Comments | ed_ucate: does stopping SI exacerbate your ED?

_radioactivity in ed_ucate

does stopping SI exacerbate your ED?

May 24, 2012 14:19

So my boyfriend of 2.5 years cant stand it when I self harm so I have promised I would stop. Ive been doing pretty good but ever since I stopped I have noticed that my anorexia has reemerged it's ugly head and I'm already getting stuck in that downward spiral. Has anyone in here ever stopped self harming only to find your eating disorder to get ( Read more... )

Comments 20

(The comment has been removed)

_radioactivity May 25 2012, 02:07:56 UTC

you sound like me a lot. i bounce around a lot too. ive been addicted to cocaine and heroin (im currently on suboxone to control my addiction) so i know how that shit goes too. one good thing about being on suboxone, though, is that i cant drink on it. and im not just not drinking because "doctor said so" if i have one shot while taking this stupid medication i get sick and super anxious. i used to be a huge binge drinker and it SUCKS not even being able to have a "social" drink here and there, but when i look back, i realize that there never was such a thing as a "social" drink when it came to me. if was drinking i was drinking to get wasted and id go on month long binges. my self harm wasnt as bad then now that i reflect. and i quit smoking ciggs too so i dont even get that little rush anymore. i do smoke the reefer but ive been smoking since i was 14 and it has been such a miracle for my anxiety and also for my eating disorder. its the only thing that helps me from getting sick and it gets rid of my panic attacks in like five ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

_radioactivity May 26 2012, 22:52:55 UTC

nooooooooo that sucks weed gives you attacks. its the only thing about me that keeps me from being straight edge and istill eel straight edge and that is a very scary feeling not having that quick fix to run to. ugh. im glad uve learned to accept you will just have to deal with missing out on some stuff. thats really good :) im having a hard time doing that because drinking has been a part of my life since i was like 18 years old and i was huge into coke for a while when i was 16 so all my life all ive known is drugs/EDs/SI. im glad the therapy is helping u already, though thats awesome :D <3

cranes May 25 2012, 04:55:29 UTC

Yes, it's happened to me too. I absolutely never used to purge, but was self harming on a daily basis. Now purging has taken over self harming; I've stopped cutting myself totally, but purge on a daily basis now. I think it's pretty common, though.

_radioactivity May 26 2012, 22:53:24 UTC

thought i was the only one! glad to see im not but also sad to see so many others suffer the same. im sorry :/

(The comment has been removed)

_radioactivity May 27 2012, 14:40:55 UTC

gosh i feel you on that and hey!! how are you? i didnt realize it was you either until i read your other comment. i was trying not to use my default icon of kate moss because people have complained about it to me in two diff communities before lol. i love it but i feel like because its kate moss it def could have a "thinspo" vibe to it and i didnt want to post with that but im just re-reading all my responses on here and realizing i kept kate for my other icons on here hahaha oh well i tried. i love the icon u r using right now, i want to be in that flower field so bad right now!

(The comment has been removed)

_radioactivity June 12 2012, 16:33:53 UTC

thank you so much for your comment. im sorry we are have dealt with similar struggles dealing with stigma and doctors just basically being assholes but thank you for telling me you have because sometimes i feel so alone in this and that im a bad person who doesnt deserve help because ive been denied it so many times. ive called some therapists and left messages saying id like to work with them and i have bpd and no one has called me back so thats really starting to frustrate me. it seriously makes me not even want to try to seek help anymore. im also sorry your parents are telling you you cant SI or they will kick you out. my dad gave me that same ultimatum and one day he found a cut and threw me out of the house that night fully aware i had nowhere to go and then he didnt talk to me for two years. it was fucking ridiculous. we are on pretty good terms now because ive decided, its in the past, might as well let it stay there instead of staying angry and all but it still upsets me sometimes when i think back on it. if he were more ( ... )