What I’d Give To Return...
What I’d give to
I’ve found its hard to breathe. My chest tightens, my breath catchs, and I just can’t breathe .
And I wish, I wish with my whole heart, as much as I know I should, I wish I could go back.
You know? Before I was this complete failure . Before everything fell apart. And yes, I know thats never going to happen, but what does it hurt to wish? Hmm? Because wishes don’t seem to like coming true.
And...and when I try to breathe it hurts. Like my ribs are intertwining and crushing my heart and stomach right out of me. Who knows, maybe they are? Its not just something mental and emotion, spiritual, but its physically. It hurts to think about it. I get sick, I want to throw up. I get headaches, I get moody, and I can’t ever stop wondering, “Why? Why me? Why my Mother, why us?” I wouldn’t ever know the answer but I can’t keep the thought from crossing my chaotic mind.
I can’t even stop worrying, let alone get a damned date to Christmas formal. I mean, why do I try? I try and I try and I try, and nothing ever changes! No boy is ever going to like me and want to date me, my life is never going to get better, my Mom’s going to be dead in a matter of days or weeks. And yes, I know saying that upsets people. So I’m bleeding sorry for upsetting everyone.
I can’t even talk about it! You know? I can’t cry about it, and go out and eat pumpkin ice cream for a hour about it. I really want to see Elizabethtown, but if I plan on going to HoS then I won’t be able to see it. I need to save it for that, and the rest of my money for Christmas presents. [[Because, I mean, Orbs...you’re my hero, you’re stuck with me, you’re damn trailer made me sob. <3]]
The world might fall apart if I ever open my mouth to speak about it, or think about it, or type about it. That’s the risk I run, living my life while the earth crumbles beneath my feet. But there isn’t anything I can do besides appear happy to my friends. I mean, why make everyone else suffer what I have to suffer?
Might as well get to sleep now, I’ve got a paper to write at like 3 in the morning.
I’m numb, I can’t do anything...
Mmhm this is Orbs <3
I’ve found its hard to breathe. My chest tightens, my breath catchs, and I just can’t breathe .
And I wish, I wish with my whole heart, as much as I know I should, I wish I could go back.
You know? Before I was this complete failure . Before everything fell apart. And yes, I know thats never going to happen, but what does it hurt to wish? Hmm? Because wishes don’t seem to like coming true.
And...and when I try to breathe it hurts. Like my ribs are intertwining and crushing my heart and stomach right out of me. Who knows, maybe they are? Its not just something mental and emotion, spiritual, but its physically. It hurts to think about it. I get sick, I want to throw up. I get headaches, I get moody, and I can’t ever stop wondering, “Why? Why me? Why my Mother, why us?” I wouldn’t ever know the answer but I can’t keep the thought from crossing my chaotic mind.
I can’t even stop worrying, let alone get a damned date to Christmas formal. I mean, why do I try? I try and I try and I try, and nothing ever changes! No boy is ever going to like me and want to date me, my life is never going to get better, my Mom’s going to be dead in a matter of days or weeks. And yes, I know saying that upsets people. So I’m bleeding sorry for upsetting everyone.
I can’t even talk about it! You know? I can’t cry about it, and go out and eat pumpkin ice cream for a hour about it. I really want to see Elizabethtown, but if I plan on going to HoS then I won’t be able to see it. I need to save it for that, and the rest of my money for Christmas presents. [[Because, I mean, Orbs...you’re my hero, you’re stuck with me, you’re damn trailer made me sob. <3]]
The world might fall apart if I ever open my mouth to speak about it, or think about it, or type about it. That’s the risk I run, living my life while the earth crumbles beneath my feet. But there isn’t anything I can do besides appear happy to my friends. I mean, why make everyone else suffer what I have to suffer?
Might as well get to sleep now, I’ve got a paper to write at like 3 in the morning.
I’m numb, I can’t do anything...
Mmhm this is Orbs <3