked at his granddaughter wide eyed. “Don’t you get lost in all this?”
She threw her head back and laughed before taking the controls in hand. “We are seriously the best family ever. Now this won’t take long. I can give you a tour later if you want, Grand-dey. Not the full one. That can take a year.”
They landed only a couple minutes later. She escorted them to the doors, but suddenly turned, biting her lip. “I hope you like this. I wasn’t sure....” But she spun back around and let them go first.
They walked into what could only be described as a classically masculine study. Dark wood walls, adorned with paintings depicting adventure and ancestry, stood across from a set of large windows, with a full library on a right angle. Rory noticed one canvas had a tiny Tardis sitting atop a hill in the background.
A round table of a lighter coloured wood and five chairs around it sat in front of a desk. The setup had the same look as the room: solid, Old World male, a life that meant extended boundaries, and the presence of someone who was himself all of those things.
“Is this another planet?” Brian asked. “It looks a lot like home.”
“It is home,” River answered.
Rory turned to her. “Then why take the Tardis? Why didn’t we just drive here?”
“I meant it’s Earth and not too far from home. But it’s 2009 and the 22nd of June, the day after Father’s Day.”
Rory got more confused. “Why after Father’s Day?”
She didn’t get a chance to answer. The considerable door leading into the room opened and an older man walked in. His mustache and receding hair showed complete grey, his white skin was coloured by a life outdoors, and his bearing said soldier and leader even as he leaned a bit on a cane. They could tell at first glance that he was a man you would follow anywhere.
He saw River. “Ah! There you are! Someone can actually land the Tardis on time. That’s something I haven’t seen before you.”
She crossed the room and placed a peck on his cheek. “Thank you again for this.”
“Nonsense! I’ve been looking forward to it. Now then.” He went up to the other men. “It’s a real pleasure to meet all of you.”
He shook their hands as she introduced each of them. “My grandfather Brian Williams, my grandfather Augustus Pond, and my dad Rory Williams. This is Brigadier Alistair--”
“No need for all that,” he said. “Call me Alistair. Well, now. Please have a seat. No big fanfare today. Just war stories, a lot of other talk, and relaxing.”
Rory reached back behind his chair to where River hovered behind him. He held out his hand for hers. “Perfect.” Her grandfathers echoed the sentiment.
She let out a deep breath and relaxed over them stating this was enough for their special day. The Brigadier smiled at the sight.
“Yes, nice normal day,” he said. “That’s why the Doctor isn’t here. If he was, some trouble or other would be right behind. Genghis Khan would probably show up with a legion of Cybermen.”
Rory was surprised. “You know the Doctor?” Even with the Tardis in the one painting, he hadn’t expected their host to really understand the Time Lord as much as he obviously did.
“Dad,” River said, “he’s known the Doctor since his second regeneration.”
“Wonderful chap. All of them,” the Brigadier said like it was nothing. “Or at least the ones I know. The second, third, fourth -- briefly met the first and fifth -- and then ran across the seventh in the middle of battling Morgaine. Saw the tenth for a bit not too long ago. It’ll be part of our war stories if you don’t get tired of hearing me talk.”
Augustus verbally squirmed. “I don’t have stories about the Doctor. We thought he was imaginary and then he showed up at Amelia’s wedding. That’s the end of it.”
Alistair leaned forward towards him. “Now that is a story I want to hear.”
But Augustus shifted in his seat, saying without words that he wanted to stay clear of it, not that Alistair could know it was because of the problems from not believing Amy.
River rescued him. “You have something else in common, Grand-dey.”
He turned back to the Brigadier to explain the term. “It’s Scottish for grandfather.”
He got a happy surprise when the other man picked up on it right away. “It’s specifically from Fife, isn’t that right?”
“It is! Now how did you know that?”
The Brigadier sat back and pointed to a portrait over his shoulder. A man with a strong air about him stood in full kilt with rolling farmland behind him. “That’s my grandfather.“
“Well!” Augustus perked up. “My own grandfather came from there. I can swap stories then!”
“I have to say, I was born here,” the soldier answered, “as you already know from the accent. But I had the pleasure of going back to the family’s roots, and plenty of stories from my father and grandfather. How about you, sir?” he asked Brian.
“I’m not Scottish. Oh, I see! A Doctor story, do you mean? Let me think.” He came up with something. “I suppose I could talk about the time I rode a dinosaur. I also hit a pterodactyl with a trowel before it could get Rory. Then we flew a ship because we’re the same gene sort of thing.”
“Good man! There’s another story we need to hear.”
River had been busy around them. She put out a box of fine cigars along with ashtrays at each place. She then brought substantial glass tumblers, a bottle of brandy, and for the last touch, a deck of cards.
Brian looked around with satisfaction. “We couldn’t be more of a cliche if we tried. Excellent.”
The Brigadier picked up a cigar and savoured its scent. “No more than my study. It’s why cliches exist.” He held up the cigar and addressed the next part to River. “This is top quality. I’m sure he’s going to be happy with them.”
August noticed the chair on Rory’s right. “Is someone else coming?”
River spoke. “I have to go get him. I’ll be right back,” she promised her father and placed a kiss on his head before ducking into the Tardis. As the ship disappeared, Alistair leaned over the empty seat to Rory.
“That’s a helluva girl you got there. You should be very proud. I bet she has the Doctor in a spin.”
Rory’s chest swelled, chuffed about the Brigadier’s praise over River. “I am -- proud, I mean -- and she does.”
“I hope I see it someday. I have one a lot like her. God help us if they ever meet. They’ll probably take over the planet. River very nicely made sure we had the day together before this meeting here.”
Her father and grandfathers now understood why she had brought them on the 22nd. So he could have Father’s Day with his daughter. They guessed being here in 2009 just suited him best.
The Tardis was back already and River once more opened the doors, letting her passenger move past her so he was first in the room. Every man shot to his feet at the sight of the latest guest. River began to introduce him, but he didn’t need it. They knew Winston Churchill when they saw him.
The Brigadier snapped into a soldier’s ramrod stance. He showed he didn’t always need the cane by crossing his study, and dared, in his opinion, to hold out his hand to the other. “Sir! What an honour! I never had the chance to serve with you. I wish I had.”
Churchill took his hand and shook it. “River’s shown me your record. You’ve done the country proud, Brigadier. Now, everyone, sit. It’s not that kind of occasion. The Doctor’s not here? Probably for the best. Like to see him, but who knows what trouble would be on his heels.”
He suddenly looked back at River who still stood by the Tardis. He took in her floral sundress with sandals. “Heels...”
She raised her eyebrows. “Sorry?”
“Nothing,” he dragged out and then shook it off. “Thought I remembered something. It’s gone now.”
Brian couldn’t stop staring. “Winston Churchill...”
“Yes, yes, but never mind all that.” The Prime Minister had taken a cigar from the box. “These are excellent. Good to meet you too,” he said to Brian before moving his gaze to Augustus. “I met your daughter, Mr. Pond. Can’t say enough good about her. Lively and brave. I was very impressed with her. Still am.”
“Uh,” was the most Augustus could manage. Winston Churchill had called him ‘Mr. Pond’. “Yes... she’s... her mother and I -- we’re very happy with Amelia.”
“You should be. Mind if I call you Augustus?”
“What? Oh, yes -- of course. I meant to say -- Augustus is fine.”
“Good! Now that the four of us are old friends, it only leaves this brave man here.” He turned to Rory. “So you’re the fearless one that married his Amy. Then made this one here.” He nodded at River. She was pouring the brandy, but shot a dark look at him, totally unfazed by a prominent historical figure in the flesh, even if she didn’t already know him, which she clearly did.
“I’m not built from a kit.”
Churchill dipped the end of his cigar in the brandy and chomped down on it. “Imagine if you were. You and your mother. I could have put the Nazis down in a day. So! Rory, is it?”
“Yeah.” He had met plenty of important people himself, but still, he took a second to settle down with the whole idea. “Amy told me about you.”
“Did she?! Do I want you to repeat it?”
The Brigadier picked up the cards and tapped them against the table. “Shall we start? Cards, brandy, cigars, and good talk. It’s the promise of a superior day. What’s the stakes then?”
River spoke up from where she leaned against the Tardis. “Winner gets to pick a trip anywhere and anywhen. His choice.”
“Now that’s something to play for!” Alistair exclaimed and began dealing the cards. “We’ll need chips to keep track of who's winning. Five card draw good with everyone?”
They all agreed and then Churchill said to River, “If I win, I’ll take the Doctor’s Tardis key.”
“Or not,” she answered calmly. “And don’t try that ‘take it by force’ nonsense. I’ll sic my mother on you.”
“Terrifying!” He chuckled. “So, where to begin?”
River stood and leaned against Rory’s chair. She had an arm loosely around his shoulders and managed to have the same air as the study: both comfortable and something that spoke of the old way of things, as if Rory sat in discussion with leading families over how to govern their territories, and needed his firstborn at his side. Just as he sat on his father’s right. “Grand-dey went into the Tardis for the first time today. He asked if I ever got lost.”
The Brigadier pointed over at her. “Excellent point to start with. Anyone here give the old ‘bigger on the inside’ comment?”
Rory moved the order of the cards in his hand. “I didn’t. I told him I knew it was a different dimension.”
Alistair laughed. “I told him I thought he misused UNIT funds to build the silly thing.”
River interrupted. “She doesn’t like being called a thing. Or an it.”
“Right,” Churchill said. “If I had a key, I would know these things on my own.”
She grinned and pulled her small computer from some hidden pocket of her sundress. “It’s still not going to happen. And I have Amy on speed dial.”
“Fine then. Actually not fine, but you’re not going to listen anymore than he does.”
Alistair said, “Apparently not. Everyone have their war story ready? Rory? We haven’t heard from you.”
“I’m thinking about what I should say. I’m not sure what you’d like to hear.”
But River did. “He punched Hitler.” She couldn’t sound more proud, of him and about being his daughter.
The Brigadier nearly dropped his cards, and Churchill’s cigar went slack. He turned in his chair so he faced Rory. “You punched Adolf Hitler?”
River smiled down at her father in delight. “Knocked him flat.”
“Well, yeah,” Rory at last answered. “I mean, he deserved it. In general and because he shot River.”
She beamed at all the men around the table. “I told you, we are seriously the best family ever. Present company excepted, of course.”
Churchill didn’t bother with that. He took the cigar from his mouth and pointed at Rory with it. “And you didn’t lead off with that? You should. From now on, introduce yourself with, ‘I’m Rory Williams. I clobbered Adolf Hitler.’ Put it on a business card and give it out to people.”
Alistair picked up his poker hand. “It must be a family trait. Brian had to think before remembering fighting off dinosaurs. Humility, thy name is Williams,” he said with respect.
The Prime Minister licked his lips. “Did you just say dinosaurs? I obviously missed a few things. What about you, Augustus?”
The Brigadier answered for him. “He thought the Doctor was imaginary. He’s probably the smartest man in this room. Who’s to say the Doctor’s real?”
River smirked. “Want me to answer that?”
“No, we do not,” Churchill reprimanded her. “Your father doesn’t need to see you being a saucepot, especially on Father’s Day. You must give him enough sleepless nights with all the trouble you get into, you don’t need to deprive him of any more.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners and her mouth pulled up at the suggestion. She glanced down at Rory. “Do I make you lose sleep?”
She might as well asked if he breathed air. “Of course you do. I’ve worried about you since I was eight. I worry even more since you’re my daughter.”
Her earlier playfulness drained from her face. “I didn’t expect you to say yes. We talked about this already, Dad --- I always bounce back, you know that. I don’t want you losing sleep over me.”
“I’m never, ever, going to stop,” he immediately answered and then caught how really concerned she was. He moved closer and his voice softened into a parent’s mantle of strength of I’ve got you. It didn’t matter she was grown. He was Rory and she was his. She and Amy: his world in two women, the ones he had been the Centurion for, the ones for whom he’d always allow the Roman out from behind his door. “Hey, you got to know. It doesn’t matter when I knew you were my daughter. When you were a baby, when I found out Mels was you, when I found out on Demon’s Run... You could change the way you live -- I’d feel better if you lived safer -- but I’m your dad. You could work a toll booth on a road with no traffic, and I’d still worry someone would hit it with their car.”
Brian watched Rory looking up at River. “It’s what we do, poppet. If you’re good at it. Rory came out jaundiced when he was born and I haven’t slept since.”
His son’s mouth fell open and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He had never expected that.
Augustus, meanwhile, smiled over the memory of a little one with a head of silken, ginger locks. “Amelia sneezed less than an hour after she was born. I thought something was wrong with her lungs -- I started pulling my hair out right then. It’s no wonder I don’t have any left.”
Rory gave River his last word on it. “It’s my job, Melody. I like it.”
She bit the corner of her bottom lip. She’d throw herself in harm’s way without a second thought, but his losing sleep over it bothered her and that was that.
The Brigadier warmly enjoyed her own worry about her dad. “Seems we’re at an impasse there. Should we go forward to our game?”
River shook off the tension and hugged Rory with the arm still around his shoulders. “I’ll leave you to it. But I’ll pop back in.”
“Don’t go too far. Like don’t leave in the Tardis or anything.”
She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. “I won’t, Dad.”
Brian gazed around at his fellow fathers. “Speaking of dads, why don’t we share stories about the children? I’ll start with Rory.”
His son’s head dropped to his chest in exasperation, and then, in the next second, remembered his daughter shared in the same moments of his childhood. He cut off River as she was about to say something. “Parental rule,” he reminded her. “You’re not allowed to tell anything you know from then.”
Her grin promised reigned in deviltry.
The Brigadier called out as she opened the door to go. “Trouble follows you as much as the Doctor. Don’t you bring Genghis Khan to the house either. I just had the garden done.”
She wiggled her fingers in a cheeky wave and disappeared out the door. He waited for it to close and got the game started. “Right then, stories about the Doctor, about Scotland and its fine people, followed by how we ever got our remarkable women to marry us, let alone choosing us to be fathers to their children.” He raised his glass. “Gentlemen, here’s to all of you.”
They repeated the toast and fell to their cards.
River reappeared now and then, and it wasn’t until later that her family wondered what she was doing to keep busy. She went into the Tardis a couple of times, leaving the doors open, and they heard her moving around and talking to the ship. Churchill remarked that it was no wonder his phone call had been forwarded to River.
She brought them something to eat, so the brandy didn’t sit on their empty stomachs, and watched a few rounds of their card game. She stunned all of them when she blushed a fiery red over a story Rory told from her last regeneration.
She hissed, “You said no stories from back then.”
“I said you couldn’t tell them, because I’m your dad. That means I can still tell the ones about you.”
She lost that argument, but not because it was the five of them against her. She just couldn’t stand to see Augustus upset, and when she started a really good scorching reply to Rory’s “Dad’s prerogative” speech, her Grand-dey’s eyes looked hurt and she surrendered.
She didn’t harbour a grudge, or at least didn’t show that she did, and reached in the next time it was Rory’s turn to bet, playing the hand for him. As he gathered in the large pot of chips when he won, the Brigadier glowered at River.
“Are you memorizing the cards?”
She grinned shamelessly. “And calculating the odds on which ones he’d get as well. It’s Father’s Day.”
Alistair tapped a finger on the table. “I’m going to repeat what I said, Rory. You have a helluva girl there. Wait, sorry,” he said to River. “About calling you a girl. I didn’t mean it as an insult. You’re obviously not one.”
She shrugged. “No offense taken. The Tardis has been called the Old Girl for centuries, so you’re putting me in good company.”
She moved between her grandfathers and got them each a win before she headed for the door again. They finally asked her why she kept leaving the room and she blinked in surprise before she said to Rory, “So you can spend time with Granddad on Father’s Day.”
Oh.
He asked her to stay anyway and Brian took this as an opportunity to bring up a time he had with her. “Did you know we took a trip earlier this year? We went on an actual archaeology dig.” He asked for two cards and laid down the ones he didn’t want. “I was right there next to her and I found a little girl’s toy. Imagine that. Here’s this girl from hundreds -- thousands -- of years ago and no one remembers she even existed. Then I find her toy and a part of her is alive again. Lots of children are going to see that display, they’re going to see she lived and that will make her real to them. And I was part of that. Me and River, our names are there side by side on the museum card. Amazing.”
Augustus fidgeted with his glass instead of looking directly at River. “You said you’d take me somewhere.”
She smiled warmly. “I’d love to, Grand-dey.”
“Maybe -- maybe back to Inverness. See the old house and catch up with the old mates.”
“If you don’t mind some advice,” said Brian. “Pick something you can’t do regularly. You and Tabetha should go back and see Inverness, but let River take you someplace you can’t go any other way.”
Augustus thanked him, but his eyes clearly said he wasn’t up for that yet. He was like Brian before the dinosaurs: wanting to stay around home. He had left Scotland for Leadworth only out of necessity.
She left a few minutes later and the men talked about their work along with other things. Rory told them about his nursing and remarked to Churchill that a male nurse must seem odd to him. The Prime Minister pointed out they knew an alien who changed his face instead of dying, and flew about in a time traveling police box.
“And your daughter is the female version. What’s you being a nurse next to that? Besides, if I cared about the gender of the person who nursed our boys on the battlefield, what kind of man would I be?”
“Hear, hear,” the Brigadier seconded. “If you don’t mind my asking, why are River’s genetics the way they are? Time Lord DNA when she’s not from Gallifrey, and she’s yours, Rory - how did that happen?”
Rory, Brian, and Augustus exchanged looks before the elder Williams somehow got elected to explain. He answered with the tone people use when they know the one who asked is going to be sorry they did. “It’s a sad thing, the one part. The people who kidnapped her -- they did surgeries while Amy was pregnant with her. Now the other part of it,” he said brightly to ease them away from that heartache, ”isn’t like that, but it’s a big secret for some reason. Rory won’t say.”
“Neither will Amelia.” Augustus squinted at his poker hand and mumbled about how useless it was. “I can’t think why they don’t -- does the light on top of the blue box always carry on like that? I didn’t notice it before.”
Rory hunched over his cards and practically sank behind them. “Ignore it.”
Winston looked from him to the Tardis and back again. He leaned over and whispered in the other’s ear. Rory’s careful lack of reaction answered his question more than words and Churchill laughed.
“Why can’t you tell them that? It’s not like they haven’t it done it themselves. The act, not the location. Where do you think you came from?”
“Leave it.” The Roman had obviously gotten comfortable with the historical Prime Minister to insist that.
The level of brandy in the bottle got lower and lower, and they went into a second one that Alistair brought out. Churchill went into a grand rendition of the song “We’ll meet Again” from his own time. The others joined in, even if they only knew the song from handed down albums. When River walked into the room about then, she didn’t bother holding back her smile. She waved a hand to clear some of the smoke from the cigars, some lit for the sake of gesturing about with them. Rory’s was one of them.
By this time, they called him Centurion, which River had naturally put out there, along with his excellent medical record. Brian was Slayer, shortened from Pterodactyl Slayer, Augustus was Chieftain, Alistair was Brig, and Churchill was Winnie for a few minutes until he threatened to have them all shot. The fact that only his nanny was allowed to call him that brought up River calling the Doctor ‘Sweetie’. The unanimous vote agreed the endearment was a good thing.
By this time, a tipsy Rory kept saying, “Look at my girl! Nobody can say their daughter is better.”
Brian slapped a hand on the table. “She carries a trowel!” Like this was the height of her accomplishments. He ignored her saying that all archeologists had one in their kits. “A trowel, Rory!”
An equally woozy Augustus reminded his son-in-law that he was married to Amy, his and Tabetha’s daughter. Rory shut up as he imagined his wife and then brightened with a, “They’re equal!”
River grinned. "That saved you."
It led to a watery eyed Brian talking about his Ellie, his late wife and River's other grandmother. The Brigadier understood how he felt because he had lost his own wife not long ago. The men toasted, “To Ellie and Doris! Women amongst women!”
Alistair caught River standing in the room. “Present company excepted, of course.”
She hung around for several minutes and recorded the whole thing on video with her computer. The men followed that up with praising the women until Alistair lifted his glass with a loud, “Wives! By God, sir, wives!” like someone challenged him on it.
When the singing started again, River interrupted. “What do you say? Time to call an end to the game? We have a trip to take.” They all agreed this was a good idea. “Alright then, who’s the winner?”
They stared down at the pot in the center of the table. They had each shoved all their chips in a winner-take-all move a few hands ago and hadn’t bothered with them after that.
She chuckled. “All right, I’ll pick.”
She bundled them all into the Tardis and took them to a pub on Osmillon in the 43rd Century. The drinks there had no alcohol, despite tasting like they did, and the seven armed, dexterous natives could snatch wayward darts when the men’s now bad coordination totally missed the game board. Augustus kept looking around himself. He stepped about carefully, lifting one foot and then the other, testing the floor beneath him. He shut his eyes and opened them to see if anything had changed.
“I’m on another planet. Another planet. And these people-- Look at me, lass!” he cried out to River. “I’m an alien!”
She squeezed him in a bear hug that he gave back. “Yes, you are, Grand-dey. Welcome to the club.”
The Osmillons took an instant liking to them and led them to the cliffs right outside the bar. They watched a purple sun set behind a golden ocean, arm-in-seven-arms together. Their hosts gave loud trumpeting sounds through their snouts.
The Brigadier said, “If that’s the custom here, I think we should join in.”
“I’m warning you all,” said Churchill, “I am not going to be outdone, so bring your best bugling.”
They threw back their heads and trumpeted. River got that on video too.
She shooed them back into the ship and took off for the Vortex. She kept them whirling about there, because Rory offered to give his father-in-law the tour after all. The Tardis decided to have some fun with them, and started moving rooms and hallways around. They caught on after passing the same kitchen three times, and then they suddenly ended up befuddled back in the console room.
Sadly, the day had to end. River dropped the Brigadier off first and told the other men to wait for her. They parted with Alistair sorrowfully and he clasped their hands tightly. She walked with him into the house where his daughter Kate was waiting. He looked back and forth between the two of them.
He shook his head gently. “You have met each other. Life as we know it is done.”
His daughter told him not to worry about it and to get some sleep. She then gave River an earful over returning her father in this condition, reminding the other woman that she had said she wouldn’t.
River argued, "Kate, he’s fine --- why are you looking at me like that? What’s that paper?” Because Stewart kept looking from her to the report in her hands.
“We’re talking about building a scanner, so I can hopefully tell when the Doctor lands on Earth. We’re thinking we’ll try searching for artron energy spikes. When we get closer, maybe a device to check for two hearts in the chest. Think it will work? You could volunteer for the project.”
River rolled her eyes. “You want me to be a lab rat, so you can find the Doctor. No, Kate.”
“It makes up for you bringing my father home like this.”
“I told you, he’s fine. I made sure of it. This will last at most a half hour, and he had a good time. It was like they were soldiers in the trenches together."
“Soldiers in a trench perfectly describes the state of that study.”
“Send me the bill for the housekeepers.”
Stewart scoffed. “Where do I address it? Stormcage? I’d like to see the postman’s face when he gets hold of that.”
Churchill was next and his wife Clementine also yelled at River, who still thought they were overreacting. She made another promise, this one to make it all up to the Baroness the next time she dropped by.
Finally, she landed her family at home, two minutes after they had left, according to Tabetha’s watch.
They stumbled out with Augustus leading them in a rowdy “Scotland, The Brave" and the Williams men only joining in on the song’s chorus, because those were the only lyrics they knew.
Rory fell into Amy’s arms and she nearly dropped him because of his weight. “Our Melly, Amy. Our Melly!” and his eyes filled with tears.
Augustus choked up at this, took Tabetha’s hands, and held them to his heart. “I said Amelia was just as good. I did, Tabetha!”
“I should chuck you out of the yard,” she replied.
Rory wasn’t done. “We made her, Amy. Can you believe it?”
“Still not from a kit,” River insisted, but she said it softly.
Brian even sniffled, but for a different reason. "I have no one to hug." So his granddaughter hugged him.
Amy would have comforted him too, but she wrestled with Rory. "Get away from that barbecue! Your breath will set off a fireball, you idiot!"
He grinned and collapsed.
A lightbulb went on over Brian’s head. “Oh! I see it now. We were gone all day, but we got back here in only two minutes for them. That’s how you’re getting back to the Doctor.” He kissed that head of curls. “You’ve always been a bright girl, poppet. You get it from Amy.”
Tabetha started to yell at River, just as Kate Stewart and Clementine Churchill had done, and for the same reasons. Her granddaughter headed her off preemptively with the videos she had taken.
Amy watched them three times in a row. "We're getting copies of these, yeah?"
Tabetha watched side by side with her. "I'd send them back home to Scotland if the family could make sense of them. We can't explain Winston Churchill, let alone the furry, green things with all the arms."
River took back her computer. "I can remedy that. Grand-dey, how does 'Scotland, the Brave' go again?" She started recording and Tabetha complained.
“I didn’t mean inflict torture. Didn’t you get enough of this growing up?”
“Never,” River said with complete happiness.
Augustus burst out once more in loud, flat notes. He got all the way to, “Land o' the high endeavour, land o' the shining river!” in the second verse when he drifted off over his granddaughter’s other name being in his homeland’s proud song. He caught sight of his Tabetha watching him and rallied with, "Wives!"
Rory and Brian joined in, raising imaginary glasses. "By God, sir! Wives!"
"Okay," Amy told River, "that part almost made up for the song. But you can keep your place as my favorite daughter if you get him to do that 'our Melly' bit again on video."
Rory went back to the barbecue and Brian warned him off this time. “Why are you so nutty over it?”
Rory shrugged it off -- at first. “No big deal.” And then he blurted it out: “Because I was going to cook you dinner for Father’s Day, Dad.”
They both swayed a bit on their feet before Brian hugged him and then pulled back to tell him, “You let me tell every embarrassing story about you without trying to stop me. You didn’t even roll your eyes more than two or three times. That’s a great gift.”
“Amelia,” her dad called, “come over and sing with me?”
She nearly said no since it just didn’t appeal to her, but smiled lovingly at him instead. “My funny little dad,” she said to herself. The father she didn’t have for a whole timeline.
She bounded over to him. “What was that other song you used to sing?”
“‘The Thistle o’ Scotland.”
“You know I’ll never get out the Gaelic, but let's do this.”
They put an arm around each other. She took a selfie video of the two of them singing with huge grins. The worse he warbled, the worse she did too, and they laughed together over it. They bent over double as they imagined the reactions from the family back home.
She kissed him on the cheek. “Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”
He swelled up like a bantam rooster and kissed the knuckles of the hand he held.
“You know,” Tabetha commented, watching River’s videos again, “maybe we can send these. They understand about Melody, now that she sent those movies, whatever they were--”
“Terminator,” Amy inserted absently. She was busy looking over the movie she had just made. “The John Connor and Kyle scenes.”
“That’s it - which, by the way--” She rounded on her granddaughter. “-- traumatized your great-grandmother. You said you cut out the worst parts.”
River sighed. “Tell Nan I said I’m sorry. She’s lying anyway,” she said to Brian. “That woman couldn’t be traumatized by anything. She’s probably angry that I cut out the men’s nude bums.”
He snorted and River smiled innocently at Tabetha.
Augustus leaned over after a beat and whispered in Amy’s ear. At least, he thought he whispered; the whole group could hear him. “Amelia, you said the Scots had a spaceship?” She nodded. “I think -- I think I’m ready to see it.”
“Maybe you should wait until the drinking wears off. So you don’t regret it.”
His forehead scrunched as he thought about it. “I feel fine actually. I don’t know how, but there it is.”
“It’s the drinks on Osmillon,” River explained. “They clear up the alcohol in the human bloodstream. That’s why I took you there.” She smiled fondly at him. “I didn’t want you to be sick in the morning.”
“Good girl. So I’m not regretting the thing about the starship. You’ll go too?” he hastened to ask Amy.
She threw her arms around him and said of course she would. The last bit of hesitation flowed out of him. “We’ll get the kilts pressed. You still have yours from when we dressed up properly for the fete? You didn’t get rid of it?”
“Of course I didn’t. Mum, we’re going to Starship Scotland!”
Tabetha had paid attention the whole time, but she looked at her husband’s pleading gaze with an absolutely brilliant poker face. She slowly smiled to tease him. “Look at you thinking I wouldn’t go.”
“River!” Amy shouted.
Her daughter’s head shot up from where she talked with Brian. She caught the three Ponds staring at her and her expression turned to a rather Rory look. “What did I do?”
“Nothing yet, but you’re going to. You’re keeping the Tardis for awhile and taking us to Starship Scotland. Still have your kilt?”
Because they had taken Mels with them to the fete years ago, since, as a teenage Amy had said as she tossed a kilt to her, “You’re family and I’m not going to this thing by myself.” She had no idea back then how much it had meant to Melody. Even the getting a kilt in the face part. They had a family picture done there; she had the biggest smile.
River nodded over still having hers and that it would fit. Amy then told her to make a room for Augustus and Tabetha in the Tardis. “So they can spend the night before coming back and going to work or whatever.”
Tabetha clapped her hands. “We’ll get another family portrait done! We’ll put it next to the one from the fete. Rory, Brian, you’ll come along, won’t you? You’re family.”
But the Williams men told them to enjoy a day together. All the Ponds out where only River could take them.
Rory held out a hand to River. She went to his side immediately. “Great Father’s Day,” he told her and didn’t let go.
“I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too.”
They sat quiet for a moment listening to the family before she smiled at him. "I think Grandad wants his Father's Day barbecue after all."
A package arrived at each man’s doorstep with the address in River’s handwriting. It held a framed picture of them around the table, enjoying the talk of fathers on their special day. They hung them in spots of great honour on their walls. Augustus put his between the two family portraits of he and his girls in full Scottish regalia.
Notes: The Brigadier’s line, “Wonderful chap. All of them.” is a direct quote from The 20th Anniversary show: “The Five Doctors”. While I’m admitting that I stole dialogue, Rory’s line, “I’m never, ever, going to stop,” is from “Day of the Moon”.
They don’t say where the Ponds are from in Scotland, so I used Karen Gillan’s home of Inverness.
If you’d like to know the songs they sing:
Churchill’s “We’ll meet Again” (lyrics)
Augustus “Scotland the Brave” (lyrics)
Augustus “The Thistle o’ Scotland” (lyrics)
Imagine Amy’s “funny little dad” singing those. :)