To Kurt
because I know he will never see it.
Don't fucking call me everyday because I know I'm just your back up. I knew that when you called me today and asked if I wanted to hang out that you would just be ditching me once your girlfriend got off work. Well, I have shit to do. I'm not gonna be at your back (beck?) and call. And when I think about it, if we did hang out today would you tell her about it? How many girls did you hang out with while we were dating that you didn't tell me about? But I can't let myself think of it that way or I'll go crazy. I just wanted you to know that this friendship might have worked out if you wouldn't have just jumped right onto another girl. I understand that I broke up with you, but the way you "recovered" makes me feel like you broke up with me. To make myself feel better I tell myself how you're over me because you're afraid of committment and for people like you you need to jump from girl to girl. As long as I would stick it out in our stupid, pointless relationship then you would too. And you knew I wouldn't move in with you if you gave Billy the master bedroom and that's why you asked me to move in with you, because you knew I would say no. I should've fucking done it. I looked at it as a convenience for you, but it really wouldn't have been and I really made things too convenient for you in the first place.
I really wish I could write music because I would make an entire album just on how fucked up you are. Why do I try to rescue you people? You never asked for my help. I thought if someone loved you that you would turn into a real person and not some fucking droid. You say you're nice but what's so nice about you? Because you're quiet and you don't argue? That's not the fucking same. As a matter of fact, your inability to argue and disagree makes you a mean person. But I've learned my lesson. I'm not putting myself out there anymore. I thought the important thing would be for me to just be myself and be a good person but now I'm not that stupid. And you'll never realize how fucked up you are and that's what pisses me off the most. Fuuuuuck!!!!
That doesn't help. I need like a punching bag, or something (like a life).
Don't fucking call me everyday because I know I'm just your back up. I knew that when you called me today and asked if I wanted to hang out that you would just be ditching me once your girlfriend got off work. Well, I have shit to do. I'm not gonna be at your back (beck?) and call. And when I think about it, if we did hang out today would you tell her about it? How many girls did you hang out with while we were dating that you didn't tell me about? But I can't let myself think of it that way or I'll go crazy. I just wanted you to know that this friendship might have worked out if you wouldn't have just jumped right onto another girl. I understand that I broke up with you, but the way you "recovered" makes me feel like you broke up with me. To make myself feel better I tell myself how you're over me because you're afraid of committment and for people like you you need to jump from girl to girl. As long as I would stick it out in our stupid, pointless relationship then you would too. And you knew I wouldn't move in with you if you gave Billy the master bedroom and that's why you asked me to move in with you, because you knew I would say no. I should've fucking done it. I looked at it as a convenience for you, but it really wouldn't have been and I really made things too convenient for you in the first place.
I really wish I could write music because I would make an entire album just on how fucked up you are. Why do I try to rescue you people? You never asked for my help. I thought if someone loved you that you would turn into a real person and not some fucking droid. You say you're nice but what's so nice about you? Because you're quiet and you don't argue? That's not the fucking same. As a matter of fact, your inability to argue and disagree makes you a mean person. But I've learned my lesson. I'm not putting myself out there anymore. I thought the important thing would be for me to just be myself and be a good person but now I'm not that stupid. And you'll never realize how fucked up you are and that's what pisses me off the most. Fuuuuuck!!!!
That doesn't help. I need like a punching bag, or something (like a life).