With Ears To See And Eyes To Hear - Chapter 7
Title: With Ears To See And Eyes To Hear
Author: echostone155
Rating: PG-13 (Each chapter will be rated individually)
Pairing: Jack/Alex
Summary: Alex is a mind reader.
Title credit goes to: Sleeping With Sirens c:
Masterpost
It had been three days. 72 hours. 4320 minutes. 259 200 seconds. It had been hell. He felt empty, like nothing really mattered anymore; his appearance, grades, social life. His grandparents had traveled from Essex to Baltimore just when they found out. It wasn't right. Having to bury their daughter or son. It felt weird thinking about his parents as someones children. That no matter how strict they were about him going to house parties they had been young too. They had fucked up too.
Having his grandparents there with him was nice. Comforting. It felt like a part of his mom and dad were still there. Besides his grandparents the only person he had talked to was Jack. Jack who nearly never left his house other than when he had to go to school. He would tell his mom 'no' every time, but he knew it was a wasted effort, he had to go to school.
Alex appreciated him trying to spend all of his time with him though. No one forced him to, actually they did the quite opposite.
'You should go home and get some rest, Jack. Alex will be fine for a couple of hours without you.'
Every time they mentioned it to him Alex would send Jack a pleading look and Jack would just excuse himself and go to the toilet.
Zack and Rian had been there too, but Alex didn't feel like talking to them too much. His head was just a mess of thoughts, feelings and hate. Hate for the person who killed his parents who wouldn't get more than a couple of years in jail and unlike Alex he didn't have to live without his parents for the rest of his life.
'Hey, do you want some toast?' Jack asked carefully, trying not to startle Alex who was lying on his back looking at his ceiling.
He and Jack had carefully painted 'This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me' in black with a few red roses on the edges, eight to be precise. Eight you may ask. It was eight because Jack and Alex is eight letters when put together.
It had been two weeks since they had done it and he had almost no worries in the world, except Matt of course. Even though that had slowly faltered and Matt had visited Alex and Alex had asked Jack to leave the room. Jack's face was so hurt, but he played it off smoothly but Alex could see he had been crying when he came back.
What if he decides he rather wants Matt than me?
Matt had forgiven Alex and they had hugged and cried and it felt good finally having Matt back, but this time as a friend and nothing more. He knew he could trust Matt with everything and it felt so nice just having a friend.
'I guess that would taste good now,' he said, smiling with his chapped lips.
'Come downstairs with me, Lex. Everyone is worried about you.. Your sister even came home yesterday and you haven't uttered a single word to her,' Jack said.
Alex's sister had been in Australia going to college there, and she had been lucky that she could go home as fast as he could.
'I'm not in the mood to talk to them, Jacky,' he murmured softly, scratching the tiny bit of stubble he had gotten recently. It wasn't much, just soft hair.
'Just come downstairs, I promise we'll go straight to the kitchen and then straight back to your bedroom, okay?'
Alex nodded, got out of his bed and walked over to Jack.
'Thank you so much. For everything,' he said and hugged him.
*
It was a Sunday afternoon, three weeks after his parents passing. The funeral was over and Alex didn't remember much of it. He had been sitting on the front bench crying on Jack's shoulder who was murmuring comforting words to him.
Now Jack and Alex was laying on the floor in Alex's room, listening to the distant sound of Jimmy Eats World in the background. It was nice to just lay like that, without a single word spoken. Just being able to relax with each other, not thinking about his parents.
'Hey, Jack? What do you think happens after you die?' Alex asked and turned on his side, looking at Jack who was just staring blankly at the ceiling.
'You die and that's it,' he replied blankly, not wanting to look at Alex. If he did he might cry because he knew how vulnerable the boy was now.
'I know you die, but what happens to your soul, Jack? I actually refuse to believe that you're on the Earth for all this time and then you just disappear, just like that. There has to be something else, Jack. Something so beyond us we can't imagine it. It has to.'
'Maybe, maybe not. Guess you'll find out when you die,' he said and smiled weakly at Alex. 'I mean, sure, it would be nice to know for certain that there's an afterlife, but you have to look realistically at it,' he said and rolled over, facing Alex.
'Maybe... But like, what do you think the purpose of life is?' he asked, and honestly, Jack was tired of playing twenty questions.
'I don't know, do what makes you happy and fuck everything else? I don't really care as long as I can spend it with you,' he said and pecked the bridge of Alex's nose.
'As cute as that is, it's still stupid.'
'Sorry, babe,' Jack said and sat up. 'Maybe your parents are 'up there',' he said, waving his hands for emphasis. 'It would be nice, wouldn't it? Having someone that loves you up there taking care of you, watching out for you. Like a guardian angel almost. Maybe Grandma is up there?' Jack said, smiling.
'I bet she is,' Alex smiled. 'Wanna go for a walk?'
Jack nodded and they got dressed as they walked out in the cold November air. The cold air hugged around their bodies and they instantly walked closer, intertwining their fingers.
They walked through the park and to the playground where Alex had been a lot with his parents when he was a kid, they walked to the mall and grabbed a burger before they just mindlessly walked around town.
Alex hadn't had a real laugh in s long time now, but when they walked past Starbucks and saw a wannabe gangster as Jack said, fall straight on his ass he couldn't help it. He had to stop walking and he clutched his hands around his stomach, the laughter slipping from his mouth. In the end it was just hysterical breathing coming out and Jack laughed too.
He laughed because he had also witnessed the boy falling, but mostly because Alex seemed happy. He didn't seem so sad or exhausted. It was like the laughter in him had died down along with his other emotions, but now it came back and Alex didn't look exhausted anymore. He didn't look pale. He looked healthy like a teenager should be.
Alex stopped laughing after a while, and when he realized what he had done it was almost like his face dropped and he realized that he wasn't grieving as much anymore.
'Hey, Lex.. It's fine to be happy. You shouldn't have to go around and be sad all the time. I know it's hard right now, but allow yourself to laugh and be happy and just live,' Jack smiled.