first memory | accidental video [backdated to wednesday, may 11th]
[Jade must have accidentally set the SFC to record when she flopped onto her bed, since a video feed clicks on! For a moment the only visible thing is a sea of black hair... Then she turns over so her face is visible to anyone watching. There's also a cloud floating around; John will probably notice that it looks a lot like the clouds he saw on Skaia. After a few brief moments of silence, the thought bubble decides to make itself heard.]
Isn't it lonely?
[She looks over at the thought bubble, confused.]
Why would I be lonely? All my friends are here...
That doesn't mean you can't be lonely.
But it doesn't make sense!
It doesn't have to! Think about how we grew up. Think about what happened in Sburb. How can you still be so worried about whether or not things make sense after all that?
... [Okay, there isn't really anything she can say to that.]
But it's okay to be lonely, really! Just like it's okay to be worried that your only three friends from back home will abandon you!
They'd never abandon me! We've known each other for years and we're really close!
You're still worried about it, though! You were always terrified about what would happen when you met them face-to-face.
Yeah, I was... But then it actually happened and I realized how silly it was for me to be worried!
Then why are you still worried about it?
I'm not!
Yes, you are! You worry that they talk about you behind your back and laugh... That they think you're just a stupid, silly girl who doesn't understand how the real world works. And you really don't! You never had the chance to learn! Why would anyone ever want to be friends with a girl who was raised by a dog, anyway?
I... They don't... They wouldn't... They don't care about that!
You tell yourself that, but you still cry sometimes when you're alone because you're afraid they'll leave you! You know if they did, you'd probably never make any other friends! You'd be all alone again, just like you were on your little island!
I'm sure I'd be able to make other friends!
But would you want to? They'd probably just end up leaving you too!
...
Anyway, they can never know about any of this, can they? You feel like you have to hide it behind cheerfulness and smilies and hearts all the time!
That's not true! I know I could talk to them about anything!
Then why don't you?
Because I don't want to bother them with my problems! I am sure they have enough things to deal with already!
Or are you just afraid they'd push you away if they knew just how many problems you had?
What?
You know what I mean! We're just a huge bundle of issues and insecurities! We're just a silly, scared little girl who doesn't know how to function in the real world. No one really likes us! They're just putting up with us. We'll never be cool enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough for them!
I don't think any of that! You don't know anything about me!
[She turns over so she doesn't have to look at the cloud anymore. She apparently ends up bumping the SFC and turning it off in the process, since we see a close-up view of her sleeve and then the feed clicks off.]
((Replies will most likely be in text format! If you don't want to deal with bright green Courier, her text permissions post is over here! Also, I may be using some of my other Jade accounts for icons in the comments. So if you get a notif from whatpumpkins or usedappearify, just know that those are also me!))
Isn't it lonely?
[She looks over at the thought bubble, confused.]
Why would I be lonely? All my friends are here...
That doesn't mean you can't be lonely.
But it doesn't make sense!
It doesn't have to! Think about how we grew up. Think about what happened in Sburb. How can you still be so worried about whether or not things make sense after all that?
... [Okay, there isn't really anything she can say to that.]
But it's okay to be lonely, really! Just like it's okay to be worried that your only three friends from back home will abandon you!
They'd never abandon me! We've known each other for years and we're really close!
You're still worried about it, though! You were always terrified about what would happen when you met them face-to-face.
Yeah, I was... But then it actually happened and I realized how silly it was for me to be worried!
Then why are you still worried about it?
I'm not!
Yes, you are! You worry that they talk about you behind your back and laugh... That they think you're just a stupid, silly girl who doesn't understand how the real world works. And you really don't! You never had the chance to learn! Why would anyone ever want to be friends with a girl who was raised by a dog, anyway?
I... They don't... They wouldn't... They don't care about that!
You tell yourself that, but you still cry sometimes when you're alone because you're afraid they'll leave you! You know if they did, you'd probably never make any other friends! You'd be all alone again, just like you were on your little island!
I'm sure I'd be able to make other friends!
But would you want to? They'd probably just end up leaving you too!
...
Anyway, they can never know about any of this, can they? You feel like you have to hide it behind cheerfulness and smilies and hearts all the time!
That's not true! I know I could talk to them about anything!
Then why don't you?
Because I don't want to bother them with my problems! I am sure they have enough things to deal with already!
Or are you just afraid they'd push you away if they knew just how many problems you had?
What?
You know what I mean! We're just a huge bundle of issues and insecurities! We're just a silly, scared little girl who doesn't know how to function in the real world. No one really likes us! They're just putting up with us. We'll never be cool enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough for them!
I don't think any of that! You don't know anything about me!
[She turns over so she doesn't have to look at the cloud anymore. She apparently ends up bumping the SFC and turning it off in the process, since we see a close-up view of her sleeve and then the feed clicks off.]
((Replies will most likely be in text format! If you don't want to deal with bright green Courier, her text permissions post is over here! Also, I may be using some of my other Jade accounts for icons in the comments. So if you get a notif from whatpumpkins or usedappearify, just know that those are also me!))