Something just occurred to me.

Presenting
The worst possible sentence to hear from an assaultive pirate:

"Tenderizin' the meat!"

Because it means he plans on fucking or eating you. Possibly both.

I did Nothing today. In a week this day will have bled in with it's neighbours and in a month I will cease to have lived it. The spastic jumble that will be my mind a few decades hence won't have any use for the fact that I ate a havarti pizza or bought a birthday card today, hopefully I'll have done something worth remembering by then.

I did ( Read more... )

I got two gift certificates with my paycheque today, totalling $50. Being the irresponsible card that I am, I blew it all on vegetables right away. The fresh snow peas, bamboo shoots, onion sprouts, green peppers etc.. that I'd been brooding over jealously for months were suddenly within my grasp, and costs be damned, I shamelessly grabbed at ( Read more... )

I prefer reading reviews to things to things themselves. Movies, music, cheeses, reviews, It's all somehow better dissected in text by an objective third party. After consuming any kind of media, I find myself rushing to my computer to have my tastes confirmed or contested, and finding millions crowding to oblige me, suggesting that I'm not alone ( Read more... )

It's too cold to go outside, so I spent my day off sorting through my mp3 collection to separate the wheat from the chaff and clear up some HD space. In so doing I discovered that 90% of my Bach is performed by Glenn Gould, and also that 100% of that portion sucks. They're "interpretations" but only in the same way that running a sentence through ( Read more... )

I went downtown today on my bi-monthly tobacco run only to discover that my tobbaconist of choice, Julius Vesz, closes an hour earlier on Saturdays. a full 15 minutes before I arrived at his store. I walked a couple of blocks to my alternate tobacconist's shop of choice, Casablanca, only to discover that they have totally gone down the shitter ( Read more... )

Click here to see my result.

Quote: Tooth ache complete, I now await the commencement of my no-tooth ache.

Update: Here it is. Ow.

Slept overnight at Sean's (and by slept I mean played Super Mario Sunshine) and got up bright and early in order to reach Mt. Sinai hospital in time to have a couple of bones wrenched out of my face. Dentist A, who arranged the appointment for me, called this process EXO 36 and 37. Dentist B, who executed the process, called it EXO 42 and 43. I don ( Read more... )

Things have been cooking up at my workplace lately. Two weeks ago, a girl whose identity I will withhold for now and will instead dub cash ninja X because it sounds cooler broke up with her boyfriend. This apparently was not a nice breakup, because when she arrived at work the next day she was greeted by two police cruisers and a lot of unfriendly ( Read more... )