(no subject)
i made a decision this morning. that i was going to be sober today. at least, once the drugs had finished processing and i'd pissed all the alcohol out. so far, so good. i'm still sober enough to recognise how big of an ass i've been lately which is sorta refreshing. but i don't know how much longer it's gonna last. in certain moments i can almost convince myself that life is actually good. that these things that exude a crushing weight upon my psyche aren't actually that bad. not only not bad, but at the least tolerable.
but that's just not true. i hate my new job. it's sterile. it's shitty fucking hours. sure, it's great when you look at the big picture, hell they've already given me a raise. even though i haven't shown up to work sober once. and fuck me, women. jesus. i don't know why it happens but seriously, why do they gravitate to self-destructive behavior? i'm in no place to fucking around with. i should suck it up and just get "emotional masochist" tattooed on my forehead. though honestly, i don't know how to go about getting that point across any clearer then having a conversation with me.
and i didn't manage to get home this week. since my fall from corporate slave when they lauded me with gifts and extra frequent flier miles, airlines have come together in a joint effort to give me the finger if i ever think about travelling. i spent 15 hours in the airport the past two days, on standby. yesterday they couldn't get me in. today, i gave up at 11am, since there was no way that i'd get back east in any reasonable amount of time. and figuring that i need to be back at work tomorrow morning at 9am....well. i'll just go ahead and take that 300 bucks i gave you for the standby ticket. what? no? seriously? you're giving me hotel vouchers instead? awesome. how about a ticket voucher, ya know, cause that's what i paid for? no? right. of course, standby is a different classification of tickets. how about just giving me the money back, i didn't go anywhere except through security a couple dozen times to smoke. no? great.
and that was my christmas money. merry fucking christmas jetblue. enjoy it, it's all your getting from me this year. sorry it's not that much. oh, and for the rest of you who i might have bought presents for, i'll just be chopping up my dignity and wrapping it in christmas weeks westword.
fuck i need a drink..
but that's just not true. i hate my new job. it's sterile. it's shitty fucking hours. sure, it's great when you look at the big picture, hell they've already given me a raise. even though i haven't shown up to work sober once. and fuck me, women. jesus. i don't know why it happens but seriously, why do they gravitate to self-destructive behavior? i'm in no place to fucking around with. i should suck it up and just get "emotional masochist" tattooed on my forehead. though honestly, i don't know how to go about getting that point across any clearer then having a conversation with me.
and i didn't manage to get home this week. since my fall from corporate slave when they lauded me with gifts and extra frequent flier miles, airlines have come together in a joint effort to give me the finger if i ever think about travelling. i spent 15 hours in the airport the past two days, on standby. yesterday they couldn't get me in. today, i gave up at 11am, since there was no way that i'd get back east in any reasonable amount of time. and figuring that i need to be back at work tomorrow morning at 9am....well. i'll just go ahead and take that 300 bucks i gave you for the standby ticket. what? no? seriously? you're giving me hotel vouchers instead? awesome. how about a ticket voucher, ya know, cause that's what i paid for? no? right. of course, standby is a different classification of tickets. how about just giving me the money back, i didn't go anywhere except through security a couple dozen times to smoke. no? great.
and that was my christmas money. merry fucking christmas jetblue. enjoy it, it's all your getting from me this year. sorry it's not that much. oh, and for the rest of you who i might have bought presents for, i'll just be chopping up my dignity and wrapping it in christmas weeks westword.
fuck i need a drink..