am i fucking invisible? jesus.

i find myself becoming more and more engulfed in an existentialist outlook on life. looking at the past, the present, and worrying about my future through a clouded bitter attitude has significantly marred my ability to see hope in what is to come. i want to wash myself of thoughts and emotions that could potentially cause myself harm, in favor of ( Read more... )

can you believe that i had an epiphany while watching a crappy show on mtv? while perusing the channels, i found nothing on. apparently the new season of "the hills" was on. for those not in the know, it's a show filled with dramatic, whiney, rich bitches that has no real point. alas, in my depressed state, i started to watch while eating my lunch ( Read more... )

"if i keep holding my breath i'm going to disappear"

this is how i feel.

waiting.

waiting.

i have been more patient lately than i may have ever been.

i hope this doesn't go unnoticed.

the plan last night was to go dancing at michael's. the one place in town where you don't have to worry about people judging you, you can just have a great time. anyway, drinking and dancing was the plan. i was going to try and drown my sorrows in a loud room. so we went to egan's before hand for a few drinks and found out the news. michael's is ( Read more... )

i found absolutely nothing that will take my mind off of things. i feel anxious and empty and find pleasure in nothing. i know this is the way it will be for a while, but it's been so long since i've gone through this. don't you hate it when you find someone that is your picture of your perfect match, then it's just, over. how can i not be ( Read more... )

and as quickly as it began, it is over.

i'm devastated.

if you haven't seen the trailer for michael gondry's latest film, "be kind rewind", then you must check it out. i had to put it on here because it's brilliant. i love his work. then again, i have a thing for jack black, too.



and if you know me at all, you all know i love ryan reynolds. love love love him. this is the trailer for his new movie called ( Read more... )

school is starting soon. teaching is starting soon. my last year before i become a teacher for good. mixed emotions and anxieties. another photography class that will eat up all my time. not ready yet. just not ready ( Read more... )

i couldn't hold it in anymore. not today.

i can only be strong for so long.